Last CD hurrah?

Well, last night I got to the club after not being there for awhile and it was great dancing en femme again and I take to it as a duck takes to water. This was a special themed weekend TG/CD weekend of which they have about three a year. This is nice as it gives those folks who are bashful or closeted a further chance to spread their wings.

I re-connected with a couple of old friends that I hadn't seen in awhile and really had fun. While that was the case, I was thinking that this may be my last CDing hurrah. Not because of any issues or problems but because I have grown as a person and had been starting to develop my guy side since integrating my feelings some time ago.Most of my life I had been uncomfortable with my guy feelings. I think I may also have asked in a previous thread how long do we plan on doing this. I know some folks indicated perhaps until they die which I have seen happen really.

All in all I have a feeling of satisfaction in my life and have nothing more to prove really. I may have indeed reached that point where I'm ready to hang up my wigs and bras for good. Time will tell I guess.:)

This will be interesting to watch. Wonder if it will be like potato chips?

Hi Kate, Say it ain't so, We may have to have a going away party for you.

Kate, I think youre an exceptionally introspective person, and whatever you choose to do will be the best for you. Thanks for being your wonerful self, no matter which form you happen to take at any given moment.

Well I sure didn't see this coming. Quite surprised to say the least. But of course everyone has to be them selves, so I wish you well, but still will be hoping to see you around here more.

I hope as you open your next chapter you don't forget about us in your last chapter, and drop in and tell us how your doing. I have been on this site a few years now, and I have read a lot of your post and I know you have been very honest and always gave good advice when you answered some of my post. Wish you well in your next steps.

Or it could be one of the mood swings CDrs report here. Time will tell.

I'm apparently in a different mode, because I don't really feel this is about accomplishing some goal or proving something, but rather about being myself. Whether I'm going out or I never leave the house, I would and do prefer to spend my time as a woman as much as circumstances allow. At this point I do not foresee an end.

Everyone knows that quitting CDing has the same consequences as quitting Melange ("spice")!!!!!

Hey kate! I know exactly where you are coming from. One of my goals is to develop my femme side and integrate it with my male side. I too was not comfortable with my guy emotions and dressing has made a big difference in understanding myself better. So i think i get the cut of your jib.
Be vigilant about your guy side and make sure he stays healthy without dressing. I revert to my old, pre-dressing self to easily so im not ready to hang anything up. But if you are then im so happy for you. I mean that with all of my heart. Please stay with us, there is no telling how many more lives you can touch. Big hug...

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

I think I may also have asked in a previous thread how long do we plan on doing this. I know some folks indicated perhaps until they die which I have seen happen really.

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As we come to crossdressing from many different perspecitives, it stands to reason that how we go about it would also be different. As the act satisfies a very individualized need in all of of us, that need may get satisfied to the point of extinction in some and in others, not. It just depends...

However, while it seems somewhat unlikely that we will ever fully understand why we do what we do, what is important is that we be comfortable with how things are for us. When that point is reached, dressing becomes more of a considered expression and less of a compulsion.

Only you know what makes you happy Kate. Enjoy whatever you decide to do next.

Do what is right for you. I know I go through periods of no dressing or desire often. I get to thinking it is a waste of time money and life but then after a few months its back and I am at it again. Then the thrill is back. Personally I like the reprieve and it keeps the dressing exciting when I start again. Since crossdressing acceptance is almost main stream now It doesn't seem like that big a deal.

Regardless of what I do, I will still be coming here to make comments and see how my friends are doing. It will be quite a contrast as next weekend I'm going to my GF's family reunion and meeting more of her family. It always feels like a family reunion of sorts when I go dancing at the club and a lot of energy flows out. I'm not in the limelight per se but not in the shadows either and in full view of everyone doing my thing on the dance floor.If by what I do others are inspired to express themselves my mission is fulfilled. Whatever the case it makes me very happy. Dancing as Ericka is extremely fulfilling. I can't really explain why, you almost have to experience it to understand it. Perhaps going to the three times a year thing en femme would give me the break loose time that I need. :)

I went through a weight lifting period during my thirties, and did no crossdressing for about eight years. But, I started dressing again, just a little at first, then I was going out 3or 4 nights a week.
My suggestion, box up all your goodies, and put them in storage. I did, and I thanked myself eight years later. 😎

Glad you will be keeping in touch on the forum Kate. I think a lot of us have periods when we set aside the CD'ing for a while. Have you had periods in the past when you did that and then returned to CD'ing later? In my case it always seems that when it comes back the need and desire is stronger than ever. Good luck on your life's journey!
Hugs,
Stephanie

Kate,
Things do change and there is a lot of been there done that, in all our lives.
Whatever you do there are always new interests to spur you on and from the CD perspective maybe you will just tone it down a little.
I don't see interest waning completely, unless there is some other interest in your life, usually this leads to purging, now you know not to do this.

