Have you been reluctant to join a face-to-face group?

Wonder how many of you have also been reluctant to join a face-to-face group? I know there is a group where I live, and indeed the sex therapist I went to recommended it. But joining it proved difficult, and there seemed to be some sort of reluctance on the group's part to accept me, (the meeting place was kept a private secret). Eventually, my own reluctance started up, and I realized that I would not likely be comfortable in a face-to-face group.
Luckily I found this site much later, and it seems better to participate on-line than in person.
What have your experiences been with face-to-face groups?

Personally I have never joined one but am thinking about doing it. I am very curious about them as I have heard some very positive comments on them. Recently I visited the Tri-Ess website and requested membership information. I don't feel that I am ready for that just yet but maybe in the future. Going to one of these groups for the first time would be easier with a friend.

It's a no for me :(
At least for now, i don't know about this is my town.
But who knows, maybe i will give it a spin :)

In my Tri-Ess Group We keep the meeting site concealed from people UNTIL they go through a screening interview and sign certain papers that will hold them responsible if they should ever decide to go crazy and "out" other members. I've never seen it happen, and I think it's pretty rare, but it's a safety measure.

If you joined a group, it would be for your protection too. Keeping a member's privacy is very important in Tri-Ess Groups. Many members decide to go more public on their own, but the protections are always in place.

I can't speak for all support groups, but a lot of groups have some sort of apparatus like this. I am reasonably sure that's what your prospective group is trying to accomplish. I don't think they were trying to be exclusive or exclude you, just want to make sure people are protected.

Peace and Love, Joanie

My local support group have been fantastic to me. I'd even go as far to saying that they gave me the confidence to go out and about as Gemma.

I've not been for a few months due to ill health but i'm planning a return visit in June. They re a very friendly set of girls and always like to make newcomers welcome.

i attended a support group meeting back in 01 as a gesture to my so at the time. although i was extremely nervous and did not dress except for the hose i was wearing under my drab clothes, i did feel i would go back, and dress as well. the group was very easy going and friendly, and no pressure was brought to bear about anything. but soon after that meeting, things happened and i placed other priorities in front of the group i wanted to see again. and then, yet another change happened, and visiting those with similar interests became a lost item. but then, last year, i stumbled onto their website somehow, and im not sure if it was guilt or just wanting to attend a meeting again, i made contact, they contacted me back, we talked, and i recieved instructions to the meeting place. long story short, i have been very scared to show this side of myself, as well as my work schedule has seemed to interfere with my attending, but the kicker was this past saturday night. a special event that only happened once before, an evening at a salon where we ts/tg/ cds could get the help from professionals on a personal basis. i live about 1 1/2 hours away, and cleaned up, underdressed, packed 3 outfits, and headed out for my first night out. and then all went wrong. i took a wrong turn at first, overcorrected and missed my best turnaround, then somehow found myself an hour away at the time they said the night would probably end there, and move on to a club. i found my way home and with tears in my eyes, i questioned if i am meant to live this lifestyle. its tuesday morning now, and having dwelled on this night the last 2 nights, i will go again, and not just to a special event such as sat night, but to a meeting. just so i can express myself with others like me. i need it, just as im sure quite a few others out there feel the same way. i know my fears have kept me back, and then having bad directional sense sat night, im not gonna dwel on any of that, im just gonna go forward, and i know ill be happier for that.
:love:

Hey Beth,
The best thing that ever happened to me in my long long CD life was joining a support group called
"The Diablo Valley Girls" (DVG) we meet informally every 1st and 3rd Monday at a Gay Bar
and go out to dinner every 5th Monday, we also have 2 or three BBQs every year. Membership is about 90.
This group has become a very important part of my life and I urge anyone of you serious CrossDressers
to seek out simular groups. (there are a lot of them out there)
If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, PM me if you need some recommendations or more information.

Paula Rae

I think you have to find THE group that you feel comfortable in. A friend of mine a few years back visited prob 4 before finding the one . She has to drive a few towns away but feels it is worth it and she is now the secretary for the group.

I belong to Tri-Ess here in Dallas, TX. It has been a real asset to me. It has allowed me to meet other CDers and has really helped me in my presentation and such. Like others, they have a screening processes, which is good. The only hard press rule they insist on, is if your married, your wife has to know about you. This rule is in the Spirit of National Charter. It is one of the reasons I finially told my wife last year, because I want to join so badly. 2-3 weeks ago when my wife finially saw me fully dressed, we had a long long talk. I also called some of my Tri-Ess sisters and talke to them about what happen. They all gave me guidance as to how and where to go from that point on. When I went to the May meeting and I told them what had happen up to that time, all of the members were thrilled for me.
Their support along with support from sister on this site and a couple of others have helped me with my ongoing relationship with my wife over my CDing.

Went too one and they really were not very friendly. The GG host and my friend who invited me were the only friendly faces there. Not much fun to be with a buch of GMs, just sitting around in dresses and skirts all evening. But I'm undaunted. I will try again given the right group. :thumbsup:

I think it depends on your personality, what you expect out of a group, and what you can contribute to that group. Some people are more "group friendly" than others.

For my part, I don't like groups because I'm very picky about the people with whom I associate. I'm quite judgemental, and get easily bored.

Still, I can well see that for some people (most people?), groups can be a means to have a good time and feel a sense of belonging.

I have considered joining a group, but im not really sure what to expect and i,m quite shy in real life:o [despite the way i sometimes appear here].

Nope, when I joined my former group I jumped right in. I came to know most of the members both in and out of femme. I thought it was great to be flexible like that.:)

About groups having a screening process and this being something I might not have been aware of: No, though that was the reason they gave, but several times they did not reply to my emails, the whole thing dragged on for months, and in the end, they did not want to interview me over the phone which was their stated procedure. I think I must have said something in the emails that made a bad impression.
Eventually they invited me to a discussion group, rather than any of their socials, but it was the occasional social that i was really interested in attending. By then I had other problems and could not go at the time, and since have thought better of the whole idea. Eventually I wondered if I belonged there anyway, and if a group experience was for me at all.
I have been pondering at times getting more counseling and other help, but it is expensive and hard to find the right kind. i did talk to one person, (MTF), who confirmed my fears that you are likely to get the sort of answer that the counselor specializes in giving according to their world view, so it is all determined by selecting a counsellor.
These days I have been thinking of giving it up, but I am torn. Perhaps that was their problem with me, that they did not want someone who was ambivalent amongst them. Now, it is all water under the bridge, and I do not consider going to a face-to-face group a viable or desirable option anymore. I think the window of psychological opportunity to join a group has come and gone. I tried to approach the priest at the church to talk about it, but that led nowhere useful, though the conversation was friendly enough. It was just one-sided, with me making up all the things to say.
As for the matter of choice, there is not much to choose from here. There are only two groups in town, and the other is limited and more for transsexuals or those transitioning fully. So it is not as if I have a lot of options. But I would like to meet others socially, one on one, in a safe environment, just not in the kind of group that we have been referring to. Going to a group alone would make me very nervous now, and I would not know how to dress, etc..
So, that is my tale of woe!

I sort of stared to try and join a group a few years ago but i was having computer problems at the time so i could not send some of the things they were asking for and i also thought that the leader of the group was being a bit to "i`m the boss do as i say or else" so i took the or else :heehee: and i was also worrying that it might be a bit to close to home.
But i still do think about going to one some times as the thought of being around other people when dressed has that certain something that i would like at times .


joanne :o

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beth-Lock

Wonder how many of you have also been reluctant to join a face-to-face group?

I know there is a group where I live, but joining it proved difficult, and there seemed to be some sort of reluctance on the group's part to accept me, (the meeting place was kept a private secret). Eventually, my own reluctance started up, and I realized that I would not likely be comfortable in a face-to-face group.
What have your experiences been with face-to-face groups?

---

My very first time to a CD group they were accepting and fun.

