My So was very open to my cding until our children started figuring things out. Now we don't talk about it much. i would like us to share my cding , but I know not to push. I was just curious on how many of you girls have SO that encourage or enjoy your cding. God bless all who have SO's that can .
Sarah
My wife has known for a long time 34 yrs but was in denial
5 yrs ago we came to an understanding and it has been great since
she shops for me (picks things out and says go try it on (giggle))
she has just started going out with me recently and is having fun with the gurls
huggs Maddie
My SO (GlitterGG) knows and is very supportive. I know there are a number of other threads asking for advice on how to encourage your SO to participate. Check through the archives and you may find some ideas there. Of course, you could ask some of the SOs here directly as well. ;)
Kandis:love:
Known for eight years and even to think about it horrifes her.
My wife supports and participates......but it wasn't always like that. It has been a long journey to get where we are today
Hi Girls, My wife has known about Kaitlin from the first week we started dating. (4 + years now) She has been very supportive and plays a big part in my dressing. Every time we go shopping she is always looking for clothes, shoes and things for the three of us. Just the other day we were at wally world and in the shoe dept. I walked by the mirror, we were wearing our matching crocks (clogs), and I was shocked to see how well you could see my red toe nails! I asked her if she knew this and she said "yes, so what if anyone does see,I dont care if you dont." I just love her so much !!! My wife is the best there is!!! Kaitlin
I'm one of the lucky ones. My wife is totally accepting and encouraging. She taught me about makeup and wig care, goes shopping with me, gives me girly gifts once in a while, isn't bothered when I come to the breakfast table in bra and panties.
Out shopping last weekend, she caught me eyeing up the lingerie department, and playfully offered to buy me anything I dared to try on. Had the store been less crowded, I would have taken her up on it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vickie64
Vickie64:
Can you share some of the highs and lows of your journey? Do you have any advice to offer?
Hugs,
Kelsie
SO encourages, and helps me dress at times... Every now and then she'll help with full makeup, etc.. She also 'drives' when we go for 'rides'..
We've gone 'girl' shopping together, tho' its still 'under male clothes' for now... :happy:
I let her know prior to our marriage that I enjoyed CD'ing and showed her my closet! She said "Oh, I was worried your hobby was something odd"! :D
Gotta' go have her pick out my panties to wear for the day...:hugs:
I'm SO lucky in that my S.O. totally supports and accepts Nikki..but we have worked hard to get there over the last 5 years or so. We go out together..as Nikki..which is great when you want to do some real girly shopping.!!LOL..We don't have the "problem" of children so that makes it easier for us of course. My S.O. sees me as Nikki so much now that it seems quite normal...but there were times when I didn't think we could get to where we are today...keep the faith.!!!..it can happen.
Nikki. x
My wife loves me dressing....and always encouraged it. If i remember rightly
it was her that started it all in the first place.....DeDe.
[SIZE="3"]My wife loves that I dress, it was "her" idea you know!(wink wink)[/SIZE]
Mines know for 2 weeks, and her first thought on seeing me was never, she wouldn't know whether she'd laugh or throw up
Tolerance extended to wanting to know wether I'd dress full time once the kids left home and if so I might as well pack my bags now and making sure when we went to a fancy dress party I had to wear the most blokish thing she could find in the theme :(
I think when tolerance just extends to I haven't divorced you yet, asking her to share in it would be a big no no
My wife of three years fully supports my CD needs, and encourges me to dress as often as possible. In fact, when I recently went to a local gender therapist, to get some idea's on what I am, and where I want to go with Lisa, she went with me. My gender therapist's husband, who is also a therapist, is a lifelong crossdresser, and she says she, and her husband, have a wonderfull time living lives as either husband & wife, or as two girlfriends. A supporting spouse, can make a huge difference in how you deal with your crossdressing needs. I feel very lucky to have one...
I am one of the lucky girls, my does support me. She's not really into being there with me, yet (its only been 6 monsth), but she has been aweosme with suggestions and tips, like eyeliner remover (see my posts).