Whatever it is, a flat spot in your life maybe, just keep your chin up and look for new adventures, dressing is something you should be able to come back to one day. Do keep us posted.

Kate, I see myself moving in your direction. Sort of?

I'm increasingly resisting going out in public dressed as me. And, Sherry is no more welcome at T events than she is amongst the Muggles. At present, I'm still more uncomfortable being out with other dressers and being the only one not dressed. But, maybe I will get over that in time?

I don't plan on decreasing my dressing. It's just that I enjoy dressing so much more as Sherry and in private!

Which I may do as well RS. A while back I found a video tape I had made 30 years ago of myself dancing en femme to various pop songs.I was very closeted then. It was obvious back then that this was my venue. Other than being more honed and polished these days, I don't see much difference with the private dancing and dancing publicly at the club in full view. In any case I would be proud to be out there in public with you as Sherry my friend without hesitation. :battingeyelashes::)

ahh so Kate made it to the Rainbow Mountain thingy...good for you...be sure to email me and tell me all about it..how was the pool area??

Kate - those videos are crying out for conversion from Betamax to MPEG... that would be like leaving a collection of van Gogh's to the nation.. :)

I'm sure your feelings are valid and if you've attained a state of greater harmony then that is something to be celebrated... I'm truly happy for you! :yahoo:

Would that more of us could get there as well, there might be less need for somewhere like this... and for sensitive and caring people like yourself... :hugs:

Time will tell but you may take years to wind down... I hope so...

Katey x

I've been thinking about this off and on all day Katey. Even if I'm not necessarily doing it myself, I may offer to help others like kind of a mentor or something but only if asked. I got to the pinnacle all on my own mostly before the Internet and freer communications and openness. That having been said I may go ahead and dress for special occasions through the year. We'll see.:)

An interesting delimmma, Kate. I use to go nuts waiting for a chance to dress in femme and would go all out with make-up, heels, and knock out dress and jewelry, etc. My long dressing time usually came once or twice a year when the wife and would rent a cabin or beach bungalow far from home and spend a week or so dressing and having fun. Then, hard work and good fotune allowed us to buy a few places in some of our favorite locations. Because it's closer to my businesses, I based myself in one of these and was able to get my girl on whenever I wanted.

Over time, in this new environment and the freedom I enjoy, my dressing habits changed dramatically. Make-up is rare for me anymore, and I gravitate to the simple and comfortable. I quite often opt not to dress as well. From this I've learned that the pink fog is non-existent as long as I don't have to bottle myself up and deny dressing when the compulsion strikes. I have no doubt that if I got back in a situation to where I could not dress "as needed" the pressure would build back up and I'd be a caught in the fog. Might be a lesson in that for all of us.

For part time CDers, letting the male side of you develop naturally as well is very important.

I agree that saying it's forever, and throwing all your stuff away may be a mistake (at least for the pocketbook if you're heavily invested in your dressing), but make sure the pink fog doesn't let your other half stay emotionally stunted.

Learn to express yourself as a guy, and enjoy him too!

Many of us fully embrace our guy side and still like to dress up occasionally (or often). I don't see it as betraying masculinity. I'm just a [otherwise] normal guy, not an overcompensating macho man. I like all things men typically do (husband, dad, sports, outdoor activities, handyman, etc. etc.) No amount of "guy stuff" diminishes my desire to crossdress. And so I do both.

Badwold, I agree.. I went to a place in Wisconsin three days last week, to fish and swim, and was planning on tking some lady clothes along. but, knowing i would be sleeping in my car, and the hassle it would be to dress up in my car, i decided to leave the lady bag at home, and just be a guy for the fishing and swimming and walking. I survived , was only checked by cops once, for sleeping in my car.

