Today I looked at some photos of myself in lingerie and, for the first time, actually felt aroused by the images. I've been turned on while dressing, combined with fantasy and images of others, but never of myself. Have you?
Julie
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Today I looked at some photos of myself in lingerie and, for the first time, actually felt aroused by the images. I've been turned on while dressing, combined with fantasy and images of others, but never of myself. Have you?
Julie
That's quite common. Some people refer to this as Autogynephilia.
I don't get "turned on" by my own image so much as "feel sexy" or confident.
But I do often domme myself in the mirror in a non-sexual way, and trance myself. If your personality is s bit fractured (like mine lol) you can get an actual power exchange this way and it's a fun way of imposing self discipline and regulating yourself.
Apologies had to Goggle
Autogynephilia (derived from Greek for 'love of oneself as a woman') is the term Blanchard coined for "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female", intending for the term to refer to "the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies"
Enjoy Julie, life is short hun...
I am very similar to Wen4cd in that I dont get turned on by myself - nowhere near pretty enough for that. I do, however, feel extremely sexy and gorgeous when dressed. The feeling inside me when I put on bra, panties, skirt or a dress. I just feel warm and extremely happy. At this stage, I only really look in the mirror to confirm that I really do have a big grin on my face. Maybe that will change when I start doing make up, nails etc but for right now, it is all about the feeling and pleasure dressing gives me.
Love Rach
Julie, I have experienced that feeling too. Its not like back when I was 13 (and even the wind blowing could be erotic ,,, LOL) but yeah, when I look a pictures of myself dressed and you see a very sexy woman it can give me a little rush.
Mmmmm i think if anyone said that never happen to them they would be lying to themselves!
This past year I haven?t been able to dress fully but when I do I still get as much of a thrill as a 69 year old can muster. Nothing comes of it but the thought still comes up it makes my stomach flutter a bit.
In spite of no outlet I still am a sexual creature and in my case having been a cult member for 25 years one goal of my therapy is to cut through the religious guilt. I wouldn?t be as attracted to dressing if I didn?t feel that bit of a rush. If that makes me an autowhatever so be it, I will own it because that is me. Actually we have spent a lot of time peeling these kinds of layers off in an attempt to figure me out. Nothing has been off limits and I welcome the findings. Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.
I love it when we have the facts. Thank you for the google saved me a trip myself. I?d never heard of it until now.Quote:
Originally Posted by mbmeen12
Indirectly if this counts: I have taken the scenic route to the chills and the quickened pulse in the form of another person telling me that a pic of me turned them on. ( The gentle way it was written contributed. Other more straight-to-the-point expressions of affection have had me appreciative of the sentiment but dampened by the delivery ). And then together with the thought that that pic did that to them, it then became a turn-on to me.
If, in that emotionally-charged state, I would have seen myself walking along the street, would I have propositioned me? No.
If the other person were walking along the street, would I have propositioned them? Unlikely, but it would have been closer. ( Hesitant because I wouldn't be sure whether I'm just high on validation or whether I'm truly interested. Probably the former ).
- L.
It is pretty common to be aroused by photos of yourself as a woman. And there is nothing wrong with that. It may be a type of dissociative behavior. Over time that response normally fades away as you begin to see that image as not sexually attractive but more of a real woman. So it may be that your brain is reminded of the feelings you had when you really looked like that and is replaying those memories in the context of the present. Most of your memories are tied to what can be likened to the "stories" the brain builds to remember events and restring them into a sensible series that resembles the original event. It could also be a matter of your brain constructing a meaningful story derived from looking at the photograph so it can store the memory of the current moment and its associated feelings. The next time you view the photo your brain will play back that stored story and you will have similar feelings that may or may not be re-stored with modifications and possible enhancements that were not there when the photo was first viewed.
We like to think our brain only sees the plain and naked facts. Not so. Most facts are stored with an association to something that provides a context. That is how assumed facts can start to appear as the truth when replayed and thereby become convincingly more "factual" to the point of being illusions or delusions. Viewing things objectively requires training your brain to not associate something factual with a story that puts the fact in an emotional context. It is easy to mix them up pure objectivity is next to impossible for our brains to achieve. It just doesn't work that way.
