Do you feel a need for more social interaction when dressed at times?

I live alone so can dress a fair amount. But lately I feel when I'm Jessica an almost over powering need to have social interaction. It can at times be as simple as talking to someone online or on the phone. Other times I so want someone to go shopping with, out to lunch, or simply relax at home talking and sharing a bottle of wine with someone. Just need some face to face communication. I do have a small number of female friends I'm out to but they are married and some have kids so their time is limited. But it just seems the need gets greater and greater as time goes by. Anyone else ever experience this.

You can always chat here.

I used to show a friend my new dresses and tell him how much I love the dresses but I could see he thought it was weird, So I told I told him I grew out of it.

But you can PM most of us to chat! AS you can see I like to show my photos. I feel I'm getting out of my secret world!

I'd be happy to chat with you, Jessie. I'm new to this site, but finding the participation to be great therapy for me. Feel free to friend me.

Hi Jessie, I felt much the same way you do when I finally started fully dressing and building a wardrobe. At onetime I thought that if I just got to be able to dress fully, head to toe, that would be enough, but then when I finally did it, there was a sense of "is that it? is that all there is?" I mean, it felt great to express myself how I wanted and to be dressed as a girl, but I craved more. I wanted to beseen and to be able to see others. We're social creatures, and I think being able to build community and interact with other people also validates our existence, which for so many new girls is a solitary one, and to be honest, can feel like we aren't real, or that we're not really presenting as a girl.

Hope you find what you're looking for. I'm happy to chat if you're interested. Message me and we can exchange info. :)

Hugs,
Raeleen

Yep. I reached the point where being dressed and NOT going out is the same as hiding for me. Why would I want to hide? Now, if I am dressed, I am going out

Exactly why I'm here. I did reach out to others in my area. Almost all were wanting, "Ahem" something else. Thank you, but no thank you.

I constantly desire someone/anyone to interact with. I am dadt with my spouse so no interaction there. I have developed friendships with a few waitresses and SA's. But would love to have more. Schedule does not allow me to connect with a local group, or offer a consistent friendship to others. I am resigned to the fact that this is the world as I know it.

Absolutely. Just dressed and going out is not enough. Without interaction, it feels like a ghost floating through the world. Nobody interact with you, and you interact with nobody. Human are social animal. We need to be acknowledged, recognized, and more importantly, accepted as who we are. Interacting with people is very important to me. That means having friends, and being accepted by your family members and your SO.

Unfortunately, that creates a lot of conflict for us, and often is unattainable. I am in DADT with my SO. I may try to tell more to my parents, but they are conservative, and it is unnecessary to bother them with this (they don't live with me). And my SO does not like me to out myself to our friends. So there are really very limited options.

I know there is an event right now in Vegas for CDs. It would be nice to have small, regional CD parties once in a while to chat with each other and share tips on what we like. Do they already exist or is it just the big ones in Vegas?

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Originally Posted by JessieA

IBut it just seems the need gets greater and greater as time goes by. Anyone else ever experience this.

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Jessie,

I know just what you mean. A few years ago I had ample opportunities to dress at home (alone). As time went by the desire to go outside grew ever bigger. At first time spent sitting on the patio filled the need, (the breeze around the legs thing) but that soon faded and a desire to put heels to pavement took over.

I had the opportunity to go fully enfemme out and about but avoiding too close a contact with the muggles. Confidence grew and a need to interact took over. Firstly as drive thoughts to get food (macs) or getting fuel at a garage. The big step change for me was finding a monthly support group and chatting to others about their shopping experiences. If then could do it so could I and the next day I hit the shops, then cinema and restaurants.

Dressing at home is a bit like being a mannequin in a shop that's shut. It needs to be seen to be appreciated.

I would love to socialize with other cd'rs in a safe environment. There is no such opportunity in my town.

I am not a overly social person, but I would at the least like to get out do shopping enfemme. I have a GG friend I can talk to or I can vent here. I do agree it would be nice to talk with people face to face. Maybe some day my wife will be ready to meet sara and go out.
Sara

Yeah can totally relate. I used to just get fully dressed and maybe have a glass of wine and then take it all off and shower back to boy mode. Now I won't bother getting dressed unless I'm going out somewhere or meeting people. It's the natural next step.

