How has crossdressing changed in your lifetime?

Hi all,

I was just wondering about the changes in approaches to crossdressing have changed in your lifetime. Anything from personal accounts to socio-political commentaries is welcome here. Has it changed drastically from when you were a child? Has there been any particular decade or time period which you would pinpoint as being pivotal to crossdressing? Have any pop cultural movements made a big impact? Have any particular films or bands helped to alter perspectives? What has been the impact of the internet? Put simply, tell me how crossdressing has changed in your lifetime.

Even as a 21 year old myself I have witnessed some changes with a greater blurring of the gender boundaries.
I'm really interested to hear from you all. Please add your insights.

x

Among the factors you mentioned that affected crossdressing, I think the internet was the biggest for me. I grew up before the internet, and as many other crossdressers of that era experienced, there was no outlet, no resource, for us to discuss what we were experiencing without outing ourselves and subjecting ourselves to ridicule, punishment, or forced treatment. Now we can have an open online presence of our femme identities while maintaining privacy of our real-life identities. This forum is great.

I've seen fashion trends change, sometimes significantly, over the decades. But I seem to be stuck in a prior era. When I was a child even before I started crossdressing (when I believe my brain locked in certain things that I was attracted to), women (both in person and magazine/catalog photos) wore deep red lipstick, accentuated the eyes, and wore high spike-heeled pumps. I still think those things are the epitome of a glamorous woman, and are an essential part of my dressup routine. Through the years, other things got locked in as well: eyelashes, short skirts, certain wig styles/colors, painted nails, jewelry, etc. My desire to pass is far outweighed by my desire to achieve a certain look that, in my eyes, perfects me in femme mode.

I agree with Nicole, the internet has made a tremendous difference in having others share their experiences and showing support of others. When I was growing up, I thought that I was a total freak of nature and that NO ONE else on earth was a male wanting to wear female items of clothing or feeling that way. The internet has opened my eyes and this site particularly has helped me, and I thank each one of you who contributes here.

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

Among the factors you mentioned that affected crossdressing, I think the internet was the biggest for me. I grew up before the internet, and as many other crossdressers of that era experienced, there was no outlet, no resource, for us to discuss what we were experiencing without outing ourselves and subjecting ourselves to ridicule, punishment, or forced treatment. Now we can have an open online presence of our femme identities while maintaining privacy of our real-life identities. This forum is great.

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I agree with Nicole also, the Internet made for the greatist change in my life oof CDing.

Danielle:)

I'll agree with others that the Internet has brought the most significant changes to the way I approach crossdressing. Like so many others, it let me know that I was not alone in all of this, that I wasn't some sort of gender freak, and that we all (well, most!) are really just normal people who found a wonderful experience in the feminine experience. The Internet also gave me a conduit for shopping and purchasing my own wardrobe and accessories. Who knows where I'd be with it all today had the Internet never been developed. Gosh! Thanks Al Gore!!!!

I would also agree that the Internet has made a big difference but to a certain extent it is more within the TG community than out of it but you have the knock on effect that if more see that there are others like them and feel easier about going out then the more the public sees it , but that is not the only thing that has made it a bit more acceptable in different geographical areas, there has to be a big acknowledgement of the gay community which to a certain extent the TG community has ridden on the back of that and got benefits from it , then you have television , and that was the fist time i realised what i was when i saw a program about Transvestites and thought " holly cow i must be one of those" as before i just thought i had a few odd ways , so yes it has changed from when i started out on this journey but it is still a split change , as i said geographical area will play a big difference so will age as i feel that being younger you can be more accepted but being older you can be looked upon as shall we say not normal .
The internet has made it a lot more easier for the wive`s/SOs to get information and help/support but that is still within the TG community, the general public just do not go looking for it as they have no need to but things are still a lot better than years ago when you had not dare let it out that you crossed dressed , now you get some acceptance,some that just do not care and the odd few that will go out of their way to make trouble so it has gained in some ways but still got a long way to go , it needs some sort of mass brake out by all to really get things accepted but that is difficult as we all have a different degree/style of doing it so it is going to take a little longer yet but it is heading that way .( i hope ).
One thing i will say and that is if you are young and want to do it ,do it now as it is a lot easier for you to grow up with your friends knowing about it and getting use to it than springing it on them in 10 years time .

I will agree too about the internet.
The biggest change how ever for me is having a wife now that accepts my crossdressing and helps me with it.
My first wife never understood and hated it, which at times made me hate it. Now all is GREAT!:)

The power and freedom of the internet really must have been quite astonishingly liberating for some of you more *ahem*...mature members. Like I said I'm only 21 so an age in which I would not be able to log on to the internet and know that there are others who share the same interests is a little hard to comprehend. It really must have been very isolating. The ease with which we can buy clothes on the internet must also have come as an incredible advancement as well, giving us the opportunity to only venture out in to public to buy clothes when we feel comfortable with the idea.

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Originally Posted by Joanne f

it needs some sort of mass brake out by all to really get things accepted but that is difficult as we all have a different degree/style of doing it so it is going to take a little longer yet but it is heading that way .( i hope )

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How do we think we could achieve this mass break out? If it needed saying I'm totally up for a transgender revolution *dons red and black neckerchief*

While the Internet has definitely made some changes in my life as a crossdresser, the really major change occured when my dear wife died 6 years ago. She knew that I was a CD when we married and accepted me as such. Since she was the expert, she always did Stephanie's wig and makeup whenever Stephanie went out in public. I have never been good with either one! Now that she is gone I still go out dressed enfemme. But the difference is that from the neck up I am all man, and from the neck down I am Stephanie!! In plain english, a guy in a skirt!! Or sometimes a dress!

BTW, Cait, I have grandchildren older than you!! Yes, I have been a CD for most of 60+ years!!

I am not sure that isolating is quite the right word as it was inbred into you that you just do not tell other people plus you do not realise that there are others like you out there so you just do what you do in secret but at the same time you do not really realise that you are keeping secrets that need shearing ( i know some wive`s/SOs are going to find that hard to understand) but that is how it works.
Yes how to have a mass brake out that is the million dollar question yet it is rarely talked about on here on here no doubt due to the diversity of the TG community what would suit one would not suit the other .

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Originally Posted by sissystephanie

BTW, Cait, I have grandchildren older than you!! Yes, I have been a CD for most of 60+ years!!

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Crikey! Just goes to show the diversity of the community we are part of I suppose.

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Originally Posted by Joanne f

I am not sure that isolating is quite the right word as it was inbred into you that you just do not tell other people plus you do not realise that there are others like you out there so you just do what you do in secret but at the same time you do not really realise that you are keeping secrets that need shearing ( i know some wive`s/SOs are going to find that hard to understand) but that is how it works.
Yes how to have a mass brake out that is the million dollar question yet it is rarely talked about on here on here no doubt due to the diversity of the TG community what would suit one would not suit the other .

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I can't begin to imagine just how bad that must have felt to not realise that others felt the same way as you. From a young age I've always known that I wasn't alone in crossdressing. Again, its one of those things that is difficult to comprehend when you have grown up in a society that doesn't have those restrictions.

Yes, talk of a transgender revoultion/mass break out is rather conspicuous by its absence on here.

While I agree that the internet age brought the biggest change I'd like to mention 2 movies that I feel had a big impact. "Boys don't Cry" dealt with transsexualism in an informative way and "Too Wong Foo" had a couple of macho types like Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes not afraid to take those roles and present them in a serious way.

For me some of the changes were seeing people like me on talk shows first and finally knowing that I was not alone, then being able to look on the internet and find a support group and start attending meetings. It was so important to be able to talk and be accepted as a woman without feeling like you were doing something wrong which really helped remove the guilt of the whole lifestyle. Of course the biggest problem I see nowadays is that it always seem that I am overdressed for very few women wear dresses and heels anymore unless it is a special occasion, but I still may get some looks but I also receive some nice compliments.

I think the internet was the biggest for me. I too grew up before the internet, and for years I thought I was the only one that crossdressed . I was caught quite a few times by my folks and they made me feel dirty and that I had some serious problems. So I purged for the first time and didn't dress again till i was about 30. Thats when I found out thru the internet that I was not alone and that the things that I was feeling were not so abnormal and they were alot of other "girls" like me out there. Now I'm going to start venturing out in the world as the girl I know that I was born to be. Thank you internet!!

Its changed HUGE. When I was a kid crossdressing was considered a perverted, and lower form of being a faggot. (I used that word intentionally because that’s the word that was used along with all of its hatful connotations.) And that’s what I used to think of myself, except that I'm not gay, so that really messed with my self image. I was the only one like myself and I was such a huge loser that I couldn’t even get being gay right! Until recently, that’s how I thought of myself.

That started to change in the mid 80’s. Remember the show Bosom Buddy's? At least some of the hatred was turning to laughter.

Now thanks to the internet and sights like this I know I am not a pervert. Most of the public still thinks we are a subset of homosexuality, but that seems to be changing too. Take for instance the experiences of myself and others in the post by AKAMichelle Unusual Situations? I don’t know the answer...

I don’t keep the secret where I live because I have a problem with myself anymore, but because some people in this town would absolutely become violent with me or vandalize my building.

Samantha still has to drive 2 hours to Minneapolis to feel safe in public, but I’m a lot happier now. My life would have been much different if I was 21 in 2011 instead of in 1985.

Ditto on the internet for me. During my experimental period (1952-1960) I knew I loved the look and feel of girls clothes but didn't know why. I had six siblings, five of them sisters, but on body to confide in about my interest. In 1960 I started dressing whenever the opportunity arose but still didn't understand why and thought I was the only one in the world who did such a wierd thing. I experienced a great deal of guilt, shame, and anxiety keeping my secret.

When dating two future spouses I told each one of them that I enjoyed wearing women's clothes, which neither one approved of, however each one married me despite my interest. Again with on body to confide in I was relegated to the closet with my dressing until the internet finally burst the bubble of secrecy, guilt and shame. So I do agree with the other girls that the internet has probably been the most influential change I've witnessed in my 51 years of crossdressing.

I feel pretty much the same as many of the replies to this thread. I too thought I was all alone and had no one to talk to. I told my future wife while we dated (20 years ago) that I liked wearing women's clothes and she was accepting at first but became unapproving after a year, so back in the closet I went. It was lonely and my self image suffered.
What's amazing is how long it took me to google crossdressing. I just didn't think of it. That's when I found this site last Oct and it has helped me so much. I'm seeing a therapist now (after reading of others experiences) and my world will open up. Steps.
My marriage is almost on the rocks, but I haven't given up yet and we are going to get help, but that's another story.

Internet.

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I agree with Nicole, the internet has made a tremendous difference in having others share their experiences and showing support of others. When I was growing up, I thought that I was a total freak of nature and that NO ONE else on earth was a male wanting to wear female items of clothing or feeling that way. The internet has opened my eyes and this site particularly has helped me, and I thank each one of you who contributes here.

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Well said!

The internet has been the biggest change for me
I am now aware of the numbers of people that feel the same way
If I had had the information growing up then that I have now
My crossdressing would have never stayed in the closet for all these years

This site has really helped take away all the guilt that I felt for so many years
I now realize that I have a right to be me and other people may not accept it
when they find out but that is their problem ,not mine

Cait I can only envy you , 21 with access to all this information
don't waste these years when you are really able to pass and enjoy current fashions
The world may not be totally accepting but It sure is better now than when I was your age in 1971

When I started cross dressing in the very early 60s it was illegal. Being caught would usually mean a trip to jail and a charge of wearing a disguise to hide your identity. At the very least, you would be given a very scary demeaning by some bubba cop. People knew about guys dressing up in women’s clothes, but people didn’t really understand anything about it. I question if the average person understands it better today. Even back then it didn’t seem to bother women as much as men.

With the talk show craze of the 70s and 80s some understanding of the different life styles all people encounter brought about knowledge. Some of it was good, but a lot of it was derogatory. In the last 20 years vast increases in the amount of news, documentaries and internet sites have given anyone interested resources that have never been available before.

As for dressing, I have gone out dressed throughout all the years. In my youth I was told that I made a very pretty girl. I had a good figure so passing was not a problem, and I enjoyed being out and about. I loved pretty dresses and the lingerie sets of matching bras, slips, girdles, and panties. Even knowing if something happened I could be sent to jail. I really loved driving back when air conditioning in cars was not common so you rolled down your windows, pulled up your dress so the lace of your slip showed as well as your nylons reflecting the sun or street lights.

Today I stick to shorts and tops, the uniform of the area I live in. While I wear bras I don’t try to pass. The years have not been kind. Some people notice, but most are too busy to bother looking at anyone. I haven’t really been hassled, but then I’m like everyone else, busy.

As kid in the 70s, because of television (Barney Miller), the movies (Dressed to Kill and Tootsie) and The Encyclopedia Britanica, I thought that my cross dressing and gender issues were at best a joke and at worst pathological. Best kept deeply hidden or else.
The talk shows in the 80s that started to feature TGs and TSs helped address some of the patological associations.

The thing that first made me feel good about myself strangely was "The Crying Game". There was something about what Jaye Davidson brought to that movie made me hold my head up higher. Then the internet, I was 30 before I had a personal internet connection, and I was on line less than one day before I typed in "transgender". In all of those personal pages I found people who felt like me and I have never felt alone since.

Now the world is completely different to what I grew up with. It is far from ideal. But today girls are growing up out of the closet or at least not being told they are "sick" from very source of information available.

The internet is possibly the best thing that has ever happened for our community.

Agree on the internet

let me know I wasnt alone and sure made shopping easier :-)

I think I am slowly seeing people becoming more accepting.
At the very least the early stereotypes that all CD were well "less than sane" seem to be going away.

The early talk shows that had crossdressers were a big relief to me, Mike Douglas, Geraldo, Maury...

I just looked up 3 libraries--not one had the most important book--"My husband wears my clothes" by Peggy Rudd. Thanks Peg and Mel.

My parents threatened to send my to a psychiatrist.
The early adult bookstores had a few magizines--"Ladylike" and "Tapestry" for instance and then the internet, yes! First at the library computer, I found the "Fictionmania" site then I got my own online connection. i was not alone. No longer.
Shortly after I met my first real-life sister crossdresser.

Well I don't recall any crossdressing where I grew up in the Highlands. But time marches on & things are always changing...

[SIZE="6"]There can be only one.[/SIZE]

The internet, no question about it. The sense of community that has developed as a result of the www has boosted my confidence to become more open and social about my cding. And that confidence has inspired me to go out dressed more often, and to meet other crossdressers and develop friendships.
Yes, I'd say the internet has been revolutionary.

I remember as a young child, dressing and being ashamed as it was one of many sources of ridicule that some of us were subjected. I had no idea that there were even crossdressers. I remember transvestites and the half male half female at easter shows, I also remember some shows like the Danny LarRue show featuring a man dressed as a woman and projecting an image of glamour and respect. I think the rocky horror picture show made more people aware of TV, but CD TG etc mayhave all been labelled as CD. Of course this was about the mid sixties to the mid/late seventies. Even homosexuality was hushed in our household. Looking back I think I was sheltered from the reality of the world. To tell the truth, I never ever thought about girls and women who were FtM, I never ever thought that their could be any.
Dressing in private and not knowing that others did the same, I was very withdrawn and felt very wrong. Now since the internet and forums and blogs and many sites that service CD,TG,TV, MTF and FTM societies. I have found out that I am not alone and this forum has widened my mind and accept many others whose thoughts differ at times to mine.
It seems that CDng is still frowned upon by many, but the boundaries are indeed lowering. I think the acceptance by the medical and health fraternity has helped immensely. People using HRT to help them emotionally and physically transition under medical guidance have some journey that years ago may have them in a mental institution.
AntiDiscrimination laws has also helped keep MtF and FtM as well as gay etc safer.
Attitudes are also very slowly changing and that maybe through so many cultures that accept MTF people better than others.
So many very brave people who have publically announced their gender issues have helped reinforce health and medical reasons to continue helping. Governments and laws being revised to allow an easy transitioning into society as an opposite member of their sex at birth.
The internet now has helped to see so many people who do have gender issues and it is not just one or two people locally. Science and embryology advancements also have helped the growth in CD awareness particularly during the embryo growth stages.
I do hope that it continues so our younger CDs have a chance to live their life as a free person within the body that was naturally intended, and not be subjected to abuse, criticism and rejection from many who may believe that mental unstablness is the only reason for someone to seek to dress as a member of the opposite sex.

I think the internet has everything to do with crossdressing.

20 years ago, no one knew where to go. The strong acted on their impulses, and if you weren't gay you became super-confused. What outlets were there?

Lo , and behold came the internet and websites like susanamarques.com, and urnotalone.com....then more & more people established an en femme identity. I learned where CD'ers got together and hung out & socialized.

I've been out & about for over a year, and never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I'd ever be every place imaginable, whether it be shopping malls, restaurants, Starbucks, Barnes & noble booksotres, clubs both gay & straight, supermarkets & drug stores, fast food chains, gas stations, you name it. Two years ago I thought it unfathomable tht I would wear a dress anywhere in public, now I just go whenver my schedule allows. I'm talking broad daylight.
My en femme identity is literally the female counterpart of me. I finally accepted it and now I live it.
I'm also a guy who enjoys working on a table saw and fixing an antqiue car until my knuckles are bloody.

Great thread! No question about it, the Internet changed everything. We also owe a debt to the gay community for busting down so many barriers, so now it's not a crime to be seen in public. I chuckled over the comments about the changes in women's fashion, now that we finally get to wear dresses, it seems like we're the only ones sometimes :)

I don't believe anything is all that different. Sure the INTERNET has given us the ability to find others like us, and many of us older CD's spent years thinking we where the only one. But I read the thoughts of the young new members that come in here, and I here the same thing we older ones where saying 40 or 50 years ago. Fear, we are still afraid of the way we are treated, we are still afraid to tell people who we really are. We still live in the shadows of society, we still complain of lack of acceptance. And after reading AKAMichelle's post on Why, We still can't understand how people can like us if they know the truth about who we are. Things are different, but still somethings still seem to be so much the same.
Tina B.

The hands down winner is the Internet! It's been the catalyst for so many changes. If we look at the changes for the crossdresser in the last twenty years, mostly because of the Internet and gay/lesbian movement, and if we see as much change in the next twenty years I personally think we will be accepted in public. Of course there will be some that will still harbor resentment toward us then as they do now toward the gay/lesbian brothers and sisters.

I'm one of the mature (nice word for older) sisters here. I go back into the late '40s, for you 21 year olds thats just after WW2, and look at the changes since then you have to say, WOW!

We know were not alone, we have sisters we correspond with, we can buy our on clothing, we can share pictures, we can go out in public, and we can even change our sex! Thats all happened in the last 60 years. What will the next 60 years bring. I really regret I won't be able to stick around to see it. You young girls carry the banner into the future.

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Originally Posted by Cait

I was just wondering about the changes in approaches to crossdressing have changed in your lifetime. Anything from personal accounts to socio-political commentaries is welcome here. Has it changed drastically from when you were a child? Has there been any particular decade or time period which you would pinpoint as being pivotal to crossdressing? Have any pop cultural movements made a big impact? Have any particular films or bands helped to alter perspectives? What has been the impact of the internet? Put simply, tell me how crossdressing has changed in your lifetime.

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[SIZE="2"]Crossdressing used to be a little more visible here and there, but something changed and the outlook of society, as reflected in the media, became harder and less tolerant. The Internet seems to exacerbate the gender-divide and deride any attempt to cross-cultivate, either in terms of dress, sensibilities, or longings beyond one’s actual experience. It alarms me to see young people be so polarized in opinions regarding shades of masculine behavior that don’t fit some pre-determined standard accepted by one’s peers. The fact that I feel compelled to voice MY opinion about this gender agony is disheartening, to say the least – males are expected to be males at this point in time, and any effeminacy on display seems to be ruthlessly hunted down and ridiculed. What’s an effeminate boy to do, except withdraw to the closet and wait for a more forgiving era?
:sad:

There was a time when performers were somewhat gender-unspecific, either because they were themselves, or things were “trending” that way. All this was largely a reaction, or a “coming out” from a gray time in history, and many things contributed to this renaissance in feeling and appearance. It used to be OK to wear bright colors, try things on for size, straddle the genders, and welcome experimentation into your life. Unfortunately, a few bad apples spoiled the enlightenment, and authority figures accordingly pushed their own agendas of drabness – we are now living in an era of hostility, caused no doubt by fear, but it makes me wonder why people continue to allow this to happen. On any given day, you’re allowed to pursue happiness at the expense of the times you’re living in. It should be easier to do so, but somewhere along the line personal happiness was derailed – as far as crossdressing is concerned, it may as well be the 50’s. Little progress has been made, but was there ever any genuine hope that it would be otherwise?
:straightface:[/SIZE]

When they changed the psychiatic journal in the late 70s or 80s. That lifted a big burden off of me because men were still being arrested for CDing. I was out a lot more then than I am now. Also of course is the internet. Where would we all be without it?

The Internet has allowed people who want to know the access to information and other like minded individuals. Movies and Especially Television have done a lager part in making everyone more tolerate of what we used to consider taboo. Remember I love Lucy? we never saw inside their bedroom. Remember The Dick Van Dyke Show? Rob and Laura Petry slept in Twin beds with a Night stand between them but at least we saw their bedroom. Fast forward to Bosom Buddies where we saw cross dressers in everyday situations and they were both str8 guys.

Today Look at shows like Brothers and Sisters and Private Practice. Both very popular shows with open gay marriage, gay cpl adoption, surrogate mothers, bi racial cpls and marriage and bisexuality. No matter where you stand politically or morally on these issues Americans are being conditioned and taugh tolerancece of just about everything and we cross dressers are benefiting from this tolerancece

Back in the 80's and 90's (pre-internet, early AOL days) when I started dressing all the way and going out (I was in my 20's) I would get my information from magazines like Transformation or Nugget. It was highly fetishistic. I met with some ladies at a local support group and would meet in the Hill Country of Central Texas. Now, I shop en-drab or pretty without any problems. Information and contacts are plentiful due to the Internet. I have made some friends on the Internet.

Yes, the Internet has been a great catalyst. Forums and picture sharing help as well as online shopping sites where I can peruse through fashions. I no longer need stacks of magazines or Sunday paper advertisements to know what fashions I can afford.

Another thing that has helped - the affordable digital camera. In the past I would take pictures with a film camera then send everything off to a mail order processer, then in the pseudo digital era of pictures, i would have the film pictures placed on a CD. Now we have digital cameras. I am fortunate to have a high end DSLR now, although my point and shoot works well too in self timer mode. Through my pictures, I can critique my look. The say the camera adds 5 lbs...I think there are at least three more cameras than I prefer to have pointed at me.:heehee:

Tina B and Frederique make good points.

Gender roles seem to be just as and possibly more enforced then they may have been in the past. Just before I reached my teens it seemed as if "freedom" of expression was on its way for everybody. But Aids hit and a re assertion of traditional values came with it. Even the gay rights movement became less "queer" and more "suburban" males who did not act like men were not welcome. It seemed as if everyone kind of "straightened up".

I cant say for sure since the Stonewall/70s generation was a bit before my time, but by the mid 80s it definitely felt like the "party was over".

Almost all the posts describe how things has improved for us, the individuals, especially the freedom provided by the internet. Only Tina and Frederique have made the point that so far as acceptance by the outside world, nothing has changed.

The enormous strides made by gay and homosexuals into general acceptance has been the result of many years of very active self promotion. As the bulk of the acting and applied arts professions have a far greater proportion of those so inclined as members, they are in a very powerful position to promote their life style. If the media are anything to go by, then the political world also has more than its fair share of people of that persuasion, so the MSM follows the trend by encouraging the attitudes of society to change.

There is nothing similar so far as we are concerned; with the odd exception, such as the British artist Grayson Perry there is absolutely no body who attempts to step over the dividing line publically, even he does it in a 'Little Bo Peep' pastiche. Who else stands out apart from the drag artistes, who are n't really representative of us, in fact they encourage a public hardening of attitudes? The odd but sad thing is, that most surveys indicate a higher proporion of men cross dress than are homosexual. Though there has been a general relaxation on our legal position in the Anglosphere, it is actually within a widespread easing of the law and not specifically to benefit our cause. Life has not improved one jot under certain theocracies, internet or not, pity our sisters there.

God I can't even imagine where I would be without the internet since I am only 21, but if I didn't have any capability to understand what was going on would be very tough for the more mature generations of the past. I give credit to the people that didn't have internet before. I hand you girls are a tough group of people.

A lot of us also relied on adult bookstores to get 'literature'. This gave some comfort in knowing that there were some people out ther like us. Most of the literature was of the porn or sexual type. I loved it when I came across my first issue of 'Tapestry". Since the internet I haven't sought any literature like that.

If I look at how things have changed for me personally its been a transition from self loathing to self acceptance. Like many formerly closeted CDs, I vacilated between stolen moments of gratification and months of denial. I can't blame this on my family or SO - it was largely self inflicted. Both my first and present wife knew and accepted my CDing as nothing worse than a harmless personality quirk. I saw it as a grevious flaw...a source of shame. Getting past that (through intensive therapy in the 90's - prior to widespread internet access mind you) was the big changed in my life.

On a broader scale, I agree that the internet has changed a lot of things for CDers, particularly access to information, social connections and abilty to shop. I think there has also been a gradual evolution in terms of social norms. I really do think that society is becoming more accepting and tolerant. At the same timee there's a bit of a backlash from those folks who see a threate in any departure from their particular value set.

Good observation, Junetv (#34) about the digital cameras. I didn't think about that with my post, until you mentioned it, and how true it is. I remember putting my film in the processing envelope and fearing being busted for crossdressing (even by someone who didn't have any reason to care), but that's the kind of fears we crossdressers had when we had to deal with our desires all alone. Besides the privacy digital photography allows, it's much cheaper. Plus you can remove wrinkles and flaws.........uh, that is, if I really had any. haha

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Originally Posted by Fionax

Almost all the posts describe how things has improved for us, the individuals, especially the freedom provided by the internet. Only Tina and Frederique have made the point that so far as acceptance by the outside world, nothing has changed.

The enormous strides made by gay and homosexuals into general acceptance has been the result of many years of very active self promotion. As the bulk of the acting and applied arts professions have a far greater proportion of those so inclined as members, they are in a very powerful position to promote their life style. If the media are anything to go by, then the political world also has more than its fair share of people of that persuasion, so the MSM follows the trend by encouraging the attitudes of society to change.

There is nothing similar so far as we are concerned; with the odd exception, such as the British artist Grayson Perry there is absolutely no body who attempts to step over the dividing line publically, even he does it in a 'Little Bo Peep' pastiche. Who else stands out apart from the drag artistes, who are n't really representative of us, in fact they encourage a public hardening of attitudes? The odd but sad thing is, that most surveys indicate a higher proporion of men cross dress than are homosexual. Though there has been a general relaxation on our legal position in the Anglosphere, it is actually within a widespread easing of the law and not specifically to benefit our cause. Life has not improved one jot under certain theocracies, internet or not, pity our sisters there.

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Fionax I too with there was more support out there for all of us. Today in most metropolitan areas of the country its totally acceptable to see gays and especially Lesbians out doing ordaniry things in public. This site helps alot but as far as the internet its self goes I think it does as much harm as good. Google transgendered and you get some good informative sites. Google crossdress and you get a lot of sites of hairy guys in lingerie doing nasty things to themselves. Youtube has some helpful vids but it is also cluttered with degrading videos too.

What I see as the major problem is this. A lesbian woman dressed rather butch still looks mostly like a female and is accepted for her sexual choice. Gay men most of the time you can't really tell unless they are flaming. A man who is transitioning and on hormones at some point becomes kinda non gender specific in the way they present (at least the ones I personally have seen). ******** usually look more feminine than the average female after implants and facial reconstruction so they have no problems. That leaves Crossdressing Men. Unless you can pass as a female under most everyday enviroments I really doubt that the general public will ever see us as anything more than a guy in a dress wearing lipstick and a wig. I so wish it was not that way but alas it seems to be so

An historical sketch here (of course there are examples of cross dressing way back into history). What the public perception was and how it changed: It starts out with a negative image, the infrequent sensationalized newspaper article where a man dressed as a woman is written up for shock value. Then Krafft-Ebbing included it in his book and labeled it a deviation/perversion (he didn't interview any well adjusted cross dressers). Then what the public would have as information would be their individual experience with drag bars and female impersonator shows. Through the 1960s what you would find in the Reader's Guide to periodical Literature would be articles mostly of the "What do we (society) do about these people". Over time this changed to "What help do these people need?" (credit Harry Benjamin, Havelock Ellis and John Money for positive information). Then you have the talk shows, some negative but more positive. I think a key event would be the success of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in the mid 1970s in changing the public perception; that was also the "glam rock" era. Also credit Virgina Prince for her Tri-Ess group and Transvestia magazine and the in person support groups that formed. Then we come to the computer age and all kinds of information is now available (including here). So I think the majority of the public know enough about it now but don't really care. There are still people hostile but I think more people are supportive these days.