Stalked while crossdressed?

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11-25-2010, 08:00 PM
joann07

Stalked while crossdressed?

Hey everyone!

Hope you're having a nice Thanksgiving holiday.
Just wanted to share with you a stalker like experience I had. Something that's never happened to me before.

Ok. So Wednesday I took the day off to relax and take care of some errands before the Thanksgiving holiday. Things started off just like any other day I've been out. I stopped at the local tax collector to pay my property taxes, made a quick stop at the gas station to fill up, and then headed to the mall to have a late lunch and do a little shopping before picking up some cakes I ordered at the local bakery. Now this is where things got a little weird.

After I finished eating, I walked over to JCPenny to check out their sales. As I was walking around one of women's clothing sections, I decided to cross over to another section when I heard a guy say "excuse me" as I passed in front of him. I wasn't really paying attention when he said it because I thought he was talking to someone else so I just kept walking and started browsing the clothing racks. As I turned to look at some clothes, I could see in my peripheral vision that, in the distance, he was looking at me and that's when I started to suspect something was up.

I got a good look at his face and then I remembered seeing him while I was eating my lunch. The food court was setup so that it was separated by a center walking area with food vendors and tables on both sides. I was sitting on one side while he was sitting on the opposite side talking on his cell phone while sort of facing my direction approximately 20 to 30 yards away. At the time, I didn't think much about it, but then it hit me when I encountered him at JCPenny. At that moment, I realized this guy was following me and so I knew I may have to cut my shopping trip a little short. I didn't panic and just kept browsing the various clothing racks hoping that, as long as I was there, he wouldn't approach me if there were other women around.

I continued to browse the clothing section, and I then lost sight of him for a moment, so I walked back to the clothing area towards the entrance way to the inner mall. As I was browsing, I noticed him again standing at the entrance way talking on his cell phone. At that point, it was my suspicion that he was waiting for me to come out and so I knew it was time for me to bug out. I had to find a way to get out quickly without him seeing me and so, to block his view, I walked behind a tall clothing rack, turned, and walked into the jewelry section. Then, I took a left hand turn and exited outside to the parking garage. I didn't look back, for fear that he knew I knew he was following me, and so I just kept on casually walking and walked back over to Sears on the adjcent side.

As I was walking through Sears to get to the parking garage where my car was parked, I looked around and then all of a sudden I said to myself "OH CRAP!" because, in the distance, there he was again coming from the left in the walkway perpendicularly to me. I was about to run into him if I didn't act quickly and that's when I noticed he was about to pass a 3 foot wide pillar at the corner of where our walkways meet. Fortunately, he didn't see me because he was doing something on his cell phone, but I didn't want to take a chance of crossing his path again so, as we got closer, I quickly cut the around corner on the opposite side so he wouldn't see me as he passed the pillar. I continued on, exited the store, and walked into the parking garage over to my car. I looked around to make sure he wasn't around and then I quickly got in my car. I took a few breaths to gather myself, then I started up my car and left.

I still had some time to kill before going to the bakery and so I stopped at Starbucks to have a little coffee, dessert, and to relax for a bit. As I was enjoying my coffee, I just kept thinking back about that guy. I had no idea who he was and why he followed me from the food court, but for him to tail me around like that was definitely creepy. I wondered whether he was going to try and pick me up, whether he read me or not, whether he was going to try and solicit something, or whether he's some predator, but I didn't want to stick around to find out because I was already starting to feel a little nervous and so my gut instinct said to get out of that situation as soon as possible.

Once I finished with my coffee and dessert, I felt a lot calmer. I then got in my car, drove over to the bakery, picked up the cakes I ordered, and headed for home.

After that experience, now I really know what it's like to be a GG and stalked by some creepy guy. Who knows, maybe he just wanted to give me a compliment, but for him to follow and watch me like that definitely brought up the red flag. Too many times I've heard of news reports of GG's being abducted, and later to suffer an unfortunate fate by some perpetrator, so we have to be very careful and never let down our guard. If you're out shopping by yourself this holiday season, be observant, and always keep a watchful eye wherever you are because you never know where or when you'll cross paths with a potential predator.
Looks like I need to start carrying my concealed weapon more often.

Hugs!
11-25-2010, 08:13 PM
Being Paige

Good for you for staying so calm and not panicing!
11-25-2010, 08:37 PM
deebra

For less than $20.00 you can buy pepper spray on a key chain that will shoot 20 feet. If he got close and started trouble a shot to his eyes would definately disable him, give you time to escape and a lot less trouble than pulling your gun. As we all know a gun could involve the police, you booked and taken to jail, making bond, lawyers at big bucks, trial and where you might be spending your future. You can only use the gun if your life is threatened so I say use the pepper spray first and the gun as a last resort. Everyone , male or female should carry pepper spray. You did the right thing, glad he didn't see you leave and follow you home. As attractive and eye catching as you are he probially saw a very nice looking woman and (nothing ventured nothing gained) decided he would try his luck and see if he could get anywhere with you.
11-25-2010, 08:42 PM
Karren H

Scarry!! I've been followed a couple times by creeps... And once a guy turned around in his car and paced me as I walked down the street. I got out of there in all three cases.
11-25-2010, 08:46 PM
Amy Lynn3

Great, for you JoAnn ! You did the correct thing and I am glad you are safe. You played it safe and did not hang around to find out his intentions, but that concealed weapon is not a bad idea, especially as much as you are out and about.

I have a concealed carry permit, just for reasons stated. I am in North Carolina and you in Florida and the permits are good in most states up and down the East coast, provided you want to travel with it.
11-25-2010, 08:51 PM
ShannonDragon

Glad you are OK Joann. As I work for the Dept of Corrections, I can verify, there are a lot of very scary people out there.

Pepper spray can be a good idea, but there are a number of folks who can literally eat the stuff. If you have to use it, strike fast and don't stay around to see how its working, GET OUT!
11-25-2010, 08:51 PM
Marissa

Joann, great evasive manuevers on your part..you played it well without alarming. Sorry you ended up knowing that stalking feeling. Its unforunate that it could have been a few of the other reasons but still not a reason to make someone uncomfortable like that.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure it will serve as a reminder for those who go out and about on daily shopping or other activities.
11-25-2010, 08:57 PM
Loni

should have gotten a photo of him, reported this to the police. just maybe he is know to them, or at least it would prove another girls story about him stalking people.
but double yes on the pepper spray, get the foam with die in it, NOT the spray style as a lite breeze can blow it back to you.
and learn a couple blows that do not take much to do but will hurt like he**, and can even break bones.
like a heel to ones instep, a hard down ward blow can break his foot making it very hard to walk.
a knuckle to the apple.
a couple sharp pointy fingers to the eyes.
both hands cupped to both his ears hard and fast.
base of your palm upward to his nose. (just above the upper lip).
and many more.

the pepper foam to the face (in the eyes and mouth/nose) and a bit of pain get's the point across.

but good to hear you are doing the first step to keeping safe..keeping your eyes open. great job.

