Quote Originally Posted by MissConstrued View Post
And I will. Hetero, my left ass.

If you have two lesbians, and one is wearing men's jeans, does that make them both straight?

There's so little stigma left attached to "gay" any more, and even less to "bi" which is almost trendy nowadays. Why do we need cockamamie excuses? You want to role-play? Fine. Wearing makeup does not make a man into a woman -- never has, never will. You can fantasize all you like -- it's your life, and no one has any right to tell you otherwise. But I must insist on proper use of the English vocabulary. Two guys having sex is not hetero -- it's homo. End of story.
I would point out that 'gender' is very much a social construct. As such, there is no absolute 'truth' nor is there 'fantasy' within the bounds of that construct. There cannot be. The measure of a viewpoint or belief is not in the 'truth' but instead how that view of the world works for an individual.

It is fairly apparent that we have strongly divergent views on the nature of 'gender'. I am having to guess some from your post but it seems to me that you think physical sex defines gender. Certainly, this is a common viewpoint. It's a very black and white view of the world, and certainly under that definition, sexual preference is just as black and white as you are trying to paint it. If the person has a penis, and the partner has a penis, it therefore must be a gay relationship.

But I have discovered that black and white view has a great many problems in describing the diversity of gender, sexuality, sex and humanity. I could go through a whole list of facts that shed doubt on the sex is gender is fixed belief system, but just let me say that I have found a much more effective model of the world, at least for myself.

In that model, physical sex is fairly independent of gender and gender is not immutable. This model certainly seems to describe my own person, a male woman, quite well. And perhaps more importantly, it gives me a construct that gives me the tools for a successful life (and yes, I have a quite successful life).

I would suggest that any view of the world that leads to a more successful life cannot be 'fantasy' as you seem to want to paint it. For that matter, I would question your view of the world. Your post seemed quite angry. Could it be because your view has not been very successful?

I would also like to touch on language for a second. You insisted that I use some unknown dictionaries definitions to constrain my use of language. I would suggest that again, we have different world views here. For me, the purpose of language is to communicate, it is not to constrain thought. The purpose of a dictionary is to describe how words are commonly used, not to constrain how one thinks and views the world. As such, it is perfectly acceptable to modify the English language as new ideas and concepts grow within our society. The criteria here is not how well the word matches some silly dictionary, but instead how well the word communicates the ideas of the writer. I think that the way I used the terms did meet this criteria of communication.

Marla:2c: