Interesting attention

I posted a few a thread a few months ago about how a guy saw me running on a bike path wearing very short tight shorts. He stopped and talked to me and I was flattered but confused since nothing like this had happed to me before. Well the other day I took a barre class at a local gym, wearing a pair of tie dyed leggings. After the class I went into the main gym for a few minutes of aerobic exercise. A guy came up to me and began making small talk. My first instinct was to acknowledge him and leave after some small talk. Instead we began talking about working out and various techniques. Machines vs free weights etc. After about 10 minutes I really did have to leave. He said "well see you around" I responded likewise. I must admit I was flattered by the attention. This is the second time it has happened. I'm just wondering if I give off a certain vibe. Obviously wearing leggings is once sign lol.

It is a part of using certain forms of expression in the way of clothing. It sends messages or vibes that very roughly indicate what kind of person you are. I have found similar things when I wear something that sends out messages that I lean toward the feminine. Some men as well as some women show an unusual amount of "curiosity." It is like they want to find out more. My mask is definitely feminine and it is all it takes to create these kinds of reactions is some people I pass in the grocery store. You can see it in their eyes as they look at you. "There must be some reason this guy is wearing a mask with flowers and feminine colors all over it. Hmm. Interesting?" Unlike you I have never had a conversation as a result of it, but then I am 75 going on 76. You are obviously much younger and nice and slender. Enjoy the attention, but please be cautious. They may also be up to nogood.

If I were to guess, I would say that the guy is gay and he is trying to hit on you. That's your business of course, but keep this in mind.

A lot of women do dress to attract men so you should be flattered.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

If I were to guess, I would say that the guy is gay and he is trying to hit on you. That's your business of course, but keep this in mind.

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That's the first thing that popped into my mind. Sometimes clothes send a message that solicit a response. I always wear a baseball cap with my infantry units insignia on it. Another vet or myself will start up a conversation because of the obvious commonality the baseball caps presents. Obviously a gym is not a typical pickup joint, but, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

If I were to guess, I would say that the guy is gay and he is trying to hit on you. That's your business of course, but keep this in mind.

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I agree, there are a lot of men curious and/or into crossdressers and trans women. I think the word chasers would fit those types. Not that it is wrong or anything, if that is their thing I don?t have a problem with it. I?ve been around the block a time or two, experienced livery in foreign ports, been in strip clubs and that sort of thing in my younger days. I think what we should keep in mind is that most men are going to take a run at what they perceive as an opportunity when given the chance. I think that anyone getting out in public dressed is going to experience that at some point. We run the full spectrum from some of us giving it a try to those who are appalled by it. Women are conditioned to deal with that their whole life whereas I sense that some of us are oblivious to it until it happens.

Some people, including me, get a frisson when we see ourselves in others, especially if it is a rare occurrence, or taboo/hidden in most of society.

Julie

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Originally Posted by Krisi

If I were to guess, I would say that the guy is gay and he is trying to hit on you. That's your business of course, but keep this in mind.

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There's always that possibility, but to assume that from the distance we're all at is premature. I'm not gay and have seen very few cd's out in the wild. Even before I began dressing in my middle fifties, when I saw another male in feminine styles, I looked at them with some admiration and jealousy for his/her courage and determination. I haven't had a chance meeting that was close enough for a one-on-one conversation, but I could see it being a chance to show comfort and acceptance without sexual undertones.

As a young man, right up through my twenties and into my thirties, I have been approached a few times by men who were fairly obviously gay. I was presenting solely as a male and apparently put out a vibe that I might be receptive. If the approach left room for a man to man talk and not a gay-man to gay-man talk, I never minded obliging. I've never felt any tendency to consider intimacy with any man, but that doesn't preclude a casual conversation about whatever subject might come up.

I'm sure my wife would have made the same assumptions about the guys gayness. That's one of the problems married crossdressers have to work through in the best cases. It's odd to have assumptions made here on a forum where so many heterosexual men, who happen to explore a broader style, hang out.

I'm amazed at how many here are jumping to the conclusion that the guy probably is gay. To be honest I find this to be insulting to Angela, and to transwomen in general.

If anyone took the time to look at some of the previous posts that Angela has made, she has been told often that she is passable. She has said that this has been said to her from her wife and from friends. So if she is passable, then why would a gay man hit on her? It seems to me that a gay man is looking for a man, not a woman. To me, if you are assuming that he is gay and hitting on her says that you think Angela is coming across as a man, not as a woman. Insulting don't you think?

Maybe he's just a friendly person that enjoys interacting with other people. If he is hitting on her, what difference does it make if he is gay, bi, straight, or even a chaser. Why can't we just accept that someone found Angela attractive/interesting and leave it at that? Why are we so quick to label someone that we have never met?