.
11-25-2010, 09:01 PM
tanyalynn51

Two things Joann- one, are you sure this wasnt some kind of mall security? I would have asked someone in Penney's to call security for me. Either way, whoever he was, that would have done something about it. Two, you did the right thing. And, if necessary, dont hesitate to defend yourself. If it comes down to you or the other person, its always better if you win. Your skill at evading him was great. You have great instincts, so always trust him. I deal with a lot of dangerous people in my job, so I have to watch for being followed myself. Go with your gut.
11-25-2010, 09:36 PM
ChristiesGurl

I'm glad you are okay. The scary thing too is if he read you, he may have intended some harm. I had a trans friend once who said she was always afraid of getting jumped, so I always walked her to her car.
11-25-2010, 09:59 PM
Nicole Erin

You should have said - in a masculine voice -
"Hey baby, wanna see the surprise in my pantyhose?"

THAT would have gotten him to leave you alone
11-25-2010, 10:43 PM
joann07

Quote:

Originally Posted by shyselina

Thats creepy. I'm glad your safe.

Thanks girlfriend! That was definitely a creepy moment I started feeling uncomfortable and I'm glad I was able to evade and get out as quickly as I can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Being Paige

Good for you for staying so calm and not panicing!

Thank you sis! My experience going out and dealing with adverse situations definitley paid off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by deebra

For less than $20.00 you can buy pepper spray on a key chain that will shoot 20 feet. If he got close and started trouble a shot to his eyes would definately disable him, give you time to escape and a lot less trouble than pulling your gun. As we all know a gun could involve the police, you booked and taken to jail, making bond, lawyers at big bucks, trial and where you might be spending your future. You can only use the gun if your life is threatened so I say use the pepper spray first and the gun as a last resort. Everyone , male or female should carry pepper spray. You did the right thing, glad he didn't see you leave and follow you home. As attractive and eye catching as you are he probially saw a very nice looking woman and (nothing ventured nothing gained) decided he would try his luck and see if he could get anywhere with you.

I appreciate your support girlfriend. Yeah. Maybe he was a decent guy who was just trying his luck with an attractive girl, but just too shy. However, my gut instincts just didn't feel it was right and erred on the side of caution and decided it was time to play it safe and get out. Besides, I wouldn't be interested in him anyway as I am lesbian. LOL!

Pepper spray is something I'll have to look into. Although, I would have to be careful using it because, if the table turns, the attacker could get a hold of it and use it against me and then I would be really really screwed.

A gun could definitely involve the police. Fortunately, I have a permit to carry a concealed weapon and it could be a deterrent if I were to quickly flash it or put my hand in my purse to show that I have a weapon. Now here in Florida, we have a new law called "Stand your ground" which permits you to stand your ground, anywhere, anytime, you are attacked. No longer must you take the risk of retreating from an attacker before protecting yourself with deadly force.

These are some details of this new law:

A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity, and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.

A person who uses force as permitted in s. 776.012, s. 776.013, or s776.031 is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action for the use of such force...

Hopefully, I will never have to use a gun to protect myself while I'm dressed as that would definitely involve the police, lawyers, and most likely it will out me as it would probably make the local news. Then my family and friends (who don't know) would find out and that would not be a good scenario.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Scarry!! I've been followed a couple times by creeps... And once a guy turned around in his car and paced me as I walked down the street. I got out of there in all three cases.

Most definitely scary sis. I'm glad you were able to get out of some similar situations.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Lynn3

Great, for you JoAnn ! You did the correct thing and I am glad you are safe. You played it safe and did not hang around to find out his intentions, but that concealed weapon is not a bad idea, especially as much as you are out and about.
I have a concealed carry permit, just for reasons stated. I am in North Carolina and you in Florida and the permits are good in most states up and down the East coast, provided you want to travel with it.

Thanks for your support sis. A concealed permit is definitely something worth having in this day and age. There are so many crazy people out there and you just never know when you'll cross paths with some psycho. Thanks for the info. It's good to know that my concealed weapons permit is honored in North Carolina.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShannonDragon

Glad you are OK Joann. As I work for the Dept of Corrections, I can verify, there are a lot of very scary people out there.
Pepper spray can be a good idea, but there are a number of folks who can literally eat the stuff. If you have to use it, strike fast and don't stay around to see how its working, GET OUT!

Appreciate your support sis. It is definitely very scary how many bad people there are out there. I've heard stories of pepper spray used on people, including tazers, and it doesn't affect them because they're so high on drugs. It's scary.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marissa

Joann, great evasive manuevers on your part..you played it well without alarming. Sorry you ended up knowing that stalking feeling. Its unforunate that it could have been a few of the other reasons but still not a reason to make someone uncomfortable like that.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure it will serve as a reminder for those who go out and about on daily shopping or other activities.

Thank you sweetie. It's definitely something to keep aware of because you just never know who you encounter and being calm and cool in situations like this helps you to think on your feet so you can avoid a dangerous situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loni

should have gotten a photo of him, reported this to the police. just maybe he is know to them, or at least it would prove another girls story about him stalking people.
but double yes on the pepper spray, get the foam with die in it, NOT the spray style as a lite breeze can blow it back to you.
and learn a couple blows that do not take much to do but will hurt like he**, and can even break bones.
like a heel to ones instep, a hard down ward blow can break his foot making it very hard to walk.
a knuckle to the apple.
a couple sharp pointy fingers to the eyes.
both hands cupped to both his ears hard and fast.
base of your palm upward to his nose. (just above the upper lip).
and many more.

the pepper foam to the face (in the eyes and mouth/nose) and a bit of pain get's the point across.

but good to hear you are doing the first step to keeping safe..keeping your eyes open. great job.

.

Taking a picture of him would've been a good idea, but its like one of things where you don't think of it at the time because you're in survival mode and just want to get away. Now that I've had my first experience, I'll have to keep that in mind.

Thanks for the defensive blow tips. I've heard of some of those and if there's a time when I have to use hand-to-hand defensive tactics I am definitely playing dirty. I won't even hesitate to bite some flesh to protect myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanyalynn51

Two things Joann- one, are you sure this wasnt some kind of mall security? I would have asked someone in Penney's to call security for me. Either way, whoever he was, that would have done something about it. Two, you did the right thing. And, if necessary, dont hesitate to defend yourself. If it comes down to you or the other person, its always better if you win. Your skill at evading him was great. You have great instincts, so always trust him. I deal with a lot of dangerous people in my job, so I have to watch for being followed myself. Go with your gut.

No no. He definitely wasn't some type of mall security guy as he was wearing blue jeans and a light olive green t-shirt with a white pattern print on the front. And if he was security, why would he be following me? I wasn't doing anything suspicious or illegal. All I was doing is eating my lunch at the food court so something was definitely not right when I saw him at JCPenny tailing and watching me. And with him talking to somebody on his cell phone, who knows, he could've been calling his friends to come out so that they can follow me to the point where they can corner me somewhere where there's no way of escaping. So the first thing I had to do was get out of the situation as quickly as I can.

Being observant of my surroundings is something I am always doing when I'm out in femme because I have to remember that I am no longer the guy, or the aggressor, but a woman who's the now vunerable one. And because I am vunerable, I have to be more attentive to the people around me especially if I'm alone. I am greatful my instincts kicked in because I don't want to be in a situation where I could be assaulted or killed by some would-be predator.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bzychick

I'm glad you are okay. The scary thing too is if he read you, he may have intended some harm. I had a trans friend once who said she was always afraid of getting jumped, so I always walked her to her car.

Thank you for the support sweetie. Yes. It is scary if he had read me and who knows what his intentions were. I didn't want to stick around long enough to find out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicole Erin

You should have said - in a masculine voice -
"Hey baby, wanna see the surprise in my pantyhose?"

THAT would have gotten him to leave you alone

LOL! Funny sis! I'm sure that would make him run with his tail under legs, but I wouldn't want to do that as that would give him a negative image about us.
11-25-2010, 10:44 PM
Crissy Kay

Just Wow!!! Glad you are OK. You really have to be carefull out there. It would have been panic time, if it was me. You handled it very well.
11-25-2010, 10:52 PM
Cheryl James

I am so glad that you were alert and that you acted prudently to avert a, possibly, dangerous (at the worst) or uncomfortable (at the best) situation. A similar situation happened to me recently as I browsed in a bookstore in a large mall near where I live. As I browsed in the store I happened to glance up and saw a man in the mall (with a cell phone, no kidding) watching me through the store window. My radar was on as I continued to browse the books. A couple minutes later I sensed that someone had entered the aisle where I was. I glanced over and saw the same man. He was pretending to look at a book, but I sensed he was really paying too much attention to me. I, casually, put the book down that I was looking at and moved to another aisle but I kept a watchful eye on him. He moved, also, to an adjacent aisle where he could observe me. I fought the urge to just run and, instead, moved to another aisle that was close to the outside entrance to the store. He did not match that move and, short of running after me, would have been unable to immediately intercept me as I made my way to the outside door. I had visions of him catching up to me, but I placed myself near a group of people exiting the mall and made my way to my car (safely). It does give one pause and gave me a greater appreciation for what GG's must deal with regularly. Be safe!
11-25-2010, 11:02 PM
GingerLeigh

You're lucky you got away from him. From what you described, I doubt his intentions were pure since nobody nice follows anyone around that long without something sinister on their mind. Maybe next time (hopefully there isn't one) pull out your cell phone and make like you're talking to someone, even look his way and make like you're talking about him to your caller. Even snap a picture of him etc... That will turn the tables and if he had any ill intent, he'll get the heck out of Dodge before he get's ID'd.

I got stalked by a group of men on Halloween while dressed as a girl. I was about nine and I was terrified (times were different then, I went out alone). Lucky some creepy pedophiles didn't get me, I probably wouldn't be here today if I didn't do some quick thinking by running to a stranger's house and telling them someone was after me. I just hung around there until I was sure they were gone. Never got stalked in drab, funny huh?

Ginger
11-25-2010, 11:21 PM
Chickhe

What you can do is play dumb for a bit until you can identify them and verify they are following you and try to get a license plate number if they are in a car.

...at the mall, I would not be surprised if they are asset protection/watching shoplifters and since we might look a little suspicious if nervous and only browsing for example they might watch us.
11-25-2010, 11:51 PM
ReineD

I'm glad you're safe, Joann! :) But now you'll never know his motives! If he did read you, maybe he wanted to find out how you go about looking so good, and blending in so well?

At any rate, it's maddening being a woman alone and feeling powerless in the face of danger from a man. Sometimes it's good to run, but in your case, I would have walked up to him in the safety of the store and said, "Excuse me, can I help you? You seem to be following me". You either would have heard a denial on his part, if it was pure coincidence that you happened to be at the same places at the same time, or he would have perhaps felt emboldened enough to tell you what was on his mind. Maybe he thought he recognized you from somewhere? Or, if he did have nefarious reasons for tailing you, he would have felt caught and he would have bolted. There are always security people in stores who can help. If he would have bolted, I would have explained the situation to either the store or the mall security, and asked if I could be escorted to my car. Joann, walking alone to your car in a deserted garage might not have been the best way to deal with this.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Not in broad daylight at a mall, and at night I always avoid situations where I might compromise myself by being alone in deserted places. But if something like this should have happened, there was a time when I would have simply called my ex. This is no longer an option, so now I need to have plans to protect myself and the best way is to confront the situation when there are other people around and to get them involved if I do feel compromised.
11-26-2010, 01:19 AM
docrobbysherry

How would u have handled the situation in drab?

Joann, I know that had to be such a scary feeling! I'm sorry it happened to u and SO HAPPY the way it turned out!:thumbsup:

I won't go out dressed alone for a number of reasons. One is, I can't seem to get past the idea that what I'm doing is somehow WRONG! And, that people will somehow SENSE that if they know I'm a CD! So, of course I wouldn't want to attract attention!
If I had been out dressed in your situation, I would have probably done the same things as u!

But, then I asked myself what I would have done if it happened while I was in drab! I realized I would have handled it COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY!:eek:

First, if it was a store with others around, I would have walked rite up to the guy and asked if he was following me. If he answered or acted strangely, I would have told him to leave immediately or I will have someone call security or the police! And, if he didn't, I would!:straightface:

Why wouldn't I do the same dressed? Oh yeah! A CD with a stalker! Bring in the police, maybe the media? :doh:
Whether or NOT we would be treated fairly is not my point. Just the fact that we mite WORRY about being found out and treated badly IS!

Does anyone ELSE see how UNFAIR this is? :brolleyes:
11-26-2010, 09:08 AM
Jorja

Wow, creeeeepy! I am glad you got away safely.
One thing to keep in mind, as secure as you may feel carrying your gun, it too can be taken away from you and used against you just like the pepper spray can be. I strongly suggest you find a YMCA, Police Dept., Community Center, etc.... doing self defence training and attend a class or two. It is well worth your time, effort and safety. I know, I have had to use it a time or two.

Also just to add a thought.....
Unless you have ever drawn your wepon on another human being, aimed and pulled the trigger, then watched them fall to the ground, you might as well leave your gun at home in the lock box. It is not Hollywood and you are not Olivia Benson from Law and Order SUV. It is REAL and too many people cannot pull the trigger when it is needed. A person is not a target on a gun range.
11-26-2010, 09:23 AM
kymberlyjean

Just to be devil's advocate here, I try not to automatically assume the worst in people. I say that and also add that you should always be alert and aware of your surroundings and trust your gut feeling. Looking at this particular situation from the outside, I wouldn't discount the possibility that this guy was just simply fascinated by you and trying to get closer look. Someone that wishes to do you harm would not typically approach you inside a store and say something to you. A true scumbag would probably be a little better at being discrete and not give away his presence until he was able to suprise you in the parking lot. The whole thing with the cell phone up to his ear was him trying to get a good picture of you without being obvious and the "doing something else on his cell phone" while he was walking out to the parking lot was him checking out the fruits of his labor. Still creepy? Yes. Where you right in trying to evade and distance yourself? Certainly.
Just my $.02, if it's even worth that.
Kim
11-26-2010, 09:42 AM
TxKimberly

I wonder if he was just a cross dresser trying to get up the courage to speak to you?
11-26-2010, 10:56 AM
Jorja

Everyone here needs to go read this http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ton)&p=1357065

Be safe
11-26-2010, 11:05 AM
eluuzion

hiya joann,

There are lots of "boogie men" out there. The best way to be safe is to be aware of your surroundings at all times and not dismiss anything that you feel is peculiar. You paid attention...the first step. The goal is always to get away...never to confront. The only real "weapon" is people. Never run away aimlessly...always run toward people.

