HALLOWEEN: The night no one went out

I just want to drop this here because every Halloween it's the same ole story here. Girls want to go out and others try to keep them from doing so. It's happened every year since I have been here and this year looks to be no different.

I understand there are pro's and con's of using Halloween as an excuse to get out there but with everything we do, we do it in baby steps, until we reach a comfort and confidence level where we don't need a crutch or "excuse" to fall back on if we are seen or recognized by someone we know.

There are many ways to enjoy dressing fully, from head to toe, with minimum risk. Go to a park (I do this almost every year) , go to a almost dead mall, go to an outside mall, go way out from home where it doesn't matter at all and enjoy the drive as a woman. many different places to go, many different experiences but spending the day outside, somewhere, mere words can not explain.

Halloween parties are a different story but not by much. Yes, if your worried about being outed then you probably should do a female costume or a very badly made up woman (cheap wig, full beard, wobbling around in heels, etc, etc, etc) and play it as it is but there is NOTHING saying that You can't go all nine's and do a really good job of it and go to a party.

Maybe, if your a person like me, you don't like doing things half way, if your SO is going then she could have helped, it's not like they would know different unless she says "nope, he did it all his self" to everyone she comes across and from what we read around here, most SO's would never do that afraid it may fall back on her in some way, shape, or form. .

The moral of this post is: Please do not try to discourage a sister this holiday season from trying to take another baby step in her personal evolution when it comes to her dressing. The feeling and experience of being outside, ANY WHERE, is beyond words and had i listened to the posts 4-5 years ago I would have never had that experience and would probably be sitting here wishing I could go out this holiday season before it's gone another year.

A lot of you identify as TG and going out dressed every day, let alone on or around Halloween, is easy peasy at this point and is a non issue. You give it no thought, you see it as normal everyday behavior, you have fought through the fears and everything else that comes with it, it's just another day in your life.

For those of us that DO identify as Cross dresser's, It's not an every day thing, we don't get out there when ever we feel like it and we are over come with a lot of fears that were conquered bu others long ago. Hell, even shopping is a major deal to some of us. We have a long way to go to accepting this life style hat we didn't have a lot of say in, discouraging any one from taking that small step (which isn't small to us) is shameful.

In closing to the sisters that want to get out there, be nike, just do it. Doesn't matter how, where, when, or why....if you want an experience you will always remember. GO. Halloween is one day of 365 till it happens again and believe me, you'll spend those 365 days regretting not doing it because some one told you that you would be outed the minute you crossed that door way.


I'm done, just wanted to get this off my chest for yet another year.
Have a safe Halloween

Joanne

Joanne...…………………..:notworthy: ….Amen...…………………………….Debra

Wonderful and very true post. We have to be 18 on this site and most of us are multiples of that age here. We make hundreds of decisions everyday and have to live with the corresponding results. Go forth and multiply (our numbers out in the real world)!!!!!

Great post Joanne. I had every intention of going to a tg/cd Halloween party last year. Logistically, it was too difficult getting there, so I waited anxiously for this year's party. Well, that plan failed due to work scheduling, which ended up falling through the night of.... oh well, there's always next year

If Halloween is the only day you feel comfortable to go out then get out there.
Perhaps you will realize it does not matter which day you go out to enjoy being your femme self.
The risk of being seen by someone you know is still there so thinking its Halloween the risk is less then you are dreaming.
Just dress up go out and have a great time the world isn't going to end LOLOL.

I don't get the opportunity to go out at Halloween, only on NYE - a meal, club, and possibly a party with friends. I've done costume and just "dressed as a woman" albeit usually leaning towards a Goth image - which is how I think I would like to dress as a younger woman.

I've looked comfortable enough to be asked if I regularly cross dress to which my response is "No , only on NYE". In terms of going out, this is true. Do I care if I'm believed? No not really. My NYE photo is on my Facebook profile and even some of my former clients - I'm now retired - have been complimentary.

My wife's not keen on me dressing at other times, but she does help as she's always been into fashion as a former window dresser. Interestingly, early this year she suggested we both take advantage of the post-Christmas cosmetics sales, and has suggested costumes for the coming NYE. We've just bought the same boots in our respective sizes after she spotted them and pointed them out to me.

Given the limited opportunity for dressing that such celebrations as Halloween and NYE provide, if you get the opportunity to dress, just do it. I'm old enough to be running out of time - don't make that mistake if you can possibly avoid it.

Well, Joanne, they DO say that Halloween is the Crossdressers' National Holiday... ;)

Yes there is nothing wrong with using Halloween as a crutch if you need it. But don't think just because it is halloween friends won't say stuff. I took more crap the first halloween I dressed then all the other times. That being said i did dress for work so that is part of it. I'm f I had it to do all over again I would do it the same because I had fun and all the teasing wasn't meant to hurt me. I probably won't be out on halloween but maybe this weekend for the big party.

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Originally Posted by GemmaK

I don't get the opportunity to go out at Halloween, only on NYE

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I would love to go to a NYE party dressed all fancy and such!
Just another one of those 'list' items.

In the early 1960's Dressing like a GIRL on Halloween was THE thing to do for young teenage Boys in south Louisiana and Mississippi. I thought it odd, as I had recently moved down to the Gulf coast from South Carolina-----where it was not done.---Yet, I still stuck with my "Grim reaper" costume, even though my friends Paul and Charles wore makeup and their feminine finery as we hit the town trick or treating. Even John, "the Bully", had an affinity for dressing like a "saloon girl" or "gun moll" type--Of course, secretly, I wished I could dress too---but I was too "Closeted" then and it would be embarrassing for me to do so----Of course I look back NOW and KNOW I could have gotten away with it--I regret not doing so.

A Year later, My friend Paul dressed for the last time---when He got a hold of the "wrong kind of lipstick" and couldn't get it off afterwards.--- Paul's family was Catholic, so He HAD to go to CHURCH wearing it the next morning. Laughing, Charles told me how he met him at church, people looking at him, etc. Paul told me he had tried everything to remove it, but still had dark red lips well into the next day.---And Decided to "Retire forever" from dressing like a girl any more.---Apparently back then "24 Hour Lipstick" really meant 24 hours ;) The experience sort of made Charles shy away from it too.---So from then on, we just gave out the treats on Halloween.

Because I dressed regularly Halloween was always a non event.

It just meant a flashier dress or wearing a costume.

Princess, Maid, Cheerleader and Cat Woman were always good for me.

Because of the mask, no one in my work group ever knew who Cat Woman was.

Very successful.

I don't think I ever remember anyone telling others on this forum NOT to go out crossdressed if they wanted to. Are you sure you've read that?? We may advise caution, but actually telling someone not to go out?

Joanne, I think I remember posts negative on going out on Halloween. Usually it wasn't don't go, but more if you are deep in the closet, the Halloween cover story won't work.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

I don't think I ever remember anyone telling others on this forum NOT to go out crossdressed if they wanted to. Are you sure you've read that?? We may advise caution, but actually telling someone not to go out?

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It was more like advising not to go or you'll automatically be outed , which may or may not be the case and it's the same as telling someone not to go but at no point in my post did I say that ANYONE said NOT to go directly to any one sister. As a support forum we should be encouraging those that want to try getting out there to get out there, not saying that if you do, especially on Halloween, all hell's going to break loose (and for the record nobody said that directly either) and You'll be outed the minute you cross the doorway.

Let's face one hard, cold fact about what we do, whether your in the house, outside the house, in a CD store or whatever....there is always the chance and risk of being outed. You don't even need to be dressed at the time, someone could find your things, see you reading something, or see you walking into a store you normally wouldn't and blam.....outed.

Like i said, the moral is, if you want to get out on Halloween, If you want to use that as a crutch (which may or may not work) then just go. Just do it. Don't let anyone tell you, directly or indirectly, that it won't work for absolute sure.


Usually it wasn't don't go, but more if you are deep in the closet, the Halloween cover story won't work.

I personally think the deeper you are, the more of a chance it has to work. Lost a bet could work on Halloween too. If your always showing signs of being feminine or having feminine traits (and let's face it, your not CD then, your TG ) then there is a good chance that it won't as most of the people who know you already suspect something.

Well said and I agree with everything! I don't say much on these forums, but I support everybody for how they want to use the holiday whether it's a good chance to dress up and go outside or just treat it like a normal holiday and not feel the need to go out.

