Hi everyone, I am just wondering if I am passable. I am 25 years old and I have been crossdressing since 2010. Do you think I am passable ?
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Hi everyone, I am just wondering if I am passable. I am 25 years old and I have been crossdressing since 2010. Do you think I am passable ?
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Sophia, YES!!! You are hot...
You look very passabble from the pictures, very pretty!
:)
Sophia,
You are having fun with your dressing and that shows, as for the perennial question of passing, you have to go on and ask in what circumstances ?
You can dress how you like in your own home, maybe your partner or even the neighbours see you but not as you do . If you went into town dressed as you are you would certainly get a lot of attention and yes you may be passable but what as ? You may be very extrovert and not care but I would think if that were the case you wouldn't be asking this question.
I will admit I'm possibly like most and have asked the same question, but when it's behind closed doors it's not really relevant , I don't do wig or makeup around the house but going out has to be a different matter. When I finally did step out the door to meet other members of the TG community as a social group the thoughts and questions of passing or not faded away. My makeup may not be perfect or my wig the perfect choice but that doesn't matter as much as satisfying an inner feeling. I love shopping and sorting my outfits but it's balanced toward how a GG might look if she went out in similar circumstances . They sometimes get things wrong so we're bound to and that's part of the enjoyment and challenge.
The one thing I value more than anything is getting genuine compliments from GGs and you don't get those until you've been out into the World and tried your best.
You can dress to try and pass as anything, it depends what you want from your CDing, you're well over half my age so you can let rip and enjoy what CDing can bring !
Yes you can pass - if you dress to be passable. To me you are dressing to be the sexiest crossdesser at the ball rather than someone that no one will suspect is really a man underneath. I'll bet you can do the latter.
I hope I haven't frightened you off with your first post, but you have what 99% of CDs wish they had: a slight frame, and their youth back.
You look great. Passable, maybe. I do not mean to discourage you! If you dress like the genetic females in your area, you will "blend in" and no one will give you a second glance. If you dress to stand out, you will get more than a second glance. This is when people notice that your hands are too big and all the other subtle clues that mean you are a man. It is up to you as to how you present but passing, real passing is rare. Best wishes going forward Hugs LanaMae
very nice ,and as others have said dress to pass for your situation the pic is great if you were headed out to a party or club ,but say at the mall you would really stand out
Hi Sophia:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are Home.
From what we can see you look like a very lovely young lady...:daydreaming:
WOW! Can you show me the picture of the dude who wants to know if he's passable.Lol just kidding you look amazing.
Woah! You look amazing. I love what you did with your hair, and your figure looks great in that outfit. Definitely passable.
Looks good to me Hon. Go for it. :thumbsup::)
If, to pass, you intend to wear women's clothing and blend into your surrounding then, in most instances, you will not pass. You will have a better chance of passing at a club or special event. Either way, you look great!
Sophia, I am going to share with you what I share with everyone who asks this: passing as a genetic woman is a virtual impossibility for any cross dresser. "Passing" would require winning the genetic lottery AND THEN you still have voice and experience problems. So, what can you do?
1) Dress for the time, location and event.
2) Forget about passing, it doesn't matter.
3) Be confident. You have every right to be anywhere as anyone else.
Sophia,
Put a lot of weight on Jennifer's words, She is on the money.
Let me share one evening experience, I attended the monthly crossdressing social club meeting where many attendees were saying that I have an easier time out in public due to me being "passable". They were pointing out how my outfit could often be seen on any woman, many of my mannerisms (such as how I was sitting on the couch) were quite feminine, and how I don't show any signs of nervousness. Well an hour later I was enjoying a coffee at my favourite coffee shop when a woman, who could obviously be seen as not being in the clear state of mind (thanks to most probably from sniffing glue or paint), stumbled into the store and set her eyes on me. She started preaching to me that I am sinning and should not be dressing like a woman as it is against god, and blah blah...... So if I am not fooling someone who was walking into tables and chairs, how could I possibly fool someone with a clear mind.
Hell yes
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Hell yes
More passable than most. The size of your hands might possibly give you away but who's looking at them?
