No dodging the postman this time !

As many of you know I'm pretty much out to many people now but since I moved into my new home in February I haven't bumped into my postman dressed , he's a nice guy and always has a few minutes talking to my dog when in drab . This morning I was just off down my path dressed to the car when he was walking up the pavement , I simply said, " Good morning David , we finally get to meet !" He said , " No problem as long as you're happy !" so I replied , " Very happy thanks !" and that was it . I'm surprised we haven't bumped into each in these circumstances before , I knew it wouldn't be a big deal when we did but it still feels good to be so open with people , no ducking and diving anymore .

I keep these little stories updated just to give that little push to others who may have doubts about being out and what people think .

WOW, that is great! Thank you for sharing.

Sounds like that went well, if I moved to a new place and didn't have an established history and knew so many people I could see myself doing that, maybe LOL.

awesome Teresa! it is something i thought about when i move into my own place eventually. how it would go if leave the home in dress after people know me in normal drab.

U know your postman!?:eek:

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Originally Posted by Teresa

he's a nice guy and always has a few minutes talking to my dog when in drab .

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Wonder if it was the postman or the dog in drab, lol.

Nice story, Teresa.

Tracy ,
We've missed that point on the forum , are dogs CDers ? well they wear the same coat !

The other plus pont is if he delivers damaged parcels and can see the contents at least he'll know the items have are being delivered to right address . I hope he doesn't start taking a peep and takes a fancy to my underwear !

You know--I think the public in general are a little more aware these days. Crossdressers exist. Whoops--I just had to add that word to my personal spelling dictionary.
Maybe it is the effect of the internet. Maybe it just happens--because a few transgenders have come out publicly. A few movies and TV shows. A few of us have appeared in a few minor roles in ordinary TV shows.

Jennifer,
Unless my full title is written on a letter the postman will never know what I am for certain ! Heck I've never had letters after my name maybe I can start now .

If I'm asked what university I went to goodnes I could give a really good BS answer and they'd believe me .

It’s great to know your postman is accepting but wouldn’t it be great if he was a CD himself? My mind is wandering and fantasizing ....

Richelle,
We may never know but we know we are far from alone .

The postmen may have already known about me because I tend to forget about my nail polish , on one occasion I was wearing electric blue and nipped up the their delivery van to save their legs , a young post girl gave me an OH , Nice colour !

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Originally Posted by Teresa

I hope he doesn't start taking a peep and takes a fancy to my underwear !

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Why do these thoughts even enter your mind?

Milkman (maybe gone now), postman, and these days delivery men, all see and know your secrets. In my experience they are always polite and sometimes complimentary.

I was postie for 16 years,my postman is an ex colleague and my 2 cousins still work with the Royal Mail,opening the door to the Postman would be an interesting introduction :)

Sophie

So encouraging Teresa! Thanks for sharing.

Daisy,
It's called humour , having some fun but there's an outside chance it could happen ! Why do you have to question everything in such a negative way ?

As I said a member reading this might realise the World doesn't end , the postman isn't going to stack my post at my front door and set light to it !

Teresa, I don't know about the UK, but in the US dogs and postal workers are mortal enemies, how does he talk o your dog. Anyhow, glad you made another step forward.

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Originally Posted by Teresa

I hope he doesn't start taking a peep and takes a fancy to my underwear !

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Ha ha. Humor. I get it. You humans are so funny! 😁

maybe you should gift him a pair! 😁

Teresa,

Your story highlights one of many little things that at some point must be addressed by anyone going full time. Yep dealing with delivery agents is one, door to door tradesmen offering to tarmac or jet wash your drive, suddenly having a washing line full of bras and knicker for the neighbours to see is another.

Okay I'm not full time but one day working from home and dressed I heard a noise from the front bedroom. Just about to walk in when I spotted the window cleaner up his ladder through the gap between the door and the frame. Close call but these are the things that happen. For you it can be nothing else but stay calm and carry on.

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Originally Posted by Teresa

I simply said, " Good morning David , we finally get to meet !" He said , " No problem as long as you're happy !" so I replied , " Very happy thanks !" and that was it ..

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So,You showed him that you were a crossdresser. And,that is the thought he left with. Because that was the first time he saw you that way,the impact is totally different from a situation where he never had an interaction with you as male. This is the difference between living as a transperson and you getting selectively dressed up when you are going somewhere "safe". There is a big difference and perhaps your postman and neighbors know that but you don't realize that.

Helen,
I appreciate you commenting on that difference , that being who is the postman going to tell in my case . These days of course most window cleaners don't use ladders but instead those extended hoses usually run thrrough a pump mounted in their van . Now instead of being seen, any clothes left on an airer near the window will be soaked if a window has been left open . I know from experinece this can happen but in my case I was in my art room , I usually set up near a window , I was happily painting away when I sprayed through an open window by the cleaner , OK it is three floors up and maybe he couldn't see the open window, just as well it wasn't the computer class goodness knows what damage could have been done .

Now I have to admit I haven't cleaned my windows around my bungalow outside yet dressed but I have from the inside .

Rogina,
I don't always know the outings are safe , I just go and do my jobs now . You know fully well I'm gradually getting there it's been a very short time since I separated from my wife and I said at the time there will be occasions when I can't dress , even TSs still have this problem as you can see when you browse their section .
For instance my mother has asked me to take her for a hospital appointment next month , she knows about my dressing now but has made it clear she prefers to see the son she gave birth to , I'm not so insensitive to upset an 88 year old lady are you ?

If you call some my outings safe so far then you've missed something . Only last week I met my art group dressed , before that I went with three others to give a talk on being TG to a full lecture theatre full of NHS delegates , I spoke for ten minutes without notes, all three of us were dressed . I went to my blood donation centre dressed , my new GP only knows me as Teresa as does my estate agent and letting agent . I wouldn't call that playing safe I would say it's pushing the envelope ! To my new town I'm almost 100% Teresa .

Please try and be more considerate to members who are struggling with coming out issues , as I said I post these little stories to give encouragement to others . I really don't find your's or Daisy's replies are going to help anyone , I could say much more on this subject but will respect other members .

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Originally Posted by Teresa

Please try and be more considerate to members who are struggling with coming out issues , as I said I post these little stories to give encouragement to others . I really don't find your's or Daisy's replies are going to help anyone , I could say much more on this subject but will respect other members .

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Teresa,

First let me say that I am amazed at how far you've come in your journey. What I'm about to say is not meant to be negative or disrespectful to you in any way. What I see is that you are well on your way to coming out to the world, however reading your postings and accepting what you say, you are coming out to the world as a cross dresser, not as a trans woman.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a cross dresser, if that's what you are great, if you're something else/more that's great also (only you can say what you are). You say that Rogina and Daisy make comments that aren't going to help anyone. What you seem to forget/ignore/not understand is that coming out as a cross dresser, even if it is almost full time, is not the same as coming out as a trans woman. From what I'm reading in their posts it seems that this is something they are trying to ensure that others realize. You've made comments that there are times you still present as male because you are sensitive to the feelings of others, or that it is more appropriate for the occasion. You've made comments that you use clothes to identify which group label you identify with. These types of comments seem to be more in the lines of a cross dressers thinking than that of a trans woman. I'm not saying that what you're doing is easy or lessens what you are doing. What I am saying is that you have a safety net to fall back on, where as I and other trans women don't. My life is 100%, that includes things like going to work every day, dealing with the public (good and bad) every day, shopping, and even as far as going to court as a witness in court cases.

What I'm trying to say, and I think Daisy and Rogina, are also trying to point out is that while there are things that are similar between coming out as a cross dresser and a trans woman, there are also differences, drastic differences, and people need to be aware of that. The last thing anyone wants is to see someone make a mistake because with their life because they have incomplete, or inaccurate information.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I respect you for how far you've come on your journey, and I hope you don't take this as being negative about you or your path.

Oh dear, we are now entering "are you authentic" territory.
Teresa is trying to live her life in a way that she finds comfortable and acceptable. She has a strong and deep desire to present as a woman for most of the time but she has lived a significant part of her life as a male and she still has to deal with a number of emotionally complex relationships such as the one she mentioned with her mother. She is navigating all of this as best she can and with a great sense of humor and, to our great pleasure, she shares much of this with us. I find it interesting and very entertaining and I am always feeling very supportive of what she is doing.
Others here have a very different sense of what they are. Some feel very deeply that they feel like and want to live as authentically as possible as a female. I understand that they feel that way and support all they do. I appreciate reading their stories also.
We are a "broad church" with many members who differ in innumerable ways but all share a common desire to be feminine to some degree or other and for varying amounts of our lives. Why we feel this way si still a mystery with just a few glimmers of understanding but in the meantime we all are in the same boat but not necessarily the same.

Indeed Teresa may not meet some definitions of what it is to be transgender but does it matter. She still appreciates and supports those of us who have a different flavor of TV/TG. From what I have read she fully supports those who feel the need to be fully transgendered and live their lives fully as a female. I don't see the descriptions of her evolving new life as disrespecting any other members here.

She is what she is and I enjoy her frank descriptions of what she does and how she feels.

It's probably important to note that Teresa made a specific choice to open this thread on the Crossdressing forum.

Paula,
I'm not going to disagree with your assessment, I've only been able to dress as I choose since Febraury , to be married for 44 years and then suddenly a life hanging event happens , I'm suddenly free to discover myself , and dress as I choose with obvious limitations because I still have responsibilities to uphold for my family , I will have to learn to ignore my wife, she chooses not to speak to me anymore or see me again , my mother has made it clear how she wishes to deal with it . Naturally there are issues clouding my decision of what I will do in the future . The important point is I'm happy with how my life is going does it really matter what label I put on that , I see it as I'm just being me for the first time in a very long time . Do I want or need 100% I can't say at the present time , it is proving easier than I thought, each day I feel more comfortable with my dressing but do I need to put myself under any pressure ? I certainly don't need it from certain members of the forum because they aren't in my real World and can't possibly know how my World works . I may explain a great deal but not all of it . What I have tried to explain to Rogina and to a point Daisy is their World isn't mine we are all different peresonalities and what works for one may not work for another . We shouldn't sugarcoat everything but there are ways of saying something without appearing to insult or be confrontational . As I also said I may add humour to many of my threads and replies but I know how much I need that otherwise I could risk sliding back to where I was twenty years ago . I'm frustrated that my wife never gave that a thought and I'm also disapointed that members here can't cut people a little slack when they know that background . I often think about that when talking to others here and in reality , sometimes you have to read between the lines to get the full picture , some people can't open up to tell you how desparate they are , so you have to consider that when giving a reply . Most of us here are in a sensitive situation , we are struggling with so many issues , I still have them to deal with and sometimes I need help . I wish everyone would consider these facts before wading in with their big boots on !

Consuelo,
I thank you for those kind words , your attitude is what this forum should be about , we help each other but also have some fun , CDing does hjave a great deal of humour , lerts face it we do need to laugh at ourselves somtimes , we are a special group of people who aren't allowed to show that at times and yet we do no one any harm .

Compared to your other outings and such this seems minor in comparison. I have never had an issue with a post person, always professional.

I identify as a CD and was fully dressed last week at home. I was expecting a package for which I needed to sign. When the bell rang, I didn't hesitate to open the door, sign the electronic pad, and thank him for the delivery. A milestone? Not really, but simply being able to interact with others while dressed.

I enjoy Teresa's posts about her journey, and don't feel that she should be castigated for being who she is. :hugs:

Pat,
It was just a lighthearted thread about a simple meeting with my postman and how it panned out , it didn't justify any other section . I certainly didn't expect this outcome !

To be honest with everyone I'm quite prepared to walk away from the forum , I'll miss some good friends but I won't miss the rest and I'll leave it at that and let others fill in the blanks !

Why does things always have to be right or wrong? Not everyone sees things the same way. Am i perfect no. Do i do everything the right way no. Nor does anyone else here or any where. We're all here to talk and to share things in our lives. Some may say things in the perfect manner in which they are meant while others say things that makes total sense to them but makes no sense to others. We can't read every detail that went on. People can't remember every detail that has led them to a point or what was they are trying to say. There is enough anger and resentment in the world. We shouldn't be adding to ours. And ladies it's not my business to but in and I'm only giving my opinion. So go be happy and enjoy. Im sorry if I may have offended anyone that was not my intentions.