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

All in all I have a feeling of satisfaction in my life and have nothing more to prove really. I may have indeed reached that point where I'm ready to hang up my wigs and bras for good. Time will tell I guess.:)

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I checked your bio before posting to refresh my recollections of some of your previous postings. You're six weeks older than I. I agree with you on the statement we have nothing else to prove. I will not say that means we are ready to "check out" of this life. For me it means as a comfortable retire much of the stress that comes with a male has been alleviated. For the last several months I have not had the desire to dress. I have speculated in my mind over and over what has caused that. I find I am still attracted to this site. I am still attracted to the visual, i.e., nicely attired women. Still, with the time I have on my hands the desire has weakened. I am a realist who knows the urge may return. I wonder when the summer is over and my wife returns to work will the dressing be forced? Will I dress just to see if I still feel the same? I do not feel any shame or self loathing as I did in my early youth.

I have never had any regrets being a man with the exception of being in the infantry in Nam. That period in my life did have an effect on my cross dressing. Cross dressing was an outlet to escape bad memories. Those being somewhat resolved has eliminated the necessity of seeking an escape. Maybe hormonal changes of advancing age has also had an effect? I don't know. I do know the journey has opened my mind to alternative lifestyles. It has taught me not to judge others and to defend the rights of others. If I did not the journey would have been wasted.

But, Kate, I know what you are feeling. We'll see where it all goes.

I know what you mean Stephanie. I, myself, had two tours in Nam and due to my particular MOS in Intel buried a lot of things for years that I didn't want to face. Being a man made me do this? I had fully intended to transition to a woman when I got out but meeting my future wife changed all that. I had never regretted being a husband and a father but still had the nagging of dressing and finally addressed it head on and lived it 24/7 for awhile. This,of course, signaled the end of my marriage but it's something I had to do to get in touch with my deep feelings.Once I amalgamated all of my feelings and took ownership of them I was able to pursue my guy options. I found someone who didn't think the CDing was a big deal and we get along fine. Life is what we make it after all. :)

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Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID

Hi Kate, Say it ain't so, We may have to have a going away party for you.

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When a crossdresser comes out to everyone, it's a "coming out party." So since Kate is going to stop, should it be a "going in party"?

:)

~Mel

That would assume there is a closet, meaning something that needs to be kept hidden.

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Originally Posted by Melissa_59

When a crossdresser comes out to everyone, it's a "coming out party." So since Kate is going to stop, should it be a "going in party"?

:)

~Mel

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Well Kate if that was to be your swan song, I'm glad I was there to share it with you. Did I have the last dance with the incredible Kate.
Seriously, you've been an example that I've used to understand and enjoy this part of me. Both on this forum and our face to face chats through the years. Whatever you decide to do, you are my friend.

I'm inspired when others enjoy being themselves Nikki, especially my friends. I was happy that both you and Nancy(and her BF) came. It was great to see both of you having fun dancing and doing karaoke. I really love dancing en femme. That's what it's all about for me. I've learned to work within the limits of my diabetes and still have fun as long as I behave. I may just cut the occasions down to a few times a year with the CD weekends and Christmas party at the club. We'll see how it goes after all this stuff is in my blood my friend.:battingeyelashes::)

Kate,

We haven't met, but I've been inspired by many of your posts. Your insights have always been on the spot. My only request is: don't purge.....and if you do, offer your outfits on this site. I've hoped to meet you in your corner of PA, and if we do, I'm fine with whoever you are. You are an inspiration.

Dee :fairy1:

Thanks Dee. It would indeed be my pleasure to meet you Hon.:)

That sounds like a good intermediate step. If you don't dress for long enough, then get rid of your stuff, but don't do it to stop the urge.

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

I'm inspired when others enjoy being themselves Nikki, especially my friends. I was happy that both you and Nancy(and her BF) came. It was great to see both of you having fun dancing and doing karaoke. I really love dancing en femme. That's what it's all about for me. I've learned to work within the limits of my diabetes and still have fun as long as I behave. I may just cut the occasions down to a few times a year with the CD weekends and Christmas party at the club. We'll see how it goes after all this stuff is in my blood my friend.:battingeyelashes::)

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Dear Kate,
Maybe one day I'll get to where you are. It must be quite a wonderful feeling.
And very glad to hear you'll stay in touch here, I really have appreciated your insight, experience and humour.

Christen x