Found out by GF

Hello all,

I only joined cd.com a few days ago and already have gained a huge insight into myself and the world I am in.

I have been dressing for years, since I was 15. At that age it was purely a sexual thing (or at least I have always thought it was but maybe I was wrong) now in my early thirties dressing is just somethin I feel I need to do. Being Sammy helps me relax, helps me feel happy and still turns me on even after all these years.

Last week, my GF and I had been out for the day (we don't live together, yet), when we came home she was looking for something and found some black lacy panties. She asked "Whose are these?" I tried "They must be yours". They were not hers, they were very obviously mine. I've never liked lying especially to those I care about. So I didn't lie. I sat her down, I told her the truth, I told her everything I could about the last 15 years of dressing.

I've been thinking for months of telling her so this is not a bad thing but it was terrifiying.

She was suprisingly calm, very supportive and doing a great job of hiding how shocked she was. We talked for an hour and then she went homne.

Two days later I arrive at her house to see her, she had done online research had written a list of questions and wanted to talk. Regardless of being terrified of the list of questions I was so happy that she still wanted to talk to me at all.

So I aswered her questions which were intelligent well thought out, non stereotypical questions. It was humiliating to have to admit what I am to a real person face to face but I felt so free being able to tell the whole truth.

As a surprise she then produced some lacy underwear that she had bought me as a gift, she told me to put them on and we had a very enjoyable night.

I am so lucky to have someone in my life who loves me so much.

We haven't really talked about my CDing since, she is still very supportive but she needs a little time to come to terms with this before we go any further. Although she has already said that she wants to meet Sammy and see how things go from there.

As I say I am very lucky, I've read the forums, I've seen the reactions some of you have received from you SO's. I tell this story in the hope that someone else might want to tell there SO one day and perhaps this story will show that it can go well, or at least much better than expected.

There will be updates to this situation which I will post when I know where I am.

Love to you all,
Sammy x

Sammy, i am very happy for you girl, it is so great to have a SO that knows and let us be ourselfs,I wish you the best hugs

Good for you, tread carefully, just answer the questions without embellishment and be honest.
I think you are off to a good start.
When I say answer the questions.... I mean don't tell her how girly you feel, she will find that out in time.

Hi Sammy, First, welcome to the Forum. I am glad to hear that you are now free of the burden of hiding this from your girlfriend. Even happier for you that it seemed to go as good as can be expected, if not better. Go slow, let her lead in how things go from here. Don't push is all I can advise. In reading the Forums, you might have noticed that acceptance can go to non-acceptance if a CD pushes it. I'm not giving advice, just call it a reminder for what you might have already read here. I wish you and your girlfriend continued love between you.

Hi Sammy, I bet your heart was racing when you were outed. I just got goose bumps reading your post. I hope your relationship goes well and that you enjoy your new found freedom.

Sounds like it went quite well, Sammy, and I hope you show her all the appreciation that is due. As others have said, take it slow and easy but be honest. Most of all, don't press her to accept more than she's ready for. You might also get her onto this site so she can share and learn.

Miriam

Sammy, that's a great story. You handled things perfectly (absent the initial "they must be yours" line. :)) Congratulations, hope it least to even better things for you.

That's so great! I wish you both the best!

You mentioned that she researched it. Well, this website is one of the top links when using Google to search about "Crossdressing" or "crossdressers". The ones that are before it are mostly for online shopping like The Breastform Store and such. Wouldn't that be great if she used everyone else's stories of failures and successes to do the right thing for you!

They say the truth hurts (or can at least be a bit humiliating); but then humility, vulnerability and honesty are all assets in a relationship. Far better than hiding oneself. Fortunately, these attributes are complemented by your GF's apparent compassion, open-mindedness and curiosity.

Now don't let the pink fog to cause you to push to far to fast, and scare her off, give her time to digest it all.
Tina B.

I would agree with what most have said. Let her lead where she needs to go from here. Give her time. It's great to hear she is supportive of you. I'm lucky that my girlfriend is supportive of me and that she loves me just how I am. Maybe your girlfriend can sign up here when she has come to terms with it.

Congrats on being with an intelligent and very insightful partner!.

Don't do like I did. Don't be dumb and push and push and not know how to stop pushing. It will send her flying into unacceptance faster than a popped button at a buffet.

