Just having one person who knows.

As the title says, I have finally told someone. Gah! The feeling, is....it's like I've dumped a huge weight off my shoulders. I've got someone to talk to about it. Someone who can crack jokes about it at my expense. ( gentle ones, just giggly sort of teasing between friends ) Someone who I can bounce ideas off, in a face to face environment, explore what it means to me, brainstorm about why.

I've made some huge changes in my life over the last 3 months, I think this may have been one of the bigger ones in terms of it's long term imapct.

NOT suggesting all you in the closet run out and tell some random friend, that's your choice. Just wanted to share with you my joy at a new found freedom.

Thanks for listening.

Before I was even out to my wife I had one friend I opened up to. She was very supportive, and is actually the one that talked me into opening up to my wife. I understand the experience you have gone through and it is amazing. Congratulations.

I did make one mistake of overdoing it with my friend. I leaned on her too hard at first. After all I finally had someone to talk to. She let me know and we adjusted. Not that you will do this. Just remember, you were friends before they knew and had interests other than this.
Good Luck

Thanks for the reminder Katie, good point. Our conversations are best described as, very deep, and very wide ranging. Because of where we are in our "relationship" and where she is on her own journey in self knowledge, the subjects are often very personal, the CDing seems to be coming up a lot, not always at my instigation.

Congratulations to you! It is a great weight off your shoulders. I know. The first person I ever told was my sister. You can read about my story here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...er!&highlight= . I am sooo happy I took that step. It opened up a lot more opportunities to dress and be myself. Hugs,Tonya

Although I did wear my older sisters panties when I was much younger than now, she has never known that I am a crossdresser. In fact, until I told my late wife BEFORE we married, no one else knew about my crossdressing. Now both my children know, as well as my lady friend in Scotland! But I dress when I want to, since I live alone1

Hi UD. , I'm only out to my wife not having to hide is great.

You have just opened up a new door in your life. The inner feeling one gets is simply indescribeable and until someone goes through what you just did, they simply cannot comprehend the feeling. Good for you.

I have a friend who is gay.
He has a partner but had not told a number of his male friends.
I gave him a pat on the back, told him not to pat me on the bum and he was still my friend.
That really shifted a load off his mind, as he had told others that now shun him.
We are able to joke about it although he doesn't know about me.
He has seen me dressed but that was before a party I attended.
Maybe, one day.:)

It does feel good to tell someone you are friends with and have them accept it.

Hi there UD,
Yaays! for you .....I am so glad for you.:cheer::cheer: I can understand how you about being able to tell something that is so diffacult to tell.

My So came out last year ( or rather I shoved him out of the closet) I saw the change that he overcame after the fact. Alot of the weight he was carrying (physical) just started dropping offwithout him even trying and he became more confident with himself.:^5:

Interesting..... the web or noose tightens a little bit more. Soon she will be headed out the door.

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Originally Posted by Jorja

Interesting..... the web or noose tightens a little bit more. Soon she will be headed out the door.

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Originally Posted by Lady Panda

Hi there UD,
Yaays! for you .....I am so glad for you.:cheer::cheer: I can understand how you about being able to tell something that is so diffacult to tell.

My So came out last year ( or rather I shoved him out of the closet) I saw the change that he overcame after the fact. Alot of the weight he was carrying (physical) just started dropping offwithout him even trying and he became more confident with himself.:^5:

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This friend has been instrumental in helping me re-shape myself before this, she pointed out I was probably ADHD, loaned me several books which have really given me a new lease on life, with her help, and with my new job, I look and behave differently, everyone says my body language has become way more open and relaxed, weight is dropping off by the tens of pounds, my fitness level is through the roof, the list goes on. Adding the sense of release from being able to talk about this is the cherry on top!

It does feel good when you tell someone else, (or finds out as with my wife did 5 yrs ago) it really did feel good for me although then I dragged her into the closet with me until last year when others started finding out and I started venturing out into the world.
Now that you've told one, you can spread the good cheer around! :heehee:


on a side note...i hit 2000 posts and didn't even realize it! yahooie!

Being able to talk to someone is definately a very positive outcome, and if they can help you with your attire, then full house! I am grateful that i have a very understanding and supportive girlfriend who knows, and that's it at the moment, we shall see what happens in regards to other people. I'm happy for you, weight of shoulders = a good thing!

I am the same way, only my wife knows... and well a friend of hers now, but I am positive it goes no further than that... My wife loves knowing and the fact that I am finally giving her the husband I promised to be but was so uptight for years...

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Originally Posted by Stacey Renee

I am the same way, only my wife knows... and well a friend of hers now, but I am positive it goes no further than that... My wife loves knowing and the fact that I am finally giving her the husband I promised to be but was so uptight for years...