Yes, definitely, but unless you're planning to go to a Hawaiian luau, I'd lose the massive flower in your hair...it's a bit over-the-top for everyday wear.
sophiatran465, are you Asian? Going by your username and photo, I'd guess that you are? I'm Asian also, and I do not think you pass. Us Asians are really good at clocking each other, since we're more familiar with Asian faces. You have a thin frame like most Asians, but you still have a masculine Asian face. (which is why I'm guessing that you're not showing much of your face in this photo).
I used to identify as a CD before I realized I'm TS, so I used to hang around a lot of CD friends. They all told me I passed, but I always got clocked when I went to areas with predominantly Asian people. Even when I didn't get clocked right away, I still often got clocked when people saw me up close. I wasn't until after months of HRT, months of private voice lessons with a professional voice instructor, months of living full-time, and yes, even FFS surgery, that I can really and truly pass. Even then, my height sometimes invites closer inspection, and maybe people will suspect something. (I'm 5' 7", which is tall for Asian girls).
So I totally agree with Jenniferathome. Her advice is very good.
Another Asian here. In terms of physical appearance, don't even worry about passing / being mistaken for a GG; it's as good as impossible. I don't think you pass either (but then again neither do I): your face and hands stand out to me. But that shouldn't necessarily stop you fron getting out there.
I'm not sure what occasion you're dressing for, although I suspect your attire will draw more attention than usual - for better or for worse.
You look pretty, dress anyway that you feel is best for you.
If we could see a straight on shot of you it would help.
A lot of your face is hidden so its hard to give a solid answer.
Remember too that "passing" in public is a lot different than posting a picture and saying scrutinize me! About 60% of people walking down the street will only ever see you in their peripheral vision. Of the ones who do see you straight on, probably half of those will be too preoccupied with their own lives to inspect you too closely. Now if you actually plan on interacting with people, that's a whole different story that involves voice, mannerisms etc.
If I had to give advice my two suggestions would be work on your makeup technique, and accessorie/jewelry. A couple bracelets, rings, a necklace can go a LONG way.
It's hard to say. Your body is partially obscured with your arm and the sweater, and your face, with the wig and huge flower. Also, it's very hard to tell from pictures, which are only a small fraction of real-life size.
You should post a frontal shot of your face, a profile, and a three-quarter view. Also a frontal, profile, and back view of your body, unobstructed by anything and without the loose sweater.
In terms of style, it depends on where you want to go, if you want to wear that dress and flower. I think your outfit would be more appropriate at a night club than at the mall.
There is presentable and passable. Many of us are quite presentable when we go out ie stylish outfits, good makeup skills, decent poise and mannerisms. But, keep in mind that none of us are passable. we just have to go out and do what we do.
jodi
Like Curley on the three stooges would say, "Sointenly toots, nyuk nyuk nyuk!"
very nice....I suspect you are as close as can be...don't worry too much and just enjoy it.
Well, my 2 cents on the topic of passing is that I have to agree with post #13 and #14. Passing in a photo is much easier, and you do look quite passable in your pic, but truly passing (i.e. people, who don't know you, believing you really are the gender you are presenting as) out in a mainstream public venue (especially close up) is virtually impossible for most of us. There are so many gender clues that you also have to get right, like the sound of your voice, the way you talk, the way you walk, feminine mannerisms etc. I think a lot of people can get away it from a distance, but very few can pass in a face to face situation.
Its very hard to tell from just those 2 pics. You are far away from the camera, the quality and lighting isn't great, your face is angled, and your hair is covering up a lot of what could be seen... to me something about your face seems off, I am not sure if its the foundation not being the right skin tone match, but overall it just seems "plastic" to me and off from the rest of your body. Also that outfit would be fine at a club or party but I wouldn't wear it out grocery/clothes shopping or for basic errands.
