do we pass as women or just man in dress? that pople putup whith us
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do we pass as women or just man in dress? that pople putup whith us
I sometimes do pass quite well. Sometimes I don't. Yet people have called me miss every time.
I wonder about this too. But does it really matter if it is "passing" or "acceptance"? Perhaps there is very little difference between the two.
Hugs,
Persephone.
Persephone I think your right, at times it can be good and times it can be bad but I try to be realistic about things, in this case it's telling me that I'm clearly not going to be seen as a woman, but adding to that it is also saying people are more accepting, unwilling to insult or are more supportive, perhaps all 3.
I've passed quite well in public.
:)
Maybe pass from afar but close up no but then again behavior and mannerisms help. As far as I'm concerned they have to put up with me because I'm not going away any time soon. As long as any confrontation doesn't turn violent we can go our merry way.
you are correct sometimes you pass sometimes you don't.
but mostly people just don't care.
From the back I have been mistaken for a women since the late 80's. With my hair being as long as it is people just assume I'm a women. I gotta tell ya, it got me a lot of free drinks before the guy saw my face :)
Till this day I still get mistaken because of my hair. And I think I clean up pretty nicely. And as the saying goes, they hate to see me leave but they love to watch me walk away :cute:
Honest, I know some women that dont pass, lol. For me I think it is more just about social acceptance than anything.
It depends on the lighting :-) But for me really no I don't pass super well without a lot of work.
I can pass really well but nobody passes once someone is up close. I was told by a woman that if I was shorter than my 6' then I'd have zero problem.
Only in my dreams. While I try really hard, make up, wig, mannerisms, I'm a 6'2 male in a dress.
While at a visitor center recently, a tall woman walked in. Mini skirt, great legs, cleavage top and great boobs (they seemed natural). Then she spoke in a deep voice and sounded like Louis Armstrong, giving it away. But she carried herself as if she owned the place. So no one said anything. Key observation - she had confidence and didn't care.
Ineke
I know I am a man in a dress but if someone finds that attractive.....that would make me happy!
I really don't care if I pass or if it is just acceptance. The only person I aim to please is myself. As long as I'm treated nice I'm OK with it.
Hell-o Slamddoger,
I've recently been told by 2 GG's, one a therapists wife, and the other a hairdresser, that I pass.
And then I said "thank you"! (The smoke faded, and the mirrors stopped reflecting)
It really doesn't matter, if your comfortable enough to be out, and someone sees you as a "dude in a dress". So what!
As long as your going about your business, being polite, and acting respectful, anyone that has issues with you just being you, has there own problems to deal with.
And really... Don't you just "put up" with people all the time?
Much Love,
Kristyn
I can pass,sometimes I don't but the bottom line is I am still a man in a dress
I get read a lot lately...but as a chic...when I'm in drab...good thing I'm OK with it 😯
I gather you're asking how others perceive you? I think it depends on the person and what they believe this is all about.
People who understand will respect that you feel feminine and they will accept that when you dress you want to be treated as a woman. People who don't understand will see you as a man in a dress. They won't understand your motives.
I will settle for being accepted and treated politely-I do not mind being mistaken for a lady
If you're not sure whether or not u have passed? U've PASSED!
As someone who never passes, take my word for it. People treat u completely different if they take u for a female without a second thot. :battingeyelashes:
It's happened to me a few times at Halloween. There's huge difference in being snickered at, tolerated, treated overly polite, or ignored as someone that is not a bonafide female and passing!:eek:
Well said Kristyn.....too much time & energy is wasted on passing, Ive seen insecure gals who sent me pics asking if they pass, and they look great. Its the confidence, and attitude they have that just needs adjusting. xoxoQuote:
Originally Posted by Hell on Heels
Perhaps there is a third option: indifference. There is no need to react to everything one encounters on the street. Over the years I've run into some people who feel it is necessary to formulate an opinion about everything. It really annoys some people when I indicate I do not have an opinion. I suspect many cross dressers are operating under the illusion they are "passing" because there is no obvious recognition. In the last several years I have seen two very very unpassable cross dressers in my small city, one twice. In the three encounters I searched the faces of the people approaching or around them, and, nobody gave them a glance let alone a second look. It really is possible for the brain to receive information process it and store it without making a big deal about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone
depends on the down... i only pass if it's 3rd and long, otherwise i run!
the pats might have won the superbowl if they followed that theory... :D
There's often too much emphasis in crossdressing communities on passing. If by "passing," one means that a significant majority of people, upon encountering us in public (no bad/low lighting to help us out, not from across a parking lot, eveybody's sober, etc.) would never even suspect that we're male, then no, hardly any of us pass. I'm OK with that. But when I say there's too much emphasis on it, I mean that I've seen/participated in CD communities where the passers (many of whom actually identified as transgender rather than crossdressers, and were on HRT, etc.) have been showered with attention, with a weird undercurrent that they're what everyone else should be aspiring to be. In other words, passing just becomes a vehicle by which CD communities can judge and discriminate on the basis of looks. In that case, I suppose those who crossdress out of a sense of wanting to "be" women are getting just that, though likely not in a manner they wanted or expected.
Some CDs are fortunate enough (fortunate, that is, if passing is important to them in the first place) to have less obviously masculine features. They're shorter, their frames and feet are smaller, their jawlines are softer, their shoulders are narrower and less square, their bodies are less hairy, their adam's apples are less prominent, their hands are softer and smaller, their body fat isn't as prominently collected around their bellies, etc. But that actually doesn't describe the majority of CDs I've seen. Most of us have some dead giveaway features that make it pretty clear that we're men.
I think the majority of the time that crossdressers out in public get treated as women (e.g., referred to by female pronouns, etc.), it's done out of courtesy (or perhaps just not wanting to be an asshole or come off as possibly anti-trans); in most cases, even the folks saying "miss" and "ma'am" to us have a pretty good inkling that we're biologically male. And, as others have pointed out, most folks actually don't care that much. I'm sure all sorts of people have snickered or said/whispered things about me behind my back once I'm out of sight/earshot. That doesn't bother me, but I also don't extrapolate from the fact that nobody does so to my fact as evidence that I'm passing.
Some of us pass as women some of the time. Looking at the photos posted and the avatar photos, many of us might pass, depending on the circumstances, some could be read by Ray Charles. If you are 6' 4" and 240 lb, your chances of passing are slim not matter what the situation. I am fortunate to be shorter and lighter and my assumption is that I would pass walking on a busy street to a casual observer. Of course I've never walked up to a stranger on the street and asked if he or she thought I was a woman. Post some photos of yourself and ask if you pass if that's what you're really asking.
As far as people putting up with us, most people do. Waitresses and sales people are out there to make a living and if we are spending money, it's to their advantage to put up with us. For most people on the street, it's not something they want to make an issue of. Some people, of course, do want to make an issue of it, either by comments or by challenging our right to imitate a woman. There have been stories here of having the police called and there have been stories here of physical attacks.
BTW: You will have a far better chance of passing as a woman if you dress and wear your makeup like one. That may mean toning it down a bit. Forget the miniskirt and six inch heels. Wear what a woman would wear for the time and place, even though it might be jeans, a T shirt and flats or sandals. Don't forget a purse.
I choose to have the standard of "pass me by". If I can get around the corner before they turn to say "What was that?" I'm happy.
I don't know what is going on in other people's minds unless there is some interaction that gives me a clue. I've been called Ma'am and I've been called Sir when I've been out, so I'm thinking the difference is primarily the attitude of the person who is paying attention to me. Fortunately only a small percentage of people ever pay attention when I'm out in public and many of those are being paid to be polite and respectful of customers. So it's probably a bad sample, but as long as I don't have to put up with ignorant behaviors, I'm usually just fine.