Why do you...........................

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Originally Posted by msginaadoll

So then what was the purpose really of the original posting. Was it to ask why or to be judgemental or with a certain agenda?

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The original post was simply to ask why. Some of the members, however, took it upon themselves to pass judgment. I swear, sometimes we're like a large family that can't get away from the bickering when they get together.

But, I suppose it doesn't take much for things to become contentious sometimes, because of the sensitive nature of the topic.

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Originally Posted by J'lyn GG

I understand the concept behind the deception, really, I do, but I am really getting tired of hearing, well, I didn't LIE. I just didn't tell. Its not the same. It IS the same. You deceived your wife to protect yourself. Fine. Who is protecting your wife? The woman you love above all else? She thought you were, but now she finds out, you weren't. Doesn't your SO have the right to make life choices with ALL the pertinent information? And this IS pertinent.

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I think this is very well put and I completely agree

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Originally Posted by J'lyn GG

I understand the concept behind the deception, really, I do, but I am really getting tired of hearing, well, I didn't LIE. I just didn't tell. Its not the same. It IS the same. You deceived your wife to protect yourself. Fine. Who is protecting your wife? The woman you love above all else? She thought you were, but now she finds out, you weren't. Doesn't your SO have the right to make life choices with ALL the pertinent information? And this IS pertinent.

You lied. Admit it and spend your time making up for the deception and lies, instead of trying to say, 'well, I didn't REALLY lie.'

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Agreed the not telling is the same as lying.
Agreed that SOME of the reason I lied was to protect myself. I think that SOME of the reason I lied was also to protect my wife, in my eyes. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want her to feel I didn't love her, I didn't want her to have to keep this secret. Was I lying to myself with these reasonings. On reflection and deep consideration, Yes, I think I was. I apologised, I asked for her forgiveness. She forgave me. The lie no longer figures in our relationship. I love her more than I can express.
I don't know if that helps.

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Originally Posted by msginaadoll

The problem with this thread is it is all about arguements. The question was why.... Some of us told why and then others decide to judge us for the reasons we said. So then what was the purpose really of the original posting. Was it to ask why or to be judgemental or with a certain agenda?

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The purpose was to just ask "why" I wasn't being judgemental nor did I have an agenda, infact had that been the case then I probably would have posted more to the replies and maybe created more arguments.

It amazes me that a simple question about a subject that is often mentioned on here can cause some people to jump on the bandwagon and have a dig at people.

I don't think you could call it lieing to her if she hasn't ask you, and at this point i'm not bringing it up....