Those who are out: How did you get out?

Hi, Everybody!

This thread is addressed to those who get out in public “dressed”. What I mean by “dressed” here is that you wear at least one item of female clothing that is visible to members of the public—whether female jeans, top, shoes, dress, whatever. Underdressing doesn’t count. And when I say “get out”, it doesn’t matter how often or seldom, regularly or irregularly, or for what length of time.

What I’m on about here is this: on this forum we have members who’ve never been out in public. Now some remain private out of choice, and as far as I’m concerned, THAT IS THEIR CHOICE, and I don’t want this thread to address that question at all. Rather, I’m concerned with people who would like to get out but just haven’t yet been able to take the plunge. A month ago or so I’d have fallen into that category myself.

When I decided that I wanted out, one thing that held me back was not knowing exactly how to go about it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to just suddenly appear in public dressed the way I like to dress. I thought I needed to think about things and find a good way of going about it.

So I thought it might be useful to have a thread where those of us who are out, to whatever extent, can tell our stories. Each story will be different because our circumstances are different, as are our needs, goals, personalities, etc. E.g., I live in a small town. Lots of people live in cities. I wanted to be full time. Some people only want to get out on occasion. I work from home, so I don’t have a boss to worry about. A lot of people do. Etc.

I thought that if we give specific details as to how we went about getting out, rather than just vague encouragement like, “You can do it, girl!”, or “We have nothing to fear but fear itself,” it might help those who’d like to get out. There are many testimonials scattered about this forum, but I thought it might be useful to have a lot of them gathered together on one thread. That way, those who want to get out can review our various stories, perhaps select those that best fit their own circumstances, and from them get ideas as to how they can go about getting out themselves.

Does anybody think this is a good idea? If not, you won’t reply. But I’ll start with my story:

The first time I got out was when I went to a nearby town for a weekend transgender workshop. Since I was among other transpeople, as well as LGB and GG allies, I had nothing to fear. On the Saturday and Sunday nights, however, a few of us went out on the town, to restaurants and pubs. It was safe enough because it was dark. I wasn’t going to be looked over too closely. But also I was among a group, so there was safety in numbers.

I learned three things from the experience: people don’t pay any attention to you. You can walk around as you like without having to worry about it. Secondly, whereas some people are really nervous about being out in public, I loved it. I took to it like a duck to water. Finally, I knew I needed to get out full-time. A weekend now and again wasn’t going to do it for me.

But as I said earlier, I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to just suddenly start appearing dressed in public in the little town I live in. It would be a shock for people, and they wouldn’t have a clue what I was doing. I decided it would be better to go around to various people—my landlord, shopowners, the manager of the post office, the librarians, etc.—to explain to them beforehand what I was going to do. That way I could answer any questions they had, but more importantly I could gauge their reactions. If it was uniformly hostile, then I might have wanted to think about finding some other place to live. But if they were OK with it, then I’d be OK. These were the important people in my life, and if they were on board, then I wouldn’t need to worry much about the rest.

As it turned out, I was amazed to discover that everybody was perfectly cool with it. Big surprise, but that’s the way it was. So I simply started getting out, and I’ve been out for a month now. Full-time—I haven’t worn any male clothing since the day Obama was re-elected.

You’re often advised to try and “blend in”. I don’t worry about that. In this little town, I’m not going to blend in since everybody knows me. I wear what I like, and that means trying to look as good as possible. I wear dresses and skirts—but I can get away with that because I’m not young, and women my age do still wear such things often enough. So I’m dressing my age, and I do think it’s important to do that.

In two ways, however, I do blend in, and I think these are the two chief advantages I have. First, as I said, I’m not young. I don’t think middle-aged women get scrutinized as closely as young girls do. Second, I’m very small, so I fit in well with my preferred gender.

I’ve been very lucky. People have been good to me. We often hear a lot about “small town prejudice”. I haven’t run into any of that. I think there can be advantages in being in a small town. For one thing, people know you. If you’re the decent sort, not a troublemaker, then they might find it easier to accept you. At any rate, I’ve found the people of this small town very accepting.

That’s the way I went about it, and it worked. I wish I could guarantee that it would work for everybody.

Best wishes, Annabelle

Done the Clark Kent routine in my car in an obscure parking lot many a time.

