The Ghosts of Coming Out Past
Georgi I appreciate your post it’s a cautionary tale to those just starting down our path. There are many lessons to be learned from this thread.
I haven't posted much lately but this one is just too meaningful on a personal level to pass up. To expand on Sara Jessica's analogy this thread isn't just a car wreck that you can't help but look at. Its one of those car wrecks that you drive by and see yourself sitting in the driver’s seat.
I am truly sorry for both you and your wife. I will pray for both of you and I am sure things with “work out” for the best. Unfortunately, at this point we can’t define what “work out” looks like. I wish I could give you a road map to get to the resolution you want but the one truth in all of these posts is that none of us know how to get there.
Less than 6 months ago I was in your shoes. I came out to my bride and love of my life after 15 years and yes I used a letter that I read to her with tears in my eyes, because a teleprompter was not available. I didn’t want to miss any key points at that emotional moment. Her initial reaction was shock and then anger. Wow, what anger, but that subsided as I shared with her how much she meant to me and as we spent numerous nights working through issues that neither of us understood. We are not out of the woods and everyday is filled with challenges and issues, but I know things will “work out” and I don’t regret coming out no matter how God eventually defines “work out”.
Coming out isn’t all roses, rainbows, and singing birds especially for us that fought this issue for so long hoping that it one day would go away. It has been said in this thread once the Genie is out of the bottle you are stuck with Barbra Eden living in your life forever. I have discovered that the person you just came out to will never look at you the same way again. They may or may not accept who you are and they are sure to feel betrayed. Acceptance and trust will need to be developed and rebuilt and this could take a lifetime.
Lessons learned from us Ghosts of Coming Out Past:
- Come out to the one you love before you get married.
- Coming out after marriage will have consequences sometimes significant.
- Once you come out the closet door the locks and there is no going back in.
- Teleprompters are not suitable for use during your coming out discussion with your spouse.
I wish you and any of the other folks on this board that are wrestling with this the best of luck. :hugs:
Georgi, I sincerely hope u 2 can work this out!
However, if and when u DON'T, and if u live in SoCal, I've got a terrific divorce attorney for u!:brolleyes: