Whats the thrill in going out?

I was talking with my SO earlier and telling her that I am gearing up to going out enfemme in public sometime in the next few weeks. I am very lucky to have a supportive SO, but she asked me what was the actual thrill in going out. I answered that really it was to be a woman if only for a short while, she asked further what that meant specifically and I was really stuck for words. The best I could answer is that I want to interact with others as a woman would, I want to experience what it is to be a woman....to go and buy make up or shoe shopping en femme, but also to hear the sound of my heels on the ground and the wind against my skirt. I think she understands what I want, but I thought I would ask here as well what is the high points and highlights of going out? Hugs to all on a Friday night. Natasha

For me I think initially the thrill was doing something that your not supposed to do and not getting caught... Or surviving... The more you do it the more comfortable you get... Now it feels as natural as going out in guy mode. The thrill is gone.. Lol.

The first time I ever went out, and this is going back some years, I just took a public bus around town with no real plans of going anywhere specific. It was very satisfying, and a huge day for me personally.

You ask a good question because I'm not sure what motivated me when I first started needing to appear in public. I just knew I had to do it or I would have burst. I'm sure there's deep rooted psychological reasons for wanting to express yourself in public, even in something as innocuous as going on the bus. I look forward to the answers this thread gets.

After being a girl 24/7 for a number of years now [B] the thrill of going out enfemme is gone[/B, but years ago it was a tremendous thrill and another step in the climb to fulfilling my lifetime dreams. :)

Going out dressed, even in plain-fem clothing is a feeling of freedom.

It also is showing off yourself in public. Not too much different from someone who restores an old car and then takes it to a show just to let others see it. He could keep it at home but he wants to have others see what he did.

As long as we act civilized and are polite there should be no problems, especially for shopping at the mall or for lunch or dinner. I go out in plain-fem clothing frequently and have never had any problems.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

In my case it's the thrill of socializing and dancing and later on the "agony of de feet!" :heehee::)

Somehow, I feel the restoring an old car fits me in the physical sense for sure....lol

Karren, and others have said it well. After some time there is no thrill, it is just what we do. I am still very new at going out, and it is thrilling to no end. THe dressing was thrilling, and now the act of dressing is natural to me. I still love it, and get great peace, but the thrill of dressing now is in procuring the dresses, and to do that it now must be done in public, fully dressed, interacting and being accepted or not, and dealing. Going out is the act of dealing with life. Our life, but life nonetheless. Not for everyone I must agree, but its who i am at the moment.

Barabara

I am a beginner in the world of interaction with others as Kaz. What I have got out of going out for the many years I have been is the feeling of freedom and release. It just physically feels brilliant to walk around in a skirt, etc.. to do so in public is even more thrilling because it feels more natural and is really self-affirming. There is no feeling in the world like it!

Most women will not understand at all because to them this is what they have done since they were born and it is totally accepted and 'normal'. For us it is a big thing. I prefer to blend, because I am not so confident to say 'Hi I am a crossdresser and it is good!'... so I just want the freedom to be able to walk around and feel what it is like to dress like this...

Well actually there is more... I want to blend as a presentable woman - I want to be accepted... But that is my next hurdle... I have done the others!

Going out is the affirmation of either passing fully, passing somewhat or not at all. Which result you feel you get goes a long way towards being comfortable with yourself OR lets you know there is a lot of practice and work yet to be done.

Either way it is very exciting

It's the feeling of being feminine plain and simple. When home it's kind of like a secret, a game, but when you are out for everyone to see it is serious business and you can feel it. I always get a rush in the car driving to a night out, just knowing how I look, how I'm dressed. It is an indescribable feeling.

The times I have gone out en femme have been in the evening for a stroll. After awhile it actually became boring in the sense I was actually doing nothing. Would I just walk around the block as a guy with no goals? When I first start out I love the cool breeze flowing up my dress and slip. I love that feeling. I am just as content sitting and reading on a swing set in the back yard. I think if I went out to a cross dressing friendly venue, the thrill would be lost after a while. After all, right now fully dressed en femme in dress, heels and undergarments, feel no different than if I was en homme. Dressing en femme at home is just darn relaxing.

For some people it may be a sexual thrill, I think when I first started dressing at age 7, I may have falling in this category. but since I came out to my wife in 2010, My 1st time out in public I was so scared and excited at the same time, but since I have been out and about every weekend. I wouldn't call it boring, It just feels right! when I'm walking through the Mall I'm not thinking about how I'm dressed or who is looking at me. Boring should not be confused with feeling conferrable without guilt.

Because it's something I usually don't get to do! I don't pass - at all - and I think that works out to my benefit. People know me in my usual haunts. People think I'm a nice person. They then see me dressed, interact with me, and realize that I'm the same nice person I always was - I'm just wearing cuter clothes. They realize that I'm not what they were expecting - the odd, perverted freak that people seem to think we are. Instead, they see that I am just me. Who knows? Maybe one day that odd and totally incorrect characterization will be gone. Yay for one less stigma! :)

In addition, it is exactly as you described - the feelings. I get to feel the tug and flow of unfamiliar clothes. I get to hear the sound of my heels (heck, I get to smile at the mere thought of saying the words "my heels"). I get to smell the makeup. I get to see me in the mirrors of the changing rooms. It is a very sensory experience that is usually denied us.

Kathi

I dont mean to sound confrontational, but ask your SO why SHE insists on leaving the house as a female? Why does she want to leave her four walls? Why does she want to enter the real world, to walk about, to socialize? Tell her that all of the reasons that she gives are yours as well. You do not wish to be cooped up in four small walls. You do not wish to be confined. You wish and desire to enter the world as you think is right - as a female. Tell her that you long to see the world as a butterfly and not as a caterpillar (a glorified worm). If she doesnt "get it" then you are in trouble.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Because it's something I usually don't get to do! I don't pass - at all - and I think that works out to my benefit. People know me in my usual haunts. People think I'm a nice person. They then see me dressed, interact with me, and realize that I'm the same nice person I always was - I'm just wearing cuter clothes. They realize that I'm not what they were expecting - the odd, perverted freak that people seem to think we are. Instead, they see that I am just me. Who knows? Maybe one day that odd and totally incorrect characterization will be gone. Yay for one less stigma! :)

In addition, it is exactly as you described - the feelings. I get to feel the tug and flow of unfamiliar clothes. I get to hear the sound of my heels (heck, I get to smile at the mere thought of saying the words "my heels"). I get to smell the makeup. I get to see me in the mirrors of the changing rooms. It is a very sensory experience that is usually denied us.

Kathi

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If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Kathi and I were related . . .

Thank you ladies. It has really affirmed for me what I have to do. Its really as Veronica says if I do not do it I will burst and exactly as Kimberly says (and also Popeye), I am who I am, therefore I will. I think thats it. I am part femme, I need (at least from time to time) to be femme, as I am femme - I just am femme. Very best wishes Ladies and thank you. Hugs, Natasha.

Oh, I think I am related to Kathi and Kimberly too.

Ok, here's a "contrarian's" view for u, Rainy! For me, going out dressed has NOTHING to do with "being me". Quite THE OPPOSITE! I get an adrenaline rush from appearing in public as someone COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from who I really am! In fact, Sherry's probably as opposite as anyone can be!

Altho, because I can't pass, I prefer to dress at home without all that stress!

Even though I don't go out other then to clubs that accept us and expect us to be there, I have to give the obvious response....
It sure beats being all dressed up and no place to go....like me most of the time.

I might be saying the same thing in a different way, but there are reasons I dress and they basically are about feeling right and being myself. I am not going to let that turn into my cage. So for me, it is a general freedom of not putting myself in a position where I can't do what I want to do. Now I might choose to stay home. But it is that, a choice.

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

I dont mean to sound confrontational, .

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Yeah ya did! Don't lie to us Kim!

Natasha,
You're right about the interaction with others. I've been going out with a friend in SF quite regularly whether it be for drinks, dinner or the theater and it never fails that we get into the best conversations with people we meet. It's become more that we can go everywhere we would in guy mode, but it's more fun en femme.
Rachael

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Originally Posted by TxKimberly

I dont mean to sound confrontational, but ask your SO why SHE insists on leaving the house as a female? Why does she want to leave her four walls? Why does she want to enter the real world, to walk about, to socialize? Tell her that all of the reasons that she gives are yours as well. You do not wish to be cooped up in four small walls. You do not wish to be confined. You wish and desire to enter the world as you think is right - as a female. Tell her that you long to see the world as a butterfly and not as a caterpillar (a glorified worm). If she doesnt "get it" then you are in trouble.



If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Kathi and I were related . . .

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..........Kim,,,,I think I could be a distant cousin:heehee:

If I make it to my goal of desired shape, I plan to convert the wardrobe likely. I won't be doing it 'for the thrill" I will be wearing female clothes because I can't go out naked.

I suspect, at home I will be the same me. Sitting here bare assed in a nice blouse, instead of a man's t-shirt, maybe I will cut out the bare assed part and wear underwear that is correct for my needs. Then again, maybe not. I have female friends that like to wear just a shirt and play with what life gave them just as much as I like to play with mine. Just wish what I had to play with was correct for the outfit. But Leslie is unlikely to give in to that request.