Like Nathalie, I find a place to change but usually it is into male attire as I will leave home dressed as a woman, find a place to change then do what I need to do, change back into my dress and come back home as a woman. Just haven't found the courage to do the shopping in full feminine attire as of yet.

My first time out in public wasn't really in public. It was also at a Transgender meeting a couple towns over. I had access to the ladies room to change, so I went in drab and got dressed there. Tiny bathroom. Not easy to change there. I had a god-awful wig that probably came from a costume store and only had lipstick for make up. The only thing I really remember from the meeting was that there was one person there with a gg girlfriend who complimented me on being able to walk so well in heels. She said she could never do it. Also, at one point in the evening I was brave enough to go outside for a cigarette. It was great being out of doors.

I frequented a store that catered to TGs and set an appointment to get a makeover so I could see if it was something I would look good as. Had the makeover, didn't want to change out, went to dinner. World didn't end..flood gates opened. The rest is Rock and Roll history.

(yes it was contingent on if I looked good. I had my fears back then too)

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

(yes it was contingent on if I looked good. I had my fears back then too)

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I know what you mean. I'd decided that if I wasn't satisfied with my appearance, I wasn't going to get out. As it is, I'm satisfied (though no more than that). But if I weren't, would things be different now? Who knows?

My first time out in public was to a local. gay bar that was having a demo for us girls on how to apply make up. Figured why not after dressing inside for a year it was time to venture out. it realy helps if you find someone to met also as I did. First time out was in a blouse and slacks as I wasnt shaving my legs at the time. I wasnt realy looking to pass at that the time and just wanted to taste the fresh air. You know when its your time to go out and only yoy will decide when its time. Just relax dont fidget too much and enjoy the moment. even if its for a little drive.
Renee

I've shared my first "out" experiences several times, so I'll be brief. I dressed full time at home, but never ventured beyond the front door. My wife "introduced" me to a neigbhbor lady, quite by surprise (to me), and I didn't die...turns our she wasnt all that surprised either, having seen me through the gaps in the back fence. Some weeks later, I needed to move the sprinkler in the front yard. I was fully dressed and couldn't see changing back for a few seconds outside my front door...so I stepped out and the world kept on spinning. (Actually, it may have paused for just a second or two before I stepped over the threshold)

After that, I just realized I could do this. So I did. Within a few days, I'd been to the hair dresser en femme, gotten a makeover at MACs, had my first dinner out and went to a bar en femme. Despite all this, I'm still here to tell the tale.

I also live in a really small town and have only been out fully en femme for Halloween a couple of times. Both times it was well accepted. However, for a long time now, I have been incorporating bits and pieces for feminine attire into my wardrobe. Mostly women's jeans, but I also wear women's shoes and trouser socks. Mostly sneakers, some clogs, but if anyone was paying attention, it would be obvious that they are not men's shoes. I just recently added a couple pairs of skinny jeans to my wardrobe and almost no one seems to notice. I say almost, because I did catch one women cashier at the grocery store do a double take at them. But when I went to the check out, she never said a word. I don't know if it would get to the point where I will go out fully en femme in this little town, but who knows!

In order to become " Maureen Fleming" for the local Gay Pride activies in the 1970's amd 1980's I had some female stash stored away at an apartment in the East Lakeview neighborhood that was the home of a female friend, platonic & non LGBT, but a supporter who was a Chicago Public School teacher. When I was still living with my parents my femmy stuff was in a my closet, I cleaned my room and I let no one in, but I was gone many hours during the day. I washed my female clothing when my parents wre away, which was fairly often. Duing my 33 year marraige, and 3 homes, including one rental, my Maureen stuff was locked in a trunk, with male stuff, surrouding the trunk, at the rental in the storage room, at the home(s) in the basement in the same trunk that was in a mess of tools, and other " manly " stuff.

My first time out enfemme was a late night walk around the neighborhood, circa Summer 1968.

I guess you can kinda say I am outside now. My work allows me to work by myself and so I started wearing jeans. In fact I bought a new pair of cargo dickies yesterday and I am wearing them today. As long as you don't promote it and it isn't all blunged out people don't say anything. I know I would love to wear a tshirt and bra too but then they might say something. I am work it up slow in my local area. I believe if I was out of town I would full. I stopped caring about what people thought.

my story isn't so elaberate I simply was at home wearing a skirt as I had so many times before and neededto go to the store for something, it was litterally across the street at that time. So I grabbed my wallet and keys and walked out the doorand acroos the street to the store. It was a small doller general but I knew they had what I wanted so on I went. The only coment was from an older lady who simply said I like your skirt. I know she was being sarcastic but didn't say it really loud or rudely. Since then I have gone out many times in diffrent levels of dress and the only time I every had any problems is when I was doing my best to pass and some teenagers noticed and gt all stupid. They didn't harm me or threaten to do harm just made rude and mean coments. A few weeks later seen the same group while only wearing a skirt as a guy and they were fine with that.