Wonderful that your GF is so accepting and understanding to your feminine needs! As others have said "go slow and always be honest with her". Also, respect her & her needs too, as she can become a great positive on your new adventure. Thanx for sharing.

in light of sammy's comming out to her SO, do you ladies think it would be better to invite her SO over and meet her at the door en femme, or invite her over to watch the transformation in real time, don't know about ya'll but my SO likes to be there to "help" with makeup and picking out clothes although she does like to be suprised when diane opens the door en femme

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Originally Posted by diane too

in light of sammy's comming out to her SO, do you ladies think it would be better to invite her SO over and meet her at the door en femme, or invite her over to watch the transformation in real time, don't know about ya'll but my SO likes to be there to "help" with makeup and picking out clothes although she does like to be suprised when diane opens the door en femme

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I also prefer to be a part of the process! The time it takes getting ready gives her the ability to process it as they go. Rather than opening the door, expecting your male SO, and BOOM! you are shocked into it.

The main thing is that you have been open and honest. Her responsibility is to be open and honest in return and to respect you. I wish you both good luck. I think that if you have read many of the posts on this site you will have good idea of the path that you have started on.

I had only known my last SO for a couple of weeks when I knew there was a spark. We were out doing the Karaoke and I told her I was a crossdresser. Two weekends later she invited "Khelli" over to visit. She watched in amazement as the formerly hairy, mustached, goateed me...became the silky smooth, impeccably coiffed, Khelli. I put on my best smoky eyed, lip lined, going out on the hunt face.
She really enjoyed the transformation very much and while we went a lot of places and man and women, I think we may have spent more time together as a girl and her gurl.:spank::chained::dom:
Think of the :eek: when you open the door and she has to take it in all at once. We had a couple of gin and tonics to take the edge off before we started. :shots: One thing to look out for though, when I was in male mode I was the dominant lover, when in fem mode she controlled the action. She later admitted she has lesbian tendencies and her religious upbringing prevented her from exploring that route :evilbegon... She said however, having your BF dress up and be treated like your GF did not seem to have a listing. :D
Ya never know :sb:
I'll be quiet now,
:peace:
Khelli

I have got to dating an old friend that I have known a very long time I was married at the time.
We got to chatting on FB so I asked her out.I came out to her and its been great she is very accepting.
Sure she had questions so I answered honestly.
Last month she got to see Tracii go from boy to girl plus a TG support group meeting, we had a great time.
She lets me have my space as I do her.
I am really happy for you just give her time to take it all in and you should be fine.Let her have both sides of you and when she wants your girl side she will tell you.

Sounds like you off to a good start. I'm happy for you. Try not to get to gung ho about CDing now that your secret is out, and be willing to let her step back from the CDing if she needs a breather. I wish both of you all the best.

Congratulations on a great start. There is some great advice here please read responses carefully. I can't add anymore but stress to let her lead the paces, don't force things. Also be ready to answer questions you might not have even asked yourself yet. Like do you want to be a girl, do you plan on transitioning, how far will this go ?????

Again great start congratulations.

I am happy the revelations went well with your girlfriend. Just do not let her acceptance go to your head and start accelerating too quickly. Let her operate the gas and brake pedals of your journey. Remember she met you as strictly male. She will always need your maleness. Take it slow. If she starts to question whether she can continue accepting and participating in your cross dressing, do not make commitments that you cannot keep. Keep life well balanced.

Congratulations to both you and your GF, I am so pleased to hear how accepting she is, it bodes very well for your future. Do pass to her the comments we have made, she deserves praise! Also, always remember just how lucky you are!!

Sammy, I'm so happy for you. This is one BIG hurdle in your life that now has been jumped. Congratulations!! May you and your girlfriend move forward into a happy and understanding relationship.

Thankyou to you all.
Believe me I know how lucky I am.

Just thinking about that moment where I knew I was "caught" still makes my heart race.

I'm a pretty sensible person and as much as I want to rush round in heels and a dress, I don't intend to. I'll go at the pace my GF sets.

The best thing about it all, I no longer feel like I am doing something wrong:-)

Yay! I like happy stories!

Brilliant news Sammy - top marks for you and your GF - you've both handled a potentially awkward situation really well.

Best of luck with how it goes from here but by the sound of things, you are going to have a great relationship.

WOW, congratulations Sammy, and welcome. Keep the good stories coming.

-April :)

That's a lovely story Sammy, I am really happy for you hon. It sounds like you handled a tricky situation brilliantly. It's entirely feasible your lovely gf has already visited this forum, in her search for information. Just like you Sammy she will be made very welcome. Good luck on this new chapter in your life.

Hugs Charlotte

Thats great to hear Sammy. I told my SO early on in our relationship (after a few weeks) and she has always been very supportive, its the best thing I have done and I could not be luckier having a wife like I do, its a blessing.

Congrats Sammy!! Never take for granted how lucky you are to have someone you love in your life that wants to understand you. Take your time and it sould all work out.

