My most entertianing out and about story.
This event happened to me a few weeks ago in Kansas City. I told a couple of my girlfriends about it and they told me I needed to blog it. Since I have fallen in love with this site and the girls here (thanks Christine!) I thought I would post it here......
I was in KC for a conference for work. As I often do when I travel, I dressed after work and went out for a drive and a bite. I decided that I really wanted to blow the diet and was in dire need of Taco Bell. I decided to drive through because I was listening to Derrick and Romaine on Out Q and they had a really funny bit going on and I didn't want to miss it. As I pulled into the line I noticed a large bush next to the sign where you order. If I had only known what fate and that darn bush would have had in store for me, I would have overcome my craving for greasy south of the boarder food and driven away as quickly as I could.
I pulled up to the sign and was concentrating on hitting my girly voice so much that I wasn't paying attention to what was laying in wait for me in the bush. It was full, and I mean full, of little birds. As I noticed this fact the ring leader of the birds made a dash for my open window. The little beast flew past my face just as I was completing my order. Needless to say I squealed like a girl (pun intended) and totally began to freak out. My new arch nemesis, we will call him Jack Sparrow, flew into the passenger window at full speed and came to rest in my passenger seat.
Quick review; I am in KC, in my car, I am in a line that I can't pull out of and I have ordered off the Frescetta menu because I felt guilty about eating at Taco Bell in the first place. Ohhh and I am en femme at 5:30 in the afternoon by myself. Well not really by myself because I have a stunned bird in my passenger seat.
What was I to do? If Steve Ewin was killed by a kind cuddly sting ray what could this monster in my seat with a razor sharp beak and talons do to me? I rolled my passenger window down and try to shoo him out with a flip flop (don’t ask) that I had laying in my backseat. Unfortunately, all I did was reawaken the dastardly beast!
He popped up hit the top of my car and then landed on my dash next to my hula girl. At this point, I am a car away from the drive through window. As my eyes met with Jack Sparrow's and all I could think was, "God please let him sing zippy do da and not let him be an Alfred Hitchcock fan". He seemed to bond with my Hula Girl because he just sat there pondering his next move. I pulled up to the drive through. The young man in the window took my five dollars and handed me my drink. As he did he noticed my little hitchhiker. He made a comment about me having a bird in my car. At this point the entire femme persona that I so love and embrace had totally flown out the window, unlike my new little buddy. I looked at him and in full guy voice explained, using an explicative or two that a real lady shouldn’t use, that it was because Taco Bell had seen fit to plant a bird condo next to their order sign. Now that I look back on it I really realize how strange this had to be for this young man. He just wanted an after school job and not all the drama that I had brought forth to his window. He worked past the initial shock of being greeted by a foul mouthed, pigeon lady who had a voice like Barry White. He quickly apologized for the bird and handed me my food. I pulled forward and parked in the lot. Opened my car doors and prepared to do battle with my little adversary.
Here is what I can not figure out. How can a bird that made a pinpoint entrance into my car window right in front of my face not find four open doors on an HHR. I think my new arch rival thought it was a game of birdy twister because he just didn't want to leave my car. The other theory is that he just couldn't stand to leave my dashboard hula girl so abruptly.
Time to review again; drive through, bird, I awake bird from the dead, bird falls in love with hula girl, nice lady in drive through traumatizes nice young man and now my rear is sticking out of my car as my front end is in the car doing battle with a bird that just doesn't want to leave. And let us not forget my food is getting cold.
Enter young prince charming! The young man from the drive through ran over to help me get the bird out. He swooped in, again pun intended, and with a, "let me help you with that MAM" quickly vanquished the feathered dragon that had flown into my life. He apologized profusely for the birds in the bush and wished me a nice night as he walked back into his castle of Taco Bell. This is a run for the boarder that I will never forget the rest of my life and I hope Jack Sparrow has as much fun telling this story to his friends as I have mine.