Autogynephilia is a real thing but it is probably a matter of associating a physical look with an emotional response that was printed into your memory. The thought was that that association will always occur when your brain sees your image in a context that is similar to the original event. Thus the idea that autogynephilic people of one sex desires to have sex when that self is seen as presenting as the opposite sex is promoted into an illusion of reality. Unfortunately, the theory collapsed when it was found out the brain doesn't actually work precisely that way and the autogynephilic response is contrived and out of the context of the present. The theory has enough truth to it to think things are actually working that way when, in fact, they are not. Increasing the magnification of the microscope can show that somethings you thought were there really aren't and just look that way at low magnification. It becomes an illusion or delusion that you habitually turn to. Breaking the habit puts the train back on the tracks and, in time, the sexual response to the image of yourself as being seen as somewhat female and therefore sexually attractive your male self fades away and only rarely pops into the conscious mind to produce a bit of arousal. Instead of arousal, your thought is, "Dang, I make a pretty good looking chick." You see you as having a personality and identity and not just a sexuality.
Thinking about this thread in the bigger picture I am wondering what the point is. So, if we say yes, my dressing has a sexual component, what does that imply? Are we to consider ourselves to not be legitimate crossdressers or simply on a different branch of the transgender tree?
I?m wondering what it means if we say yes.
How about 'soft focus?' When I get all dressed up (mask and all, sigh) I go to the big mirror in the bathroom looking down, then close my eyes, pose, and open them. I often get a 'wow' reaction and my eyes do the soft focus common when you look at that special someone. I don't know if that counts as 'turned on.' The touch of the clothes gets me more.
Yes, my pleasure principle turns on every time I dress and I dress daily. The pink fog is always with me to some degree. I don?t experience fantasy or images of others.
Nope, never happened to me. I might feel sexy, and I can appreciate that I look good, but I’ve never been aroused by myself.
Hi Julie, While I have several pictures of myself, I don't have any lingerie pictures, I do have effeminate pictures I occasionally enjoy looking at. After getting all dolled up I have paused at the mirror for way too long almost, longing for that woman. Thanks for the post, I will enjoy watching the responses. Take care, Brenda
It's been a long time....very long time...but, probably yes. Now? At 73? Not so much. Perhaps, it is looking at a mature woman as desirable. There was a time when the visual of a woman letting it all "just hang out" as if she was looking to get in bed was a definite turn on. Now, it is a woman with a good deal of mystery. That's how I view myself when attired in pretty dress and heels.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Star01
. . . You know how you can consider somebody attractive but not be attracted to them? Well, similarly here, ( if it's purely about attraction-to-self without a force-multiplier like third-party admiration, specifically selected attire, realisation of ambition, etc ), there would also need to be an aligning.
Fundamentally, you would need a great transformation first. That ain't easy :whew!:. And then that transformation would also need to align with what you find a turn-on. That's just a crap shoot.
So it's clear to see why many people's answer would be "no".
So if your answer is "yes" what does it imply? Well, at the very least, it implies you have a great transformation.
- L.
Julie,
My image doesn't tun me on but I accept I look more attractive as a female than in male mode , that is more a connection with wearing women's clothes , they look more attractive , pretty and possibly sexy .
Monica,
Autogynephilia is a more complex subject than " Just loving yourself as a woman " . I admit I do have AGP but it's more than just sexual , the need to be seen and accepted as a woman . I dug deeper into the subject away from the forum and discovered work after Blanchard . He did get aspects of it wrong as it's also associated with TG people and not just TSs as he suggested .
It's a label I accept and live with , it's no big deal and doesn't really affect my life now .
I do feel it touches on a female side within us , we choose certain clothes possibly like a woman would to make herself pretty , attractive , glamourous or sexy . So that raises the question what drives the need in a woman , who does she do it for herself or the close people around her ? Why should we be any different and where is the harm in feeling that way ?
i think there can be quite a bit of fetishism associated with crossdressing. I think people can deny it, but they can be lying to themselves. Why do you think so many people underdress?
