Did you ever think because you CD you were gay?

[SIZE="2"]My heart goes out to all of those who are confused as to what "category" you fit into. This social labeling is so wrong and causes so much pain.
My whole young life I was tortured by thoughts of being "wrong". As a child I read every scrap of information I could about Transsexuals, CD's and gays to try to understand what "niche" I fit in and try to fix myself. There wasn't much out there in the 60's and 70's in a small town. As my step family, siblings and parents found out about my 'perversions', I was ridiculed, taunted, and called "Gay". An openly gay step brother tried to come on to me many times, which was finally repulsed by the threat of a slow death. Suicide was an option seriously considered most of my younger years. My fundamentalist "Christian" (AKA hateful of anything different) family persecuted me mercilessly. I joined the Marines to try to "cure" myself of being "Gay", which only confused me more, since I cannot stand to be around testosterone soaked jocks, but helped me grow tremendously as an adult with a talent with heavy machinery and electronics. It was only when the internet came along with its bottomless well of information that I finally realized that I'm a CD and now accept myself. Being Gay is just another way of being human. [/SIZE]

I never thought that I was gay.. the thought never crossed my mind, either when I was young and confused or now as a middle aged cross dresser with the same confused existance.. I say confused because I don't think I can honestly say I know why I cross dress.. I don't know why all those years ago I thought "hmm I wonder what those shoes would feel like if I wore them??" or the same thing as I graduated from shoes to hose to skirts to dresses and then makeup/jewelry.. the whole thing... but gay never entered into my mind.. it wasn't and isn't sexual in that way.. I think it is more of a self expression type of thing.. an experiment of sorts.. kind of the old saying "if it feels good do it" and it felt and still does feel good..

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Originally Posted by marla01

For me, the purpose of language is to communicate, it is not to constrain thought.

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And we can only communicate so long as words have meanings. If everyone decides to use words in accordance with their own personal semantics, we'll have a massive breakdown in communication.

My posts are never angry. I do my best to use words in such a manner that my point is clear, which quite often comes across as blunt. Flowery prose breeds misunderstanding.

Call yourself whatever you wish. Just don't expect others to believe that a relationship involving you -- a male -- with another male, is heterosexual. We are talking about physical sex here. Otherwise, why pretend words have meanings at all? Why don't we all just throw our dictionaries away, and mumble and grunt to each other?

Funny but I never thought I was Gay I knew I was Hetro but man I certainly was confused!!! All I knew was I wanted to be a girl!

Kelsy:)

I have never considered myself 'gay' unless you consider my desires when i'm dressed. I enjoy looking at all humans for their individual traits of beauty, I just recently started looking at everybody just a little differently men included, iv'e began to notice little things, such as the care put into the grooming of ones nails, or a guy that grooms his eyebrows, etc... things i never noticed before i accepted my fem side. it is an awsome way to see the world. but in no way have i ever been or will i be gay.

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Originally Posted by MissConstrued

And we can only communicate so long as words have meanings. If everyone decides to use words in accordance with their own personal semantics, we'll have a massive breakdown in communication.

My posts are never angry. I do my best to use words in such a manner that my point is clear, which quite often comes across as blunt. Flowery prose breeds misunderstanding.

Call yourself whatever you wish. Just don't expect others to believe that a relationship involving you -- a male -- with another male, is heterosexual. We are talking about physical sex here. Otherwise, why pretend words have meanings at all? Why don't we all just throw our dictionaries away, and mumble and grunt to each other?

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LOL, you can try to label me any way you like. That is your exercise in futility, not mine.

But the fact remains, I find how I relate to others sexually, and how others relate to me sexually is dependent on my gender. I find this to be an interesting observation, with possible implications on the vary nature of sexuality and sexual attraction. Shoot, I actually find my sexual chakra's change, and even how I orgasm changes depending on my gender (for example, as a woman I am capable of multiple orgasms, mainly because my chakra has moved away from my genitals).

It's just an interesting observation.

Marla

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Originally Posted by marla01

as a woman I am capable of multiple orgasms,

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Horsefeathers. With strengthening of certain muscles, and paying attention to the ejaculatory reflex, most any male is capable of multiple orgasm.

The mind is a very powerful thing, to be sure, and we've barely scratched the surface as a species for what it can do. But it has limits. I daresay you can no more make yourself a woman by the power of your imagination than I can make myself Yoda.

I have never been attracted to men. In all my wildest fantasies its always been girls.

As a teenager I was totally messed up. My love of dressing made me think I must be gay but I had no attraction to men.I was totally in awe of the females around me. I wanted in their skirts in a couple of ways :o. I think I would have gone insane trying to figure it out on my own. The internet was my mental savior, I was able to research and find out I am not the only one. Just one of many that has to keep everything somewhat hidden from most of the people around me. With this forum and other sources I have been able to come to terms with it and my mind is in a better place with the whole thing.

With that I would like to thank the members here for their thoughts on all subjects because of you I am learning something all the time.

Nope. Can't do it, have no desire. Gay, by definition, never been with a man while I was in drab (began dressing before sex was an issue) No attraction to men in dresses, masculine or feminine. Hey buster! there's only room for one girl here, and yer lookin at her.
Yup, gay by definition, consider myself a str8 female with a difference. Might just be a head trip, but since I have stopped worrying about it, I am a lot happier, and I just love being Kelly.

I basically chose to open myself up to being with men the more I realized what my real-world prospects were with women.

I can fairly easily describe what I am. I am a straight male with androgynous tastes. I also under-dress constantly and dress fully on occasion. I am also a man who feels that he understands the female side of most disagreements more than most, and who wishes that society would just chill out and let everyone just be themselves. See easy!:bonk::bonk::bonk:

Well, by the time I was 13 I had been dressed up and been 'the girl' in a sexual relationship for many years, so I kind of thought that's what I was. I don't know if I could have classified myself as homosexual, because I really thought that I was going to grow up and eventually BE a girl at that point. For the next couple of years after that, I gradually realized that I had no sexual interest in males, and for a while I thought I was a transsexual. It took much longer for that concept to pass. Eventually I came to understand that I'm just a heterosexual male attracted to women, but that I will forever be stuck with the underlying feeling that I'm supposed to behave, dress, and relate intimately as a female. It really sucks, that.