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I have not dressed to "pass" in over a decade. I wear articles of women's clothing becauce I like them or they are comfortable. I try to look nice, and often look better than others I see. Admittedly, my styles is mostly androgynous (flats w/jeans, etc.). It only matters that you are comfortable with yourself. I also feel that by being a bit obvious I may give others who see me encouragement to be more bold. I have not had a bad experience yet.
Like most of us, I would not pass as a female in public. However, that doesn't stop me from wearing fem jeans, shorts, tops and some eye makeup/light lipstick along with shaved legs and painted toe nails......:battingeyelashes:
I never pass, but often go out. Tonight it was a little cool, so I wore a turtleneck with a necklace on the outside, knee-length pencil skirt & pantyhose, leather ballet flats, canvas purse. And handlebar mustache. I got a few odd looks, didn't pay much attention. Sat on the terrace at the restaurant, shaded by vines, watched a DVD on my MacBook, and enjoyed dinner. Age-appropriate fashion, something any respectable woman my age might wear. Except for the handlebar.
Just out of curiosity, Lainie, why do you keep the mustache? :hugs:
At the risk of saying something politically incorrect and perhaps offending some people - and considering how high some of us have set this mythical "passing" bar - how "passable" based on those standards were GG's like Julia Child, Janet Reno, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Susan Boyle, and Bea Arthur, among others?
I really wish society was more accepting of gender mixing. In a perfect world, men could wear dresses and not care how passable they were (and wear mustaches with it, too). They'd only worry about passing if they personally wanted to.
Do you think it's likely that as transgendered people get more rights, that crossdressers will too? Rights for crossdressers seem to lag behind - ie work codes are modified for transgendered but not for crossdressers. I'm well aware of why this has taken place, but I'd still like to society move more towards general acceptance.
Yes - my thoughts exactly. The moment I stopped worrying about what anyone else (other than my wife) thought was the moment I entered a very happy place. I know I don't "pass" but I also know that I feel very fulfilled whilst hitting the busy shopping mall for a few hours. I try to blend in as much as I can, and smile a lot. I get a lot of smiles back, and a few :eek: as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara Jessica
Tash :)
So much of the stress I now associate with cross dressing (I was never stressed before) centers on whether or not I could potentially pass in public. I'm still not sure whether I could or not, but I figure I should stop worrying so much about it. I'll never know until I try. My BDD issues will not allow me to ascertain whether I could or not until I actually try, to be honest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Um... I think that's just proof that the reptilians can pass for human... sorta. :devil:
Like many others here, I will probably never pass fully. However, I do think that we should carry ourselves in a certain way. Sometimes some cd's may go out and give a bad name to others. I understand you're living out your fantasy, but some of us are simply trying to be accepted to do the thing we love, dress. We all started dressing behind closed doors. I know i dressed behind closed door for years, before I ventured out, and I must say it was amazing. However, I carried myself as a respectable female. I try to dress in age and size appropiate outfits. I understand to each their own but we must think about ourselves as a group. Lets not spoil it for the next girl that wants to venture out...:)
Dack, when you see that laws are for transgendered, that includes crossdressers as they fall under the transgendered umbrella. So when you see cities passing anti-discrimination laws against TGs than CDs are covered too.Quote:
Originally Posted by dack
The person that the op is describing is my Hero.......
Love, Ericka
eeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr no. I look like a 6 foot pitbull in a dress - i'd love to go out and blend in but i'd end up being smacked - i just couldn't explain that one away.
However, if you feel you could blend in then i guess go for it.
Christine, try passing as yourself. It works for me. Don't worry so much about being read and enjoy being who you are. Passing is such an overrated concept.Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine1954
I know it's hard not to make fun about other crossdresser who you see that aren't quite getting it right yet. Look at it this way: It takes a lot of courage to walk out in public like that. So give the lady some credit for that. High heels take a while to learn. It's like walking a tight rope. It takes a lot of practice to master. Not everybody can do it. Ask any young lady who just started wearing high heels. They know.