My first time was at the Colorado Gold Rush and also there first year. Meet some people there and have never look back. I don't get out dress as much as I like, a year ago was the last time. But looking forward to the next time when ever it is.

My first time, I went to one of the local malls with a skirt in my bag, went into the "family" washroom, changed into the skirt, and then went and walked around the mall; then, later, went back to the family washroom and changed for going home. This was just under 3 weeks after I had realized I was a cross-dresser.

Mind you, my memory is slightly fuzzy as to how exactly I did it; it is possible that I put the skirt on under my jeans at work, and then the family washroom was just to remove the jeans. I know I used this method more than once.

Other times, I put a skirt on under my jeans, went outside, and wandered around outside until I found a location out of view with no-one around for a moment, and quickly pulled off the jeans and put them in my bag and kept going. I wasn't shy about being seen in public in a skirt (though uneasy sometimes in the rougher neighborhoods!), but I was always shy about being seen changing clothes.

I remember times when I slipped into a bus shelter (protection from the elements while waiting for the city bus), sat down on the bench, and changed into a skirt (or out of one.) Even though I would have been visible and anyone looking from a distance could have seen I was doing something odd, there would no longer be the automatic assumption of "pervert" that a male changing in public would elicit.

My first time "out dressed" seems like a million years ago now. I used to take a bag of femme things with me and change to drive around or maybe go to a deserted park. Once when I was out of town actually I think in LA I decided to go a gay bar dressed. I did my best make up job which trust me wasn't all that great and went out. I ended up going to the famous Queen Mary and everyone was very nice. That gave me the courage to start going out dressed to other gay clubs and then it was no putting Margo back in the box at that point.
It took forever to figure out that there were no black helicopters in the sky looking for cross dressers and that there were no federal agents either. Once I could calm down a little I started enjoying it even more.
Now I go on trips dressed, check into hotels dressed, go to restaurants, etc and I love it.
I also went to the past SCC and that was very nice.
I keep my Margo stuff in a storage unit which is good because somehow my wardrobe seems to be magically expanding lol

BTW, I love Nathalie's Clark Kent remark oh how many times I did that.

margo

I decided I wanted to get out and was not going to do so unless I looked as good as I could. So I took a few months to work on my look. I practiced makeup, got a couple of good wigs and some nice clothes. I would dress up and take pictures to see how the look did. I would critique the pics and decided I needed to have some body shaping - got a corset. Practiced walking in the shoes and found outfits that looked ok with my body type. Lost a ton of weight, learned to do my nails and shaved all over. Finally I thought I was ready I joined a group and went for a meeting. Loved it and eventually started going out with some of the girls. I am still nervous going out but I also enjoy it so much.

I made friends from other local girls and we dragged each other out the door kicking & screaming. In hindsight, the fear was absurd, and in 6 years of going in public I have only heard something nasty on two occasions...and they weren't even that bad when you look at the people saying them.

Going out was a HUGE step for me. I really can't recommend it enough for anyone thinking about it.
I would recommend that you at least have started voice training & movement training before going out....but that's just my opinion. Do what you want.

Just realize that at the end of the day no one really gives a crap. The fear is in your head for the most part. Now I have had what I consider a distinct advantage over isolated & rural girls by living in the downtown core of a big city. I think you can really blend in with the endless waves of people going about their day.

I suppose I got out by never really being in.

Growing up five minutes from Hollywood with family that are theatre people and more wacky than I am gave me complete freedom and little supervision.

Like you I'm small and never had much body hair with facial features that are androgynous and a first name that can be used either for a boy or girl.

I have always loved the bagpipes and played in the high school band so started out by wearing a kilt so spent almost all of my high school years wearing a "skirt" of sorts and I still have a strong preference for skirts that look like kilts. My legs do not look manly so I did get teased but my sense of humor usually kept me out of trouble by making a joke out of it.

