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I've been dating men for a while now. I'm totally into them even though I haven't yet found the right one for me to consider being in a LTR with.
I don't really consider myself gay...I don't like men that are into being with me intimately as a boy. I like men that appreciate the woman that I represent inside and out. I might be a little husky for a girl, but there are men that like that.
Eventually I plan on living as a woman 24/7, and hope to find a man that wants me to be his lady.
I am not attracted to just men at all, never have been either. I'm attracted to women so much that I strive to look like one sometimes. I'm also very very attracted to sex with a real woman. Other tgirls definitely attract me and turn me on though, without a doubt, just not necessarily their "male parts", which are undeniable when it comes to things like sex. I'd like to experiment one day (with another tgirl), but chances are it won't go further than fooling around.
I don't think about being with guys while dressed or not; I'm in an LTR and very happy with a wonderful woman!
On the other hand, I'm more attracted to guys than girls and have dated men before. There isn't really a schism for me between halves of my personality. Whatever I'm wearing, I feel like I'm a woman, and who I'm attracted to doesn't change. On the other hand, I'm interested in straight men, and that doesn't work as well when you're not full-time or working with the right bits.
I'm not going to lead anyone on, but I want to feel like I have a connection with someone before anything intimate happens. So, in previous relationships I've waited four or more months until it gets to that level. Trust me, women are MUCH more okay with that than men, lol.
I guess the last thing would be that my standards are pretty high, not as far as being great looking, but as far as having their life together (good job, hopefully some education, good friends or family, happy and not bitter, etc.). Those are things I can bring to the table, and I don't want to settle for less. The long and the short of that is that women are way cooler with all of this. If anything, I've had ex gf's say they liked the soft skin and shaved legs, so who knows.
Frankly I consider myself hugely blessed to have found the person I have, who's sleeping in the next room, and knowing I get to spend Christmas with her. Whether you get it with men or women, I wish everyone to have that kind of twitterpated feeling :).
I am very clear on this matter of when and to whom I am sexually attracted.
As a man, I am definitely heterosexual, that is I have never been sexually attracted to another man, and have never had an intimate relationship with one.
When I am crossdressed, I am now aware that that is a very different matter. A year ago, I replied to a man who sent me an e-mail on my URNA site,asking to meet me. He professed to be very taken with me, wanting to have him with me "as his wife" while on a business trip, etc. I must confess, I was obsessed with the fantasy and still am! Of course, it is still only in my mind, but ......oh my!!!!! Sorry, girls!
But you're not gay? How's that work?Quote:
Originally Posted by Monica93304
Guys are not on my event horizon. But hey for you if it feels good do it. Just be careful or you could become a statistic.
Vieja
While I have no desire to be romantically involved with a man, I have had fantasies in which I would be cuddles and kissed by one, as well with other cd's. No penetratration. Just cuddling, kissing and some licking. :D
I'm not attracted to men that act gay or are openly gay. To me there is a difference.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Jim
It's funny how many here see it as disgusting if a CD/TS/TG person likes men. LOL. Luckily, I've been with men and women being dressed as either a man or a woman. So it's easy for me to choose what gender I prefer to be with.
I really like the atttention I get from men. I'm just glad we're all different. If we all had the same taste, it would definately be boring.
I rarely check out a "guy guy" but I KNOW when I am checking out a CD, they have that "something extra".
Maybe that's part of the attraction? I know I have thought about finding a "surprise" after making out for a while.
:daydreaming:
Many "manly" men don't shave very closely....beard burn is the end result of the passion session. A lot of T girls prefer t girls and GGs as it is smoother going! Each to their own and it is great that we all have different tastes.:2c:
Ok, I get that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monica93304
but if you eventually plan on living as a woman 24/7, and hope to find a man that wants you to be his lady - and you're having relations with him as "his lady" - that means you're not heterosexual.
I think you're making it more complicated than it is. I never said I was heterosexual. I want to be with a man that looks at me as a woman regardless of what's in between my legs. If you want to get totally technical about it, then yes, I would be a homosexual. But I don't think you get it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Jim
A lot of this just seems to be semantics and terminology and isn't really important.