A couple months ago while searching to try and understand myself better I ran across the subject of Autogynephilia and brought it up in one of our sessions. My therapist dismissed it as not relevant in the sense that human sexuality is so intertwined with everything else about us. I am working through religious quilt from twenty five years of cult indoctrination so he instead focused on that. I get the impression that the focus with me is the guilt and accepting myself (dare I say the word) as transgender. In other words, this is what I am and where I'm at in my life, now what. The sexual side is obviously a factor from the first time the soldier stood at attention until today he's a shriveled up old veteran but still remembers how to snap to attention.
Darla,
Underdressing satisfies many needs , some could be sexual but to others it's the best compromise to not being free to be out .
If I had a problem with a sexual side being dressed and turned on I couldn't comfortably go out as Teresa , people are only comfortable and accept me because they see me as a woman , otherwise I might be rejected as a pervert .
Star,
Many reject AGP because of Ray Blanchard getting some facts wrong , he upset many people but I have contacted professionals in this field away from the forum and it is a very complex subject . I know the way my dressing started was very much to do with AGP , we have to accept we are all different , some labels just don't fit with some people but it doesn't mean the labels are valueless .
I started out being aroused by my image in the mirror and in photos 23 years ago and at age 77 still do! Looking at photos like my avatar, how could I not?:daydreaming:
Teresa, I don't wish to nitpick but I believe Blanchard's AGP involved sex and arousal, not "love" for one's fem self. Aitho I enjoy going out dressed with, and meeting up with, other dressers?
That is a COMPLETELY DIFFEREN'T feeling from AGP. Sex never enters my mind when I'm out dressed. With or without others around!:battingeyelashes:
There was a time, during one of my "Why, oh why do I do this" moments, that I latched onto the idea that I was turned on by my image dressed. But, that idea was untenable since I'm not that attractive dressed as a female. So, what is it about CDing that is a turn on for me? My conclusion, for now, is that I'm turned on by the state of emasculation. The idea of being a man and especially the idea of performing sexually as a man was always attractive to me in theory but in actuality it filled me with dread. So I began to fantasize about being on the other side of the equation. Not being a "man" for a bit of time is what allowed me to experience sexual arousal without angst.
re: autogynephilia. There are two aspects of AGP that get mixed up. There is AGP the phenomenon and AGP the theory. The phenomenon is "a male's tendency to be sexually aroused by the idea or image of himself as a woman." Then there is the theory which is meant to explain the phenomenon. The theory has multiple parts. One is that there are two types of Transsexuals: The exclusively androphilic type and the AGP type. I'm not trans so this doesn't apply to me. Maybe it doesn't apply to anybody. I don't know and I don't care. Another part of the theory that supposedly applies to AGPs is the idea of erotic target location error (ETLE). Basically, this says that the AGP is attracted to himself as a woman and becomes his own girlfriend. That's kind of what this thread is about. I don't think this applies to me either as I explained above but it might be a related concept. But when I think of AGP as applied to myself, I'm only thinking of the phenomenon and not the theory.
I do have a gleam of satisfaction when I see a photo of myself in an attractive setting.
It means I have got it all together for once. :-)
Hi Julie, I never bought the autogynephilia theory because it wasn't scientifically backed and I love that GretchenM is providing interesting information about it (interesting because at least her explanation makes some sense, compared to the many ludicrous analysis I stumbled on so far on the Net).
As for being aroused by looking at your own pictures, I think what GretchenM says too (in the first section of her post), it can be explained by the bringing back of memories of an experience that may have turned you on at the time.
Also, my personal opinion, I find it difficult to believe that you can be sexually attracted to yourself, our brains have been wired to be looking for mates since (ok, a little after) dinos walked the Earth, habits so long in the making are hard to give up, and the inescapable proof of this is that a biped can't tickle himself as you probably know. I suspect that members attracted to themselves in car rear view mirrors or other types of reflective or capturing devices are reacting to the female cues their image is sending, and your imagination does the rest to build this feminine creature or concept that sends butterflies to your belly.