Malls are prime hunting grounds for muggers, rapists and theives, particularly parking lots. They are "fringe" areas, which are "in between" areas that criminals love. Just enough people passing by to find victims, not enough traffic to hinder carrying out the attack on the preoccupied shoppers. A 30 second window is all that is needed, and an easy escape route to vanish.

Your best move is to go to a mall security guard and request an escort, as well as identifying the "suspect". Going unescorted to your car is exactly the opportunity a "stalker" is looking for. You are alone in a "cage" that muffles any screams...bad idea.

Knowing what is normal for a "fringe" area is the key to safety. Parking lots... They wait for friends by entrances or go directly to and from a car. People with decent vehicles do not stand around leaning or sitting on them either. People do not "loiter" or wander around in between cars unless they are up to no good. If they move toward YOU, immediately head for the populated area closest to you. Never let anyone closer that 20 feet to you, and never respond to the "excuse me, could you..." set-ups...never stop walking.

The worst thing you can ever do is allow somebody to take you to a second location. Crooks know the penalty for kidnapping is close to a murder rap, so there is every incentive for them to kill you. You must fight the battle if you are in that situation, as once you are mobile...you are almost certain to not return alive.

Don't pull a weapon if you aren't willing to use it. If you are relying on it to scare someone away so you don't have to use it, you shouldn't have one. A violent person knows the difference between a bluff and his world of violence. You will just disrespect him and he will take that gun away from you...and he will not hesitate for a second to shoot you with it. His world is the reality...yours is the fluff and fantasy of movies and "karate" advertising promises of defense training (that will be useless on the street).

So, other than that...Have fun holiday shopping! hhehehehehe:eek::heehee:

:love:
11-26-2010, 11:13 AM
5150 Girl

I woul have told a sales associate that the dude was folowing me, and had them call security to check this joker out.
11-26-2010, 11:19 AM
Annaliese2010

Golly Joann, the incident you recounted had me on the edge of my seat! Dash the thought of any harm coming to such a pretty face!

Yes, this is a violent world and when you see it on the news you just never imagine it could happen to you. And yes, I guess the ultimate peace of mind is had by carrying a LadySmith or lil pink Glock. Or is it. I did at one time - permits to carry are so easy to qualify for in these parts. But the weight, the responsibility, the ever present knowing, wondering, worrying if I could pull the trigger & waste a life...yadda yadda yadda... It's all such a downer and just a bit much.

So now I just sometimes carry a pepper spray gun. Or a small but powerful little stun gun which fits easy in a purse or pocket - its square shaped, lightweight and about the size of a makeup compact case. Non-lethal force is more me. Except in bed that is - or what I've been told anyways. :o
11-26-2010, 11:45 AM
7sisters

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5150 Girl

I woul have told a sales associate that the dude was folowing me, and had them call security to check this joker out.

Ditto. And never never never never leave a crowd and walk to your car alone. Or go to any place alone. Safety in numbers. Trust your instincts. I'm glad you did.

This really takes the fun out of dressing. I love to dress nicely. I just hate HATE the attention.
11-26-2010, 01:45 PM
AKAMichelle

You should be packing. That way you won't feel so afraid of people like that. The worst part is that he probably meant no harm, but never the less it did bother you. Glad is was a non-event in the end.
11-26-2010, 06:30 PM
Joann Smith

I do not know Joann.....Eventhough I know that being safe is always the best policy....I can tell you that not every guy who follows you around a mall, or looks at you and drools....means to do you harm... might as well get use to it ... as i have said before you are really really cute and things like this are gonna happen to you ...
Alot of guys are just plain Idiots when it comes to how to approach a woman....espically a really attractive woman...Oh and even it he did read you. You might be surprised as to how many "straight guys" that are really attracted to transwomen but they just want to keep it on the low.. Which only makes them act totally totally stupid ... Not sure what this guys deal was... He might have been a Joann07 fan....that or he wanted to eat your liver...

How to read a guys mind while price checking shoes at the same time is an old GG ninga trick thats is tough to master....

You have alot to learn in the womans world..

Joann
11-26-2010, 06:40 PM
Southern Michele

Caution and "feets do your stuff" are your best options. You did a good job of trying to avoid the creep. If you can stay away, even if you have to shop all night, that is better than a confrontation. When I learned about concealed carry years ago it was a very sobering lesson the responsibilities you take on. You should not go there lightly and do your homework. Massod Ayoob has written several very good small books to let you know your rights. They are probably not what you think. Pull your gun and now the "mugger" is also fearing for his life and can shoot you and be on the side of the law. If you carry, learn to use it and PRACTICE. A better option is for you to get into your car. A car is a formidable weapon. I love studying all the optimum "Navy Seal" responses you can see on TV but unless you are one of those, simply haul ass. Pepper spray is better used on your food. IMHO
11-26-2010, 06:41 PM
Debglam

Scary Joann but you did everything right girl! The BEST way to stay safe is to see trouble coming and avoid it. We all have to be aware of what is going on around us and to trust our instincts.

Debby
11-26-2010, 07:18 PM
sandra-leigh

In Canada, stun guns are prohibitted weapons available only to police.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2009/...taser-faq.html

In Canada, pepper spray for use on humans is a prohibitted weapon, available only to the police or by very restricted permit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepper_spray

Concealed weapon permits are very difficult to obtain in Canada.
http://canadacarry.com/
I do not have any hard figures as to how difficult it is to get. About a month ago, I read a newspaper article here about a person who did have a permit; if I recall (and I might not), the article indicated that that person was one of only 3 private citizens in Canada who was authorized to carry a concealed weapon. I have no way of validating that figure.
11-26-2010, 07:27 PM
joann07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crissy Kay

Just Wow!!! Glad you are OK. You really have to be carefull out there. It would have been panic time, if it was me. You handled it very well.

Thanks! It's a situation we have to think about when we're out and about so always keep a watchful eye.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheryl James

I am so glad that you were alert and that you acted prudently to avert a, possibly, dangerous (at the worst) or uncomfortable (at the best) situation. A similar situation happened to me recently as I browsed in a bookstore in a large mall near where I live. As I browsed in the store I happened to glance up and saw a man in the mall (with a cell phone, no kidding) watching me through the store window. My radar was on as I continued to browse the books. A couple minutes later I sensed that someone had entered the aisle where I was. I glanced over and saw the same man. He was pretending to look at a book, but I sensed he was really paying too much attention to me. I, casually, put the book down that I was looking at and moved to another aisle but I kept a watchful eye on him. He moved, also, to an adjacent aisle where he could observe me. I fought the urge to just run and, instead, moved to another aisle that was close to the outside entrance to the store. He did not match that move and, short of running after me, would have been unable to immediately intercept me as I made my way to the outside door. I had visions of him catching up to me, but I placed myself near a group of people exiting the mall and made my way to my car (safely). It does give one pause and gave me a greater appreciation for what GG's must deal with regularly. Be safe!

