Hi Calvin, welcome to the forum! To twist a line from a favorite movie, "A million girls would kill for your SO!"
I'm looking forward to hearing more from you!
Eryn
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Hi Calvin, welcome to the forum! To twist a line from a favorite movie, "A million girls would kill for your SO!"
I'm looking forward to hearing more from you!
Eryn
Well, hello Calvin! No femme name yet? :battingeyelashes: No matter. It's great that you joined. I hope you don't mind that I offered myself up for Hayley to unload on during this whole "crisis" week. She's a treasure, and I wish you both long happiness and a healthy relationship with one another. I appreciate that you see the great pains she took to try and come to grips with this, rather than just go off the deep end like so many women in her place might do. And who can blame them? It is truly a shock for some to find out about our little diversion.
Giver her a hug, and let her know I was thinking about both of you. Cheers!
Marla
When I first joined the forum I went by JohnH, and then I changed it to JohannaH. I guess when the estrogen I'm taking does its work on me I will go by Johanna in real life. My middle name is Calvin.Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
Johanna
So Calvin H is that name a blend of John Calvin, a 16th-century French Reformation theologian, and Thomas Hobbes, a 17th-century English political philosopher?
A.K.A Calvin and Hobbes :heehee:
As they say "Well played Waldo" ;)
Stay in touch
Vanessa
Eryn - Thank you!
Marla - I do, it's Callie, lol. You've been amazing, thank you so much for everything, we owe you big time!
Johanna - Nice to meet you!
Vanessa - Ahh, you got me ;-)
Well then, Callie, I'm glad you're here. And I accept credit cards, cash, and checks! LOL
Haha.. and we'll only pay in the form of drinks and dinner with us ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
God, this thread has been so eye opening. Wow! I knew Britnee for over a year before he shared with me. I had shared all my sexual experimentation and she had been supportive but not "in to" some of the things that I was into. I expressed how much that hurt me when she did that and she was instantly sorry and upset that she hurt me. It depends on what mind set she's in.
I'm so glad you both worked through this. I can only imagine finding out like that. That would be so tough especially if you have trust issues from a previous occurrence. This thread was so so helpful to me. Thank you so much sharing. That is very brave of you both, to me.
Hmm....that might be a while. I don't get out to New Hampshire or Massachusetts all that often. So far....I've never been! But maybe one day...we'll see!Quote:
Originally Posted by Callie
In that case, I'll give a proper welcome to Callie by her proper name!
If you would like to change it on the forum I'm sure that one of the moderators would be happy to help you!
Eryn
Welcome to both of you. I have been watching this thread and hoping for an update and a happy ending. You are lucky to have each other.
Welcome Callie you are very foutunate to have each other. Fantastic thread, best of luck to you both.
Thank you, thank you for suck a wonderful post.
You have made me feel so much better...if only for tonight :)
Meghan
Glad to see that things are working out. Good luck to you both and welcome!
Elle - Thank you, and good to meet you
Eryn - I'll look into it, thanks!
Kathy - Thank you, we're working towards that happy ending
Subwrx - I really am!
Meghan - Glad we could make you smile, feel free to drop us a line if you'd like to talk
Amanda - Thank you so much!
I agrees with TGMarla; " . . . crossdressing is a lousy reason to destroy an otherwise perfectly good relationship. You two have not been together long. He only hid this from you because he felt that it was likely that you'd leave him if you found out. The fact that instead of packing up and leaving, you came here to learn and try to understand, says that you're a woman of greater depth than many. I applaud you for doing so. If you accept this part of him, he'll try to find his boundaries with you. You may find that you don't want to be around it, or you may find that it increases and enhances your sex life. You need to find what level you are comfortable with, and he needs to abide by it. I wish you both well. Good luck!
Could this be a first? A gg and then her SO joining crossdressers on the same thread??? :eek: Has anyone seen that before? Oh, and welcome to you both! :)
Anonymous - Thank you, that's where we are now, finding where we are going to keep our boundaries. I am truly lucky to have a girl like Hayley in my life!
Kristina - LOL, it does sound weird doesn't it! Thanks for the welcome.
Hello Calvin and Inshock.
Communication. You're both reaping the benefits of going deep, but only after going through the pain of letting go of fear and shame.
I hope you both are able to enjoy the joy that the newly-found depths of your relationship has arrived at.
Communication. So many of us CD'ers never ever reach the level of depth & honesty you two are now at. Try living your entire life w/o your SO knowing about that femme part of your life! Many of have...and are. It sucks because it's so lonely.
Communiction. Dive in & enjoy the togetherness and let the loneliness and fears be only in life's rear view mirror! :)
Michelle - you're right, we're finding out first hand the importance and benefits of having good communication between us
Hey ladies! I'm not "in shock" anymore, so I had my name changed. (Thank you Reine!) I'll give you guys an update later, but I just wanted to say one thing to you.
I get it!!
The first thing most of you told me when I asked why you dress is that women's clothing just "feels nice." Well, I get it. Quick story, yesterday Calvin and I were watching hockey and he was wearing his team's jersey. My God, that thing was rough! Holy crap! I must have lost five layers of skin off my hand just from rubbing his back when my arm was around him...haha. So, you're right. Chick clothes feel awesome.
This thread is amazing!