Could not be me with out her.
Hugs.,
We've moved a little beyond 'I haven't divorced you yet' but not much. I think that all i can do is love her unconditionally and hope that she becomes more tolerantQuote:
Originally Posted by loki_uk
Mitch
Me!!
I told my wife to be about my other self before we married. She asked me to show her so I dressed and she laughed, but also understood. Eighteen years and counting now.
my wife has gone from not if i am home,to buying my things, doing my nails and letting me sleep in nities and letting me grow my breasts larger like i said lucky me!
My wife accepts me for who I am. :love: It has not been easy. It has taken a lot of talking, compromises, acceptance of each others feelings & most important honesty & being open & accepting of how each other feels about each individual situation. I listen to my wife & accept her feelings as how she feels it is not a personal attack on me or my dressing it is just how she feels.
As the other gurls have already said, it takes a long time to get to a good balance within your marraige and responsiblities. My wife knew even before we were engaged so that has made things infinitely easier! Girls.....tell them as soon as you can work up the courage, you can't hide such a big piece of yourself from your soul mate!
Within the last few years we have gotten active in going out together as girls. We shop and take occasional 3 or 4 day vacations as 2 girl friends and have a ball. She has helped me learn about colors and piecing together outfits from separates. She used to find all my best outfits when we were shopping. Now that's down to about 50% because I'm getting much better at selecting items.
I know I'm one of the luckiest girls in the world! (and I let her know it too!)
[SIZE=3]I'm not currently in a relationship but when I was I was very supportive. I loved buying clothes and makeup and helping my SO get dressed and going out together. We had lots of fun! I was sorry it ended. :hugs: CG GG[/SIZE]
Mines known for about 8yrs , but due to the fact I dressed in secret , she never pushed me for the truth - just thought it was a private fantasy moment of mine . In all , I couldnt hide the fact much longer (traces of make up , panda eyes ect ) ,and I felt it was an insult to her inteligence , I also felt so guilty hiding a secret it had to come out . Thankfully she supported me fully . But , there has been times its been very hard . I,d avise anyone whose about to come clean to go slowly , carefully and communicate fully , listen without interupting on this matter. Be honest and open The most important thing of all is dont let her catch you - its the road to ruin. And , after coming out , if you,d like to present yourself dressed for the first time , ask her permission dont assume she,ll accept it openly - for me I asked my wife to give me feedback on my looks -it seemed to be the best way to break the ice . First time mine saw me dressed , it took 45 mins to get ready , but after she viewed me I immediately went upstairs and took the lot off , returning to inquire how she felt , and di I horrify her , or look silly . I even asked if she,d prefer it for me to find time out of sight , alone in future .
The reply was a surprise . She told me she,d never realised just how far I,d gone to pass ....and pass I did..........I could have cried.
That was over a year ago now , my wife accepts me for all my faults , supports me , helps me dress , and make up - even dieting to attain a slimmer figure . She,s even pinching one or two of my dresses.
Its sooo much better out in the open now , we sit together , watch tv , have a drink and a giggle - shes even taken to calling me big bird ...lol .
Thank goodness she understands .....and even more so - thank goodness shes my wife I,m lucky.
Mine has known for about 8 months now and she supports me 100%. She gives me advice and we have girl time quite a bit. She often tells me that Kaylee has helped her out as much as she has helped out Kaylee. That statement made me feel good.
:love:
Kaylee
My wife does not participate in my dressing. I wouldn't want her to. I can dress myself, thank you. I am not three years old, after all. I don't participate in her dressing. She can dress herself also.
Does she know? Of course. She sees me every day, and this is the way I dress. Pretty much all the time.
She doesn't participate in my shopping either. I know how to shop, too. Wow. Am I a grownup? Yup!
Stephenie
My wife helps me out. She recently bought me new bras and a new babydoll nightie from VS. I am so excited. I can't wait for it to get here. She let's me dress up like a girl 4 nights each week and sleep in panties every night.