Teresa, stick around don't let others opinions drive you away! I feel that you provide stories of your real life that might help others continue on their journeys! You might even get a few out of the closet! There are over 29000 members and only less than 3000 are active! You do not know how you are effecting them! I feel (and I hate label/boxes) that you are generally nonbinary as you need to be male part time! Maybe I am confusing terms here but you are either fluid as you can be either gender or you are transgender just not TS! There is no real reason for you to quit the forum! Please stay and share your wisdom and friendly advise with your sisters here! I do not wish to shut down Daisy or Rogina either as there advise although often "Icy" is concern and wisdom that some of us need to reflect on! "Tough Love" sort of thing! We are all in this together! Let's try to get along! Hugs Lana Mae

Oh my gosh Teresa, please don't leave us. Whenever I visit this site I always search for your latest post. I love your sense of humor and that you have shared with us the details of your journey. I identify with many of the issues you have confronted and like you I have a degree of fetishism and "self love" in my transvestism.

I am also glad that Daisy, Rogina and Paula are members here and share their views and experiences with us. I learn so much from you all. Given the nastiness in the World that is expressed toward cross dressers, transgendered persons and many others, it behooves us to "hang together" as Doctor Johnson once said as "we shall surely hang separately. (Apologies for my bowdlerized version)

Finally, to end on a lighter note. Teresa, why don't you call your postman Pat? Sorry a bit of an in British joke there.

Teresa,
What I fel is that in general there will always be those who have it in themselves to down others but thankfully they are in the minority, maybe we should forget or learn to ignore those that disparage others but the majority here are here to support others and freely give there own advice on various things.
The one thing you must not do is not walk away from us as you think you might. Your threads, sometimes hilarious and totally funny sometimes serious are just whats needed from time to time.
Dressing should be an enjoyable time and something to cherish and at times to have a good laugh over, getting serious over it all makes for a way too serious outlook on life.
For many reasons you have good place here, you have the means to impart your experiences to the rest of us especially for the new ones who are thirsty for help and advice. Surely it is for us more experienced ones to be there for ,those that need us. Walking away from something when things get tough in a way is not right, we should stand by our beleifs and status in society.
Having the success that you so far have gained since you separated from your wife is something which all of us can gleen knowledge from, take the nuts and bolts out of your experiences and adapt them to our individual needs.
Successful outings and experiences are what we need here.
What we do not want here is " Bonaparte's retreat" STAY WITH US" and help us to get where we want to be each oin our own special ways.
Your wisdom and humour is much needed here.

I am not totally sure I followed all the excitement in this thread, but being a big user of humor in my people dealings, I throughly enjoyed Teresa’s post/story. I like all of your posts and the stories of your journey.

I can’t understand how people let their “panties get in a bundle” over little things. One of the great disadvantages of this electronic medium is that it strips all inferences and things that would be very well understood in a typical conversation get whitewashed. Just the nature of the beast. No reason to get upset about such happenings.

Teresa, I’ll be waiting for your next adventure!

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Originally Posted by Paula DAngelo

Teresa,

What I see is that you are well on your way to coming out to the world, however reading your postings and accepting what you say, you are coming out to the world as a cross dresser, not as a trans woman.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a cross dresser, if that's what you are great, if you're something else/more that's great also (only you can say what you are). You say that Rogina and Daisy make comments that aren't going to help anyone. What I am saying is that you have a safety net to fall back on, where as I and other trans women don't.

What I'm trying to say, and I think Daisy and Rogina, are also trying to point out is that while there are things that are similar between coming out as a cross dresser and a trans woman, there are also differences, drastic differences, and people need to be aware of that. The last thing anyone wants is to see someone make a mistake because with their life because they have incomplete, or inaccurate information.

.

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Paula describes exactly what I and Daisy see in your posts. We are not trying to belittle your experiences...It is just that they are "beginning experiences" of a crossdresser. Not the same as a day in the life of a full time transperson.

Closing this thread even after one of the moderators tried very hard to save it, as it has morphed into something completely different

The original post was about a recent experience of a daily interaction . This post was not written in the Transexual forum, but in the Crossdressing Forum. After reading the entire thread multiple times, there was zero mention of the OP comparing her experiences to that someone who completely TS.

Please be cognizant of this when applying your personal “beliefs” or “status” as it applies to anyone who posts here, as sometimes as Rianna stated it borders on a personal attack on the original poster.

If I see this continue on future posts, it will results with a temporary timeout from this forum.