I was in theatre all through high school and in college along with music and other artistic interests so you are expected to be weird anyway so for me it was a natural progression because there was little to no resistance to doing your own thing.

After high school I hung out with drag performers and most of my friends were TG or somewhere on the LGBT spectrum because I could not "get" people who were heterosexual even though I am heterosexual in that I'm not homosexual or bi but indifferent.

For me I suppose I came out when I first sexualized the dressing with short skirts and heels, until than I was just sitting on the fence not being one gender or the other. That is when you start playing with fire so risk getting burned.

I have an intense interest in fashion because pretty things pull at me so strongly not in a sexual sense but because I just love pretty things so who would not want to crossdress when you are like this?

Of course when you start changing your body that is a whole different game but it does make the clothes fit better.

For me it has been a evolution as movement into a becoming and the more I became the more I understood who I am so I have just been walking a path with no real idea of where it would take me until recently when the "knowing" and "me" became one and the same thing.

I like your approach to coming out by talking to people. That was very smart in my opinion.

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Originally Posted by KellyJameson

I like your approach to coming out by talking to people. That was very smart in my opinion.

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Thanks, Kelly. I decided I needed to do that because I'd been in this town and the area for 15 years or more. Since it's such a small town, everybody knew me. So if I'd just suddenly changed over, I think people would have been baffled and might have assumed that I'd simply flipped my lid.

I spoke to 11 people in all, and with most of them I had a fairly good chat about TGism. These were people who knew nothing about it, so it was an opportunity to explain a bit about what was involved, why I was unhappy about being in the closet, etc. In other words, I was able to tell them where I was coming from, and perhaps that made it easier for them to accept.

Smart or not, it worked and that's what counts. But my success was due more, I think, to the fact that all these people proved open-minded enough to accept me. If I'd gone about it some other way, perhaps they still would have accepted it. But I think the approach I took made it easier for them.

The main factor here is that this is a small town where I'm well known. Perhaps in a city this approach wouldn't work or wouldn't be necessary. I can't comment on that.

Annabelle

Once I started dressing I immediately wanted to go out into the real world dressed. I decided I wanted to find others like me, hopefully with the "going out" experience already under their belt. Thanks to this site I found the right people and finally when everyone's schedule and the moons and stars properly lined up we planned my first outing. I was less scared than maybe anxious as to how it would be, and I was excited at the opportunity to accomplish a major goal and desire for me.

For those that want to go out but have not yet for whatever reason, I really believe a partner/friend is one of the greatest confidence builders. I am not sure if I would have gone out so soon had I not found someone to go with me. I also think that for first timers the goal should not be to go out in the sexiest and flashiest outfit, but rather to go out dressed down versus dressed up. By that I mean something simple, jeans, slacks, a skirt and top, maybe a simple dress. Use modest makeup, comfortable shoes and do not leave your smile at home. In getting out that first few times, you want to build your courage and confidence, your feminine mannerisms (lose the male "ape walk", small steps please), soft makeup skills and maybe your voice, but I do believe that altering the voice is over rated based on my experiences. If necessary go to Tfriendly places, like gay/lesbian bars, quiet neighborhood bars where the bullying idiots do not normally frequent, a movie house, large chain restaurant, somewhere where you will have the best chance of fitting in and feeling some sense of comfort security and safety. For those that have to do it a lone, there is nothing wrong with just getting out in your car, walking in the park, or going through the drive thru at a fast food restaurant. These all serve as good stepping stones to again, build up your courage and confidence.

A lot of people like me had issues trying to get out of the house to take that first step. I live in a townhouse/condo complex and know and like all my neighbors. I would dress completely, then put on baggy male clothing (sweat pants and a sweatshirt work great), drive to a quiet parking are and complete my transformation there. I usually would put my base makeup on at home and then finish the eyebrows lipstick and wig while parked. On the way home, I would just repeat the process. It is different now that my son moved out, but when necessary I still follow that same basic process. Good luck to all of you wannabes. Take that first step and you probably will never look back.

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Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse

The main factor here is that this is a small town where I'm well known. Perhaps in a city this approach wouldn't work or wouldn't be necessary. I can't comment on that.

Annabelle

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The fact that you were able to come out so successfully in a small community speaks well for you and your friends. And suggests that the obstacles to coming out are indeed surmountable .