Just about what you like or dislike .. what you want to call that is your business :2c:
I think maybe you should study up some on transsexuals Slim. Plumbing is cosmetic, it's the heart and soul and brain that defines the person. Sure. logic would seem to indicate that if two bioloical men got together .......gay!Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Jim
But where does logic play a part in any of this?:)
Kel
Ok, I get it. Thanks for clearing that up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monica93304
I must have missed the part where Monica said she was TS. Did she say that?Quote:
Originally Posted by kellycan27
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Originally Posted by Slim Jim
Hi Slim. I'm not trying to side track the whole topic, but it is relevant I suppose. I did not claim to be a TS or anything else. I'm just doing what makes me happy as I'm sure we all strive to be.
I think Kelly "gets" where I'm coming from. I haven't gone through any medical evaluations. But I know where I'd like to be someday. I know that because I've felt the same way my whole life. I'm pretty sure that I would fall very close to being categorized a TS. But that doesn't consume me.
I just think it's important to be yourself. For me, it just happens to be that I love the company of a man that's secure with himself, knows what he wants, and digs being with me.
I totally agree, feminine men are soooo cute :) :love: More in common with me, I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitlin the cd
Hugs, Marci :hugs:
I am definitely a lipstick fem lesbian
there is something that gets me all warm and fuzzy inside when i think about being with a guy who is secure and happy to be with me as me...sort of romantic...
then again...i would like to feel that way with that special someone...be they GG, CD,TV or guy...a hopeless romantic?
Does it make a difference?Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Jim
Yeah, one of the main purposes of my CD-ing is for living out my girl-on-girl fantasies with my wonderful GF. So as Eddie Izzard eloquently puts it, I fall into the "male lesbian" category, like many of you, of "running, jumping, climbing trees... and putting on makeup when you're up there."
i so get what you are saying hunni, its exactly the same with me. i donno, i think it is all just semantics as someone else said. the fact is that "gay" is in most peoples minds more than just a sexual preference, and not something which i really relate to in any way. I actually think its more a cultural word than anything, which is why the term "queer" has had a bit of a resurgence...basically meaning not hetrosexual. i do however consider myself homosexual and am totally cool with that. i got no problem being called gay either really...it jst a little misleading as to what you are about, thats allQuote:
Originally Posted by Monica93304
It's not disgusting. But if you're a man attracted to men, you're gay--whether you're wearing lacy panties or not. There's a big difference between CD and TS.Quote:
Originally Posted by Monica93304
Why do the guys on this site cling so desperately to the idea that they're heterosexual?
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Originally Posted by Acadeca
LOL. Geeeze. You think that this issue is so black or white. Luckily there are some gray areas.
So you're telling me, that I can't feel like a woman because genetically I'm a man. And that my argument isn't valid if I'm attracted to men that prefer to see the fem side of me? There are no set "rules" as far as I know about how big of a difference there is between a CD and a TS. In many cases I would assume, a CD would love to go forward with HRT and even SRS, but can't act upon it. That type of person in my mind could easily be categorized as a TS. But you won't allow it?
To label people is just so petty. Let us be who we are. What's the big deal?
I don't have a problem with a "CD" that has no plans on having HRT or SRS consider themselves "straight" or "lesbian". Who cares?
thats where you are making your mistake....there can be a big difference between cd and ts, or there can be a subtle difference, such as the whole two spirits 3rd gender thing... seeing as you wont know how any individual feels inside then really it should only be up to them to make that call.Quote:
Originally Posted by Acadeca
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Originally Posted by OliviaLB
Enough said. Thank you!!
I guess that is why i cross dressing I just love the way they look so much that I also want to look that good. and making love to a women as a man is one of the most wonderful things I can think of. :)
I like men and women but women were always top for me.then I came here and now seeing a pretty cd excites me more than a gg :)
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Originally Posted by sempervirens
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Originally Posted by Monica93304
I understand a TG wanting to be desired as a woman by a straight man, and not by a gay man who would see her as another gay man (in a dress). I also agree that plumbing is cosmetic.Quote:
Originally Posted by kellycan27
But, is it possible to find a straight man who would want a CD or non-op TS? A man who truly understands that plumbing is cosmetic? Not according to Richard/Alice Novic, M.D., author of "Alice in Genderland". A quote from a page on her site: "And if you think the men you reel in are pure, straight men with no clue, then you’re only fooling yourself—pleasant as that may be." (Quote is near the bottom of page.)