Dunno about the US and elsewhere,But I don't think Halloween is that big a deal anymore,the magic has gone.

Sophie

which brings up the question: are there any members here willing to do the french quarter in new orleans this weekend?

Halloween is not a big thing where I come from (UK). The shops seem to be full of more Halloween crap every year, but hardly anybody where I live goes trick or treating any more. Even when they did, it was mainly young kids. And to be honest, if you ring somebody's door bell on Halloween, it's more than likely to be ignored.
If I bought one of the female Halloween costumes and wore that outside, people wouldn't think "It's Halloween, so it's ok". They're more likely to think "why is he wearing a dress?" and are more likely to suspect me of being a CD.

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Originally Posted by t-girlxsophie

Dunno about the US and elsewhere,But I don't think Halloween is that big a deal anymore,the magic has gone.

Sophie

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That it most certainly has. It's all but dead. The one thing that keeps it alive is the parties and such, not so much the door to door thing anymore.

I beg to differ, Joanne and sophie.

Halloween has become HUGE (with apologies to #45 ;) ) in North America in recent years, and in many ways has overtaken Christmas as THE event of the year...both from a celebratory/partying standpoint as well as for retail spending, according to prevailing statistics. Anecdotally, that is also pretty evident when one considers the increasingly elaborate Halloween decorations that people are putting up these days, and one tip to Walmart, Home Depot, Lowes and the like should be sufficient to convert any remaining skeptic to accept that self-evident truth, given the way the retail sector pushes consumer spending by aggressively promoting that particular event each year. Spooky! ;)

I would dress up and go out... I can't as I am home handing out the candy!

Great thread, Joanne. I struggled with this for YEARS - for exactly the same reasons. I knew that if I was going to dress for Halloween, I wouldn't be able to do it halfway, but I also knew that increased the risk of being "outed" for sure. But you know what? I'm not certain it's as much of a risk as we might think. WE are looking for crossdressers around every corner. Most average folks are not. So if you worry that someone might suspect something just because you make a really convincing woman, odds are their minds won't go there. Or if they do, it's only in passing. Trust me, I live with this hightened state of paranoia for a long time!

This will be my fourth time in 10 years going to the same annual Halloween party in drag. The last time was 2014, because by that point I started figuring, ok people are going to start to suspect. But suspect what? That I like to dress up a like a woman? Well, it's not like they're wrong! And most people, even if they do suspect SOMETHING, are unlikely to badger you with a bunch of follow-up questions. They might just suspect it's something you do on Halloween. In my case, people have asked my wife, "Did you do his makeup?" To which she always replies, "Nope. This is all him!" Which actually makes me proud, like, "Yes, I can do this. I have a talent for it." And I respect that my wife doesn't feel any need to try to cover for me. In other words, she's going to make me own up to this. She doesn't mind that I like to dress like this on Halloween, but she's also not going to take any ownership of it!

All that said, my motto lately has been "you do you." If you want to go, and it feels right to you - do it! If you don't feel ready or comfortable - don't! But I agree with your statement about how you will regret it if you let someone else talk you out of it. One of the deciding factors for me this year was that in past years when I've wanted to go as female and didn't, I end up having a bad time, because I stand around at the party wishing I had just done what I wanted.

Whew! Anyway, whatever you all decide, Happy Halloween!

PS: The whole reason I logged in this morning was I was going to post a rant about a Goodwill commercial they just ran for Halloween, where the wife is talking on the phone to a friend about what her husband should go as for Halloween. After each idea, his outfit changes to match what she says. The last one is "something feisty," and suddenly he's in a French maid outfit. Her reaction is "Oh no! Too far!" Really? You're not helping - Goodwill!!! This is exactly the sort of thing that makes an on-the-fence crossdresser think, twice. Arggh...

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Originally Posted by Kalisopwith

I would dress up and go out... I can't as I am home handing out the candy!

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Isn't that the truth! My first forays among the Halloween muggles was when I was a lot younger than now. After dishing out treats, and, our kids were in bed a sleep, I did venture forth twice attired as a young woman. My wife was always exhausted from taking care of young kids. She slept like a rock. Now? She stays up until midnight. Sigh! Now I have to wait for her to take overnight trips.