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After 25 years of marriage I let my wife know about my CDing. The first few weeks were a little tough but now we have a much better life and the husband she never really had has come OUT to play. We will be going on our first vacation togeather in 4 years.
I came out to my wife and joined this site at the same time, both choices were the best I have ever made.
Wonderwho

Congratulations on that accomplishment. I know how it feels to finally get this shoulders. Only a few people in my life know, but its been so much easier on me since telling them about myself since I no longer feel like I need to hide as much or pretend to be someone I'm not.

I agree, its a lot easier to get along with this life when you have a confidante. As noted, you have to use good judgement and not overburden your friends or loved ones with TMI.

Just be very, very careful unless you want to be outed. Most people cannot keep secrets, especially if they think it's no big deal themselves. I decided to tell a coworker who is gay and was quiet about it for a very long time, so I felt I could confide in her, we had been sort of friendly for years. WRONG. within a week, she opens her yap about whether I found something in a VS catalog appealing enough to go and try on. I shoot her dagger eyes quickly so she knows she made a mistake and she understands right away, but the damage could have already been done...until I say 'Yeah, I'd like to try on every girl on page 12'. Heads turn.....I think I got away with it.....not sure, but it's the second time it's happened. Makes me wonder why I trust anyone at all. I should just keep my friggin' mouth shut.

Over the last few years I've got very friendly with a woman I met online and we began making plans to meet. I didn't want any more hiding, so after much thought I took the decision to tell her everything first. She couldn't have been more positive, in fact she was kind enough to use words like 'admiration' and 'respect'. And she's keener to meet than ever.

Yes I know, it doesn't mean she won't decide that I'm not what she's looking for in a partner. But I am what she's looking for in a friend, and believe me that counts for a lot.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

Just be very, very careful unless you want to be outed. Most people cannot keep secrets, especially if they think it's no big deal themselves. I decided to tell a coworker who is gay and was quiet about it for a very long time, so I felt I could confide in her, we had been sort of friendly for years. WRONG. within a week, she opens her yap about whether I found something in a VS catalog appealing enough to go and try on. I shoot her dagger eyes quickly so she knows she made a mistake and she understands right away, but the damage could have already been done...until I say 'Yeah, I'd like to try on every girl on page 12'. Heads turn.....I think I got away with it.....not sure, but it's the second time it's happened. Makes me wonder why I trust anyone at all. I should just keep my friggin' mouth shut.

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I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Before I told her, I was pretty certain that she wouldn't out me. You'd have to meet her to understand, but I trust this person more than any other I have met. I was also pretty confident that she wouldn't be weirded out by my revelation, though her reaction and level of acceptance really left me breathless for a second or two! What I was concerned about, was that it would put a serious damper on how she might perceive me as romantic material. This does not seem to be the case. Not only is my choice of "Gender Performance" as she terms it, not an issue, the fact that i think it was neccesary to be so honest, seems to have been a count in my favor. In fact, I have felt such a releif at her acceptance, I seem to be in the process of outing myself! A work related outing, where i was the only guy, caused her to make a joke ( to me privately ) that I should change my personal style to "fit in". I found it hilarious, and repeated it to several people, who also found it funny. On the trip, i talked fairly freely about thinking that a skirt at work could be a nice option! I'm actually contemplating asking the boss, ( also female ) what would be company policy, and what she thinks about it! Don't think I have the nerve to go thru with it.

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Originally Posted by Pexetta

Over the last few years I've got very friendly with a woman I met online and we began making plans to meet. I didn't want any more hiding, so after much thought I took the decision to tell her everything first. She couldn't have been more positive, in fact she was kind enough to use words like 'admiration' and 'respect'. And she's keener to meet than ever.

Yes I know, it doesn't mean she won't decide that I'm not what she's looking for in a partner. But I am what she's looking for in a friend, and believe me that counts for a lot.

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Yes, yes it does. And if she does like you........

My wife knows, but she doesn't like it or want to see it. She found a stash of my things years ago and thought I was cheating. Convinced her it wasn't true. Now years later, subject has come up again and she just doesn't want any part of it. So yes I told someone, no I don't have anyone to talk to (except my psych. and he's not well versed in this area.)

Maybe the tit;e should have been, "Having just one person who knows, and Accepts."

I am thinking about coming out to my ex. She lives in a different area than me, and she def caught some of my internet history when we were dating, so I think she would be good.

Like you sometimes_miss I just let a co-worker know about my CD'ing after she let me know she was gay. I though after she told me her secret I would let her know mine. After all why start a friendship off on a lie. It's only been about two weeks or so and I have complete faith in her. Know one in the office knows she is gay and I will not be the person to let them know.

We have great talks about out lives and what we go through day in and day out. I really fell like that giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now that someone in the world knows about my CD'ing. She really is a great person and I am glad I told her.