I have to agree with what some said in this thread. The answer is probably no. I am not saying that to be mean but its very hard for a man to pass as a woman without help(by help I mean horomones, surgery, padding, etc.). We have too much to compensate for. Yes you can use the tools at your disposal like makeup and padding and such to increase your passability but you will never be able to achieve that 100% since there are just some things we can't do anything about. If your overall goal is to pass you are going to have a bad time as that is what you will constantly measure yourself against and you will always have it in the back of your mind. You will never meet the passing standards you put on yourself.
This was the mistake I made when I started, I wanted to pass. And I'd post pics like you would online and ask if I passed and I got a bunch of "yes" answers, some may have been serious but I am guessing most just said yes to be nice. Anyway I took their word at face value and thought I passed, a couple of months went by and I'd go out and public with no problems so I thought I was passing. Then one day I got clocked and called out big time by a group of teenagers and I was crushed. It really hurt my confidence, because I thought that all this time I had been passing in public when in reality it was just people not caring and/or being nice. Unfortunately I got the wrong idea after this happened and thought it was because I wasn't applying my makeup well enough or using higher quality makeup and more flattering clothes with colors that suited my skin tone. So I just ended up buying more expensive makeup and brushes and practiced more makeup application thinking I could pass if I just was really good at it. Yes I got better but I feel like the better I got and the better, more flattering clothes I wore, the more I would notice my flaws. Like when I was 50% passable, I didn't care so much about the 50% part that didn't pass. When I was 90% passable, that 10% really wore me down mentally.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you can pass if you just do this or that. Because in the end, no matter what you do, you probably won't pass. Just do the best you can, control what you can control and not worry what is out of your control.
The day I stopped worrying about passing and just began to focus on being the prettiest woman I could be, is the day where it all became a lot more enjoyable. The stress went away and I was able to not worry anymore.
My smaller head says "yes":heehee:
I think these days we don't have to pass as women, just as 'like a woman'- that is, we feel comfortable to others as a feminine person, androgynous - fine, but not a hard core of man struggling not to be that. I think the feeling of pretending hits people the wrong way- not looking like a woman.
If no one really takes a look at your face you are passable. From the left i clearly see a guy face (though I AM LOOKING FOR A GUY FACE), but from the right picture while your face is turned sideways I do see a pretty woman. The rest of your body and at least the pose i see as a woman.
Sorry that you had to experience that. But thanks for sharing your story, as a lot of people can learn from it.Quote:
Originally Posted by dolovewell
To all of you, I just want to say that most people, even if they don't think you pass, will still refer to you as "ma'am" or "miss" or "lady" as a courtesy. They do it just to be nice, and to avoid confrontation. Just because people don't publicly out you, doesn't mean that you haven't been clocked. Children and teenagers are more comfortable with expressing their opinions in public, so they are the ones who are most likely to publicly say something when they clock you. But trust me, you've been clocked by many other strangers around you. You don't pass. It's almost impossible without medical intervention. So, as some of the veterans on these forums have shared, don't worry so much about passing. Instead, focus on being presentable, being happy, and being yourself. It is a much healthier approach.
Hi, yes I am asian too. I am vietnamese.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirya
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Thanks, I love this hairstyle too. I took these pics real quick before i headed out to the club with my boyfriend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle
Lessee; a 3/4 body pic, both almost identical, in 2D. Sure, carefully posed, unseen from the sides or back, if you posted that pick on hot or not you'd probably pass. That's where you're going to have to test yourself. https://hotornot.com/
Now load up your pics and post 'em, and see how well you pass in the real 2D world! Best of luck!
Just remember; as you get real old, it will get easier. Homely old men and homely old women (especially in one of those loose house dresses) can appear much the same. So eventually, unless you're six feet tall, you'll pass. Just a matter of time.
From these photos you look absolutely passable Sophie and very attractive as well.
In the photos you look like a female but what about real life? Walking down the street? Sitting in a restaurant eating or drinking?
Nobody can honestly say if you would pass from just two photos. Maybe a video but not two still photos. And of course the outfit would only be appropriate for a party or club.
BTW: What is that between your legs in the photo on the left?
I think that is the danger of online crossdressing communities.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirya
This board skews older. So most of the ladies here are straight shooters and don't really care about passing, know its nearly impossible, and just say to not worry about it. Which is how it should be.