I've been out daily in small ways since the seventies. I'll wear jeans or t-shirts...stuff that's easy to explain away if caught. Sometimes if caught, I'll say I know it's a "Ladies", I just like it. Usually nobody cares. I never went out fully dressed until last week. That was a blast.

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

For those that want to go out but have not yet for whatever reason, I really believe a partner/friend is one of the greatest confidence builders. I am not sure if I would have gone out so soon had I not found someone to go with me. I also think that for first timers the goal should not be to go out in the sexiest and flashiest outfit, but rather to go out dressed down versus dressed up. By that I mean something simple, jeans, slacks, a skirt and top, maybe a simple dress.

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:iagree: I am so with Allie here. That helped me a ton.

I started by reading the shopping stories of a certain size zero beauty here. After reading about those shopping trips I asked if I could go along once..... in drab. She was very willing and I got to see just how easy and how much fun it could be. That day flipped my outlook and I haven't turned back. On my birthday just under 3 years ago, I got out the first time dressed by getting a make-up lesson at my local Ulta. Then I just started going. I now get out whenever it is reasonable. No work and not quite all my family members know (yet), so those are the drab times. One of my nieces and nephews just found out in the last few months and Sue will meet her tomorrow night and possibly him on Friday.

My longer story is here as I will save many from putting the long post in this thread.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-first-picture

The first times I ever went out happened when I had moved out of state, far from home. I went out late at night, and I'm sure looked pretty horrible. A few times I went to a shopping mall where all the stores were closed and walked around a bit. After doing that a few times, I actually stopped and filled up the car, then went inside the 7-11 to pay for the gas. This was before gas pumps had card readers. The girls behind the counter seemed amused more than anything. I'm sure I looked horrible!

For many years that is the only way I went out. Late at night. Sneaking around. Pretty sad really. In the last few years I've found that going out earlier in the day or even in the morning is a lot more fun.

The single thing that helped me more than anything else was getting the courage to go into a makeup shop and ask for help. This is my #1 advice for anyone wanting to gain the confidence to go out. The shop I happened to go into turned out to be the best choice. The owner has become a real friend and supporter. I am not her first CD'r. Most makeup shops have had crossdresser's come in before, so you aren't likely to be their first, and won't be their last.

I started dressing Sep 2011. i went out enfemme for the first time April 2012,and went out 4 times in three weeks, and loved it. I have not been out fully enfemme since, to keep wife happy, and miss it dearly, so I wear jeans, bra and blouse with androgynous female shoes, which to me does not qualify as going out dressed to keep my mind at peace with wife's boundaries. (Yes, i know I am lying to myself there, but let me have it, please)

My four times out were all in dresses, full wig, makeup, and heels. the first time i drove around town for a couple hours, stopped at local grocery and filled the car with gas. All done in the afternoon. I, like others, made sure I looked presentable and could deport myself appropriately before venturing, and did spend an hour at the front door window waiting for the neighbor to finish with his lawn work before I could drive out through the neighborhood.

I can still go out if I leave town, and dress there, and go out there, but nothing in town. i will be doing it, since once going out, it is just something I am meant to be doing, it is natural, even if very stressful now. i just need to work up to feeling good about leaving the wife for a day and night, getting a room, and going out on the town for an evening and the next day. It hurts me to think about doing this and leaving her at home, knowing what i am doing. I dearly wish she could share.

Barbara

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

I live in a townhouse/condo complex and know and like all my neighbors. I would dress completely, then put on baggy male clothing (sweat pants and a sweatshirt work great), drive to a quiet parking are and complete my transformation there. I usually would put my base makeup on at home and then finish the eyebrows lipstick and wig while parked. On the way home, I would just repeat the process. It is different now that my son moved out, but when necessary I still follow that same basic process.

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Brilliant, Allie! Thanks for the tip. I've only been out a few times, but completely female attire with wig & full make-up each time, and usually in broad daylight. I feel like Jane Bond peeking around the back of my house seeing if the coast is clear for me to click-clack down my driveway and into my car. I would have a lot of explaining to do if the neighbors spot me! Maybe they wouldn't be as wierded out if I'm just wearing foundation and baggy work-out clothes. ^_^

Sheesh, they probably know anyway... O_o;;

Hi,

Ill just recount the day well some of it, that is today,

I have Jos at home with me this week, so its been lovely , first off after the phone rang this morning our sons Wife rang us concerning family matters, after that we had our showers & wash got dressed & headed of to Timaru 1 / 2 an hour away. from us in Waimate, went to the library went to the building surplys shop, & picked a few things up from where Jos is staying, then home ,

We had some lunch about 3 this afternoon & i went to our Strawberry Fair, about 1500 to 2000 people i spent about an hour ,

talked with a few people selling thier ware & chitchat, then a few others i know form Waimate, here were we live,

The fare is held every year, about this time .