We are all social animals and have the need to interact with others be it in male mode or female mode. Since it's something most of us do not have the opportunity to do very often as women we of course desire that interaction to make the woman in us complete.

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Originally Posted by Sandra1746

Going out dressed, even in plain-fem clothing is a feeling of freedom.

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I like this. I would agree, there is a sense of freedom in being able to go out and express / be whatever you feel you wish to be.

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Originally Posted by Cheryl T

We are all social animals and have the need to interact with others be it in male mode or female mode. Since it's something most of us do not have the opportunity to do very often as women we of course desire that interaction to make the woman in us complete.

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Most would agree that the sense of "validation" that you aren't some sort of freak but you are a nice person and you are still in essence the same "person" but with different clothes. I think that is why most CD's will want to interact more and more with the general public with time. Initially one is held back from interacting a bit like trying to learn anything new, you practice the basics until you get that right then move on to something new / more advanced and then practice at that.

Well it took me a couple of months to look presentable. I feel "right" when enfemme and got tired of sitting in the house. I got to a point where the wife was comfortable with my looks so I went for it. She accompanied me and it went well. It was so much easier with her by my side. I call it a feeling of contentment, I feel right.:)

Marlenna hit it on the head for me, I get dressed up and feel right. I get dressed to go somewhere in drab and I never really like what I am wearing.

Really great question, the only problem is that to me, it is not a thrill. It is simply dressing in the clothing that I find comfortable and that i enjoy wearing. I go out dressed as Nicole because that is who i am and because my happiest moments are when I am living as her.
Take yesterday for example, I met my dear friend Kim for lunch and a little shopping, nothing special, just two girls out on a lovely afternoon. The excitement for the day came when I finally found the perfect gold pocketbook to go with my sparkly gold flats. To me, that was a thrill as it matched so perfectly.
So for me, I guess there really can be a thrill to going out, just not the type of thrill you are referring to.

To be seen of course, I also enjoyed the fact I did not pass 100 percent and loved the "knowing" looks, smirks, and smiles........Also showing off the legs, my best asset, in 5 inch spikes was a thrill.

I have come to the realization that it is some sort of validation of a part of me. Kind of like yelling from the rooftops but silently. Showing "the world" Jennifer is tangible proof that I am what I am and not ashamed. Like Karen, initially, there was a "thrill" but it is becoming more natural and actually feels better now than when my heart was beating as if I was committing a crime.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Because it's something I usually don't get to do! I don't pass - at all - and I think that works out to my benefit. People know me in my usual haunts. People think I'm a nice person. They then see me dressed, interact with me, and realize that I'm the same nice person I always was - I'm just wearing cuter clothes. They realize that I'm not what they were expecting - the odd, perverted freak that people seem to think we are. Instead, they see that I am just me. Who knows? Maybe one day that odd and totally incorrect characterization will be gone. Yay for one less stigma! :)

In addition, it is exactly as you described - the feelings. I get to feel the tug and flow of unfamiliar clothes. I get to hear the sound of my heels (heck, I get to smile at the mere thought of saying the words "my heels"). I get to smell the makeup. I get to see me in the mirrors of the changing rooms. It is a very sensory experience that is usually denied us.

Kathi

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if your avatar photo is of you then you have no trouble passing, i go out all the time i do not try to pass as i do not like to be bothered with all the makeup during the day of a night time if I'm going for a drink or out for a meal then i will go to the trouble but even then i do not go overboard with the makup i am not bothered with passing i just like to wear female clothes and do so most of the time.

regards Paulie

I have only been out a couple times, and it has been a couple years since then. But, for me it was about finally letting others see the other half of me that up until then had only been seen in the mirror. I wanted to interact with others and be seen as Tangi. I went to a cd/gay friendly bar and had agreat night. I was called miss and sweety by the staff and talked with other girls and gg's and let my inner Tangi be herself for the night. As I said, it was mostly letting Tangi be free for an evening.

RainyNightGirl, after reading your thread a second time, what caught my attention was when you said; "that really it was to be a woman if only for a short while" and her reply was; "what that meant specifically", could she be asking if you want to be with a "guy"? Maybe I am reading TOO MUCH into it, but then again, that may be her concern...I don't know, but that is just me.

