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I used to be active in the transgender support groups in Chicago and have met a lot of us. As a result of that, my experience is that there are a lot of people in the community who are bi, so you've got lots of company. :)
Oh yeah, baby, we all just dream of meeting a real man like you. :lol2::lol::lol2::lol::lol2::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Carol
Shari,
I'm in the exact same position as you. I struggled with that question for many years. I like to tell my friends that I'm bi-curious and tell myself that I'm bisexual. Bisexual sounds more committed more in to it. That with which we call ourselves makes us lean towards sterotypes. When you tell someone what kind of person you are you are telling them what you think that title means.
When people think of a bisexual, they think of someone who is actively having sex with males and females at the present moment . And because of that
if you do not fit this narrow description you are just bi-curious. People have forgotten the meaning of these titles. Like the fact that one of them is not actually a title. Bi-curiosity is just a curiosity for mere moments. And the moment that that curiosity becomes sexually pleasurable for you is the moment that you become a bisexual person. After that, it is simply a matter of your degree of bisexuality.
I am bi too but like others i only want a man when i am dressed but i will check out a man anytime without him noticing. My wife is also bi.
This describes me precisely as well. Except every time I fantasize about being with a man, it's as a woman rather than a man dressed as a woman.
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Originally Posted by Veronica Electronica
Wow, interesting stuff! I'd come to terms that I was at least bi-curious a good while back. I've had a couple awkward experiences with other CD's while dressed. I liked it, but it never went very far. I've wanted to experiment more but haven't really had the chance.
I definitely like GG's. A lot :) That is my main preference. With that said, CD's turn me on a lot too. It was mentioned earlier that maybe that's more fetish than being Bi? I dunno. I could absolutely be with a CD while I was still my normal male self. I prefer for both of us to be dressed though. Regular guys don't do anything for me. I don't even pay attention to them in public generally where as I get whip lash from checking out girls regularly :p Of course half the time I'm checking out what they're wearing as much as I am them!
So, does that place me Bi, a fetishist, a CD lesbian, or something else?
Not sure it matters in the end, but it is interesting to see the cross section that we have here and how people see themselves.
Paulette, I seriously doubt any cares if you are bi or gay or straight. The forum is for crossdressers not corssdressers-with-a-sexual-preference. While most crossdressers are straight, bi and gay will run will be represented here as in the overall population. Welcome.
I guess I'm bi. I can't say definitively because I am committed to my wife.
Paulette
I am also bi and I totally agree with your posting. I am here mainly for the support and if more comes of it great. I would love to chat with you or others about this.
Dude, you are whacked out. You haven't a clue what crossdressing is or what is means to the man who does it. Crossdressing is completely unrelated to any sexuality. It is an expression of personality, not sexuality. As a straight, monogamous, married man, I can state with certainty you are wrong. Crossdressers are straight, or gay, or bi or whatever, in equal percentages as they are in the general population. Nothing more. Read a book, go to Wikipedia or get a clue. You are offensive.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
I am very definitely bi. I discovered my bisexuality at the same time I discovered crossdressing, and the two are linked in me. I used to say that I am attracted to men as a woman, and to women as a man, but on closer inspection it is a lot more complicated than that. I am attracted to men for sex, and women for relationships. I am the passive partner when dressed, regardless of the sex or gender of the person I am with. I doubt that I could be the active partner with a man, no matter how I was dressed (or undressed). I would like to do more exploring of being the active partner, while dressed, with women or TGs.
I have found that many TGs are bi, probably in a larger proportion than the general public. One may call oneself hetero, but if one is presenting as female and being with a woman, it sure looks bi to me.
Ruthie
I'm glad someone started this thread. It feels good to know so many CDs have the same, or similar, attraction to men that I do. And maybe bi OR pan would be the right definition of my orientation, but I'm a vague constantly evolving person, so maybe I could just say I'm un-strait...
Hi Paulette,
Although I've never been with a guy I have always fantasised about them no matter how I'm dressed even when with my so. I have kind of put myself out there to guys I've had crushes on but it hasn't happened for me yet, but never en femme. That would come after. I think that would complete the woman in me.
Keri
i was on this italian cruise ship, we hit some rocks and the ship rolled on its side. as some tripped and fell into lifeboats, i must of landed on a guy...lol i love women and totally in love my GF. i am not attracted to men or other CD's. i do not even want relations with my GF when dressed. BUT, and a big BUT, when dressed i seem to prefer men. don't know if its part of the fantasy or the ultimate validation. but this is when my "hetroflexible" or my "bi-curious" appears. i guess its kinda like being slightly pregnant...
And you quite obviously need to get a clue :rolleyes: We await your next stupid thread....Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
I started out thinking I was straight, but the more I dressed, the more I thought about being with a man. Does it count as being straight if I only have sex with men when I'm in girl mode?