Ladies, this is more common, and complicated than I realized. I find many threads on CD.com to be light and polite. So I didn't expect this much response, to a, perhaps, fringe topic within our fringe CD world. Also, I expected some adversarial replies, given the social media environment of late. Overall, I'm appreciating all the responses, especially the research info. I have some homework to do.
Julie
Looking at photos,,,, Maybe years ago.... but lately I require a lot more external stimulation! lol A LOT!!
Sherry,
Autogynephilia translates as to "love yourself as a woman ", It is a complex subject revealed by people who continued and improved the basic work by Blanchard . I'm not prepared to reveal the professionals I contacted about tgis subject but I received a great deal of information dealing with AGP from a TG perspective , that is when the penny dropped with me . As I mentioned I now accept the label might apply to me but on a daily basis it doesn't affect me .
I also accept that being out in public or meeting other TGs sex doesn't enter my head .
Diane,
There is a grerat deal of BS connected with AGP on ther internet , like there is with many trans issues . I contacted the professionals directly and received some very useful information . If something doesn't apply to you doesn't mean it's not valid to others .
Stevie,
That is still part of the whole picture but basically what you say is right . The problem was Blanchard associated it with TSs and many aren't sexually maotivated as he suggested , you could say it applies more to many CDers .
I used to believe I was your average garden variety crossdresser but after reading these responses, I’d now have to say no definitely not. I have previously posted about being a fetish dresser, I think it was a docrobbysherry post; “Where are my fetish dressers at” or something like that.
I am a very sexual person (happily married!) and definitely get turned on every.. single..time.. I dress. I believe I have some non TS form of AGP (if that exists) since I love to see and get turned on by myself dressed up. As I‘ve posted before, when I go out to dinner or clubbing to dance with my wife, I prefer venues with mirrors so I can occasionally catch a glimpse of myself in said mirror. It must be some deep seated validation at some level I imagine. I have absolutely no intentions of transitioning, it just feels like I’m a creative artist that trying to take a male body and transform that male image into that of a sexy woman.
Also with my wife’s full support, I will also admit to taking a lot of lingerie photo/video shoots that absolutely turn me on. So my answer to the OP’s question is a definite Yas Queen! Maybe it’s my non Anglo Spanish/Italian ethnicity or maybe it was my liberal Uni experience but I have never been a conservative person. Again, these previous responses make me feel that I may be in the minority but I will wave the fetish flag proudly! :battingeyelashes:
Like many of the other girls, I dont get turned on by seeing myself in the mirror while dressed as I am not passable at all from the neck up. By the time I get enough makeup on to make me look passable, the day is over with. :)
Another Google search shows
LoveQuote:
Michael Aaron, author of Modern Sexuality: The Truth About Sex And Relationships, told Refinery29 that feeling turned on by yourself is quite common: "Some experience it more like an orientation, in that they feel more aroused by themselves than by others, and they are called autosexuals."May 20, 2019
Lisa :)
Hi Julie,
Well I never thought about kissing myself in the mirror, but If my looks were as good as Lux, I might have to think about it. Haha. I actually get a bigger thrill about people being attracted to me , but that?s another thing.
Sandi
I'm not sure if this totally or directly answers the original question but there are times that I look at certain things I'm wearing and I do get a little "tingle" from what I see... :)
Lacy PJs
yes .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux
You are far above the garden variety crossdresser!!
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I too got a tingle dressed, depending on what I am wearing. I know my new Roanyer breastplate certainly messes with my mind. It is one thing to have fake boobs balloon forms, but another thing when you look down and see realistic looking breasts!
In the beginning of 2020 I read a lot on Blanchards theory of Autogynephilia. I was trying to find the label to explain my behaviors. I read the book Men trapped in men's bodies written by Dr. Anne Lawrence psychologist, sexologist, anesthesiologist and a trans woman. I found a lot of similarities to myself in the theory. But, I feel that Dr. Lawrence and Blanchard mistook the tree for the forest. But I also feel that many who discount the theory do so for two reasons the first being that the theory may not check off all of their own particular boxes and the fact that the theory runs counter to the accepted belief that there are only trans women and perverts.
