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A question I have is about leg posture if that is the right word. For example guys typically sit with knees apart, ladies no. I find it had to sit like that for very long. The muscles get tired of holding that position. And crossing your legs lady like? For get a bout it! Just can't seem to do it.
I only remember to try to do it when I'm dressed. I probably should do it more often.
Can anyone give some information on accomplishing this? Does it get easier over time?
Thanks
I would love to be able to cross my legs all ladylike, but it seems I'm not built for that :D
So I usually just make sure to keep my knees together and cross my ankles. Occasionally I manage to simulate a decent leg cross, if I'm in the right chair or on the edge of a bed or something, as demonstrated in some of my pics on the photo thread ...
There are some good YouTube videos out there...practice helps too. Like walking in heels eventually you can get the hang of it. If crossing your legs like a girl is tricky you might try sitting with your legs together but crossed at the ankles under the chair.
Hi AlanaG
Crossing your legs while sitting does give more of a feminine appearance however I think it's even more important to remember to stand with your feet together. Looking like a fullback doesn't aid you if you're looking to present a more feminine stature.
All of it gets easier. Practice, Practice, Practice!
Even when I was a skinny little kid, I could never cross my legs as women do, and I still can't. The best ladylike leg-crossing I can manage is keeping my thighs together and crossing my ankles as Renee Elise said.
I think it all depends on a persons individual stature and physique. I just naturally sit with my legs crossed in what I suppose might be construed as a feminine manner. Someone with shorter, thicker legs might find it uncomfortable or near impossible.
I can't seem to do the male way. I don't know why. I remember, growing up and in church, my dad would sit "lady-like".
Hi Alana, I try to set with my legs crossed and check my walk to a feminine gate.
When iwear a skirt or dress I often sit with my legs crossed at the knee and if feels so natural for me. Just keep doing it you will get it in time.:hugs:
Angie
When I was younger, about 20 years ago and back, I was able to cross my legs and cross my ankles. I can now only cross my legs. I believe it has to do with flexibility more than anything else. Back then, my legs were much more muscular than they are today. Having a good tuck also improves the ability to cross the legs.
I can cross my legs at my ankles easily, but assuming a feminine leg crossing while sitting on the sofa is out of the question.
I do try to keep my legs together whenever I'm sitting and I try to walk with a feminine pose as much as possible.
Honestly, I think that if you want and need to look like a lady, that you need to cross your legs "lady like". You surely try to walk, "lady like", correct? I do my best and I'm built like a linebacker.....
You have to consider that natural women have been doing this everyday, every minute of their lives since birth...they have been practicing wayyy longer than us, we have a lot of catching up to do!:2c:
Suzanne
I've been fortunate to be able to cross my lady like. I have long legs and my wife even jabs me sometimes when I cross them in guy mode. I do it without thinking sometimes
I have been working on learning to do this for years. I think it looks so fem and hot!
I can verify that it helps to have slim legs. The knee crossing is easier. Plus, when have u ever seen a big woman cross her knees?
Attachment 234483
I sit most of the time with my right leg over my left knee it helps support my worn out back and I can also see my lovely 3" open toe wedge shoes and painted nails
AlanaG
I don't know how it works. But I always could and do continue to cross my legs in what would be considered a feminine manner. It's not a "girlie" pose, but more professional. I can still wrap a foot behind the opposite leg to go super girlish, but it is not what I will do in every day life. The ability to cross ones legs in a certain manner seems to dependent on more that desire. If it is difficult, keep doing it. I can only get easier.
Della
Practice helps, as I do not have thin legs, but biker thighs, and still cross my legs rather naturally. If you really struggle with it, there is the knees together feet splayed out or together to one side method that is feminine.
The danger to this is that if you really do want to remain off the radar, then you don't want it to become second nature. It is for me and I have gotten some odd looks: I have well maintained shaved legs for years now, so at one point this summer, I was not "thinking about it" and had my legs crossed, fairly short shorts on, and my sister in law stopped in her tracks and stared at my legs for a few beats, furrowed her brow, and walked off. She has not quite treated me the same since. (My brother in law is about as cisGendered as a human can get, the poster boy for socially constructed "maleness.") The joke is on her I suppose, as I admire and envy her wardrobe while my brother in law doesn't seem to ever notice!
PS: My avatar is not quite a natural pose, I was too busy playing around with the camera!
I have always crossed my legs and often sit with them parallel.
I have never known anything different and I do get picked occasionally for doing it.
Same here. I love sitting like this, makes me look more feminine and it improves my composure. Only downside is that you indeed get some weird looks sometimes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverley Sims
Sometimes I twirl my ancle around the other side of my leg for the ultimate lady-agile look.
It like anything, practice all the time even in male mode, now it just normal.
Same with me. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverley Sims
Some elements of leg posture originate in deeply ingrained behavioural constructs. Typically the legs open / apart position is an aggressive / dominance position. It is easier and quicker to stand up from this position and establish a physical height dominance. Legs together but not crossed is often a submissive flight position, especially if the legs are pointed away from others. Again it is easier to stand up and "flight" from a social interaction from this position.
The typical legs crossed at the knee position is a relaxed body posture that is basically saying "i'm not interested in fleeing but I am also not interested in fighting", it is a confident body posture typically. It is more difficult to stand up from this position so the person who sits like this is confident and relaxed. Watch interviewers on television and also interactions in relaxed environments and you will find a lot more of this sitting position in both men and women. Socially women are probably more likely to adopt this sitting position due to wearing dresses and skirts and the need for modesty.
I must admit I didn't realise many people physically couldn't cross their legs at the knees :o. I just sort of assumed everyone could! I think crossing the legs at the ankles is similar to crossing them at the knees in terms of body language.
Nicole and Renee said it best!
same for me. I've always been able to sit with my legs crossed.
I read somewhere a while back that some men are unable to cross their legs like girl and it has to do with the distance between the hips.
Personally, my hips are wider than the average male's so, there might be some truth to this. :)
I want to thank everyone for their feedback. I'm going to be working on it.
With short thick legs like mine it is very hard to do. I try to practice. It puts stress on some beat up knees and gives the hips a little stress also. But I will keep practicing until I can either do it or not.
I've learned to cross my legs when sitting in a comfortable chair but usually keep my knees together and only cross my ankles. I have never been able to sit on a sofa with my legs curled along side.
Crossing at the knees hurts after a short time for me. I have fat thighs and short legs though.
Used to be able to cross my legs right over left until my knees wore out. Now I just keep the knees together they best I can. It's harder because we're not built the same way as women are.
I think women can more easily cross their legs at the knee because their hips are wider, so that the angle formed by their legs from hips to knees is less acute. Put your hands close together and try to cross your index fingers at the second knuckle. The further apart you separate your index fingers at the first knuckle, the easier to cross them at the second.
That said, I find it easy to cross my right leg over my left knee, but very difficult to do the reverse. It is also much more comfortable doing the cross when wearing hose - for some reason.:)
It has sort of come natural to me. In fact, I was accused of sitting like a girl once in high school. I wasn't even trying! I also have a tendency to curl my feet up under me when I'm sitting casually.
There are three reasons why ladies have less trouble sitting that way.
First, women have wider hips, their legs are further apart. As a result, they have a bit more maneuvering room.
Second, men tend to have more muscle in their thighs and the bulk increases because they don't keep their knees together the way women do.
Third, women do cross their legs regularly, which stretches tendons, ligaments, and muscles, making it progressively easier to do so.
In General women are also lighter than men, with a lower average body weight for their height, which means less fat to impede keeping knees together.
When I was at my lower weights, around 160 lbs, I could not only cross my legs but I could wrap the ankle of my upper leg around the calf of my lower leg. Even in Jr high and high school, many girls pointed out that most men were incapable of doing that, but it was my favorite way of sitting.
If you want "Lady like legs", there a several things you can do. Yoga, ballet, modern dance, Jazzercise, Zumba, or Aerobic dance are all excellent ways to shed a lot of weight, especially on your belly, legs, and thighs, while stretching the calf and thigh muscles and tendons. Even better wear shorts or tights to class. They will not only give you better movement, but the instructor will encouraged you NOT to do the things men usually do to "bulk up" their muscles (too much weight, too much strain, tearing muscles, building bulk).
If you use weights, use lighter weights, a two pound dumbells and if you use weight machines for legs, use 10-20 lbs, then to repititions until you just start to feel tired. That creates long striated muscles without tearing which causes the bulking that body builders try to achieve.
Instead of deep squats, do ballet moves, the pleay (sic) bending the knees and only dropping 6-8 inches. This will again build long lean legs without creating the bulk generated by exercises like deep knee bends, deep squats, and heavy lifting.
A good diet helps too. Learn to love salads with just a little chicken or fish. Avoid fatty red meats and starches. Men eat red meat and potatoes, women tend to eat greens, fish, and turkey, which gives them needed vitamins without the weight gain.
Finally, practice crossing your legs like a lady, and keeping your knees together, even when you are in "guy mode".
Men spread their legs to mark their territory, but it's also a display of masculinity, almost like "my boy parts are so big I can't keep my legs together when I sit". Silly if you think about it, but it's quite common behavior, especially among alpha males. I've been on airplanes sitting on the window seat with a woman on the outside seat and the alpha male in the center will try to spread his knees so wide that both of us are sitting almost with our backs to him because there is no room for our legs. On subway trains, if a man takes a seat, he will spread his legs to keep other men from taking the seat next to them. If an attractive woman arrives, he will instinctively bring his knees closer, as an invitation for her to sit, then press his knees out again almost touching hers, to protect his territory, which now includes her.
It's so organic to alpha males that they are completely unaware of it. For transsexuals, sitting like a guy is not so natural and we often have to make a conscious effort to learn to sit like a guy. When we forget and sit the way we naturally like to sit - knees together or crossed at the knee, with the upper leg hip slightly raised, we are often perceived as homosexual - because people often assume that a man who exhibits feminine posture must be trying to attract men.
I've seen the opposite in transgender women as well. Even in grade school, the tomboys would often sit in a circle or row with their legs spread, even when they were wearing skirts or dresses. It was like they instinctively had to protect their territory, even though they were not necessarily aware that such behavior was more typical of boys.
I find that when I do sit in figure 4, I put the ankle of my bent leg under my other leg rather than over it. Another organically feminine move.
More than you wanted to know, right :D
Apropos of nothing, it's spelled plié.
I find a good tuck helps me cross my legs more easily but being slim helps too. One reason it is easier for GG's is that their hips are wider apart at the inner thigh so their thighs don't meet like a males. I agree that keeping your knees together can be tiring if you don't strengthen those muscles.
The feet together while standing is a good tip as is keeping your elbows in close to your sides and your wrists out a bit away and relaxed..
I usually even as in male mode cross my legs and find it harder to sit in a male cross leg with Knees apart more. Last week I was sitting watching TV and my wife pointed out to me when sitting on the couch with legs parallel that I should position my feet with heel of the foot up, almost like I am wearing a high heel and not with my foot flat, that looks more masculine. And even when I cross my legs to point my foot outward. These little details really make a difference.
DebbieL-"In General women are also lighter than men, with a lower average body weight for their height, which means less fat to impede keeping knees together."
Maybe that's true in NJ but definitely not in SoCal, Debbie. And, the women seem to have chubbier legs here, too.
What I believe men have more of in their thighs and legs is muscle. Which is less malleable than fat.
It wasn't until I read this thread that I realized just how much I sit, say when watching TV, with my legs crossed. Right over left is slightly easier to do than left over right. That may be because I'm right handed and have favored doing it that way and my tendons etc are more use to it.
As Jeninus says;
"It is also much more comfortable doing the cross when wearing hose - for some reason". I think the reason is the hose allow each leg to move more readily against each other, less friction.
I am able to cross my legs at the knees but mostly I cross them at the ankles. Also, I find that I can keep my knees together for sustained periods of time.
I am working on keeping my knees together when sitting down or standing up. My goal is that by constantly adopting female ways of sitting and standing that they will become second nature to me. With each day that passes I am less concerned with what other people think.
Basically there are a couple of principles that I try to keep in mind. One is when sitting, or sitting and moving to a standing position, or in a standing position moving to a sitting position to keep your knees together. When standing keep your legs close together and do not let the gap get to big. Another principle is to basically consume less space rather than more and basically be compact which kind of fits into most things about being lady like. Also when sitting keep the back straight. and When walking keep shoulders back and take small steps. Wearing a tight skirt that goes below the knees is great practice for getting in the hablt of small steps, since the tight skirt will not allow big steps. When you position yourself you should try to be as graceful as possible. I still have work to do to become more lady like.
So to sum it up, take up less space rather than more.
Not everyone can physically cross their legs, either their legs are too short, too thick or both, GGs and GMs alike. I can't cross mine at the knee, and will never be able to. I'd like to be able to, but I'd also like to be taller and not suffer from male pattern baldness, but hey life is unfair sometimes. I can cross them at the ankle for a while, but it does get fatiguing, especially when wearing higher heels.
One tip for those who find it uncomfortable to keep your legs crossed at the ankles: If you are sitting at a table in a restaurant at a table with a tablecloth that hangs over the edges, you can put your legs under the tablecloth, relax your legs and sit however you like (since no one can see your legs or anything else.) This can release the strain of having to cross at the ankle so you can go back to crossing them at the ankle later on if you need to.
Alana,
I was wondering if guys have more of a problem crossing their legs because of their equipment getting in the way ?
I don't have a problem crossing my legs, I nearly always do when in waiting rooms usually doctor or dentist, it gives something to prop the magazine on ! Looks like the receptionist could be saying , " There goes another CDer !"
I love the look of the stockings stretched over the knees when you cross your legs !!
I've always done the knee cross seems natural for me. As I've lost weight I can now do the double cross in a chair.
I'm with Teresa, it looks so good in stockings and short dress or skirt.
I never thought of this really. But I do tend naturally to sit cross legged. But I guess it's a physical thing as I have long slim legs, much to my wife's chagrin as hers are less so.
I hardly ever sit legs apart it feels wrong possibly because I grew up in a house full of girls.
But there is a good reason for men to do so. Testicles need to be lower than body temperature to maintain fertility.
My grandfather was 6'3" and all leg. He often sat with his legs crossed at the knee. I never gave it any thought, but I feel safe in assuming he was NOT a CDer. :battingeyelashes:
I have seen men sit with their legs crossed at the knee quite often - admittedly most of them have very long legs, but even if the didn't, as a GG I never gave any thought to them being a CDer. It always seemed to look pretty natural. Now if he was sitting with his legs crossed and they didn't quite "fit" I would wonder "Why is he sitting like that? He looks uncomfortable". My guess is men typically don't sit that way because their thigh muscle is larger and it's just not comfortable. I'm not sure it's really even comfortable for women. My feet sometimes fall asleep if I'm sitting for long periods of time. We do it more out of habit and to prove that, there's a game that used to be played at bridal/baby showers. When each guest arrives they are given 5 wooden clothes pins. Every time you catch another guest crossing her legs you get to take one of her clothes pins. The person with the most clothes pins at the end of the party wins. That person is usually the one paying attention.... :heehee:
BTW, girls in my day were taught to "sit like a lady" when we were young because we wore dresses and you wouldn't want anyone to be able to see your underpants.