If Alice is correct and if you are not into gay men and you knew that the 'straight' man you were with did not in fact see you purely as a woman, would it dampen the experience?
For me it really isn't a matter of me being into gay men so much as it is gay men being into me. i don't know many gay guys,but the ones that I do know have never expressed a desire to be with me other than to dance or talk,things like that. I can't reall even one instance of an outwardly gay guy approaching me. I rarely hang out in gay or tg venues, and I have never in my life attended any kind of support group that is a part of the LGBT community. I live work, and play in the mainstream, and so far it's been my experience that if a guy is going to approach me, it's always been a str8 guy.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Being that I am pre-op it wouldn't take long for the cat to out of the bag. If I am interested in someone that I meet, I tell them straight away about me. Most of them will back off once they know. Some are eager beavers, and will say right away that they don't care. Those are the ones who are probably in the very least bi-sexual, or maybe even gay. And some may be truly str8, but you'll do for the moment as long as they don't have to "touch" you. After you get burned a few time, you get to a point where you can read guys.
It's not 100%, but you can be pretty accurate. I have gotton fooled a couple of times. Some will lie through their teeth, but that type usually give up after a short time, if they don't get what they are after. The bottom line is that I know that I am not a woman, and I know that he knows I am not a woman,but as long as he's alright with it and I am alright with it, and as long as he treats me with respect and loves me... I can live with that.
Kelly
I think it's possible, but I don't think it's common to date a straight guy. The TGs who have better luck are probably those who fit more in line with preconceived notions of what's a straight relationship; the plumbing isn't right, but you pass well, you're attractive, you're feminine, etc. My dating experience is pretty common save a couple memorable exceptions, but most of the guys I dated were probably gay or bi. That was my read on it, anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Then there's the argument of whether sexuality is clearly defined, or exists on a continuum as we often here say gender does, too. So, maybe none of the guys we date are truly straight, because there's no such thing as a straight man. But that's a cop out of an answer here. I think the continuum idea is true, but the guys I've dated probably leaned more gay than the average bear.
I feel the closest we can come is our own perception; I feel like a woman, I'm with a guy, I'm having a hetero experience. Or, I'm a guy and I feel like I'm with a guy in a dress, I'm having a gay experience. This is just my opinion, but what's really trippy is that you can see two people in an experience, one of whom is having a hetero experience, the other a gay experience.
Yeah, that's not ideal, and I wouldn't feel as validated. That's also reality, lol. I'd imagine it's a very different thing for women who're post-op. There's less of a mental hurdle for the guys.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I may have replied to this thread before but I want to clarify that I am very much attracted to women,however I have fantisized about men.I'd love to have an opportunity to be with a cute/muscular guy as I have dreamed of being with just to see if it is fantasy or reality.I will admit that I have been sexually attracted to cute/hot/sexy/muscular guys.....I'm ready for the experience,I just want the greatest experience.
Come on Alabama,Florida,Mississippi,Georgia boys talk to me,I wanna man to hold me and make me his gurl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bridget jones
U go girl!
I am attracted to women very much so. I could also say that I am totally attracted to the feminine look, whether its a guy under all that or not, doesn't make a difference to me. If it looks like a pretty woman, I'm attracted to her. I would not mind dating a pretty CD or T-Girl. I would treat her with respect, just as I would any other woman I've ever dated. I'd take her to dinner, a movie, and like to sit down and have long talks with her. If it grew from there, great.
I've also fantasized about being with a man as a woman. Not sure how it would be in reality, but it probably will never happen. I pretty sure I'd do it with a TG or CD, but not sure about the man thing. He would have to be smooth, and have some feminine features. He could have muscles, but must have a smooth body.
I know there are some who can't understand why someone could be attracted to men only when dressed, or fantasizing, but it's a true phenomenon that happens. I've seen many on this site say "go ahead and call me bi or gay, but the fact is, my desires are compartmentalized somehow." Now, if someone is open to being called gay, aren't they being open with themselves as to their orientation? None of us understand all of our thoughts and desires, but you know if your gay or not. Spurious desires, fantasies, and thoughts come and go, in and out of our minds. That is the normal function of the mind. Acting on some of those thoughts is also normal. There is, however, a solid self-understanding of who one is most of the time, so you have to take that person's word for it when they say the way things flow for them.
