Loss of Interest?

Hi all I am not super active on this forum but figured I would put my two cents in today and see if anyone else has had similar experience. I have been dressing since I was a little kid - over 20 years now but lately I just dont seem to have the energy to get all dolled up anymore. I used to count down the hours on a Friday to when I was off work, could change clothes, go get my makeup done and possibly hit up a bar all dolled up. I now notice its been almost 8 months since I full dressed up, breastforms seem to be collecting dust in the closet and I just never seem to get dressed up other than panties and pj or yoga pants and chill around the home. I have heard 1000 times once a cd your always a cd, yet it doesnt even seem to be on my radar lately. Has anyone experienced a similar funk? I enjoy my male life and have absolutely no ambition to transition and I am wondering now that I enter my 30s if it just has gotten stale or what? I had no shame about my dressing, I stayed closeted for personal and professional reasons, and really loved getting dolled up and going out, wondering if this happened to anyone else and if they came out of it and got back to girl time or what? Sorry for the novel here I just am confused and dont really have any other outlet to ask these questions. Thank you for your thoughts and understanding.

Perhaps you are going through a masculine phase and you just feel that way. There will be time in the future that it will come back and as you age it seems to get more important. Enjoy your male self and know that anytime you feel feminine you know what to do.

just enjoy it for what it is
luv J

Similar experience...? Yep. :)

Right in the midst of an eight-month hiatus myself, coincidentally. Although I have a couple of decades on you <ahem> and my outings would seem to have been much less frequent, I just haven't felt the urge since my last Big Night Out in November 2015... Weird, huh? Or maybe not... having been through these dips in desire before, I can't help but think that for some of us our motivation is heavily influenced by circumstances and while we may all fall under the umbrella (yes - that multi-hued, misdirected gender one) for some of us it needs a contextual-life trigger to push us over the edge into full-on, girly-wirly-world - but when circumstances change again, guy-mode switches back in and overwhelms our femme meanderings... :whew!:

Personally, and for those of us that do benefit (or suffer?) from periods of long remission of this condition, it's a jolly good reason to remain secretive and closeted... Imagine if the feeling went and never came back... :confused:

And some of you wonder why some members disappear and never come back... Imagine... :thinking:

Just don't purge... I won't... :lol:

So for the few members here and in that mode right now - Solidarity brothers! Huzzah for boys! (Oh... I think that may have come out wrong...)

Katey x

Yep, all through my 30's and 40's nothing but male thoughts and actions. Loss of interest or denial? who knows? but now into my 60' and loving my femme self. I don't foresee any slacking off as time is limited and I want to enjoy myself more(oops that came out wrong).Just be yourself and when the time is right you'll know, it'll just feel right.

This has happened to quite a few long term (and once quite prolific) members, including my SO.

It was indeed exciting when it was all new and my SO was, it seemed, making weekly changes to enhance the overall appearance and building her considerable wardrobe. And then came the time to start experiencing going out a lot and meeting people, which added to the excitement. But then it eventually all became commonplace ... same events, same restaurants, same cafés, same stores, same people. My SO regained interest in things that had been eclipsed for awhile, and although my SO will always be a crossdresser, the intensity of it all changed. I think the exciting years of new discovery and experiences when things are ramping up do eventually reach a plateau for many CDers, and then things just even out.

There are certain times of year when my SO is more in the mood than ordinarily, but overall the frequency is much less than the period immediately following my SO's decision to explore this as fully as she could.

Hi Katey, nice to see you back! :)

Yes, this has happened to me. I had a 20+ year sabbatical from my early 20s. More recently, I had a 5 month lay-off last year. Just like you, I completely lost interest. Though both times, the desire came back stronger.

For what it's worth, my advice is make the most of these times, you can get so much done when there's no pink fog. And don't bin the stash!

Yes, absolutely, things quieten down when you hit a certain age. You don't see very many women in their 50s or 60s dressed ultra-feminine, do you? Whilst I'd never want to see my fem gear leave my wardrobe, dressing can be more hassle than it's worth these days. I find that I'm more interested in thinking/ imagining/ trying to understand what it is to live the life of a woman, and to make closer and more honest friendships with the women in my life.

Having said that, I'd love to be wearing a lacy full petticoat right now, but I'll have to get these bloke-boots and jeans off first ...

I'm coming off a two year layover. The drive to dress just wasn't there. I didn't even want to open my closet to look at all of my fem finery. So I just packed it all up, and put it away. I knew better than to dispose of it. Out of sight, out of mind. This time around, I plan to dress a bit less, but enjoy my time doing it a little more.

I once stopped crossdressing for SEVEN YEARS. It was around 2002 - just before my marital split. I purged everything, and put it out at the curb in a big, green garbage bag. Then we went our separate ways, and I never even thought about buying more female clothing for the next six or seven years. And now? Whew. I got hit by the Flying Pink Express Train! It came back like nothing I have ever experienced before. So, it comes and goes. Sometimes the "going" is for a VERY long time. But, you can be absolutely sure that it WILL come back. Just be prepared when it does.