I really recommend researching your local area and finding local girls similar to you and organise to meet . Especially the fact that you live alone gives you a great opportunity to invite local girls over for dinner or drinks, that's when you can start really building great friendships so you won't feel so isolated/alone/bored or frustrated.

You just need to step out of the comfort zone which is always daunting and scary but you're life will be enriched because of it.

Ever think about maybe joining a TG or CD group? This is what I did initially when I came out and it helped me build my interpersonal skills.Associating with and talking with folks with like interests can be pretty encouraging. :)

Kate, how did you find a CD group?

I suppose this forum qualifies as "social interaction" of some sort. Talking to my wife is social interaction as well.

Because my dressing is a desire to play the part of a woman and I don't have a female voice, I think any social interaction in public would be awkward at best because I would be admitting to being a man in a dress, not a woman. Obviously, for some crossdressers, that's not an issue. For me, it is.

I would really like to go out in public as Krisi along with my wife. Shopping, dining, etc. That would be my social interaction.

I understand where you are coming from, I was like that too for a while, getting dressed in the closet lost its flair, then it was the same thing, socializing on the phone or comp, then started inviting other CD'S to hang out to chat or for a glass of wine, then finally getting out the front door myself, now I go out all the time, and its for exactly that reason, the social aspect xoxo

There should be clubs and orginizations just about everywhere, the trick is to find them, some are not so easily googled, but ask around to other local gals, you can always find a support group, or an organization that does things in your local area.

I have fairly severe social anxiety ... pretty much always have, which is why in my early life I gravitated towards the performing arts.

Performing on stage gave me a little end around my anxiety ... there were rules, people would be in the audience, I would play my tunes or whatever, and then it was over. Socializing with the audience or the other performers afterwards would always terrify me ... I was studying to become a high school music teacher for a while, but the relentless socialization involved with that drove me away right quick ... into the arms of my other love ... computers, which is where I ended up making a career.

I mention all this because it wasn't until recently, that I gained some insight into where all this comes from. I finally got the nerve to go to a trans support group meeting about 6 months ago. I went dressed (and yeah in true crossdresser fashion, I showed up way over dressed, lol) ....BUT ... no anxiety. For the first time I can remember, I was basically at a house party full of strangers, just fluttering around like a social butterfly completely without a second thought.

It felt so natural, and I think the reason is that I simply didn't have to worry about hiding anything from anyone. I was just my raw self, interacting with the world natively without any sort of abstraction in the way. Ironic given that I was cinched and padded and wearing half a pound of makeup, but ... yeah.

It was quite an earth shattering insight for me.

Due to the part of the country I'm in I can't really go out dressed but I have often thought it would be fun to be dressed and visiting with another cd either online ( which I have done) or really in person and just visiting. I guess maybe we all feel alone or lonely from time to time. My wife knows I dress but I don't think it is the same as visiting with another cd and visiting about likes, dislikes, and being free to really tell our feelings to.

If you are ever in the LA area, there is a m Motel in Hollywood that is CD friendly. I just found it while looking for places to meet up with other CDs. It would be great to get everyone here to book a room the same weekend and take over the place. The pool and spa area are surrounded, so only guests would see you. PM me for the name and address.

Hi everybody, When I stated dressing up and still in the closet a couple of years back I had the same feeling, same thing in MI telling me that I have to go out, and I have done 4 times now, the feeling of been out is so exciting that you want to do more often.
Now this weekend I'm going to a meet up group for the fist time, so I spect to start making friends to hang out .