I don't recall any Halloween posts recommending a cross dresser to NOT go out. Only to be aware there is certain risks v rewards. If your presentation is too good there could be some negative consequences from narrow minded people.

And, Halloween seems to be on the down swing in my area. Last year we bought 13 bags of Fun Bars and ended up with 8 at the end of the night. At the end of the night we ended up giving some lucky kids full bags.

I will be fully dressed this year and handing out the candy to neighbor's kids, etc. Generaly several hundred, as we always have a good stash to pass out. Have a dress I got on Amazon,with a strong halloween theme. Neighbors have never seen me dressed, but several of them have dressed while taking kids out to trick & treat. Should be interesting and fun. I will either be out to all of them or just appear as in costume.

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Originally Posted by HollyGreene

If I bought one of the female Halloween costumes and wore that outside, people wouldn't think "It's Halloween, so it's ok". They're more likely to think "why is he wearing a dress?"

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Yep :)

From what I understand, *trick-or-treating* on Halloween evening/night (at least in the US) has been on the wane for quite some time now.

Not saying it still doesn't go on, especially in certain neighborhoods or social groups or whatever. But overall, the trend for that is down.



However... :)

Other things have been on the *rise*!


For example, instead of parents taking their kids trick-or-treating (or letting them go, or passing out candy at their door), what many of them have been doing is to have parties at home for themselves & friends/family. Food, drink, music, etc. Kids still get to wear costumes -- and even some of the adults may partake!

Another example (and this has been going on for a loooong time), is for young adults (say, 21 to 25) to throw on costumes & go clubbing. Loud music, skimpy outfits, lots of alcohol -- and hooking-up. :heehee:

Though that latter trend has been rising in age, as well. Late 20's, 30's, even 40+, have been joining in. Heck, back during my en-femme days, the oldest GG in my social circle who got all dolled up for Halloween clubbing was something like 55 years old! (And she had the body of a hot 20-something, no joke. :battingeyelashes: )



Anyway, no one has to do anything, obviously. But Halloween has definitely shifted, here in the US.

It's still about the kids -- though it's also way more for adults now, too. And that is definitely a good thing for a CD'er. ;)

My wife and I were invited to a Halloween party when we were first married. She went as me, (manufacturing worker) and I went as her (nurse). She did not know at the time I was a crossdresser - it was a wonderful night. I remember one of my make co-workers staring at my legs in my short nursing dress. It was a blast. But that was the last time ever. I am in a DADT relationship now. I moved for a job change so I was living by myself for a time being. I dressed up on Halloween and then spent the next 1/2 hour struggling to go out the door. Finally, I went out the door, drove to the next town over, went into a CVS and brought a bag of halloween candy, and then back to my apartment. It was a big thrill to be dressed. Hats off to all those that get to dress on Halloween. I'll be dressed in my pink fog brain.

The problem with “just go out and do it” is that depending on where you live, if one is outed their jobs, their housing, or even their personal safety could be at risk. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to advise caution to members who are obviously nervous about being outed. Telling someone to tone down their appearance to blend with Halloween isn’t “try[ing] to keep them from” going out.

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Originally Posted by Micki_Finn

The problem with “just go out and do it” is that depending on where you live, if one is outed their jobs, their housing, or even their personal safety could be at risk. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to advise caution to members who are obviously nervous about being outed. Telling someone to tone down their appearance to blend with Halloween isn’t “try[ing] to keep them from” going out.

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Absolutely right. I sometimes forget that I live in a really progressive community, and have a really open-minded group of friends (who are a bunch of creative types - theater, dance, music, writing - this is my circle). So I'm very fortunate that with this group, even if they suspect something, it'd likely be no big deal. And it took me a long time to come to that realization. Everyone has to do what's right for them, and if there was any risk of any of the above, then it's absolutely not worth it. Thanks for the clarification.

Last year, I decided to "come out" my wife right before Halloween (because I wanted to dress again), and I think she was most shocked by the fact that I thought I was 1) telling her something she didn't know, and 2) that this was even a big deal. She said, "Don't you think that if I actually had a problem with this I would've said something before?" I'm very lucky...and kind of an idiot with how I handled it.