This past Saturday I was in a cafe just enjoying a coffee on my own. This guy stops by my table and starts talking about my ring (everyone does, best $10 I ever spent!). Mentioned his wife only likes diamonds, would like to buy her something more colourful like mine. I took him to be a member of the tribe and in no way was he chatting me up. When I DO get chatted up I know it! My vibe that day was a polka dot skirt, white blouse and fitted, red leather jacket. The rest of the city was wearing black so it is not too hard to have your own thing going on.

I guess in the case of the original post, you would know for sure by the second interaction.

They are closeted cross dressers and were probably looking at you as a roll model!! Or wanted to know what you were wearing...

I certainly would take it as a complement . I guess I would ask how well do you pass are you obviously a cross dresser and look very masculine when dressed? Maybe the guys are dawn to masculine looking women. Or maybe just accepting you for who you are and just making conversation. The other answer would be you were partly read and they were trying to confirm or as it has been said they are one of us.

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Originally Posted by Stephanie47

Obviously a gym is not a typical pickup joint, but, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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While I have no experience with this, I would have imagined a gym was a prime pickup point. All that "body" stuff going on, y'know?

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Originally Posted by Paula DAngelo

...if she is passable, then why would a gay man hit on her? It seems to me that a gay man is looking for a man, not a woman. To me, if you are assuming that he is gay and hitting on her says that you think Angela is coming across as a man, not as a woman. Insulting don't you think?

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I'll grant that people do often jump to the conclusion that a man is gay based on the wrong kind of evidence, but this incident was at least suggestive. Even if the guy is gay, I would never dream of reading an "insult" to Angela into the attention he gave her. Gay men after all can be very much into "beauty" in various forms, and it doesn't have to be musclebound masculinity. There is for instance the homoerotic ideal of the slender, "beautiful boy." (Think "Death in Venice"--an old movie but still a classic.) Then again, this guy could be "bi." And a surprising number of men are attracted to crossdressers, as people here point out. I don't get it myself, but I wonder if these men are really "bi" and it's a way for them to enjoy sex with both sexes at the same time, in their imagination at least. Anyway attention means appreciation, no matter who it comes from.

[QUOTE=Lori Ann Westlake;4513453Even if the guy is gay, I would never dream of reading an "insult" to Angela into the attention he gave her. [/QUOTE]

I was not meaning that the man was insulting Angela in any way, I don't think his actions were insulting at all. I was saying the people here making that assumption were the ones that may have inadvertently been insulting her by implying that she looked manly with the assumption that he may have been gay.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

If I were to guess, I would say that the guy is gay and he is trying to hit on you. That's your business of course, but keep this in mind.

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This is possible but unlikely. There is a VERY strong bias in the gay community against crossdressers and drag queens.

Maybe the person was just being friendly. I am often talking to people I do not know. I can walk up and start a conversation with anybody.

As I read (and re-read) the original post, it does not appear that she was presenting as a woman, just that she was wearing some feminine looking clothing. This is why I suggested that the guy might be gay and trying to hit on her.

If my comment offended anyone, that was not my intention, but I'm not going to apologize for it. I call them as I see them.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

As I read (and re-read) the original post, it does not appear that she was presenting as a woman, just that she was wearing some feminine looking clothing. This is why I suggested that the guy might be gay and trying to hit on her.

If my comment offended anyone, that was not my intention, but I'm not going to apologize for it. I call them as I see them.

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Yes you are correct. I was not presenting as a woman. I should have been more clear. As for being offended? Not in the least. I find the comments on this board very insightful.

Angela, I have a special, patented method of finding out precisely what people mean when they say something. Or, what they may want?:daydreaming:

I ask them!:eek:

It may be that the guy has noticed you are new at the local gym and is just being friendly.

There will be a lot of messages in his body language that we don't know.


I would await further updates.

Take the flattery as it comes, do not overthink it and see what is discussed if you meet the same person again.

One time meetings are usually a curiosity dampener.

It is the repeat chance meetings that you need to evaluate.

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Originally Posted by Angela1954

I was not presenting as a woman. I should have been more clear.

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That was my assumption too. You were wearing leggings, yes. But you said nothing about a bra! Hence, male--just with a suggestion of a feminine touch.

Hi Angela :hugs:, That was an interesting turn of events , Keep us advised, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

Angela,
Thanks for making that point clear , I agree with others it's not a good assumption to suggest the guy was gay but then that raises the question of what is the problem if he was .

You say you were flattered but was that that because he was chatting to you as a man or a woman ? I guess we should also give him the benifit of the doubt and just say he was a naturally friendly guy .

I admit I am a bit of a flirt at times and will have fun with people when chatting , that goes for either gender . I've also had the situation where I have been followed around supermarkets , on one occassion a wife had to return to fetch her husband because he was spending too much time checking me out rather than the items on the shelves .

Sometimes a friendly guy is just a friendly guy. SMH.

I would love for someone to talk to me when I have make up on.

Tiger....,
It takes a little getting use to , I find they either won't make eye contact or they smile far more , I think both my doctor and my dentist must like blonds because neither of them used to smile like they do now I see them as Teresa .