Okay how was i dressed,

A black long skirt in black with shiny velvet bands spaced at 6 in. from the top down each going all the way around the skirt, a white tee top. with a pink sleaveless jacket, my backpack come shoulder bag, & my head wear the one you see in my avatar twrlled around my head like a turbin . & my sneakers.

The day was over cast mild with a south east wind & some sun shineing through,

When Jos & i go shoping or any where, its no different i wear similer clothes, & Jos is lovely to have around .

Oh dear forgot , my makeup is eye browliner & lippy nothing else. & i walked there & home & say hi to a few more people as well.

Okay we have had a lovely relaxed day to gether,

...noeleena...

As for me I only wear female jeans on a daily basics along with my sneakers that came from lady foot locker no dresses or skirts have been doing this for years now. just dress like you want to and be your self and enjoy is all I can say

The first time I went out enfemme was to attend a local crossdresser support group. I left the house wearing sweat pants and a baggy jacket over my dress. Put on my make-up in the car and nearly ran through the hotel lobby to the room where the group was meeting.
Immediately I knew I needed more and began looking for more and more opportunities.
Now I am full time except for work. That will change in 2013 to 100% full time.

Like so many others, my first time out was just driving around the community at night to get a feel for "being out." I loved it. My first time really out was in Hong Kong after I shared my "secret" with a close, male friend who I thought I could trust [thankfully, I could]. I got dressed and we went out on a "date." He kept telling me to stop shaking or my eyelashes were going to fall off. I've never felt better in my life. We had dinner, went shopping FOR ME!!!!, went to a cinema, and returned to our hotel to talk about it for hours. He has never been interested in me romantically, just a really good friend to talk to.

I suppose that's another reason I'm here. Several of my friends know about Lara, but they are all guys and GGs. They are really clueless about what we face in our own minds and as we look the world in the eyes. Thank you for this place to vent and learn.

I've CDed off and on thru four wifes and three kids and now that my last wife walked out and told me she could no longer live with the two of me, I stayed in seclusion for almost a year and then one day a light bulb went on in my head and I said what are you doing LAURA. At that point I when fully into femme mode and have not looked back. When I look at my pictures of before and now I can't believe how much I have learned and how much better I look. Last month I decided to go full time and haven't looked back, scheduled to start HRT in January and can't be happier. Friends have changed and now they are the supporting type, just love them and can't wait to see what is in store for me as I progress down the HRT path.:2c:

I've been out and about for the first time twice, i.e. two very separate times of my life. The very first time was when I'd be maybe about 10 or 11 years old, and I probably looked aweful.

Then followed a long time when I could not dress, got married etc, children passed through the house. Then after dressing at home for a while and driving around I decided I needed to get out again and booked a makeover session with a day out. It worked wonders, learned a lot about blending in and also about relaxing.

Hannah

Candice doesn't go out often, she's only been out four or five times. Every time has been for a late night walk after a full day dressed. The first time Candice had a few drinks to calm her nerves, then touched up her make up and out she went. She sweated like crazy and squeezed the crap out of her purse strap, felt relieved to get back to her apartment... Only to carve more.

I've only been out at night to TG events and bars etc other than that I have yet to go out in broad daylight but I will be giving it a try in a couple months or so.
Right now I'm still learning how to look the very best I can before I venture out. Its not easy when you look ultra male and are built like a linebacker but thats life for some of us.

The big thing that has started to push me out the door is people on this forum and also talking with a couple gals from our Tri-ess group. Other than that I've had to put one high heel in front of the other and just started walking. I am slowly learning to quit judging myself, I used to call around to stores and ask them over the phone if they would be ok with me coming into their establishments, I have had only 1 negative reaction.
I decided a couple days ago that I won't be calling ahead again looking for approval as I won't care and I'm not going to put a kick me sign on my back again.
I forgot to say I just read the book called The successful Crossdresser by Lacy Leigh, it has helped me out a lot.