I have been dressing to some degree or another since I was old enough to remember, yes I have periods when I just dont or have in the past, I have quit twice for about a year, once was when I me the ex, my kids mother, the 2nd was when I was in court, I tend to be to honest at times and I knew if I was asked I would likely say the wrong thing. So again it was about a year, dressing is also a stress release for me, so that was not a pleasant time away. I have never willingly purged anything nice. I put things away when I dont feel like dressing, I think that was also part of the guilt shame cycle. I gave those emotions up when I accepted me. Since I joined I dress to some degree almost daily, sometimes Im to tired to dress in pj's for bed, but most of the time I have satin boxers, shirt sets I wear. Az I think its just normal to feel certain ways for a period of time, just like we are never just "happy" all the time either.

Isn't this normal for a crossdresser? I'm in my 60s now and since my preteen beginnings my desire to dress has cycled. During my 20s and 30s I naively though I was cured during those down times. I just couldn't understand why anyone would want to crossdress, and of course I purged. Then the desire would return. I don't purge anymore during the down times and I don't push dressing. I dress when I feel like it and I don't when I don't.

Who told you that once a CD always a CD?

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Originally Posted by Taylor186

Isn't this normal for a crossdresser? I'm in my 60s now and since my preteen beginnings my desire to dress has cycled. During my 20s and 30s I naively though I was cured during those down times. I just couldn't understand why anyone would want to crossdress, and of course I purged. Then the desire would return. I don't purge anymore during the down times and I don't push dressing. I dress when I feel like it and I don't when I don't.

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Your post pretty much summed up my reaction to the original question, and a long time ago I realized also that it was like going through up and down cycles, and have gone through several in 50+ years of crossdressing , so have known it did and was going to happen, but Janey would be back.
The only difference was that I didn't feel like I might have been "cured", although very early on I did purge but learned that I was going to go back to dressing. After that I just kept my pretty things put away until my Fem did came back.

Loss of interest or just getting nausea from sitting on the fence? For me I think it's the latter.

If I can comfortably fall to either side, which one has the softest landing I suppose? 🤔

Count me in on this downside too. Things have drastically changed in my life (becoming a dad to an 8 year old physically handicapped niece) and my desires have been pushed way back by the demands of family first. I have no regrets, and when the time comes the pendulum will most certainly swing the other way once again. BTW... been on a 4 month hiatus (so far)

VERY interesting indeed! For me, the interest/urge has always been there, although there are times when I do not want/enjoy it that much, I still wish I could go all the way...I'm now resigned that it will probably never just go away...still haven't learned to properly handle it though...

For me there are times where the urge is really strong and times where it's not. No matter where I'm at the underlying desire is always there. I don't think it will go away and that's fine with me.

I think my byline says it all!

I only dress all the way or not at all. There r some evenings when I plan to dress. But, end up online or watching a game because I'm just NOT FEELING IT!:brolleyes:

Nothing inspires me like a new look, outfit, or kinky situation!:D

Thats pretty normal to go thru a time where you don't have the urge to dress.

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Originally Posted by AZashleemarie

... figured I would put my two cents in today and see if anyone else has had similar experience. I have been dressing since I was a little kid - over 20 years now but lately I just don't seem to have the energy to get all dolled up anymore. ... I now notice its been almost 8 months since I full dressed up ....

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Same here. It just seems so bo.r.r.r.ring now -the switching genders by CD-ing. Even just changing into the opposite gender clothing and driving around at night, like that without getting out of the car, and at night, used to be fun. But now, it is just boring, no matter how much time I work on getting my appearance just right. . But then I am more cautious too in public about showing it. I remember the time when in a shop, the owner asked if my brother had not been in the store before. I chuckled inwardly at that. I remember too, the quick changes, with my leaning on the other side of the door, so I could get through the change of clothes without being unexpectedly interrupted. And the time I went into a tiny public washroom with my backpack, in one gender and emerged five minutes after in the other, (the clothes taken off, now in the backpack),and nobody noticed. Maybe today, when more video security cameras are around in public buildings, I might have been noticed. It all seemed new, and thrilling. But these days of course, I am CD-ing in the other direction now, but I don't think the direction is what makes it so different. Maybe I should work on my voice, so I can shift back and forth, without getting unexpectedly into the wrong voice when I am dressed wrong for it, accidentally like. Boy, that is embarrassing when that happens in public. I heard a trans on YouTube doing the switching so smoothly without getting confused. I need to practice vocal frying though, and really get it. I guess I just have to settle down, and concentrate on perfecting my right gender -- after all, I suffered so much to get in it, pain and long healing after the SRS, plus financial sacrifices, since it is really costly, and all that. :)

I happen to be there right now, somehow not really 'feeling it' or feeling it's worth the trouble in light of other more visible commitments. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss it; I have extremely vivid dreams about crossdressing, and just as many where I am (my idea of?) a GG, especially now with the hiatus I'm in. Being in a similar situation to yours - my ideal would be to accept it as it were and let life take its own course. I think the sense of novelty for some individuals doesn't last.

