In hindsight... I was pretty stupid
So, yesterday was my last day off before I have to go back to work on the late shift.
I woke up at 6.30 with Emma to make her a cuppa before she set out to catch the train for uni.
I kissed her goodbye and jumped on the net, did a lil browsing, you-tubed for a bit then did a bit of system maintenance.
I was bored by 8.30, so I jumped in the bath with plans to dress up for the day as I hadn't done it in a while.
(Here I should point out, when Emma got to know the whole truth about me, she imposed 2 rules;
-Never wear her clothes
-Don't change your body to a more feminine look that is permenant or long lasting eg never shave your legs, pluck your brow to a pencl line or pierce your ears. Upper body shaving is accepted as some blokes will do this anyway.
The reason for this rule was simple, when I'm out of skirts and stockings, she wants her bloke back and not a girly boy in mens clothes.
These rules were agreed upon at the start. I had no problem with it, I understood every reason implicitly, she even suggested something called dance skins if I wanted my legs to appear smooth... more on this later).
So, I'm in the bath, shavin my chest and keeping the short and curly ones in check.
And heres the part I can't reason any other way, other than I had to know how it looked and felt.
I started shaving my thighs!
I didn't have any thought of rules or boundaries at this point, only the look and feeling I was going to achieve when I got done.
Eventually I was done, surrounded by hair swirling in the bath. Still no thought of what I'd done, I just couldn't wait to get my stockings on. I cleaned up the bath, got dry and got dressed for the day.
Stockings on- Appearance, pretty much spot on, loved not seeing short black curly hair under the nylon.
Feeling... little difference if Im being quite honest. THe tactile enjoyment is neither increased or decreased.
So I spent a nice day dressed. Watched TV, went on the chat room, played with stumble-upon for a while, had a nice day.
But soon Emma would need a ride home from the train station, so I got undressed, cleaned off my make-up and took another bath, this time just to relax for a bit.
Then came the moment of realisation, when I pulled up my guy jeans after the bath...
"SHIT! I've shaved my bloody legs!!!!"
I'd have to deal with this later.
So I pick her up, and we get started on a massive chat in the car. Emma's a nursing student now, and I qualified nearly 4 years ago myself so I've been through all the BS lectures.
Anyway, after 2.5 hours of "The NHS is on its arse becuase..." and "What they need to do is...", I blurted out,
"Er, I need to appologise, Ive kinda shaved my legs..."
She thought I was kidding. I wasn't.
Then the shit went down, I tried to explain what was going through my head at the time, we both agreed there wasnt much going through my head at the time.
Anyway, long and short of it is this
- I knew the rules and boundaries, I broke them.
She got my wig out and cut it in half right infront of me.
I was told I could have a replacement when my hair grew back.
Then she went to my femme clothes with a bin-bag, put all my stuff in the bag and locked them in the old car that is currently SORN, she has the only keys with her now.
I was told I could have it all back when my hair grew back.
If I do it again, she's gone, and that is the last thing I want.
Im posting this on here for everyone to see that I actually find this fair.
I broke the rules, now my enjoyment of something has been restricted for however long it takes to grow hair.
Moral of the story,
Those of you with accepting SO's, take note, if there are rules, obey them. Theyre there to protect your relationship.
Ive learned the hard way, my girl needs her man, and I need my girl more than I need hairless looking legs.
In hindsight... I was pretty stupid
time to find another honey
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Stephenie S
Boy, are YOU pussy whipped!!
This seems a pretty one way relationship.
cut your wig in two ??? why not say she took up too 100.00 British pounds and set it on fire with her lighter
are you audits or what. time for another talk or move on
either she will try to understand and except over time or she will never change.ever
what you can't understand is she is not built to accept another woman as a partner nor tolerate this behavior.
so we all know this trans thing is for life right. ----- so the question is, are you prepared to live the rest of your life in this type of relationship. and let mommy tell you what you can or can't do ?
The approval of others should not be a motivation for a lifetime of misery. in a way you both are living in hell on earth hoping to change each other
you should both move on..
be happy
Food for thought in getting along with yourself and others...