Maybe imagining yourself as a woman makes it "okay" to be attracted to guys, I mean for your entire life society has been actively preaching that men go with women and you're broken/evil if you think otherwise.
Unless more CDs are actually TS, but I imagine that's going to be pretty rare.
I label myself BI because of the possibility to be attracted to guys, it's rare but saying I'm "straight" would not be very true.
Likewise, coming out as gay wouldn't make me less attracted to women and more attracted to men.
I don't have the resources or space/privacy to dress atm so I've left CD out of my equations.
It does get easier if I imagine myself as female though, but my dreams are still 99% male/male.
I consider myself hetro because when I’m in guy mode I think about girls. I also consider myself hetro because when I’m dressed I think about guys. When dressed I embrace my female side and just consider my thoughts towards men as normal. I don’t think I would ever label myself or think twice if I acted one way or another.
I identify as Hetro, BUT when I'm dressed pretty with a cute wig, pretty makeup and jewlery.
Wearing a FEMININE dress or skirt and blouse. Underneath having on pretty pastel, lacy panties, a control padded hip and butt padded panty. A cute lacy underwire Bra that matches my LLPG whitch has garters that hold up my stockings and the most FEMININE, Girly, nylon slip that has lots of pretty lace coming up from the hem.
After all of this, I sometimes pretend that I'm with a cute guy who has his arm around me and holds me close. I'm just so submissive and put my head on his sholder. He lifts my chin off his sholder and tastes my lipstick as his hand carresses my nylon covered legs and works it way up my skirt toying with the garters of my Girdle.
I am Bigaystraightual. Anybody got
a problem with that ? Hehe
same here but never been out as latanya. but i see myself as hetero! when I'm male I am only interested in women. but if i ventured out as latnaya i would want to be perceived as a woman and i guess everyting that goes along with that!
I'm near 100% female identified, have no desire to be with a male, only girls. By girls I mean GG girls and/or other M2F TG girls who are likewise really truly female identified, on the 'inside'. I don't consider the latter as being 'bi' cause sex begins n ends in the mind. Two female minds having sex is lesbianism not bisexuality even tho, paradoxically, we have male bods. Oh well...shit happens eh. :battingeyelashes:
Count me as anothet pansexual. I have strong preferences for m2f transgenders but can date and be intimate with cismen, ciswomen and ftm transgenders in either mode as well.
I'm one of the "oddballs" in that I'm truly genderblind and in such I fail to see what the big deal is in terms of gender. Love people, not gender I say. But if it's not for you, more power to you and I'm in no position to judge or say otherwise at all.
I will say that I see myself as a woman in any case, therefore what is considered "straight" sex is kind of backwards from what my anatomy would suggest.
I am not sure about this anymore, been thinking on it (and have edited my response), previously I was happy to accept the 'Bi label' but now I am not so sure. The occassional thought doesnt necesarrily make me that way. Perhaps its more a curiosity of something taboo/forbidden and less of an action I would actually carry out.
there was an article recently in the nytimes about nixon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
What is your take on Cynthia (?) Nixon [from sex in the city program]who now has a female lover who now has a baby from a male or donor? She seems to think that YOU CAN make a choice. She seems to think one can SWITCH ON gay.
No. It means that you can't control who you will feel attracted to. I'm hetero and you could put 30 guys in a lineup in front of me. I'd be attracted to a few more than most, and I'd likely fall in love with only one. Do I "pick" which person I'm attracted to? I don't think so. It just happens based on things that are beyond our ability to measure or rationalize.Quote:
Originally Posted by busker
If someone has the ability to be bi, they don't pick and choose who they become attracted to either. Granted they're bi, but it doesn't mean they can be in a relationship with every Tom, Dick, Harry, Jane, Suzy, or Flo that comes along. :p
F List actress stirrs the biggest pot for attention, it works.Quote:
Originally Posted by busker
Sorry, if you're attracted to the same gender you can't call yourself straight. Or you can, but expect people who know better to call you out. :)
I am attracted to people who are sweet, gentle and intelligent. I guess that makes me sweetsexual.
Yes Iam Bi I have had sex with men while dressed and not dressed well not like loving bed room stuff just quick wam bam thank you sir type stuff. I really love being dressed while doing it.
I think you can find acceptance in your sexuality, but there are no on/off switches. Gay people have been saying this for years. We have finally been taken seriously by society when we say that this is not a choice...it's just who we are. I'm sure some CDs and TGs can relate in that statement. Back when it was viewed as being a choice and having an on/off switch, we were mentally insane and receiving electroshock therapy.Quote:
Originally Posted by busker
I will never perceive my sexuality as a choice. I can accept that people admit to their sexuality late in life, but I do believe it was there all along. I also will maintain that there is no off switch...no change in clothing will change sexuality.