I'm very glad that both of you managed to overcome these problems in the end! You are both extremely lucky people and a lovely couple, I wish you all the best :)
Hailey, I'm very happy for you and glad that you came in terms with this whole thing! And Calvin, you are a very lucky guy (and a very cute girl :) )
Big hug to both of you
There are times on this forum where we might not agree, and sometimes it really does get a bit carried away.
I think this thread is some of the best of who we are and what can be done collectively, and now we have two more wonderful people to help us to continue!
Welcome Haley and Callie! May this sometimes crazy lifestyle help the two of you to be terrifically close for a very long time!
tina
I congratulate your courage for posting in this forum. You have received many long and detail responses, which indicate a real concern for you. I hope you success in obtaining a better understanding, from members of this website, on this life style. I still hope this forum will work openly towards that objective.
calvin h, you look amazing.love the top ur wearing
Hayley and Callie, I do so much like a happy ending!
In the future there will be times when things are not so delightfully rosy as they are now (we call this the Pink Fog) When that happens please remember back to this time and the fact that your best strength is communication. You can get through anything as long as you're both willing to talk it through.
Hugs, Eryn
You are welcome...but we still want a treat... we are just 12 of us!Quote:
Originally Posted by HayleyGG
:battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes::):D:battingey elashes::devil::battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes ::daydreaming::battingeyelashes::sad::straightface :
It's not so much a happy ending as it is a new beginning for us. We're still in the process of learning what makes the other tick, enjoying the best parts and working to correct the not-so-good times.
On a more personal note, the Callie side of me is excited about some of the things we will be trying together, and seeing where we're going to be setting our boundaries :-)
Man....I just love this!
And hockey fans, to boot!
LOL, we're shattering some stereotypes eh? ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
I wish I had an answer for you Hayley. I too feel like a freak sometimes and wish I could stop cross dressing. As a fellow cd'er I can understand why he didn't tell you because I felt the same way when my wife of seven years found out about me. I think that when you find someone you love, your willing to hide this part of yourself to keep that person; even though you can't stop dressing. Hayley please know there are many like "us" in the world, and you can have a life with this person. He will still be a normal man in everyday life; its just that when there is a sale on women's clothing, he may want to go shopping with you :)
Hello again. I just thought I'd check in. Even though I don't post every day, I do check this thread quite frequently during the day because you're all so amazing and I love to read what you write.
As far as an update, things have been going very well. After the initial "crisis week" (as Marla called it :) ) was over, we slipped right back into being us again...only it was tangibly different. I don't know if he feels the same, but I certainly felt it. The very first day of the awkwardness being completely gone and we were back to "us" again, we were both randomly, freely sharing embarrassing things about our past to each other over breakfast without any hesitation whatsoever, some of which had never been told to another human being before then. Neither of us judged, we just laughed together about what we shared.
Since then, we've talked about his crossdressing openly and it just comes out as natural conversation, and I don't think it's awkward for either of us at this point. We make jokes about it, talk about clothes together, talk about how messed up our "kids" will be between the two of us...it's been incredible. I feel like there's been a giant wall between us that has been destroyed. I think it's either one of two things: either because he's had this huge weight lifted off of him now that the truth is out and he doesn't have to hide any part of him from me now, he's able to freely communicate with me because he knows how accepting I am and that I won't judge him (I mean...I know about this, what the hell else could he be hiding worse than this? haha), or it's because now that I know about his "deep, dark secret," we're closer because I know the "scariest" parts of him, know that he's probably not hiding anything else from me, and that we can move forward completely openly and honestly...because perhaps we both felt a subliminal strain, resistance, or resentment because we both subconsciously knew that there wasn't complete honesty between us. Who knows?
Either way, it's been pretty great. I never mentioned this, but we used to fight a LOT. Since this has happened, our disagreements have minimized greatly, and I think it's because we're at the bare bones, completely naked and honest base of our relationship. All the cards are on the table, so now we can move forward without holding anything back. I look forward to the future, as he also mentioned, and this journey has only made us stronger. Plus, we both made a bunch of new, amazing friends. I wish we could all get together and just hug each other...haha...because you all already have a special place in my heart just in the short time we've known each other. There aren't enough hours in the day to reply personally to all of you..haha..but we're both trying our best to address everyone. We want you to know that each of your voices have been heard, no one was looked over, and we've taken all of your advice to heart. Again, we can't thank you enough.
Random replies:
I think you're right. I must admit that when I first found out, I did question whether or not I could be with him because of it, but that's only because I had no idea that this breed of straight males existed, which was my own ignorance. Once I came here and everyone explained everything to me, I realized that it doesn't affect our relationship, and that I don't consider it a "lie." My original thoughts were that he "lied" to me, but after hearing from everyone here, my thoughts morphed into what you just said-that he probably didn't tell me out of fear of losing me. I really hope that's the case, and if it is, I'm completely flattered. If someone is willing to live with their internal guilt and shame because they think there might be a chance that they'll lose me, that's pretty awesome. Little did he know, I'll always accept him for whatever/whoever he is. <3Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaS
This is why I love you.Quote:
Originally Posted by CalvinH
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Originally Posted by anonymousinmaryland
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Originally Posted by TGMarla
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Originally Posted by Eryn
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Originally Posted by Jorja
Thank you all so much for these little snippets of support for me. I really do try to be a decent person and a good girlfriend, and you've all really made me feel like I did the best I could and that I'm actually worth being with. The truth is, we're both very lucky to have each other...because he does a lot for me, too...and I'd do anything to make him happy.
:c9: