What things some of us say, and how do you feel about it?

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a :hugs:, but as Linda, I feel free to.

I dunno. I find it kind of hilarious when some folks use the word "lippy" instead of lipstick. As if it's some kind of "in crowd" that says that and consider us a "muggle" if we don't. That won't stop me from corresponding with them, however, even if I think it's kind of silly.:)

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Originally Posted by linda allen

I think you may be over reacting.

If we talked like this in real life, we would certainly be thought of as gay, but on this forum, we assume the identity of our alter ego, in most cases, a female.

In real life I would never give you a :hugs:, but as Linda, I feel free to.

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I understand what you are saying Linda, but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.
As far as the hugs thing goes, it's interesting that you would not hug a male friend or even a close male friend, maybe even a relative? It's quit common now a days. I see it all the time and even in some bard and night spots frequented by some country boys and rednecks. The hugs thin does not bother me. In fact, I use it corresponding with friends here at this site.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
To be honest some, if not most words of endearment or used as a salutation, like these turn me off to where I don't even want to correspond with those that use them or comment on their post or thread. I would not like it even if a GG used this type of salutations if I correspond with them.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

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Hi Brandy

I'm with you. I think those types of terms are stomach churning personally. Like these people are trying to almost make fun of GG's or they are doing a caricature. But that is different then people who use terms like Hun or Baby or sweetie. Those, to me, have a nice ring of a diner waitress that make you think of your aunt or Grandma.

Would I not correspond with these people? Probable not. That type of personality and mine just don't jive but I don't think ill of them.

Cheers!

;)

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

I understand what you are saying Linda, but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.
As far as the hugs thing goes, it's interesting that you would not hug a male friend or even a close male friend, maybe even a relative? It's quit common now a days..

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I don't like to hug guys because I don't want them to feel my bra straps. ;)

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Originally Posted by 2B Natasha

Hi Brandy

I'm with you. I think those types of terms are stomach churning personally. Like these people are trying to almost make fun of GG's or they are doing a caricature. But that is different then people who use terms like Hun or Baby or sweetie. Those, to me, have a nice ring of a diner waitress that make you think of your aunt or Grandma.

Would I not correspond with these people? Probable not. That type of personality and mine just don't jive but I don't think ill of them.


Cheers!

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Agreed. We think pretty much alike on this.

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Originally Posted by linda allen

;)

I don't like to hug guys because I don't want them to feel my bra straps. ;)

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Now that would be a good reason Linda! Especially around the redneck bars I mentioned. LMAO
Of course they may think it's just the strap to your shoulder holster!

I am a bit put off by this.

When I sign off with a hug it’s because I am T.G. It comes naturally for me to say that.
I meen nothing by it other than a show of affection.

If other members don’t wish to correspond with me then I am disappointed but I understand.
Some of us come here to be our real selves. Is that so bad?


Hugs, SUZY

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Now that would be a good reason Linda! Especially around the redneck bars I mentioned. LMAO
Of course they may think it's just the strap to your shoulder holster!

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I find that guys are more apt to hug me the drunker they are.

My usual encounter with family or friends is I hug the females and shake hands with the males. It's kind of a mutual thing, we both take cues from each other. If a guy starts to hug me, I'll hug back, but usually he extends his hand to shake.

"hugs" certainly doesn't bother me in the least, the kissy, smoochie, etc, etc does. I have never really given it much thought as to why it bothers me when they are words on a screen. In RL, no male has ever tried to kiss me so I have no problems there lol as for the hug, family may and I have no problems with it at all and friends do the one shoulder kind of hug and have no problems there either. I guess I have something new to ponder lol ;)

I can't and don't say those things because it would sound like I'm over compensating or being disingenuous....... I could care less what others say..... but if the way someone talks or posts annoys me I just stay from them.....

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Originally Posted by suzy1

I am a bit put off by this.

When I sign off with a hug it’s because I am T.G. It comes naturally for me to say that.
I meen nothing by it other than a show of affection.

If other members don’t wish to correspond with me then I am disappointed but I understand.
Some of us come here to be our real selves. Is that so bad?


Hugs, SUZY

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Brandy has just sent me a P.M. to say she did not meen “hugs”
It was just me over reacting again. I am such a silly girl.:eek:

Hugs to Brandy and the rest of you lot!:)

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

This has been on my mind for some time and thought I'd ask others how they feel when a CD uses terms like, huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine. Other then a few teenage girls and maybe a few over the top gays talk or write that way.
Do others feel this way? Or am I just over reacting? :eek:

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Maybe we're talking apples and oranges here. I agree that these terms are a bit over the top, at least for me. But the more I explore my gender rainbow, it just seems more natural to hug (and like Suzy, to sometimes sign off with a hug). When I'm dressed, I find myself calling other women "Hon" (sometimes find myself doing it in drab...). Cutesy? No. More me? Probably.