I have participated in crossdressing communities online where the audience skews much, much younger. Mostly young adults between the ages of 18-29. The userbase in those communities seem to be a lot more obsessed with passing. So when someone posts a pic of themselves and asks if they pass, and you tell them no, the rest of the userbase will get mad at you for being mean and hurtful. So they all tell the user she passes, when in reality, she doesn't, but they are just doing it to hugbox. I think that is toxic. Better to be honest with them upfront so they don't get crushed harder when they finally get clocked in public. It's not mean and hurtful to tell someone they don't pass, I think thats the right thing to do.
Unfortunately, I think younger crossdressing ladies care more about validation and hearing what they want to hear, than hearing the truth. They post a pic of themselves asking if they pass, not to get honest feedback, but hoping they get a conga line of yes answers to get the validation they are desperately seeking. We live in an age of social media where women constantly post pictures of themselves on Facebook/Instagram to get likes and validation, and younger crossdressers are trying to get on that train themselves. It's dangerous.
Simple answer: Yes. I will agree you'd be a standout, knockout at any venue. More pictures, please!
"Runaway train, never going back; wrong way on a one-way track." - Soul Asylum, Runaway TrainQuote:
Originally Posted by dolovewell
I've been an observer/lurker at best in the younger community (folks around my age), and I very much prefer being here. Especially more visually and fetishistically oriented sites - they don't resonate as much with me as this site. I won't deny that I've appreciated and still appreciate validation in a space where honest feedback remains valued. This said, anything anchored on likes and validation is inherently unstable, like a house built upon sand. Better a harsh truth than a comfortable lie I guess; I don't consider "You don't pass" remotely harsh in the first place. Which is interesting since "You're passable" seems quite a high compliment in these circles, perhaps because of its asymptotic status (as I mentioned elsewhere, like a Holy Grail). It's an indubitably beautiful illusion - but an illusion nonetheless. This 'passing' notion feels increasingly overrated, but I wouldn't dare say the same of blending: getting noticed and standing out like a sore thumb - spotlight effect notwithstanding - is a lot more real than being consistently and genuinely mistaken for a cis person of the opposite biological sex.
Just to add to some of the points that have come up:
1) For all the talk in the media (social and mainstream) about gender, this site for the most part is still very much an older CDs site. I haven't seen any signs of the SJW obsession with gender terms or too much of the social advocacy threads here. We're from a generation and background that cares little for university safe spaces and Facebook gender terms, but more for keeping our marriages in tact and not having our relatives disown us.
2) RE: Passing. As someone suggested below, I set up a HotorNot account and used a picture from my profile here. I am passing no problems on that and my rating is 4/5. My strength is and always was my face but we all have good angles and bad angles. Passing in real life is about passing from every angle, not just the one the camera was pointing. When the planets align, I am presentable but not passable.
3) I have recently felt a lot of angst about not being able to fulfill the image I have in my mind for my female self/look.
Years ago on a night out in male mode with friends that all knew I was CD, I told one of the women there that I know what 99% of women feel like when they walk past a clothing store window. I'll never be able to wear that. The look she gave me was priceless, like she met a guy who actually understood something about women that men generally don't understand. And this is an angst felt by women I would gladly switch places with. Given that we have this added genetic hurdle to climb, I wouldn't want to see support groups like this one introduce any mechanism that would unfairly compare its members to each other based on looks. When I first saw this post I thought it was compliment bait.
Good points Kelly.
I agree with your point #1. I have discussed that with other users here - the younger communities seem to be a lot more "emotional" and I feel like you have to walk on eggshells and be ultra careful with what you say as not to "trigger" anyone. There is a lot of whining and "woe is me" and perpetual oppression. Now I understand - we don't have it easy and we can be targets for oppression. But the negativity can be a grind. When I come to CD communities I want to see positive posts, not a bunch of depression fueled lamentations about feelings. I don't struggle with my gender identity, so its nice to come here where that isn't really discussed.