My personal conclusion from the research that i did is I feel that I am a bisexual cross dresser on the non-binary scale closer to the trans female side then to androgynous center. So when the transgender box did not totally fit I tried labeling my self as Autogynephilic, but that box did not fit me either. But anyway, yes there have been a few occasions that I had seen a picture of my self or seen myself in a mirror and felt some arousal at seeing myself as a woman. I think that someday I will want to transition but I am still holding back on committing to it.
Either way if you are not harming anyone then who cares. If it turns you on then enjoy it. If it makes you feel like your true self then enjoy it. Do not let anyone make you feel that you are not man enough, cross dresser enough, woman enough, or trans enough. Just because someone went to advanced schooling and gets to hang an alphabet in front of their name does not give anyone the right to invalidate YOUR feelings.
YMMV,
Rachel
Um - no?
When I look in the mirror, or at photos of myself, I seem to only be able to see all the "fails" - the things that still say that under it all, there is still a male body there.
So no, I don't ever think anything like "she looks hot. I'd like to be with her"
But - I have learned that when fully en-femme, I do feel more sexual (or sensual) than when in drab. That's a dead end though. My SO isn't even remotely interested in going there!
Hey, who can blame her? I do like women, and I wouldn't be interested in me either!
Rachel,
I do feel we reach a point when labels need to be placed back in their boxes and put to one side . Like you I searched and searched for reasons and explanations to make sense of my gender issues , I agree even if the cap fits at some point you just have to say OK that's me and get on with life . No point in arguing the point as we are all different , what makes me tick may not apply to others , who can say what is right and what is wrong .
When i look in the mirror I am more likely to scare myself. :heehee:
Sara
Julie, Maybe if I lost 40 pounds. When I was younger I did like looking at myself in lingerie in the mirror. But that is no longer the case.
I am. And just thinking about being dressed and pretty can turn me on. The first time I wore a nice tight dress, teased my hair, put on makeup and jewelry and looked in the mirror, I gasped with glee at how hot I looked.
I fall into some degree of the AGP group. I know it's hard for some to understand that phenomena, but for a few of us it is real.
Constantly.
I've been out and about en femme shopping and such. Occasionally, I see a cute chick out of the corner of my eye. Other times, I practically run full on into a cute chick. Occasionally, that "cute chick" is a reflection of me in a mirror. I'll say that qualifies.
So beautifully said, Rachel. It brought tears to my eyes!:cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by CD Rachel
Reminding me of when I first arrived here those many years ago. And, I naively assumed EVERYONE was turned on by their own image. But, denial was a big thing back then. And, I was demolished by many members!:eek:
It's so nice that dressers accept threads like this now!:thumbsup:
Doc Sherry,
I am surprised, well maybe not that much, that you were attacked by members here back then. The vast majority here now are very kind. There was that one mod a few years ago...
Self-acceptance, along with acceptance of others, takes time within this safe little forum, just as it does in the big, outside, cruel world.
Julie
I'll say that I frequently LIKE what I see in the mirror but I can't say as I'm "turned on" by it.
I would say im very much the same as Lux (thanks for posting this) except that i dont go out clubbing, but the description matches how i feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux
I realise now that when im dressed i always seem to be walking past the mirror and sneaking a look at myself.
Very satisfying to see the way i look.
Im hetero and i wouldnt dream of transitioning, but i get a real enjoyment from dressing, and it makes me relax and feel (at the time) comfortable.
So, yes, i turn myself on. Eventually, not immediately.
Never my intent, but often an ancillary result. I just think that means you feel pretty and feminine. So yes, and think it is a fun extra benefit to an already remarkable experience
Never, I see myself as a man and not a very good looking one at that,
I am totally disgusted by my pictures.
Dressed enfemme, I can tolerate the look, The pictures are ok, but that is all.