I raised these views (actually from a different thread) on a LGBT meet and it was a sh*t storm. It's a pretty powerful thing that the majority of us hold on to that this is not a choice and does not go away. I had actually never heard of people claiming to be bisexual only when donning certain clothing items until I came to this site.
I'm not sure what that should tell you... But, if sexuality continues to bother you, I'd join my local LGBT group. If you told them you only have fantasies of men when you are dressed as a woman and sent actually attracted to men otherwise, they might call you a fetishist. They might also call you a fetishist if you say you are into CDs only when they are dressed and only attracted to TSs if they ate pre-op. But, at least you'd meet more people and maybe discover more about yourself. Heck, you may realize deep down you are flamingly gay and in denial....in that case, just get on the bus. My lesbian friend is waiting like a wolf because she thinks I'm a lesbian and not bi, but I keep disappointing her. Either way, they are good people and can answer your questions.
Under the right circumstances I'd totally fool around with another CD. She'd have to be a pretty hot one, though... So I guess that makes me bi-curious?
Sexuality is most definitely NOT a choice. I didn't choose to be pansexual any more than I chose to be born white. It just happened. Rather than spend the rest of my life in denial, I learned to just accept it and with enough time, I will even learn to embrace it.
To those that think there is an on/off switch to it, sorry but you're deceiving yourselves. Learn to love whomever you want, but most importantly, learn to love and accept yourself first. I, like shenanigans, have never heard of people being attracted to same sex when dressed (if we are going by birth anatomy. Apologies if this comes off as offensive), so it's something I'd honestly like to learn more about, since I'd like to learn more about both gender and sexuality
Is it a case of where you are legitmately only interested in men when dressed, or is it a case of where your inhibitions to it are lowered and find yourself more accepting of the idea when you can express femininity?
If the latter, then it strikes me as a form of denial. One where it's ok to like men because you are a girl and it becomes "straight sex". In that scenario it's wanting to reap the benefits of m2m intimacy, but without negative societal stigma attached to it. And in no way am I judging that, but am merely trying to better understand the how and why of it, as well as explain how it can strike an LGB as odd.
You took the words right out my mouth. Exactly. A lot of the females that like CD are BI. Many women that identify as hetero prefer men, not CDsQuote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
You hit the nail on the head. Finally somebody who gets it. Loving a man makes a CD into a complete woman. Taking care of a man in the bedroom and being treated like a lady is the must fulfilling and feminine experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by RuthieER
Meh that's not what I said really. Many (if not most) bi women I know aren't really interested in CDs. The whole "best of both worlds" thing doesn't really work because bi people like women and they like men. The mixed genitalia thing I think is something different all together. But, there Are bi women that like CDs...obviously, I'm one of them. But, I do view my SO (Cami) as a woman when dressed. The fact my SO looks like an attractive woman is what attracts me. So, I can see a lot of bi women being okay with CDing. But, I don't think being bi automatically equals attraction to CDs. On a similar note, I DO know a few straight women into CDing. It's more of a domination/fetish thing for them...they aren't really attracted to women, but do find the change exciting and enjoy being in the dominant role. These women are straight with a kink. This is why I say CDs that limit themselves to bi GGs are doing themselves a disservice. A bi GG may be open to it, and she might not. A straight GG might be into and she might not. It all depends. A bi girl might really get into it if the CD looks enough like a woman. (Many lesbian couples use assisting devices, so a CD "something extra" isn't really That off putting to women interested in women...but, it could be off putting to some...you never know). Likewise, a straight girl might get into it because it's taboo and fun and offers flexibility that a "normal" sex life would not. People are interesting...and, surprise the Hell out of me every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
I'd say most lesbians disagree that making love to a man makes you into a complete woman. I'd also argue that the most feminine experience would be a lesbian experience. But, hey, what do I know? I was just born a woman and love women. I some how have some natal instincts on how a lady wants to be treated. You're probably right though Men know how women want to be treated...that's why they do so well at it and why women are crying to Cosmo about unfulfilling sexual relationships and pre-mature ejaculation. But, I'm probably highly biased. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Lots of CDs in past research have declared themselves heterosexual, but to me the whole point of forums like this is to help us cope with the fact that everybody's different.
I believe I am bisexual in orientation, though I've never had any experiences with men. My wife regards herself as bisexual and similarly has never had any experiences with women. So it sounds like Shananigans' experience is very similar to hers.
It seems to be trendy to say "a man is the ultimate femme accessory". Given that in other cultures and at other times (especially when less sex-obsessed religions held sway over public mores) bisexuality was more commonly acknowledged and expressed, I wonder whether CDs who are attracted to men while en femme are in fact simply expressing a natural inbuilt desire that they've been conditioned to suppress while en homme.
