interesting and scary (for me) experience

as i'm still in the closet, but love to shop, when i do i always have that funny feeling in my stomach that everyone is watching me. so i recently ordered on-line from jc penny's 5 tops and a pair of jeans. for obvious reasons i had it delivered to the local jc penny store and i would pick it up there. the store was quiet and the register i went to was empty. everything so far is perfect. as the sales associate was carrying my package from the back room, i extended my arms to take it from her and leave. she walked right around me to the register, ripped open the package and layed out my 5 tops and jeans on the counter to make sure everything was there. as she is checking each one seperately, she's telling me if they don't fit i can return them. with a knott in my throat im saying "okay". i noticed out of the corner of my eye there was now a man on line behind me, and when i realized that i knew him and that he use to work for me i really got nervous as he heard everything the SA said to me. i gave him the old "how ya doin", as i grabbed my package and left the store.

so just a warning to you others still in the closet like me. if you don't want your package ripped open, stay away from jc penny's...:eek:

He knows you had to be buying them for a female acquaintance.:)
Don't worry just have an inplausible explanation next time you see him.
Tell him you are going upmarket in the fashion stakes. He won't believe that either.

That sure was an OOPS moment Paula. I think you'll be fine just deny everything!:D

They were for your female relative right? Just saying okay did not give ownership.

I think it is so common nowadays to see men buying womens clothing that no one even pays attention anymore. Most assume it is for your SO or some GG. I recently bought a 2 piece bikini swimsuit and the sales lady said if it don't fit her that she can bring it back. Later that day I was at Walmart and bought a weedeater on a credit card and then had a seperate order (panties and a body shaper) that I wanted to pay cash for. The sales girl just said "okay" and rang them up not even batting an eye.... I am sure it will be okay... if ever confronted I guess you could say it was for a relative.... Amanda

My husband buys females clothes from Wal mart all the time. No one cares. They just want the money.

IF the guy even brings it up with you, which he probably won't, you can say the things were for your niece or another relative.

If i go too wall-mart, no problem, i just too go self checkout and buy my things, , no lines ether :daydreaming::):D

I will bet that guy was relieved that you left so quick, He was sweating that you would see the new dress that he bought. :heehee:

I call it DM syndrome (DM = dungeon master, it's a role gaming term thing).

You need to remember, just because you know everything, doesn't mean anyone else automatically does too.

"she's telling me if they don't fit i can return them." She's just stating a matter of fact eh, of course you can return your wife's/girlfriend's/daughter's/niece's/neighbour's purchase if they don't fit.

It's not like you were jumping up and down all bubbly giggling saying 'yippee my clothes arrived I hope they look good on me' eh (unless you were hehe).

It's no biggie hon, as others have said sales assistants just assume its for a female relative. Personaly I like the double bluff approach, by stating they are for me with a funny quip and a smile. Although as others have stated they just want your money, thats all that matters.

Charlotte

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Originally Posted by tiffanythecd2001

If i go too wall-mart, no problem, i just too go self checkout and buy my things, , no lines ether :daydreaming::):D

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What about the security tags though hon ?

Charlotte

Several years ago, my wife ordered some shoes from Penney's. When I picked them up, the SA aaked if I would like to try them on. Size 7 1/2 for her, 11 for me. I don't think they would ahve fit. I think all the SA knew was that she had shoes she was bringing out.

Paula, no one know they are for you except you. The SA was saying "you can return them" in the generic sense. I think it's funny how we crossdressers tend to think everyone knows what we are or are doing when it's such a stretch to picture a man wearing women's clothes. If you saw a guy picking up a skirt or dress in a store, what would you think first; he was a crossdresser or he was buying for a wife/GF?

I think you have two choices! First choice think nothing of it! Second choice, next time ask where the fitting room is! Enjoy them! Hugs!

I am THANKFUL that I found a store for "Voluptous" women that carry heels in my size...but I STILL get the un-easy feeling that the SA KNOWS that the clothes that I purchase are for ME...but once all is said and done...they made a SALE!!! :)

What a time that must have been. As a closeted CD myself, that would have unnerved me also. Kind of defeats the purpose of shopping online and doing a store pickup if they are going to dump everything out in front of the world. You could have done a quick "is that what she ordered? I thought she said there was hosiery in there" then you could have picked up some hose while you were there with the SA's help ;)

We are all too paranoid about things like this, I used to be too. I've had situations happen like this before and its amazing how your imagination can run wild if you let it do so. Don't buy into that paranoia! Whats he going to say to anybody even if he did get a very small vibe? Maybe he would go home and tell his wife what he thought, she would probably reply and say he could be buying for other members of his family and I wish you would think of doing that kind of thing too. Remember statistics say we should only be concerned with about 5% maximum of what our total worries are!!!! That is a very small percentage.
He's got to be worried if he says anything that you could tell his new employer about some dirt you know about him. Everybody knows disgruntled employees say things about their ex employers. Now go enjoy those new things you bought!

Thanks for the warning!

This is what i have been saying though for a LONG time: The SAs or stores usually do not care, Macy's is wonderful, Dress Barn too, Lord and Taylor, and lots of others too.

My biggest problem/anxiety is the other shopper(s). They have less at stake as far as behavior than the SAs, I have gotten a little better though, somewhat from practicing not meeting eye contact with other customers. This is hard for me to do, for various reasons, but it does help!

Also- moderate anti-anxiety meds help too. When I use these meds, my biggest problem is being careful to not overspend!

kristi

Expect every parcel pickup point to inspect the package. It's their job. The worst blown attempt of trying to keep my purchase a secret from my wife was when JCPenny distribution called about two pairs of women's shoes. She told the guy on the line he wanted to talk to her husband. She handed me the phone. The guy was somewhat perplexed. Of course, the shoes arrived, did not fit, and I had to return them to the counter. I took my pre-school daughter along for comfort and a story the shoes did not fit mommy! Totally stupid. Next time I went to PayLess and bought in person. Fortunately, my wife knew of my cross dressing, but, does want to be involved. Oh, well!

I remember in my community there was a women's clothing store that had a small sign in the window indicating the shop was CD friendly. At least one could shop there without feeling out of place.

In the retail world they are so used to people buying clothes of the opposite gender they don't really care. She was doing her job. What if you had taken them home and it was all men's underwear? The guy in line has no idea who you were buying for. And why is it his business? You could be buying for a sister, wife, cousin. Women buy men's clothing all the time they don't worry what the person behind them think.

I love J C Penney's for many reasons. they have nice clothing and it can be reasonable price when you get the sales. The associates are always friendly and conversive. They have a good return policy.

You should quit thinking this is dirty little secret. You are not doing anything wrong or illegal. Clothes are just cloth. They are not magic in any manner. You are entitled to buy and wear whatever you want. Even if you don't wear them in public.

I too have felt the paranoia when shopping for myself in drab. But over the years I've learned three things.

1. Nobody knows.
2. If they do suspect something, they don't care.
3. If they do care, it doesn't matter anyway.

Let's suppose your acquaintance does bring up the incident. (He won't, but let's pretend he does.) First, pretend you don't remember it at all. If he presses the issue, act like you sort-of remember it, but have no idea why you were there or wat you were buying. If he mentions what you were buying, say "I must have been picking up something for my wife," and change the subject.

I often avoid the self-checkout, because I enjoy chatting with the check-out people. Every once in a while one of them will comment on one of my purchases, usually saying something like "oh, that's so pretty." I just say " Yeah, that's what I thought!"

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Originally Posted by CynthiaD

I too have felt the paranoia when shopping for myself in drab. But over the years I've learned three things.

1. Nobody knows.
2. If they do suspect something, they don't care.
3. If they do care, it doesn't matter anyway.

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Totally agree with this. They just don't bloody care. I don't know if they suspect that I'm buying for myself. If they do suspect, or even if they're sure, I don't care. Nobody's ever said a word to me. They're free to think whatever they like. The first time I went out shopping (in drab) it took me about three minutes to realize there's nothing to worry about.

Now if I could just do the same thing en femme.

Best wishes, Annabelle

thank you all for the great, witty and supporting comments. the support is the biggest reason i enjoy this forum. :thumbsup::thumbsup:
the fact is, i know the SA don't care, and i already had excuses worked out in my head if i ran into someone
i knew. its actually kinda funny that i was so scared in the first place. :heehee: why do i torture myself like this over something so silly... i guess i'm such a girl, or is it a boy...:eek:
i'm confused again!