My sentiments exactly, thank you for putting them so eloquently.Quote:
Originally Posted by Farrah
Christine
I know I can never pass for a woman. I'm six foot and two hundred pounds. The best I can do is to take a walk at night or go for a drive. I dress tastefully for my age. I love dresses and heels, although I recently purchased a pair of flats for walking on concrete. Those shoes with the narrow heels make a lot of noise in the evening. I do not want to attract any attention. When I was a lot younger and many pounds lighter I ventured out on several Halloweens. I bought something in a Safeway which drew cat calls from an obnoxious male. On another Halloween I went into a doughnut shop and received a nice compliment from the female cashier. Even though my city and state have favorable laws for cross dressers, there is no guarantee to safety with adolescent males and other idiots. Also, I do not want to embarrass my wife and family if a neighbor recognizes me in or out of my car. Someday I hope to get up the 'balls' to hide them and attend a gathering of cross-dressers. Someday!!!
For those of you that feel you can mingle freely without any recriminations from those around you, my bonnet is off to you!
Geeee, that's a lot of answers. I am focusing more on the original question and what's behind Christine's thought. I very much tend to emphasize passability in order to gain respect, I believe that my own rendition of what shall be deemed appropriate stands from insecurities and shame.
It is rather obvious, when passable, need to face ridicule and laughter is diminished to mere spec of dust and thus fulfill the objective of being dressed as a woman to be one accepted by society at large, not because they are ok with transgenderism, but because they see her as genetic woman.
The conclusion, I feel, brings on another set of questions. This appropriateness of image will be seen differently by different groups of transgender people. I for once want to envelope my entire being in femininity so I can see a true image of a woman I believe to be my entire life. For me passability is of utmost importance and brings on fulfillment curing dysphoric nature of my transgenderism.
I can only imagine that for simple crossdresser, who doesn't yet realize deeper disconnect between body and mind such transformation doesn't seem like the only viable option and near passability is ok. Then there are some others who feel the right to express their inner fem through what ever means possible even they do not pass at all, and kudos to those girls because it takes tremendous guts to do such.
Is it right then to be you, well, if it doesn't cause an accident or a new born baby to cry, or gods wrath upon my region of earth =)..................WHY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I understand it, laws do get passed protecting transgendered in the workplace. These do not equally apply to crossdressers. If this were the case, I could move to another state then wear a skirt to work without declaring myself transgendered.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue
If you know of locations for which this is not the case, I'd be really interested to know about them, though.
I have seen some GG in my time that would be better suited to dress as a male than the female that they were born as.
I know I would make a better looking female than some that I have seen at the very least I try to dress fashionable.
I used to have time to go out somewhat or I should say I made time to go shopping at the local Lane Bryant store on two occasions last year and hope to make it there in the next couple of weeks.
Yes its good to experience going out even though you dont pass, the experience is worth it as it makes you realize what you really want out of CDing.
As an addendum to my previous post, let me add talk show hostess Wendy Williams to my list, and don't tell me that she doesn't at least look like a crossdresser if not an actual "she-male".Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
She is tall, hefty ("pneumatic"), has had numerous plastic surgeries, sports melon-sized implants, and has often been compared to transsexual performer Amanda Lepore. The behind-the-scenes look at her dressing room and her routine preparations for her show appear more like an M-T-F "Glamazon" transformation session than a regular make up session:
http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/13/w...ni-body-video/
And you tall, muscular "gurls" worry about not passing??? Wendy "owns" it - so should you. :eek::heehee::thumbsup:
All places. What I am saying is that being a crossdresser is being transgendered by definition. So if there is a law that covers transgendered, then you are covered.Quote:
Originally Posted by dack
Hah!!! There's hope for me yet. On my own personal standards, I do not pass, therefore I do not go out in public.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Sometimes it's more than justabout the clothing. I Think that if a person has the courage to go out dressed then that is alright by me. Yes, sometimes some of us
are not at our best, well there are some ggs that arn't always at thier best either. So I don't judge and like i said already, if a person is alrigh with themselves enough to go out, then it's ok.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Can we add Ann Coulter to the list? :D