Wow girl. I'm glad you handled yourself very well and got out of that situation.
Thank you for sharing your experience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GingerLeigh

You're lucky you got away from him. From what you described, I doubt his intentions were pure since nobody nice follows anyone around that long without something sinister on their mind. Maybe next time (hopefully there isn't one) pull out your cell phone and make like you're talking to someone, even look his way and make like you're talking about him to your caller. Even snap a picture of him etc... That will turn the tables and if he had any ill intent, he'll get the heck out of Dodge before he get's ID'd.

I got stalked by a group of men on Halloween while dressed as a girl. I was about nine and I was terrified (times were different then, I went out alone). Lucky some creepy pedophiles didn't get me, I probably wouldn't be here today if I didn't do some quick thinking by running to a stranger's house and telling them someone was after me. I just hung around there until I was sure they were gone. Never got stalked in drab, funny huh?

Ginger

Yeah. Who knows what this guy's intention was, but I found it very odd that he would follow me around like that. When I'm in drab, I see a lot of very attractive GGs and if I saw one who was drop dead gorgeous, I would never follow her around like how this guy did with me.

Thanks for sharing your experience. For a kid at nine years old, you did the right thing and seeked shelter. Too many times we hear about kids being abducted and killed and thank goodness you go away. Talk about the crazy people that GGs have to watch out for, well it's tough being a kid these days because of pedofiles and child molesters. What a crazy world it is today.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chickhe

What you can do is play dumb for a bit until you can identify them and verify they are following you and try to get a license plate number if they are in a car.

...at the mall, I would not be surprised if they are asset protection/watching shoplifters and since we might look a little suspicious if nervous and only browsing for example they might watch us.

Thanks for the tip. It's easy to say I should've done this or or, but unfortunately, when you're in a suvival situation there's no time to think about things like like to get a picture of him or a license plate as you're just trying to get away. However, now that I have experienced this I know I can handle myself, think fast, and turn the tables if another situation like this arises.

I've heard about these protection/watching shoplifters, but in my case, why would he be watching me while I was eating at the food court? I find that very odd as there is no way I could steal food from a food vendor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReineD

I'm glad you're safe, Joann! :) But now you'll never know his motives! If he did read you, maybe he wanted to find out how you go about looking so good, and blending in so well?

At any rate, it's maddening being a woman alone and feeling powerless in the face of danger from a man. Sometimes it's good to run, but in your case, I would have walked up to him in the safety of the store and said, "Excuse me, can I help you? You seem to be following me". You either would have heard a denial on his part, if it was pure coincidence that you happened to be at the same places at the same time, or he would have perhaps felt emboldened enough to tell you what was on his mind. Maybe he thought he recognized you from somewhere? Or, if he did have nefarious reasons for tailing you, he would have felt caught and he would have bolted. There are always security people in stores who can help. If he would have bolted, I would have explained the situation to either the store or the mall security, and asked if I could be escorted to my car. Joann, walking alone to your car in a deserted garage might not have been the best way to deal with this.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Not in broad daylight at a mall, and at night I always avoid situations where I might compromise myself by being alone in deserted places. But if something like this should have happened, there was a time when I would have simply called my ex. This is no longer an option, so now I need to have plans to protect myself and the best way is to confront the situation when there are other people around and to get them involved if I do feel compromised.

Thanks girl. I appreciate your input.
Whatever his motives were, I don't think I wanted to find out anyway. It just felt very strange and so I trusted my gut instincts.

Yeah. I don't think I would've turned around and confronted this guy. It was definitely obvious he followed me, standing around watching, to make sure that I wouldn't leave JCPenny to go back into the inner mall. Besides, if he wanted to say something why didn't he come up and talk to me while I was eating at the food court? I was there for a while and so he had enough time to come and greet me. Just the way he was standing there, watching, made me uncomfortable and so I had to get out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there was no security guard around, but if I need to find some help I would definitely have seeked assistance from an employee.

As for the deserted parking gargage, this happened during the daytime and so it's not like I was alone as there were other people coming in and out of the mall.

Quote:

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Joann, I know that had to be such a scary feeling! I'm sorry it happened to u and SO HAPPY the way it turned out!:thumbsup:

I won't go out dressed alone for a number of reasons. One is, I can't seem to get past the idea that what I'm doing is somehow WRONG! And, that people will somehow SENSE that if they know I'm a CD! So, of course I wouldn't want to attract attention!
If I had been out dressed in your situation, I would have probably done the same things as u!

But, then I asked myself what I would have done if it happened while I was in drab! I realized I would have handled it COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY!:eek:

First, if it was a store with others around, I would have walked rite up to the guy and asked if he was following me. If he answered or acted strangely, I would have told him to leave immediately or I will have someone call security or the police! And, if he didn't, I would!:straightface:

Why wouldn't I do the same dressed? Oh yeah! A CD with a stalker! Bring in the police, maybe the media? :doh:
Whether or NOT we would be treated fairly is not my point. Just the fact that we mite WORRY about being found out and treated badly IS!

Does anyone ELSE see how UNFAIR this is? :brolleyes:

Hey sis! Thanks for your input.
This is definitely a learning experience for me, but now I know what it feels like to be a GG and be the object of attention.
If I ever sense something like this is happening again, I know I'll be more calmer and in control and hopefully, I can turn the table and be the aggressor with a concealed weapon to back me up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jorja

Wow, creeeeepy! I am glad you got away safely.
One thing to keep in mind, as secure as you may feel carrying your gun, it too can be taken away from you and used against you just like the pepper spray can be. I strongly suggest you find a YMCA, Police Dept., Community Center, etc.... doing self defence training and attend a class or two. It is well worth your time, effort and safety. I know, I have had to use it a time or two.

Also just to add a thought.....
Unless you have ever drawn your wepon on another human being, aimed and pulled the trigger, then watched them fall to the ground, you might as well leave your gun at home in the lock box. It is not Hollywood and you are not Olivia Benson from Law and Order SUV. It is REAL and too many people cannot pull the trigger when it is needed. A person is not a target on a gun range.

Thanks for your input sis.

That's true too, but I have proper training about how to keep your gun from being used against you through my concealed weapons class.
I have various self defense techniques that I can do, but I've never take a class room type of self-defense training. I'll have to look into those types of training classes.