We all want external affirmation of what we have accomplished in being feminine, but in a safe way. So what each person feels is safe may vary by their location and person thoughts. Online here is safe and requires no feminine voice or mannerisms. So this is the first step. Some will have chance to find social or support group which is safe. Going out with a GG is another safer way, if possible. Going out alone is scarier and less safe, but the most real.
Each is unique in what is at risk.
So we all experience what you are feeling Jessie.
Hugs, Ellen

Read this. Important !! I've spent many hours searching the web for a group that welcomes M2F TGs, and it finally paid off. Go to this link, and follow the instructions at the bottom of the page:
http://pflag-chapter-map.herokuapp.com/ I found a chapter in south Orange County, California. I've emailed a Co-President lady with questions. The most important answer received is that all communications are kept confidential. I'll attend their next meeting. Good luck on your search, ladies. Hugs. Jenny22

I am in the closet, and feel very alone, but post photos on here. Have been out about 20 times in my cd life alone, avoiding people for the most part. That has been lonely, too, not having anyone to talk with, or be with, but out there dressed. I have severe toxic loveless family problems here, and hope like hell i can finally move further away from them this summer. Older twin brothers are cruel to me. I have had personal ads, as a CD for years, but only have met three men. I made it clear no sex. Most admirers want you know what, period. I have gone to some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in drab. There are no CD/TG groups near here.

Sorry to hear that, Alice! I hope you are able to make the move this summer. Buy some lotto tickets, too! :)

PXD, I have bought some scratch tickets, and almost never win anything but sometimes the dollar or two back. never won lottery, only have bought 2. My one older brother wins lots of times on scratch tickets, must spent $50 e week on them, though. I have moved 48 times, been here six yrs, hate to have to move, yet again, but my bizarre, loveless family has ruined my whole life.

While telling people close to you that you CD can give you a feeling of acceptance, connecting with people when you are your female self is equally validating. Having friends that only know your female self is particularly fulfilling.

The desire for this acceptance and validation is why we often do some of the most surprising things. At least, it was in my case. I used to bait the hook for people to want to ask me about it; I'd leave a lipstick tube lying around so my house mates might ask, or I'd run my hands down the back of my legs as I sit down at work just as you would if you were wearing a skirt. The first time I walked out the door dressed, I got on a bus and I still can't believe I did that.

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Originally Posted by elliemoss

Yeah can totally relate.I really recommend researching your local area and finding local girls similar to you and organise to meet . Especially the fact that you live alone gives you a great opportunity to invite local girls over for dinner or drinks, that's when you can start really building great friendships so you won't feel so isolated/alone/bored or frustrated.

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

Ever think about maybe joining a TG or CD group? This is what I did initially when I came out and it helped me build my interpersonal skills.Associating with and talking with folks with like interests can be pretty encouraging. :)

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Ellie is right about seeking others to join up with but I would council against meeting a stranger for the first time in either your or their house. OK if you can organise a group coming together then there's safety in numbers. What you see as an internet profile isn't always the truth.

Kate's suggestion is by far the safer. I appreciate that for some finding a group in their local area may be difficult. If so cast your net wider and go out of town. It will be well worth the effort. You'll gain so much. I do understand the fears of being recognised. I live in a city of over a million people yet I still traveled 100 miles for my first group meeting and trust me, it was worth every inch of the journey.

So my friend, Yes I want to socialize and I have been, I have spent a long time alone, I am going forward as me, Im busy yes but I have new friends and I enjoy talking to you however is available, ( you know who you are ) Getting to that point where Im comfortable doing what others do regularly, I do wear androgynous clothes out almost every weekend, I enjoy pretty either way. Jessie we are all unique and we are all special in our own ways. I say have fun in your own time with your own comfort levels. New things and change take a bit of time but it will happen my friend, : ).

Jessie:

I am with you, girlfriend! I would love to have the time to dress and just hang out with another gal like myself. Sadly, I cannot regularly dress, let alone go out, as my wife is not aware of this, would not approve of it and would not at all be happy if I said I was going out as Kris with other CDs (to be fair, she would not be good with me being out drinking with the guys, either: she prefers my spending my free time with her, and I feel the same way). So, yeah: I do wish I could do that more, and value the times I have been able to do it. I wish chatting online in forums or even on the phone was a good substitute.

Kris

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Yep. I reached the point where being dressed and NOT going out is the same as hiding for me. Why would I want to hide? Now, if I am dressed, I am going out

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Thank you, Jennifer, for expressing exactly how I feel now....NO MORE HIDING and NO MORE SECRETS....now my next step is to stop hiding even when I go out!! I am still nervous about chatting with folks as I would do when in drab....I know I will just be a man in a dress and make-up to most people and I am getting ready to get over myself and just enjoy life as I am....

Peace
Stevie