I've actually had someone email me once and tell me that my marriage/relationship with my wife Marla GG is legendary in the cding community. Well I don't know about that :eek: .... but my wife is extremely supportive of my crossdresing because she likes to see me wearing women's clothes because she likes feminine men (me in particular). She looked to date a crossdresser before she met me and has told me several times that she could never be with a "regular guy" ever again.
My current s/o has know from the start, although it was a learning process for her, you know, books and what not off the net. She said she was facinated with it at first and came to like it. She helps me when ever she can. She buys things for me when I'm least exspecting it and she knows it thrills me. I don't dress all the time but when I do she is very complimenting. I'm sure it is 50 % courtesy to make me feel some what at ease in front of her. She love to share my jewerly and wears some of it to work. She also likes to wear some of clothing. She knows I like to see herin it. I always tell her things like " how come you always seem to look better then I do when you wear this". She also like to hear me share my deepest feeling with her.
She is truly one special woman in my life.
I had one that helped me out the front door. But It really horked out great for me
Michelle liz
I started a thread a week or so ago about my wife's first time participating in my dressing, and really trying to accept (though it's still a bit of a challenge for her). Hopefully this acceptance thingy will continue and grow. :c9:
i have been married 32 years she has known for 31 she hates it we don,t talk about it but she is my best friendQuote:
Originally Posted by sparks
jackie
Whoah Maddie,Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie
We have lots in common... I told my wife 36 years ago, just two years after our wedding. I didn't tel her before because I wrongly assumed that my CDing would go away with regular sex ativities...
My wife at first thought that it was simply some sort of fetishism. But when she realised the it was more than that, she went into denial and refused to talk about the subject.
Lately, I have changed my attitude and become more self acceptong. She has of course noticed. At first she wasn't too happy. But recently, she has slightly been more oen minded towards it. The fact that now our two children and their SOs are informed about my X-Dressing made her feel less nervous that they might discover it...
Just last week, I had a serious health incident... I passed away while going to a meeting in Brussels (I live in Nice...) I was sent to an hospital. On the evening my wife was waiting for me at the airport. When I didn't turn out she started to panick... She imagined that I could have been assaulted while going out "en femme" as she knows I do when I am in Brussels. She called the police in Brussels asking them about assaults, even mentionning that I might have been dressed "en femme"...
This really surprised me as so far she had been quite modest on this subject.
I feel that she has come a long way... And I can understand that it wasn't easy for her.
She isn't yet shopping with me or for me... But she accepts that I shop and have my closet full of women clothes... She just complains a little that I spend so much on skirts and blouses... :heehee:
All the best for you and your wife.
:hugs:
Eugenie
my wife had an idea i might be a crossdresser before we got married . she mentioned dressing me up one night .then about painting my toe nails . and when she did my nails i told her . she really wasn't shocked instead she was very helpfull . she buy's me clothes and has helped with makeup . we have been out twice and we had fun . i guess i am one lucky guy and i let her know it .
I told my wife, Kerry, before we even started dating and she is very accepting and helpful. In her own words; "There are a lot of worse things that a man can do".
My wife knows all about my dressing and is growing more and more accepting every day.
We do go shopping sometimes, we will pick out lingerie together. Then we go dress shopping for her. She always gets nice desses that I only wish that I could get matching ones. But she is not ready for that. I can't really blame her. A woman thinking about her husband in a dress, I would think that would be kinda disturbing. I must say that we both really do enjoy our shopping trips.
My wife is very involved in my cding. She buys more outfits for me than herself.
Since I came out to my wife things have only gotten better with us, something about 100% honesty and trust does that is guess:D
Any way since our fledgling has left the nest I can and do pretty much dress as often as I want and she always flits around me and especially loves using her makeup on me...
Seems she now enjoys the company of a girl friend and a husband...