Hugs,

Claire

... and I just saw Suzy's last post, so maybe we're in more agreement here.

Me personally, I don't really pay much attention to it. I don't use them in girl or guy mode. I don't really care what salutations are used...i don't have any relationships with those that do use them or don't use them. So I know they aren't really meant to be personal in nature it's just who they are or perceive who they want to be.

Joanna

Words are our wands and they create the environment around us. Some of those words are frankly odd when used in the context of who we are. There is a maturity factor, I believe. That being said,'wet kisses' crosses the line....and everyone knows it....

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Originally Posted by melissakozak

Words are our wands and they create the environment around us. Some of those words are frankly odd when used in the context of who we are. There is a maturity factor, I believe. That being said,'wet kisses' crosses the line....and everyone knows it....

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I agree Melissa. "wet kisses" is the worst of the worst to me.

I don't use the words Brandy highlighted in her first post and the GGs I correspond with don't use them either. So to me they do not represent femininity in any way whatsoever. Maybe it's a regional thing.

Or something else: I had a stepfather (later in life) who used to call any women he met, young or old, "hon." I thought that was just plain stupid but never said anything out of respect for my mom. She lived with him, I didn't.

We should be free to use any expressions we like , and also free to ignore or respond accordingly. What gets me is the language police that have sprung up, labeling me as a racist, homophobe, or some other unfavorable slimeball for using expressions I've always heard and used without foul intent.
I was privileged to have been at two schools when the student body voted on the school's team name/mascot. Recently, the students of a school voted for "Cougars", but was overruled by "grownups" in the administration, because use of that word was offensive to women. Really? Jeez. I thought it was a mountain lion.
There are a couple of members here whose posts I never respond to, because of their......let's just say......failure to demonstrate any attempt to communicate respectably. My choice. Others have that same choice to ignore me.

I agree. These are terms that women do not use in real life or correspondence. While harmless, it's quite silly.

I'm a fairly reserved Scandinavian, even with people that I'm close to. So I won't use overly trite, cutesy expressions generally and not at all with most acquaintances.

Yes, Brandy, I find terms like, "huggles, kissy kissy, smootches, wet kisses and other words they think are cute or feminine" (as you put it) rather icky, especially coming from another man - even if transgendered. To me, that's a bit too close and personal.

Then again, maybe part of that is due to my inherent personality, as even when in male mode and interacting with my wife, I don't use cutesy-pie words of endearment such as "hon", "sweetie", "snookums", "babe", "sweetheart", or "honey-bunch" etc. either. Of course, 35+ years of marriage can do that to a person as well, I suppose, and once the "hot monkey sex" type of relationship that existed in the early years has mellowed out ;).

But if others use that type of terminology here, I'm not about to get too bent out of shape over it, as I don't think it is worth making an issue out of. Besides, cultural differences come into play here, and I know that in the U.S. South, for example, such terms of endearment as "dearie", "hun", etc. are used freely and commonly even among strangers, and no one attaches any particularly deep meanings to them.

On the other hand, we all consider ourselves to be transgendered here to one degree or another, and most of us have assigned "girl" names to our alter egos - both here and in our private lives. I therefore have no problem with the use of terms such as "girls", "ladies", or "sisters" when addressing or referring to each other on this forum. After all, it is our "girl" sides interacting here in this mode, and similarly, I prefer to be addressed as "Ma'am", "Miss", "Ms.",or "lady" when out en femme. In this context, it is all about being "in character" and staying that way for the duration of the interaction.

Some members here tend to steer the middle ground, and use terms such as "gurlz" to recognize that we are essentially male/female hybrids. Such words speak to our inherent duality, and I have no problem with that either.

I was raised in an era and in a family where there was a much more reserved approach to overt displays of affection than has become common today. This applied to both speech and actions such as hugging and kissing. It applied equally to the men and the women. As a result I am a bit uncomfortable when any gathering of friends or family begins or ends with lots of hugging. I rarely encounter the cutesy type terms in person, however, and they seem a bit silly when I see them in writing. I never use them personally, but have become somewhat imune to seeing them used by others. When I first went online, I found it somewhat awkward seeing crossdressing men refer to each other as "she", which seemed to be a much larger hurdle to overcome than words like hugs and sweetie.

Veronica

I like to wear a skirt and such ... it might seem odd to more than a few here but the "girl talk" kinda creeps me out.

I don't judge a poster by their use of little tag lines like that at the end of a post.Wet kisses is going too far IMO.
Being more of a country girl at heart "sweetie" I do use sometime because it is a accepted form of greeting here.
Kind of like a woman saying thank you "dear" in the northern states.

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.