Believe me, if I have to shoot someone who's endangering my life or someone else's I will shoot to kill because of a bad thing that happened to my brother several years ago. He was on a family vacation in Virginia and was unpacking is vehicle when a guy, who was high on crack, approached him. The man didn't say anything to my brother and just pulled out a gun, shot him multiple times, and left him for dead in the hotel parking lot. He then stole my brother's SUV, with his 5 year old daughter still strapped to the child seat, and took the police on a short chase, but then ended up crashing. His daughter was ok, but my brother was taken to the hospital and treated for multiple gunshot wounds. They didn't think he was going to survive, but miraculously the bullets didn't hit any major organs and he survived. Unfortunately, they left 2 bullets in his body because it would do more harm to remove them so they just left them there. Now based on what happened to my brother, I have no compasion for armed robbers and predators who prey on innocent women and children so if I have to pull the trigger to kill I will not hesitate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kymberlyjean

Just to be devil's advocate here, I try not to automatically assume the worst in people. I say that and also add that you should always be alert and aware of your surroundings and trust your gut feeling. Looking at this particular situation from the outside, I wouldn't discount the possibility that this guy was just simply fascinated by you and trying to get closer look. Someone that wishes to do you harm would not typically approach you inside a store and say something to you. A true scumbag would probably be a little better at being discrete and not give away his presence until he was able to suprise you in the parking lot. The whole thing with the cell phone up to his ear was him trying to get a good picture of you without being obvious and the "doing something else on his cell phone" while he was walking out to the parking lot was him checking out the fruits of his labor. Still creepy? Yes. Where you right in trying to evade and distance yourself? Certainly.
Just my $.02, if it's even worth that.
Kim

Hi Kim. I appreciate your thoughts. Maybe you're right that he was fascinated by me and trying to get closer look, but I find it odd that he was watching me while I was eating at the food court and while I was at JCPenny. I was at the food court for a while and so he could've come up and said hello at that time, but instead he was just sitting there with his cell phone to his ear. I don't know if he was actually talking to someone, but then when I crossed paths with him at JCPenny that's when I remembered seeing him at the food court. Whenever I subtely glanced in his direction, I didn't see him trying to take a photo of me, but based on what I observed it was definitely obvious he followed me as he standing around watching to make sure I wouldn't leave JCPenny to go back into the inner mall. At that point, I knew it was time for me to go and so I did what I did to get out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TxKimberly

I wonder if he was just a cross dresser trying to get up the courage to speak to you?

Dunno sis! I don't think I would do that if I saw another crossdresser if I was in drab. I'd let her go about her business and so she could enjoy being out in femme.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eluuzion

hiya joann,

There are lots of "boogie men" out there. The best way to be safe is to be aware of your surroundings at all times and not dismiss anything that you feel is peculiar. You paid attention...the first step. The goal is always to get away...never to confront. The only real "weapon" is people. Never run away aimlessly...always run toward people.

Malls are prime hunting grounds for muggers, rapists and theives, particularly parking lots. They are "fringe" areas, which are "in between" areas that criminals love. Just enough people passing by to find victims, not enough traffic to hinder carrying out the attack on the preoccupied shoppers. A 30 second window is all that is needed, and an easy escape route to vanish.

Your best move is to go to a mall security guard and request an escort, as well as identifying the "suspect". Going unescorted to your car is exactly the opportunity a "stalker" is looking for. You are alone in a "cage" that muffles any screams...bad idea.

Knowing what is normal for a "fringe" area is the key to safety. Parking lots... They wait for friends by entrances or go directly to and from a car. People with decent vehicles do not stand around leaning or sitting on them either. People do not "loiter" or wander around in between cars unless they are up to no good. If they move toward YOU, immediately head for the populated area closest to you. Never let anyone closer that 20 feet to you, and never respond to the "excuse me, could you..." set-ups...never stop walking.

The worst thing you can ever do is allow somebody to take you to a second location. Crooks know the penalty for kidnapping is close to a murder rap, so there is every incentive for them to kill you. You must fight the battle if you are in that situation, as once you are mobile...you are almost certain to not return alive.

Don't pull a weapon if you aren't willing to use it. If you are relying on it to scare someone away so you don't have to use it, you shouldn't have one. A violent person knows the difference between a bluff and his world of violence. You will just disrespect him and he will take that gun away from you...and he will not hesitate for a second to shoot you with it. His world is the reality...yours is the fluff and fantasy of movies and "karate" advertising promises of defense training (that will be useless on the street).

So, other than that...Have fun holiday shopping! hhehehehehe:eek::heehee:

:love:

Thanks for your comments. They're all very informative.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5150 Girl

I woul have told a sales associate that the dude was folowing me, and had them call security to check this joker out.

Next time, I'll have to think about that. But on the other hand, if the guy could see that I have contacted security he could make up any BS and deny it and so security would have to let him go. Well, I was not going to take that chance and so my instincts just told me to get out as soon as possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annaliese2010

Golly Joann, the incident you recounted had me on the edge of my seat! Dash the thought of any harm coming to such a pretty face!

Yes, this is a violent world and when you see it on the news you just never imagine it could happen to you. And yes, I guess the ultimate peace of mind is had by carrying a LadySmith or lil pink Glock. Or is it. I did at one time - permits to carry are so easy to qualify for in these parts. But the weight, the responsibility, the ever present knowing, wondering, worrying if I could pull the trigger & waste a life...yadda yadda yadda... It's all such a downer and just a bit much.

So now I just sometimes carry a pepper spray gun. Or a small but powerful little stun gun which fits easy in a purse or pocket - its square shaped, lightweight and about the size of a makeup compact case. Non-lethal force is more me. Except in bed that is - or what I've been told anyways. :o

It was definitely a scary experience and I hope that never happens to any of my fellow sisters.
Fortunately, nothing violent has ever happened to me, but when my brother was gunned down and left for dead by guy high on crack, I told myself that if I have to shoot, I will shoot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7sisters

Ditto. And never never never never leave a crowd and walk to your car alone. Or go to any place alone. Safety in numbers. Trust your instincts. I'm glad you did.

This really takes the fun out of dressing. I love to dress nicely. I just hate HATE the attention.

Great point sis!
It brings out a new perspective on things doesn't it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKAMichelle

You should be packing. That way you won't feel so afraid of people like that. The worst part is that he probably meant no harm, but never the less it did bother you. Glad is was a non-event in the end.

Right on sis! Yeah maybe he had good intentions, but it definitely caused a blip in my radar which bothered me. It's the way he looked, the way he was following me, and how he was watching me which brought up the red flag. I just trusted my gut instincts and left without escalating things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joann Smith

I do not know Joann.....Eventhough I know that being safe is always the best policy....I can tell you that not every guy who follows you around a mall, or looks at you and drools....means to do you harm... might as well get use to it ... as i have said before you are really really cute and things like this are gonna happen to you ...
Alot of guys are just plain Idiots when it comes to how to approach a woman....espically a really attractive woman...Oh and even it he did read you. You might be surprised as to how many "straight guys" that are really attracted to transwomen but they just want to keep it on the low.. Which only makes them act totally totally stupid ... Not sure what this guys deal was... He might have been a Joann07 fan....that or he wanted to eat your liver...

How to read a guys mind while price checking shoes at the same time is an old GG ninga trick thats is tough to master....

You have alot to learn in the womans world..

Joann

Hey sis! It's easy to say "what if" or I should've done this or should've done that after the fact, but if you were in my shoes experiencing it from my point of view it's a whole different perspective. Maybe you're right and he was just some guy who meant no harm, but just doesn't know how to approach a woman.
Well this time, it just didn't seem right and so I trusted my instincts and made the wisest and safest decision.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Southern Michele

Caution and "feets do your stuff" are your best options. You did a good job of trying to avoid the creep. If you can stay away, even if you have to shop all night, that is better than a confrontation. When I learned about concealed carry years ago it was a very sobering lesson the responsibilities you take on. You should not go there lightly and do your homework. Massod Ayoob has written several very good small books to let you know your rights. They are probably not what you think. Pull your gun and now the "mugger" is also fearing for his life and can shoot you and be on the side of the law. If you carry, learn to use it and PRACTICE. A better option is for you to get into your car. A car is a formidable weapon. I love studying all the optimum "Navy Seal" responses you can see on TV but unless you are one of those, simply haul ass. Pepper spray is better used on your food. IMHO

Thank you Michele. I'm glad I got out of that situation because it just felt very uncomfortable.
As for carrying a concealed weapon, yes, I am well aware of the responsiblities. Now here in Florida, a new law was just enacted called "Stand your ground" which basically says: " A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity, and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony."
In other words, you had to retreat from the danger and use deadly force as a last resort. Now you don't have to retreat and can stand your ground with force if you feel your life or someone else's is in danger.