My SO knows about my "hobby". She wants nothing to do with it. I can only dress when she is not around. Maybe some day she will come to the concussion its not that big of a deal if I like to dress as a women.
I look forward to that day too Pat,Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat
Mitch
My wife knows about my CDing since about 25 years. She had to get used to it ofcourse but she's very supportive and understanding and actually likes it when Laura enters the bedroom ;o) There are sides of me she definitely likes better in fem-mode than in guy-mode. We go shopping together like (I think) two girlfriends, she uses my makeup and we wear eachothers clothes. I'm happy with that.
my wife knew well before we were married.she is very
supportive.many things that happened in her life makes
her feel very secure with karen.
hug,karen...
My wife caught me about 7 years ago. Hates that I CD. Got me to go to male sexual problems counseling. Refuses to discuss cd. Wants me to throw out most of my wardrobe. There is no way I am parting with 20 pair of high heels.
However recently she has mellowed slightly. Did not insist on purging all my girlie clothes--just most of them. She did not discard the dresses she found in the back of my closet.
"I married a man--the thought of you wearing a dress turns me off! "
I would not say my SO "encourages" or "enjoys" my Cd'ing but she is there when I need her in any aspect of my Cd;ing. We shop together & she supports me in my other life as a CD'er. I can do pretty much anything I want & when ever I want without having to ask her. This takes out the stress & worries & makes it a normal part of my life.Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah378619
Hi all! This is my first post!
Even as a supportive SO I think I'd find it more difficult when my partners CDing may have an impact on others particuarly children.
We don't have children but I can imagine that although I'm very accepting, I would want to establish ground rules when it came to what the children or told or not told. I'm sure there are parents out there who can provide advice on how and what to tell children.
You said that you know not to push and I think you are right with this but don't sweep it under the carpet. I really appreciate the patience my boyfriend showed me as although ultimately there may be acceptance the path to it can be long and hard.
My partner didn't make his CDing all about him - he always thought about how it affected me too and this really really helped. He was always supportive and understanding about how I was feeling and didn't just expect me to be of him.
It shouldn't be a one way street and before we went shopping for him, we went shopping for me. A new outfit for him usually means one for me too so you don't get complaints from either of us!!
If you give her what she needs then you've got more chance of getting what you need too. CDing shouldn't just be on your terms you need to discuss and agree jointly as it affects both of you.
Good luck!
ps I would suggest you look for acceptance and support as I think it is rare to find a SO who 'enjoys' it as such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaitlin
I'd place my wife and me with Kaitlin and Karen. I told my wife about my dressing while we were dating -- I guess the best way to put it is that as soon as I saw we were getting what I call "marriage serious," I told her!!! I eased her into it and all went great!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Nylonkaren
Our marriage was the second marriage for both of us -- we both had, respectively, been married to our first spouses for 24 years each. Basically, my wife knew practically nothing about "mtf heterosexual crossdressing." In fact, about the only thing she knew about crossdressing of any kind was from the entertainment sector where CDing was part of a (usually comedic) plot (Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, Victor Victoria, Connie and Carla, Ed Wood, To Wong Foo).