I also agree with you on safe spaces and gender terms and social advocacy. People think that since you are a crossdresser you must automatically be some kind of ultra liberal type that buys into all of that. I am sure many of us are diverse in our political and religious views and beliefs and not all of us think the same way. I got banned from one online CD community that skews younger because they saw from my posts on other boards that I was a conservative leaning Christian.
I learned hard lessons with the likes of HotOrNot. I too uploaded my pics on there and my rating was a 6.23 or something and had lots of guys trying to hook up. Same with Tinder. Uploaded some of my pics and lots of guys asking me out. Every now and then I got the "are you a man" questions but for the most part they had no idea. But its a lot easier to pass in photos. I was able to take my best, carefully selected pics, and edit them and put filters on them and all of that. But I knew it wasn't reality. Just like the time I got on Chat Roulette and Omegle and was video chatting with people. I would fool people every now and then because I put myself in favorable lighting. There was a pair of guys I chatted with for about 20 minutes until they finally figured out I was a dude. Another guy I chatted with never figured it out. But women - I feel like women, as soon as they popped up, would figure out I was a man right away, laugh, and click "Next". Women are much better at figuring it out, they are nearly impossible to fool.
The lessson - Give people enough time, they will all figure it out eventually.
I agree on your point about politics. Just because we are a minority and an often frowned upon minority, society assumes we have the same politics as other minorities. We dress like women so we must have the same views on international politics, minimum wage and high income taxation as the disabled. If you don't fit that narrative of all oppressed minorities battling it out side by side, then you are a problem to those claiming to help you. I haven't been following the Caitlin Jenner story but I believe she said she copped more flak for coming out as a republican than as transgendered.
I think this is the start of a much larger discussion which I don't think this forum was specifically designed for :)
I have a Vietnamese T friend. We go out together a lot. Her dressed, me in drab. To caucasion folks she passes most of the time. When we go to heavily Vietnam/Asian areas, she doesn't!
That's an interesting phenomenon and my SO and I have come up with a conjecture; we all are most familiar with the facial subtleties of our own race, the race among which we grew up. If a child is a product of a biracial marriage, this child will be intimately familiar with the facial subtleties of both races.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
This is why it's more difficult for members of one race to immediately tell the gendered differences among people of a different race (if they are presenting as the opposite sex), no matter which race it is. I should think that in Viet Nam, they'd have a harder time reading a Caucasian CDer than people do here.
Hence the old Archie Bunker-ism: "They all look the same to me."
Also, when I used to go out dressed, it was the women that would pick me because I was trying to pass as one of them. I could also pick a CD from 100 hundred yards because I knew what to look for too. It's like trying to speak in an accent in front of native speakers of that accent.
I left a favorable response to the query as to whether Sophia was passable. I did not think her thread would lead to such a detailed response. I think everyone will acknowledge there is more to "passing" than a thumbs up or thumbs down based on a picture or two. This is not a "Jerry Springer" Show" guessing whether the person is male or female. I wonder what the analysis would be if a new GG joined the forum and posted her picture. Hands too big? Face to angular? I assume all who post pictures are men who like to wear women's clothing or transwomen. I think Reine's comment may be valid. I see many women who are not drop dead gorgeous every day. Their BMI's may be in the obesity range, yet they appear to be women to me. It's the total package that needs to be analyzed; how someone walks, sits, moves loose hairs from face, holds a tea cup, crosses the legs.
Perhaps someone will wish to create a passability quotient based on closeness to the observer; five feet? ten feet? 100 feet? quarter mile?
Personally, I know I do not pass. I know my eye sees what the brain wants to see. It's the same when someone takes a picture of me as a male grandpa. Yikes. or ugh! I look like that. The reality show sets in. I do not make comments if I find the picture readily identifies the poster as a male. Maybe I should. I just hope the poster takes the value of the advice or the "Dick Clark" rating system for what was paid for it, which is zero.
Sophia, I hope your bubble was not burst. Maybe you need to circulate among us northern Europe types. I still think your passable in your pictures. I'll check my wife's hands when she gets out of bed. :)