With that said, I know I can use my concealed when I am in grave danger, but I will only use responsibly and as a last resort if all my other options have been expended.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debglam

Scary Joann but you did everything right girl! The BEST way to stay safe is to see trouble coming and avoid it. We all have to be aware of what is going on around us and to trust our instincts.

Debby

Thank you Debby. I think my gut instinct to get away was the right decision based on what I was sensing that day.
11-26-2010, 09:23 PM
Aleca

First I am happy you are safe. I have to play the Devil's Advocate here with my 2 cents, what I am thinking here is this was some type of security personnel. Even though he had blue jeans on it is not uncommon for security to go undercover in a store, if they are intent on catching someone (I have run into plain clothes security in these type of places before). You probably became suspicious to him, first because you were crossdressed he may have thought/ stereotyped you were CD in order to hide yourself to commit a crime and second because you didn't acknowledge him when he said "excuse me." Do you get tense/ over anxious any when you are out in public in the mall (just from being crossdressed?) and were you that day? Someone acting nervous (body language, facial expression, isolating oneself) are always going to be behaviors that law enforcement personnel are trained to look for). I know from my own experiences and attitude I have learned this.
Maybe go back to the store in drab and check this guy out?
11-26-2010, 09:36 PM
7sisters

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleca

First I am happy you are safe. I have to play the Devil's Advocate here with my 2 cents, what I am thinking here is this was some type of security personnel. Even though he had blue jeans on it is not uncommon for security to go undercover in a store.

This happened to me. I can stand at the shampoo counter for one full hour reading labels before I decide what to buy. I noticed a man staring at me. I asked one of the sales men who he was, and they said he was security. So I went up to him and told him I was not robbing, but I have specific needs and thus need to read.

Many supermarkets hire 'spys' to check out what profile of customers are checking what kinds of brands. These men and women are marketing specialists. Highly skilled professionals who will look at you and see how and what attracts you to a brand. If you are in the USA, they take retail extremely seriously. SO most big store have this thing going on. The end result is they can make right stock decisions.
11-26-2010, 09:38 PM
GingerLeigh

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandra-leigh

Concealed weapon permits are very difficult to obtain in Canada.
http://canadacarry.com/
I do not have any hard figures as to how difficult it is to get. About a month ago, I read a newspaper article here about a person who did have a permit; if I recall (and I might not), the article indicated that that person was one of only 3 private citizens in Canada who was authorized to carry a concealed weapon. I have no way of validating that figure.

I know of nobody other than the police that can carry a concealed firearm in Canada. I'm not saying it's not true, just that I never heard of it. One can obtain a permit for a handgun, but the restrictions are so stringent that it's hardly worth the trouble unless you are a collector or competitive shooter. I have long guns and I had many hoops to go through to get it. I have even more hoops to go through to keep them. I hunt, but am wondering if it's worth the aggravation.

Ginger
11-26-2010, 10:59 PM
Alice Torn

Dittos to what Doc, and Eluuzion said, and a light ditto, to what TexKim said! People are super complex. We all grt weird ideas, but almost always weigh them. Once, i followed a gorgeous waitress, who was walking to her job. I was on my bicycle. I ended up going to the place, and writing her offers for friendship letters. She never replied, must have thought i was a nut. Lucky i wasn't arrested, but that was 1978. Now, as a dresser, i can understand what she felt like.
11-27-2010, 01:28 AM
joann07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleca

First I am happy you are safe. I have to play the Devil's Advocate here with my 2 cents, what I am thinking here is this was some type of security personnel. Even though he had blue jeans on it is not uncommon for security to go undercover in a store, if they are intent on catching someone (I have run into plain clothes security in these type of places before). You probably became suspicious to him, first because you were crossdressed he may have thought/ stereotyped you were CD in order to hide yourself to commit a crime and second because you didn't acknowledge him when he said "excuse me." Do you get tense/ over anxious any when you are out in public in the mall (just from being crossdressed?) and were you that day? Someone acting nervous (body language, facial expression, isolating oneself) are always going to be behaviors that law enforcement personnel are trained to look for). I know from my own experiences and attitude I have learned this.
Maybe go back to the store in drab and check this guy out?

Thanks! Whether or not this guy was just a random guy or a plain clothes security guard I'm just glad I got out. Whenever something doesn't feel right to me, I do what I feel is right and I think I made the right decision at that time.

I've heard about these protection/watching plain clothed security guys, but as I mentioned, I noticed him while I was eating at the food court well before I went over to JCPenny. As soon as I got to the mall, I walked straight to the food court, but not before making a quick trip to the ladies room, and then ordered my food. The quesiton is, why would he be watching me while I was eating at the food court? There's no way I could steal food from a food vendor because I pay and then get served. JCPenny was the first store I stopped in after I ate and so then I have an encounter with him at that store. When he said "excuse me" I wasn't sure who we was talking to, initially, as I was minding my own business. But then when I stopped to browse one of the clothing racks, I realized he was talking to me because I could see him in my peripheral vision looking at me with this strange look. Based on that, it's obvious he followed me from the food court. And then I noticed him still watching me, while talking or acting like he's talking on his cell phone, after I moved into a different section. Based on his actions, I found it very suspicious and that's when the red flag went up.

I've been out dressed well over a 100 times now and I am to the point where I am completely comfortable going out in public and interacting ordinary every people. I don't think about where I want to go because things just come natural to me. With that said, I presented myself appropriately as a woman and wore a baby blue cami and denim mini skirt which blended me in just like any other young looking GG who was at the mall that day. I wasn't feeling nervous whatsoever and was just going about my business, but at the same time, always being observant. I don't think I was acting suspicious in any way because that day wasn't any different than any other day I've been out while running errands or shopping. I've been to this mall before and I have never seen this guy before so it is my assumption that he was not a plain clothed security guard.

If this was some random guy who just wanted to compliment me, why didn't he say anything while I was at the food court? I was there for a while so he could've just walked up to me and said hello, but he didn't. He was just sitting there across the way, talking or acting like he was talking on his cell phone. Also, the walk from the food court to JCPenny was a short distance which took maybe 3 to 5 minutes and so he could've come up to me while I was walking over there. Who knows what his intentions were, good or bad, but I didn't want to find out because I was already feeling uncomfortable so I trusted my gut instincts.