S,
Hopefully to improve readability, I've responded with "cut and paste" instead of the quote button...
>>Okay then Debs over reacted to an outside event, took it out on me, hurling all sorts of crap at me ................ am I also in an abusive relationship ?
Maybe... If I heard this over and over again, I'd have to up the odds from "maybe" to "probably." Just depends on how good the relationship really is FOR you and what gets learned about bringing in outside issues that are disruptive to your harmony.
>>The CDERs who abuse the trust of their SO and use their clothes without their permission, damage things sometimes beyond repair are they then abusers ?
Maybe. Then again, they may just be stupid, ignorant, thoughtless, and/or clumsy. Depends on what they learn and how the fix what they've messed up.
>>Those who use CDing to explore their sexuality outside their relationship without agreement are they also guilty of abusing their partner .............. sometimes abuse is not always about physical ............... sometimes it hits at the core of a persons being
Agreed. They may be stupid, clumsy, unlucky, drunk, etc. but that's a 99.999% hit on their partner's trust, health, etc.
>>Smile I am sure you never meant for this thread to get into a them and us arguement
My SO and I discussed this right after we read the OP and we couldn't see why the OP would offer this up unless they wanted it discussed more fully. And, I think we're working towards agreement about "good" and "bad" behaviors by all sides in a relationship and what makes for a "good" life and a "bad" relationship.
The comment about being "pw'd" is an issue to be careful about, for instance. Be careful in life not to present yourself for blackmail, to agree to it, or, to offer it up as a way to "make a deal."
Again, there are some personal rights you cannot waive - even if you say it out loud, agree to it in writing, swear to it by any means or methods.
For example, you can not sell yourself into slavery for any reason. It is an illegal contract because it violates basic human rights - and invites others to beg, borrow, lie or steal to get others to sell themselves into bad situations.
Slavery is a corruption of humanity no matter if you're the buyer, seller, slave, or, just use the products produced by slave labor...
Agreeing to rules on your personal behavior - like no sneezing - particularly when the punishments are unstated and unclear - is a form of self imposed blackmail and/or slavery.
It's an unwise, foolish, thing to do and creates situations where "the enforcer" is "allowed" to decide what is "fair."
If his SO didn't like what he did, her course of action would be to discuss it and work it out, or, to move out.
She's not his warden, his owner, his mother, or, his God.
And, if he thinks so, or, wants her to be, that's another thread - maybe a different forum.
Speed Reading and slamming on the brakes.
Holy Eye Poppers. Blitzing through this thread my Eyes almost shot out of my head.
[SIZE="4"]I realized I'm in TOTAL agreement with Tamara[/SIZE]:doh:
Will wonders never cease?
Huntress
does make me do some thinking
I have a supportive spouse, but this does not mean that I am single. I am married, so everything I do reflects on the relationship, just as everything she does reflects on the relationship. We long ago understood that neither of us is perfect and a marriage is hard work and requires constant communication to remain as a couple and not veer off as individuals. Regardless, life is life and sometimes we don't meet each other's expectations in one way or another.
In that context, I have to wonder what other expectations would result in the destruction of property and unilateral decision-making? Is this kind of action reciprocal? I do understand that if your CDing is private and you both want to keep it that way, that you might feel a bit constrained in how to react to this rather agressive action. I must admit that I have some agreement with the posts above in that I sincerely hope that my wife and I don't treat each other as we might treat recalcitrant children. Maybe she felt that you were acting like a childe and so should be treated like one, but if that is the case then maybe there is a need for some professional counciling. Likewise, if she is studying to be a nurse, the ability to act appropriately at all times is essential, whether she's had a bad day or not. It could be that the stress of her schooling is getting to her, and that might be better handled with professional help as well.
I wish you both the best of luck. Your hair will be back in 3-4 weeks and in the meantime I do hope that some conversations about acting as adults in stressful and loving circumstances might be in order, and I do recommend a professional aid you in this discussion.
my best...
tina