Laura
LOL guess im a lesbian. us girls are far more prettier than guys
It's difficult to find the "right" man. It's not that hard to find guys who are interested, because there are lots of them, and they mostly call themselves straight. However, most of them are just looking for an experience with 'kinky sex,' and a large percentage want me to be the "Top." Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it's not what I or most bi- CD's like to do when we're feminine.
A lot of gay men are into muscles and masculinity, they want to wrestle and grunt and snort and generally be very non-romantic. A large enough to be scary percent of gay men who want "sissies" are in my opinion the dangerous kind who want to put the sissy in handcuffs add ball gags and then let their imaginations go from that point on.
It's hard to find guys who want a CD/TV/TS as a woman to date in a romantic sense. And of that group, not many are "hunks," and when you get older that statement becomes truer and truer.
Apologies for the generalizations.
I'm hetero, so let me state that up front.
On the other hand, it would be wonderful to go out with someone, a friend perhaps, who would treat me like a lady and I could have fun with. I don't mind flirting and so forth, as long as that is as far as it goes.
My ultimate fantasy is to have someone special who would dress "the other way" and we could go as opposites and have fun, then retire later for ... an intimate relationship. But as I am not looking for anyone anymore (I have a daughter to put through college and yes she knows about this side of me), this is as likely to happen as me hitting the Texas Lotto.
But I can dream.
~M
I would say I have never been attracted to men at all. I've also toyed with the idea of dating a guy as a girl, just for the experience. I even went so far as to post a few pics of myself online in a dating forum, just to see if I would get any responses. I left the ad up and forgot about it until the next day. I was astonished at the amount of replies I got. It seems there's a huge subculture of guys who are into TG. I emailed one guy, and was going to even meet, but at the last second I chickened out. The idea of going out dressed with a man excites me. Being in bed with one does not.
I'm not that into men, whether I'm wearing a dress or not.
Then again, I don't like peppers and onions on pizza.....I prefer pepperoni & mushrooms.
I'm freaking out now because my gay & lesbian friends on facebook are gonna outnumber my straight friends at the going rate.
Yes, I'm attracted, and yes, I have acted!
There in fact is a HUGE contingent of men who are attracted to trannies who do not consider themselves to be gay.
Some of them are sweethearts and some are creepy, but they ALL want sex. Shocker, men want sex.
Thanks to 39 years of testosterone I want sex too.
It's a perfect match. ;-)
-Misty
[SIZE=4]Earlier in this post I admitted to doing it and loving it. For me it is the fulfillment of why I dress. It gives my dressing a purpose. The feeling and expectation of getting ready for a date dressed en-fem is overwhelming. It begins in the shower when I start shaving my legs and underarms. As I put on my bra and panties I feel SOOOOO feminine and it just gets better from there. Yes, the expectation of what could eventually follow is scary at first but, once you have done it you'll find you like it because you feel so girlie. I don't believe that makes me gay, I just believe my feminine side has come into fulfillment.:daydreaming:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Lilly[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Very well put the same goes for me I do it and I love it as well[/SIZE] :hugs:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly44B
Well... I KNOW I am at least bi. Never been w/a guy who was in drab and only one experience with a TGirl.
That said, I would LOVE to try more with a CD/TG.
:daydreaming:
Yep. Alot of men are attracted to CD but dont like social problems that come with dating one. Someday when it becomes aceptable all men will be after you ladiesQuote:
Originally Posted by Misty is Kindafem
Lilly I am glad you like men to make you feel feminine and girly. That is what us men were born to do. Take care of our ladies and romance them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly44B
Well said: I often told my honey that if I were in fact a woman I'd no doubt be a Lesbian. The truth is (with a few exceptions) I can barely tolerate most od the guys I know!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura_Stephens
Yup I have! and I must say, having a strong masculine man wrap his arms around you is just fantastic!:daydreaming:
I think I would try it..I mean what is the point of dressingnand trying to me like a woman if we can t do what they do. We should at least try dating don't yall think girls? Hey can someone explains this website to me. I mean how do I add friends of talk to other members?PLEASE HElP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa: See the Rules/FAQ link in the menu at the top of the page.