Hugs!
11-27-2010, 01:40 AM
Zoie

Wow be careful I am glad you are ok. See in Alaska I usually carry concealed or when dressed it's at least in the truck or house depending on where I am. I have more guns then I have shoes and I have alot of shoes lol. If u can't carry then yes get something pepper spray, ninja stars, or something!
11-27-2010, 02:06 AM
JOJO44

Glad you are safe. My only comment, other than repeating what everyone else said about safety first, is that he has good taste in women!:D:D
11-27-2010, 02:42 AM
sterling12

Previously, I had nothing to add, except that I reckon it could have been worse! But, something did occur to me. We both have been hanging out over at CitySide, and there are a LOT of males around that place who have taken notice of us. Could this Guy have possibly been A Customer on Karaoke Night, recognized you, and got intrigued? Remember, a lot of them think that all of us are Gay, and maybe he was "interested."

But if that's The Case, it was still bad form! He would have made a lot more "headway," if he recognized you from CS and said so. But, it's a learning experience with "Creepy Guys," and in a couple of weeks we will be dealing with A Bunch of them at The Party over at Loren's. You now know how to "maneuver" out of The Way. Loren's Place is a lot tighter than The Mall, but I still think it's useful practice.

Peace and Love, Joanie
11-27-2010, 10:14 AM
Aleca

Thanks for clarifying all that. I apologize if I sounded like I was assuming stuff (evaluating from own experiences and stories I hear from others in similar situations). Hopefully that is one of those situations that won't happen again and that you don't let it discourage you from returning to the Mall. I know I will be doing the same soon myself, so support you in your cause. Whoever it was (security or someone else) was crossing the line encroaching into your personal space like that. Security is not supposed to bully people like that as they are not supposed to upset the "customer" but sometimes they do - and they can get removed from their post acting like that - not only acting like that but leaving their post as well.
11-27-2010, 11:18 AM
Julogden

Back when I used to go out a lot, I had a couple experiences of being followed when driving in my car on the way to a local club for a night out. The first time, I pulled into the parking lot of a police station, which worked well, my follower left, the other time I continued to the club and got inside before my pursuer did, and told the owner (who was always working the door) what was going on, so he refused to let the guy in. It's quite nerve-wracking when stuff like that happens. Another time in that club, I had a guy who was pestering me the whole time that I was there, wanted my phone number, wanted to go out with me, etc., even after telling him no with no uncertainty, and again, the club owner came to my rescue, told him to leave me alone or he'd be thrown out, so that made the guy leave me alone, but he tried to follow me out of the club when I left and the owner stopped him until I could drive away.

It's quite unnerving when that stuff happens.

Carol
11-27-2010, 05:10 PM
MargaretJ

Only had one experience of what I thought was undue attention while I was out. I always think safety first, and on this occasion I had to take a roundabout route to get back to my car, but could see clearly around me if the person got to close. I must admit I was a little worried. As some others have said crowds or busy places are reasonably safe, and any of you who are new to going out, a busy place is actually less scary than it may sound.

Being in the UK we can't wander around armed to the teeth, even pepper spray is illegal here. A bunch of keys makes a good weapon though, but not as good as an M16 with an underslung grenade launcher.:D
11-27-2010, 07:37 PM
joann07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoie

Wow be careful I am glad you are ok. See in Alaska I usually carry concealed or when dressed it's at least in the truck or house depending on where I am. I have more guns then I have shoes and I have alot of shoes lol. If u can't carry then yes get something pepper spray, ninja stars, or something!

Wow! You must have quite an arsenal to fully arm a battalion. LOL!
Yeah if I can't carry my concealed with me, I can use my car keys as a short jabbing weapon. All I need to do hold the key chain loop in my fist and have the keys sticking out between my fingers sort of like brass knuckless. A quick jab in the face and part of the body would do some serious damage.

Thanks sis!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOJO44

Glad you are safe. My only comment, other than repeating what everyone else said about safety first, is that he has good taste in women!:D:D

Definitely safety first when going out especially by yourself.
Thanks girlfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterling12

Previously, I had nothing to add, except that I reckon it could have been worse! But, something did occur to me. We both have been hanging out over at CitySide, and there are a LOT of males around that place who have taken notice of us. Could this Guy have possibly been A Customer on Karaoke Night, recognized you, and got intrigued? Remember, a lot of them think that all of us are Gay, and maybe he was "interested."

But if that's The Case, it was still bad form! He would have made a lot more "headway," if he recognized you from CS and said so. But, it's a learning experience with "Creepy Guys," and in a couple of weeks we will be dealing with A Bunch of them at The Party over at Loren's. You now know how to "maneuver" out of The Way. Loren's Place is a lot tighter than The Mall, but I still think it's useful practice.

Peace and Love, Joanie

You could be right Joanie. Maybe he is one who goes to City Side on a regular basis and he just happened to recognize me and just wanted to say something. If I go to City Side again, and I recognize him, then I'll assume that's where he and was trying to make contact. We'll see the next time I go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aleca

Thanks for clarifying all that. I apologize if I sounded like I was assuming stuff (evaluating from own experiences and stories I hear from others in similar situations). Hopefully that is one of those situations that won't happen again and that you don't let it discourage you from returning to the Mall. I know I will be doing the same soon myself, so support you in your cause. Whoever it was (security or someone else) was crossing the line encroaching into your personal space like that. Security is not supposed to bully people like that as they are not supposed to upset the "customer" but sometimes they do - and they can get removed from their post acting like that - not only acting like that but leaving their post as well.

No problem sis. It's all good.
I'll be back at this mall again and let's just hope that that was an isolated occurence, but I will never let down my guard an always remain vigilant and attentive of the people around me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julogden

Back when I used to go out a lot, I had a couple experiences of being followed when driving in my car on the way to a local club for a night out. The first time, I pulled into the parking lot of a police station, which worked well, my follower left, the other time I continued to the club and got inside before my pursuer did, and told the owner (who was always working the door) what was going on, so he refused to let the guy in. It's quite nerve-wracking when stuff like that happens. Another time in that club, I had a guy who was pestering me the whole time that I was there, wanted my phone number, wanted to go out with me, etc., even after telling him no with no uncertainty, and again, the club owner came to my rescue, told him to leave me alone or he'd be thrown out, so that made the guy leave me alone, but he tried to follow me out of the club when I left and the owner stopped him until I could drive away.

It's quite unnerving when that stuff happens.

Carol

Wow girlfriend! What an experience for you. I'm glad you had people around to protect you.
Thank you for sharing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretJ

Only had one experience of what I thought was undue attention while I was out. I always think safety first, and on this occasion I had to take a roundabout route to get back to my car, but could see clearly around me if the person got to close. I must admit I was a little worried. As some others have said crowds or busy places are reasonably safe, and any of you who are new to going out, a busy place is actually less scary than it may sound.

Being in the UK we can't wander around armed to the teeth, even pepper spray is illegal here. A bunch of keys makes a good weapon though, but not as good as an M16 with an underslung grenade launcher.:D

I very much agree with you sis.
An M16 would be nice to have slung on my shoulder next to my purse. LOL!
11-29-2010, 12:40 PM
danielletorresani

Though I love the idea of going out and doing activities en femme, the thought of someone stalking or even just trying to hit on my scares me to death. If I go out dressed up, I really don't want a single soul talking to me. Maybe if I was able to replicate a female voice effectively, but I'm way too weirded out by what a reaction of someone trying to talk to me would be when they hear my man-voice.