$.02

The 800lb gorilla made itself known when she found women's panties in the hamper when I took a shower. I had to explain, "yea, those are mine." (as are the dresses in the closet). This explanation was more favorable than "i'm just seeing you on the side". It was also the truth. She trusted me and we've been together coming up on a score.

Because it was the truth.

She knows when I look at another woman, it's because I wonder where I can get her look.

Sammy, even if the outcome is not all hugs and bunnies- truth is really the best policy. You'll always look better in the long run, take it from me, who has not told the truth a few times, and even gotten away with it.

"Yes, but so what?" is a hell of an answer. you WILL have a few tough incidents... ride them out. My wife and i have been married 23 years, and had less than 23 tears. I told her a full year before we got married. Serious athlete with a 140+ IQ- she could be with anyone she wanted.

Tell the truth, and you will have a the best ride!

Wow sammy! You make me want to wake up my girlfriend and tell hey right now! Lol... Hopefully when that day comes for me, I can be af lucky as you are... Good luck with everything and please keep us posted. I would love to hear how things go after she meets sammy!

Adding to the discussion of when my SO first meets Sammy.

As much as I understand the want to open the door en femme I fear that it would be unfair to my GF. I have had years to get used to my appearance where as she will be confronted by someone who doesn't look like me.

I think that when this does happen the transformation will be something we do together, giving her the chance to get used to Sammy slowly. I hope that dressing this way will help her feel like the man she is with is still in there somewhere.

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Originally Posted by cdsammy80

Adding to the discussion of when my SO first meets Sammy.

As much as I understand the want to open the door en femme I fear that it would be unfair to my GF. I have had years to get used to my appearance where as she will be confronted by someone who doesn't look like me.

I think that when this does happen the transformation will be something we do together, giving her the chance to get used to Sammy slowly. I hope that dressing this way will help her feel like the man she is with is still in there somewhere.

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that's the way to do it. Good luck~

CONGRATS, Sammy!!! I am so HAPPY for you!! WISHING YOU AND YOUR GF THE BEST!!!!

Excellent idea, Sammy. You'd do well to also ask her help and opinions on different options for clothes, makeup, and accessories. It's always better to have a partner than an observer.

Miriam

Hi Sammy,

Your post made me grin, as you paint a very vivid picture. I got busted in my wife's nightie so it was impossible to dodge.
Your GF is obviously an intelligent girl and long may it continue for you. As you say, I remember the humiliation when I confessed all, but my wife is/was brilliant that day.

Hope to see more of your posts and good luck from herein.

Rebecca x

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Originally Posted by wrenchette2

that's the way to do it. Good luck~

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Slowly is good! Crystal showed me pictures (at my request) fairly early on and that helped me get my head around the femme presentation idea without having it be right in front of me.

Has she checked out this site? We'd love to have her posting here. It sounds like you did all the right things, and she's responding in kind.

The best advice I can offer is to have get involved with this site.
The fact that she bought you some stuff is both a positive and a negative:
- Her initial reaction may be counteracted by a desire to please you by encouragement, what you NEED now is to be dressed (fully- as you would consider 'fully') with her present.
If she tells you to go change back to guy mode, then do it, trust me.
If she's happy with you en femme then do so until its time for sleep then get changed into guy mode.

The main barrier has been broken - her knowing.
Everything else is trial and error.
I wish you both all the best in this x

Hi Sammy
Welcome to the forum.
You did rite by telling her, Now be carefully and GO SLOW. If you put to much on her to fast, she just
might run away. Best of luck with your GF.
Hope to here more great things later on.
Rader

From the sound of it, you did amazingly well considering the circumstances. Good luck to both of you. Please take it so so slowly, only when she is ready and be completely honest, as you have been. I didn't do either and it confused the hell out of the situation and led to all sorts of issues.

Isn't it wonderful the first time your girlfriend buys you knickers though! It blew my mind when it happened to me, I was on cloud 9. Especially when she posts them to you with a card that says, 'The next time I see you. I expect you to be wearing these.' :)

sounds good, the best thing is that you are not married, congrads on telling before hand, this way she can make an informed decision, and if this is just too much for her, or not what she wants, you have given her the oportunity to bail and that is awesome on your part. She is a luck gal to have such an honest friend. Take it as it comes and respect her either way

You have take some big steps as a crossdresser, now lets see what you look like Sammy

I don't think I'm quite ready to show myself to the world yet. you never know, maybe one day soon.

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Originally Posted by cdsammy80

I'll go at the pace my GF sets.

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This is unquestioningly the best thing you could do. I'm sure it will all go well for you both. :)