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Originally Posted by paulaprimo

its actually kinda funny that i was so scared in the first place. :heehee: why do i torture myself like this over something so silly...

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Paula, I don't think your fears were silly. A lot of people regard what we TG people do as outrageous, disgusting, even sick. And there's a lot more of them than there are of us. So on the face of it fear can be quite reasonable. It's only when you discover from your own experience that there's nothing to fear that fear becomes silly.

I've taken a few little steps recently and I felt some fear beforehand. That fear is gone now. But I'm presently thinking about making a very big step, and the fear is back. I'm going to have to discover for myself whether I'm being silly to be afraid.

Best wishes, Annabelle

I think that you over-reacted. There is no reason for him to think anything other than you were there just picking up an order.

So...I ordered a padded panty girdle from Jc Penny to be picked up at the store, catalog desk. However they called my cell to tell me it had arrived. No problem until without thinking I let my wife listen to the messages. Whoops. She knows but was angry.

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Originally Posted by Stephanie47

I remember in my community there was a women's clothing store that had a small sign in the window indicating the shop was CD friendly. At least one could shop there without feeling out of place.

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there is a place in our city that is CD friendly. It is run by CD's and all the SA's are CD's. My husband LOVES shopping there because she doesn't feel judged by anyone. Plus, it's across the town and we're in a big town so no one there would know him anyway.

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Originally Posted by wrenchette2

there is a place in our city that is CD friendly. It is run by CD's and all the SA's are CD's. My husband LOVES shopping there because she doesn't feel judged by anyone. Plus, it's across the town and we're in a big town so no one there would know him anyway.

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Lord, and this is in Texas? What's the Lone Star State coming to? If you ever see a cowgirl skirt there, please let me know. I could use one of those.

Annabelle

Ummm... the self check out at Walmart? I had a pr of heeled sandals and baby powder. For some reason the self check out didn't work right and a SA had to come over and scan the things a few times...I'll just go thru the regular line next time. Amanda

I used to be that way too, but I figured out that I don't care and secondly, nobody else would imagine in their wildest dreams that the reason I'm buying something is for Cding. And even if it was...so what? They know nothing about my intentions. If they were to ever mention it to me, I would just admit I was there shopping and like nothing is unusual, I would say...'you remember what I bought?....I don't even remember what it was now... must have been something you were interested in?'. ...in fact, I'm almost the opposite now, I would intentionally do it just to see the reaction...try picking out an eyeliner in the makeup section and walking up to the cash, buying it and then questioning the price because the display was wrong...or the pencil was in the wrong slot...did it...no odd looks, just several trips back and forth between the cash while the girls checked it out. People might wonder what you are buying, but act like its normal and they quickly make up some story to satisfy themselves.

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Originally Posted by paulaprimo

as i'm still in the closet, but love to shop, when i do i always have that funny feeling in my stomach that everyone is watching me. so i recently ordered on-line from jc penny's 5 tops and a pair of jeans. for obvious reasons i had it delivered to the local jc penny store and i would pick it up there. the store was quiet and the register i went to was empty. everything so far is perfect. as the sales associate was carrying my package from the back room, i extended my arms to take it from her and leave. she walked right around me to the register, ripped open the package and layed out my 5 tops and jeans on the counter to make sure everything was there. as she is checking each one seperately, she's telling me if they don't fit i can return them. with a knott in my throat im saying "okay". i noticed out of the corner of my eye there was now a man on line behind me, and when i realized that i knew him and that he use to work for me i really got nervous as he heard everything the SA said to me. i gave him the old "how ya doin", as i grabbed my package and left the store.

so just a warning to you others still in the closet like me. if you don't want your package ripped open, stay away from jc penny's...:eek:

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That happened to me and that was the last time for in-store delivery. I'll pay for my privacy. Besides , the SA was a nosy hag who also made comments not appropriate to her duties.

When a guy is shopping in the women's section, I think people usually assume he's buying something for his wife or girlfriend.

When you have a secret like that, you're going to be super paranoid. Most of the time, it's all in your mind.

It's all in your mind.

It's all in your mind.

Just sayin... from someone who has been there... :D