In short, we are all bisexual. There's no such thing as straight. ;)
At least for me this is pretty accurate, I can still find some guys attractive normally but the reduction of inhibitions makes it 1000x easier.Quote:
Originally Posted by JessicaM1985
I still find women more attractive generally though, but being a passive bi cd is going to be in "needle in a haystack" territory.
I'd also like to thank that actress for selling us out in exchange for her name in the news.
Nope, that certainly won't give bigots more ammo!
Bi girls are generally more open to Cds. However, straight women by large prefer a masculine type man if we speak in generalQuote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
Ok, this may be a tough one. I would call myself bisexual also. But I have no attraction to regular guys. I do have an attraction to other crossdressers when they are en femme but not in the genetic male role. I would like to experience life as a female, to be able to live the role of a female and experience love from a female perspective. Yet when it comes down to it, I am still ok with myself as a male. I know confusing.
Sean, I've gotta say ... you're learning! :D It's just so nice to see you use the word "generally" instead of "all". lolQuote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
But just so you know, remember all the non-macho guys in your high school? The book-worms, nerds, all the guys who didn't play sports? Well, they all found women to marry and have kids with too. This means there are plenty of women who love non-stereotypical, non-macho guys. There's a big world out there with lots and lots of different types of people. :)
If we're speaking about masculine "macho" men in general, well, most people don't like them because they're arogant jerks. Just listen to them when they're watching a football game or listen to their misogynistic comments when an attractive woman walks by them. Uber male bravado, perhaps, showing off for the pals, could be, but still pretty rude and, dare I say, antisocial.
God, I just love nerdy guys. I apparently love computer scientists, because the last 3 guys I dated were in that field. It really is too much of a sweeping statement to say women just want "macho men." I'd take smart a$$, nerdy guys any day of the week. I do notice that the girls that really go for the stereotypical, macho, football player guys tend to be women that aren't...the brightest crayons in the box. (?) I do think people pair based on similar intellects and interests, so I think I tend to be drawn to nerdy guys because I am also a nerd. Attraction only goes so far on a purely physical perspective.
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Originally Posted by ReineD
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Originally Posted by Shananigans
I love nerdy guys too I mean who else am I gonna have work on my computer ** giggles ***
Bruni has an article in today's TIMES and now it seems that she admits to Bi but doesn't like the term. If I understood your reply, there is only lesbian, bi or straight. She is obviously not straight so is this just semantic games she is playing and not just a label-hater? and, if she is in a long term relationship with a woman, shouldn't she consider herself a lesbian?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/op...or-not.html?hp
there is a nice thing about being old and having one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. I know what I am, and I won't have to be confused about what other people are for very much longer.
I read the article. Cynthia Nixon did say that for her, homosexuality is a choice. And I agree with the article's author: she has a right to her opinion.Quote:
Originally Posted by busker
If I were bi like Cynthia Nixon, I would also say that I have the ability to choose between being in a relationship with a man or a woman, since I am attracted to either one. My attraction to a person would not be influenced by their gender. After having been married to a man for 15 years and now engaged to be married to a woman, Cynthia can hardly say she is hetero. Even if she "chooses" to be hetero, her history proves that she is not. Her gendered sexual preference is flexible. A hetero person's is not.
Likewise, this does not mean that Cynthia could be attracted to every woman on this planet, or every man. She will be attracted to some people more than others and in this, she also has no choice.
Im new here and to all of this but i know for sure if i said that to any girls i know id prob get slapped or kicked in the balls! come on like do you really think that?Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
glad someone else noticed this, I wonder is Mr Muscle is talking from experience???Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Taking care of a man in the bedroom and being treated like a lady is the must fulfilling and feminine experience.
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Originally Posted by Willow
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Originally Posted by Willow
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Originally Posted by Nigella
I do. I have been happily married for 25+ years to a woman I love but can understand what seanmuscle is referring to. To me it would be taking the need of crossdressing to the highest degree to know what it feels like to be a woman. Eight or nine years ago, after many drinks at a work party (150+ guests), I let my defenses down and quietly revealed this very thought/desire to a visiting female co-worker (who would be flying back to the east coast the following morning.) Instead of slapping me or kicking me in the balls she told me she totally understood my feelings and asked if I knew where to go (GLBT) where I could talk to someone about it.
Maybe I'm missing something here but I think Mr. Muscle was being genuine and honest.
Gianna
I have to consider myself as bi-curious. I want to say I'm straight but if I want to have sex with a woman when en drab and then I want to have sex still with a woman en femme then I am probably not straight. So wierd might work too. I am not attracted to men. But I am attracted to femininity and girly. I will not however act on my curiousity and do not want any attention paid to me. Well maybe from women! So Bi - Curious I believe.
Contessa Marie
I am bi and loving it.