I'm one of the lucky ones, too, without ANY doubt!!!!!!! My wife and I met over the internet and dated "long distance," -- huge phone bills, long emails, and 4-to-5 years worth of miles on the car in just a year!!! Once I felt we were heading into a "marriage serious" direction, I playfully emailed her that I loved the feeling of silky against silky. Well, long story short, she basically wanted to know what I meant, and I told her that I loved the feeling of "silk against silk," and "nylon against nylon," and "satin against satin." I gulped and went on to factually tell her that I thought it would be quite sexy for us to both wear nightgowns, panties and thigh highs to bed. I told her I loved the feel, for example, of "silky legs against silky legs." Her response was she guessed we could try it. Not a bad attitude for a neophyte, huh?!!! The next weekend we did dinner and shopping, then to a hotel suite where I had prepared a romantic setting with flowers, candles, soft music, and a bottle of champagne chilling! The first time she saw me dressed -- we had gone to Macy's and bought matching nighties, thigh highs, panties, and even decided it would be fun to wear maching MMFMP shoes -- her first comment was that it took a real man to show this side of himself to another!!! It was great!!!!!!! That was quite an evening, and from there, I proceeded to tell her (at her desired pace) my life history as a crossdresser, and my feelings of having a "second self." She had some of the usual questions so many of us have heard, but from having virtually no knowledge of crossdressing, she quickly became a defender of CDing (and the unfairness of what GG's can wear sans comment and attitudes that such is perfectly acceptable for a GG). The thing that struck me the most was her quick realization that much of what she was growing to love about me was an obvious extension of my feminine side!Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane1950
(When we were engaged, I still took it slowly so as to not overwhelm her -- IMHO, regardless of what one says, you've got to pace things when its all new!!!)
Of course I can shop for myself. And, my wife can shop for herself. That said, it is really nice when we buy each other a gift of feminine clothing from time-to-time -- it doesn't mean either of us doesn't know how to shop for themselves, just a sign that we care for each other enough to want to do things to make the other happy. Just last week my wife found a top that she knew would go great with a skirt I had recently purchased and she bought the top and gave it to me -- a clear sign of acceptance and encouragement in my book!!! IMHO, you've got to be selfless and caring -- and that, in turn, will reap incredible dividends above and beyond what "not being so" would or wouldn't produce.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephenie S
In fact, I am so appreciative of my wife -- for her acceptance, encouragement, and participation -- that I often find it is wise -- extremely wise -- to buy my wife two outfits for every one I buy for myself!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillm
It is so very heartwarming to see so many who have SO's that encourage and participate! I however am not one of those lucky ones. We don't discuss it, I dress even less than before because of time issues and few opportunities, and generally remain frustrated. I am happy for those who have a relationship in which there is actual communication about imporant topics rather than unsaid non-acceptance. If it wasn't for this, I believe that my SO would be wonderful. She is smart, witty, beautiful and insightful. I can only think that the CD thing is so terrifying to her that it is on the banned subject list.
My wife of 36 years has always known. At first she felt insecure, but, for many years now she has actively participated. She goes with me to purchase my clothing and to give me her opinion on what looks good. And God help the sales person that looks at me funny. She and I feel very confortable with each other. She likes to play the male (Robin) to my "Ari".
I'm a GG and support my husband completely. It did however took a while for me to accept it. Not the dressing itself, but I was really naive on the CD's area. I though back than, if you liked to dress,you automatically wanted a sex change. Never understanding the "other"side of it all.
My husband is very comfortable as a man and a husband. Of course he's gorgeous as a woman or as a man..........some people got all the luck!!!LOL. It took a few years to get where we're at now. He's still a bit insecure thinking that I accept it just cause he wants me too, but I wouldn't and couldn't possibly do something I didn't agree with. It's just not me. I realized I was wrong and became supportive and our relationship grew. How do you know until you give it a try. I love the side of Angelina; soft, talkative, open minded,kinky, gentle. For him it's more of a fetish, so we experiment and play together. I'm more of the dominant one in the relationship :) :dom: Of course I'm a beginner in this area, but I'm willing to learn. Just hope he will be patient enough to learn with me.
We all have to try before knowing if it's our cup of tea. It's my cup of tea, I enjoy the control I get and the buzz I get from being in control. He thinks I'm just doing it to please him! But the truth is I get cranky when I can't dominate for a while. It gets my frustrations out!!!LOL. Maybe I should go professional: now there's one way of getting experience fast :tongueout
I'm a supportive SO it took me a while and some hurt to get where I am today but with a lot of talking and give and take on both sides we got there, where is there? Her living 24/7 as a woman and me by her side.
My only wife thought I must be gay because I enjoyed dressing. She was not open to it at all. Currently dating someone very special and am going to tell. Hope she stays and supports.