In the beginning of 2020 I read a lot on Blanchards theory of Autogynephilia. I was trying to find the label to explain my behaviors. I read the book Men trapped in men's bodies written by Dr. Anne Lawrence psychologist, sexologist, anesthesiologist and a trans woman. I found a lot of similarities to myself in the theory. But, I feel that Dr. Lawrence and Blanchard mistook the tree for the forest. But I also feel that many who discount the theory do so for two reasons the first being that the theory may not check off all of their own particular boxes and the fact that the theory runs counter to the accepted belief that there are only trans women and perverts.
My personal conclusion from the research that i did is I feel that I am a bisexual cross dresser on the non-binary scale closer to the trans female side then to androgynous center. So when the transgender box did not totally fit I tried labeling my self as Autogynephilic, but that box did not fit me either. But anyway, yes there have been a few occasions that I had seen a picture of my self or seen myself in a mirror and felt some arousal at seeing myself as a woman. I think that someday I will want to transition but I am still holding back on committing to it.
Either way if you are not harming anyone then who cares. If it turns you on then enjoy it. If it makes you feel like your true self then enjoy it. Do not let anyone make you feel that you are not man enough, cross dresser enough, woman enough, or trans enough. Just because someone went to advanced schooling and gets to hang an alphabet in front of their name does not give anyone the right to invalidate YOUR feelings.
YMMV,
Rachel