I'm glad you brought this up, I've been there a couple of times, once for 2 - 3 years, and it always comes back. You have to remember that dressing is not the only thing in the world and that your "other" life make demands as well, sometimes these are quite stressful like fathering a child or divorce/marriage, or job loss etc. These are more important and take up time as well.
I've been here since 2006 (wow thats 20 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now I feel old) and alot of these topics come around over and over again so your not alone and please don't purge as somebody else has said, that was good advice.
Also, don't feel you have to be on here all the time, peoples lives have a tendency of getting in way, I had a brain haemorrhage! Don't feel guilty, just enjoy it while you've got the feeling and rest while you don't and concentrate on the other "stuff" in your life. It will come back!!!!!

Sue xx

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Originally Posted by Allisa

Yep, all through my 30's and 40's nothing but male thoughts and actions. Loss of interest or denial? who knows? but now into my 60' and loving my femme self. I don't foresee any slacking off as time is limited and I want to enjoy myself more(oops that came out wrong).Just be yourself and when the time is right you'll know, it'll just feel right.

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Can't speak for others but Allisa has said it for me ... well, for almost 30 years ... and now I love being me! I think she is right on .. you'll know when (or if...) the time is right.

I stopped for over ten years. I was so busy with life and other interests. I didn't purge, I put everything in another cellar.

Since I now have alot more alone time the desire to dress has come back, for how long I don't know.

I'll just have to dress and see!

We get dressed for different reasons. Sometimes we just have "dry spells", don't feel the need or just want to enjoy being our guy selves. It's just our own particular human nature. Even women don't feel "feminine" all the time. Sometimes they just feel like being themselves. :battingeyelashes::)

Over the course of the past few decades my desires have had an ebb and flow. Sometimes a strong urge to dress, and sometimes just, "meh." As long as I know I can dress when I want, then I feel in control of this calling we have. Likewise, I can usually avoid the pink fog and not do stupid stuff or become trance-like in my need. If I become separated from or locked out of my ability to dress, then it seems to build to a crescendo and eventually the calling overtakes logic and reason. To your question, yes, I have had periods of a couple of years where I do not dress and don't care to.

From my experiences, I would substitute the word "loss" to "lapse". I totally differ with PaintmePink. It IS here for the duration...period...end of story. I also equate it to the "roller coaster of life". In life, one has "highs and lows", "ups and downs", but whether short term or long term, it's there...so be prepared. I've experienced lapses, but never purged. Then out of nowhere, driving a car, at work, a round of golf..who knows...you get that "feeling". For me, denial and resistance just made it more intense. Enjoy both the cycle of dressing and life. I do and Im much happier. I have a supportive wife who totally agrees. 👠 💄 👗

I went through various stages over the decades. In my teen years I felt repulsed with dressing in women's clothing. That was in the 1960's. Although I felt repulsion I still wore my mother's lingerie when I had the opportunity. Then I was drafted into the army. Even though I did not have any privacy for two years to engage in cross dressing, I had absolutely zero thoughts about it. I suppose it was due to an elevation in male hormones. I served in a military combat infantry unit and those survival hormones were raging. It wasn't until after I was married that thoughts of cross dressing were rekindled. There are times when I do not have the opportunity or privacy to wear women's clothing, but, it does not drive me nuts. I know when the summer months are over, and, my wife returns to work, that Stephanie will be able to come out and play again.

If one can ever figure out what brought on this urge to wear women's clothing, then maybe one can figure out how to control these urges better. I see a lot of angst in some postings on this site, where the cross dresser is grabbing for some "crumbs of time," while others seem to not be bothered by only dressing infrequently.

If not dressing does not drive you to distraction I would not worry about it.

Nice to see Claire looking a bit heavier which provides her with a more feminine figure, Reine D right on as usual and surprised that Tracii G voiced "pretty normal". In fact the responses of similar experiences were far more than I expected. The commonality appears to be major life events such as divorce or lost job, new SOs that may not as yet be accepting, health issues that may turn one off and then there is the fetish factor. As one ages and the libido influence wanes for some - where fetish was a stronger influence than in others -it seems logical that motivation diminishes as well. An example: two weeks ago I fainted and gashed my brow. Still have black and blue around the eye. No incentive to try to cover with makeup so, sure I wear my female clothes at home, but going out is on hold until better. Brings up another concern - perhaps at 91 I should pack it in. On the other hand, if I do that, then I'm accepting that life is over. Not ready to do that but ???
Julie