Wishing you the BEST

Although there was a thrill the first few times I went out, that wasn't the reason I stepped out of my door. I felt trapped inside my safe little hidie-hole. Over the years leading up to that first step into the public eye I had been working on finding out who Sarah was. Superficially, this was done with clothing, padding, makeup, wigs and so on. Internally I was in a closed loop with no one to bounce ideas off, no reaction from the mirror and photos were more static and highly edited glimpses of the outside. Leaving the room gave me the opportunity to see if my efforts were of any value. And how was that value measured? I had accepted myself as a crossdresser, and needed to see if anyone else would. While those strangers who were subjected to my wandering may not have accepted, they didn't recoil or confront me. For a start, that was good for me.

Since that time I've discovered how hard I need to work on this to make it work outside my own head. Now the effort is less on how I look, practice has helped that part, but more on how I can interact with others, how it feels to walk the street or into a building attempting to look and behave as a woman might. This is a continuing challenge and the thrill has been replaced by comfort, confidence and an appreciation for things once thought to be the exclusive realm of women.

I guess it's so that we can experience the world from the female side, from a feminine perspective, to encounter the outside world as a woman would, even if only for a short while.

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Originally Posted by Sandra1746

Going out dressed, even in plain-fem clothing is a feeling of freedom.

It also is showing off yourself in public. Not too much different from someone who restores an old car and then takes it to a show just to let others see it. He could keep it at home but he wants to have others see what he did.

As long as we act civilized and are polite there should be no problems, especially for shopping at the mall or for lunch or dinner. I go out in plain-fem clothing frequently and have never had any problems.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

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I totally agree with you Sandra. It's become natural for me to go out blending in with the other GGs.

As someone who gets to go out far too little, there is, when I do get the chance, still the thrill of stepping into the unknown. Why do I want to do it? It's partly to do with completing the puzzle if that makes sense. It's one thing to dress in private but lets face it, GG's don't get dressed up to the nines with full makeup, best frock, shoes and bag to sit in the lounge. Walking around the house in heels is one thing, walking any distance outside is another.
Being out completes the transformation, closes the circle. You experience what it's like to just walk outside dressed differently and the sensations that go with it. Do it often enough and yes I'm sure you get used to it but I'd take some convincing that the thrill ever entirely goes away.

For me, going out makes it seem so much more real. For a short time I am Joanne and people react and respond to me as I'm presenting- the woman inside me that gets to be on the outside far too infrequently.

The only thrill I ever got out of going out happened on Day One. I was like a race horse out of the starting gate.
After many outings, and polishing up my public presentation, I feel natural, and "me".

The only way I would EVER go 'out' is knowing that I would be surrounded by my CD/TV/TS peers.
I would never go out into regular society dressed. I don't consider it safe by a long shot (I live in a fairly prejudiced town [as far as statistics go])
The 'thrill' for the mainstream is not getting read (if you go out in mixed society)
The 'thrill' in an exclusively CD/TV/TG environment is just 'not being stuck in your house.

End of discussion as far as I can see.
Either way, I wish you luck on accomplishing at least one of the above.
x

for first time i for got what i was wearing more worryed about if was passing after a wile i was just me i did it for a long time an quit but i wont to a gen some time dont as good as i did a fue yrs a go

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Originally Posted by TGMarla

I guess it's so that we can experience the world from the female side, from a feminine perspective, to encounter the outside world as a woman would, even if only for a short while.

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Well stated Marla!
I have moved on from 'passing' to 'presenting'. I have been working at refining my look...an 'early 50'ish slender Latina' look.
3 weeks ago I was in a resturant having dinner and reading my tablet book. Basically I'm living in my world, which for me made going out a lot easier.
The waitress is friendly, the food is good, people come and go, and no one points and screams like Donald Sutherland did in 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'. LOL!
I practice my etiquette and remember to eat like a lady, elbows always in, sit up, lower back in, butt out, shoulders relaxed and back, chest out (cool!).
My hair is shoulder length and tickles my neck or falls in the way, and I had to sit back a little as to see my plate, (rack intrusion).
The new body spritz smells nice.
I feel good, I feel pretty and nice.
I check my lipstick before I pay at the counter and leave.

20 years later and it is always thrilling.

Mainly because after while, being en-femme indoors was becoming frustrating. With all the work I had put into looking and feeling great, I wanted see what it would be like outdoors. I still get a nervous excitement from it, but I love the sound of my heels outdoors.

Someone might ask the same question why is it a thrill do dress and walk around the house. If you really want to feel like a woman then you need to get out of the house and show your stuff. Woman are very social and hiding at home will not get you to do things a woman gets to do. I think we also want to show off how well we might present. I really want to go out dancing in my heels. I luv to dance and even though my feet will disagree in the morning it would be very fun to get out there and dance.