I would dress occasionally as a teen, and would try things on of my wifes in private every once in a while. Then one weekend last January, I was home alone and the urge hit to try her stuff on. While I was doing that, I wondered......wonder if I can get my own stuff, and try dressing when I travel?

I went to Goodwill that weekend, bought a dress and shoes, went to Walmart, got a bra, panties and thigh highs. At the Dollar Store I found cheep make up. I then looked up wigs and found a shop to go to the following Monday. Total expenditures about $80, a bit more than I initially figured, but once the bug hit, I was hooked.

I was out of town on business a couple days later. I dressed in my room the first night. It felt really good. I looked for gay bars that had drag shows online and found one. I went there the next night. There was no show, but I was welcomed in. People would come up and talk to me, I was accepted. I felt really good being out and about (once I was in, very very nervous before that)

The following week, I went to three different cities, and did the same thing each night. I was warmly welcomed everywhere. I even had a guy buy me a drink (wasn't looking to hook up and didn't) and in another place there was a bridal party. They invited me into their group and we danced the night away. I was really shocked by the way women responded to me. I didn't expect that at all.

Since then I have made a number of friends in a lot of places I travel regularly. I just go out to have fun, flirt and dance when I can. It's a bit challenging in heels, but I adapted to them pretty quickly. I go out a couple times a week now with no worries. I go shopping, try on cloths and to resturaunts. Even got pulled over in a small town for going a bit fast........that was frightening, but went well, with no problems. I now have a fb page just for Ceri with pics and all. I still have another step to take.......coming out to my wife, but I'm working towards that. She is very conservative, and I'm very worried at possible consequences. I am slowly working towards that goal though. It needs to happen.

My first time OUT in PUBLIC REALLY OUT I went to a TGirl week long event all about learning how to dress do make up etc. in Port Angeles Washington far enough away that I would not run into anyone I new. I only could afford the end of the week so missed alot of the early fun! But the end of the week included dinners, parties and dancing as a girl!!! The whole experience was an eye opener, there were over 160 of us. That was comforting and my first feeling that I did not have to lead a lonely existance. I learned so much in a short time and went from walking with my head down in the hotel to head up confidence on the rise. Had so much fun and the bonus met some gals from Portland my home town. This opened the door to occasional get togethers in town with friends. I must say just like this forum If you can find a Tgirl group or big event in your area or in another area which allows more freedom if you have fears, and you are willing to open the door and step into the public, the support is amazing! and my comfort level has grown so much.

There have been several different "first time out" experiences for me, each at a different level of committment and each one had it's own level of difficulty and two characteristics that were shared.

First was the 2:00 AM walk in the back yard wearing a skirt, top, wig, forms and makeup. It was nerve-wracking and I stood at the door for a full minute frozen before I opened it and stepped into the night air. After I got back in the house I was thrilled and wanted more.

Next was roughly the same experience, but at a motel during a business trip. This time I went to the ice machine after being frozen at the door before I stepped out. After I got back in my room i was thrilled and wanted more.

On a quiet summer Sunday morning, very early while everyone was sleeping I partly dressed and put on baggy gym wear. I got in the car and drove to an isolated spot in a rural area and finished dressing. Then I drove to a local theatre complex that wouldn't open for another 6 hours and after being frozen in the driver's seat for what seemed to be an eternity I got out and walked around. I repeated the process in reverse and while I cooked Sunday breakfast I wanted to get out more.

I took a trip to Las Vegas where I checked into a motel and dressed. I stood at the doorway on two successive nights, frozen to the spot with my hand on the door latch. I didn't get out and beat myself up all the way home.

I made another trip to Las Vegas, checked into a motel and dressed. I stood at the doorway frozen before I stepped out and closed the door behind me. I walked to the casino across the street, got paranoid and returned to my room fearing the worst all the way back. I decided the reason I was afraid was my outfit, so I changed and went out again, this time much more mainstream. I thought I had broken through some of my barriers.

Later on that same trip I dressed and met with other Crossdressers and my time frozen at the door got shorter and shorter each time. And each time I was ready to go out again the very next day.

It has been a long slow process that extended over 6 or 7 years from the first step into the night at my house to finally feeling at ease as I went out in Las Vegas. It was hard, every step of the way but for some reason I wanted and needed that freedom to express myself. It's not something we all want to do and some can do it easier than others. It's something you do at your own speed, but only if you want to. Some do it quickly, some take years and some never do.