Thing is, there ARE some CD/TS groups that are stringent or have anal rules. These types of groups, you should steer clear of. Especially if they act like it is some big secret or they seen reluctant to accept you. That means something else is going on with the group, things you might not want anything to do with.

Do not put up with a group that makes it hard on new members.

I have been to a few different groups and normally, they are cool. I have been to one group that gave me a bad feeling, and while I still think "F" them, they can have their group, it has not discouraged me. Another group I go to in my town is full of good people, so I will stick with them [Is also the same group that I went to once, 10 years ago]

I am wondering if this reluctant group is one of the ones known all over the USA that I, for one, would stay away from membership.

I went to a couple of meetings with two TGs but as we really had nothing in common it kind of fell apart. I am a Tri-ess member and there is a group forming in my area though it has been forming for at least a year and still hasn't made it to reality. If it ever gets formed I will certainly give it a try.:D

Vieja

:daydreaming:Hi, I would love to find a support group in my area, Bucks County, PA. It would be nice to be out with other people in a safe and supportive environment.:battingeyelashes:Robyn

I have found support groups helpfull when you are 1st getting out. I met some life long friends through them.

Terri

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beth-Lock

About groups having a screening process and this being something I might not have been aware of: No, though that was the reason they gave, but several times they did not reply to my emails, the whole thing dragged on for months, and in the end, they did not want to interview me over the phone which was their stated procedure. I think I must have said something in the emails that made a bad impression.
Eventually they invited me to a discussion group, rather than any of their socials, but it was the occasional social that i was really interested in attending. By then I had other problems and could not go at the time, and since have thought better of the whole idea. Eventually I wondered if I belonged there anyway, and if a group experience was for me at all.
I have been pondering at times getting more counseling and other help, but it is expensive and hard to find the right kind. i did talk to one person, (MTF), who confirmed my fears that you are likely to get the sort of answer that the counselor specializes in giving according to their world view, so it is all determined by selecting a counsellor.
These days I have been thinking of giving it up, but I am torn. Perhaps that was their problem with me, that they did not want someone who was ambivalent amongst them. Now, it is all water under the bridge, and I do not consider going to a face-to-face group a viable or desirable option anymore. I think the window of psychological opportunity to join a group has come and gone. I tried to approach the priest at the church to talk about it, but that led nowhere useful, though the conversation was friendly enough. It was just one-sided, with me making up all the things to say.
As for the matter of choice, there is not much to choose from here. There are only two groups in town, and the other is limited and more for transsexuals or those transitioning fully. So it is not as if I have a lot of options. But I would like to meet others socially, one on one, in a safe environment, just not in the kind of group that we have been referring to. Going to a group alone would make me very nervous now, and I would not know how to dress, etc..
So, that is my tale of woe!

---

OK Hon, I'll try and give you another "plausible" reason that you might have not received the response you wanted.

Having done quite a few interviews, been Secretary for a Group, and been around for a few years, here is what we find. About 1 in six of the inquiries we get, ever actually sets up an interview. About 1 out of four of those interviews actually shows up at a meeting within 3 months. After a year, the odds might be a little better, but not much. One of the chief assumptions is that the person who does not follow up and show some desire to actually take some action is: 1.)ambivalent, 2.)doesn't know what they want, or 3.) is never going to take the necessary steps. It seems to be a pretty safe assumption.

If you drug things out over several or many months, they are going to give up on you! This is all volunteer work, it's time consuming, and sometimes it's frustrating. This may or may not be your situation, but I would recommend to anyone who is READY to join a Group, do not diddle around! Step forward, be positive, let them know you are committed and ready to go! I'll just bet things will happen very quickly.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Id love to if there were one close Years ago there was one met every 1st tuesday of the month alot of fun. If u hear...call.:straightface:

Reluctant? Yes and No.

I wasn't at all reluctant about giving it a try. I'd had no idea that there was such a group in town before I started dressing, but within about 2 months of starting to dress, I had found a link to their web site on a different site I was looking at. I emailed them, they didn't really get back to me, so I missed the first opportunity I had to go. The web site didn't say where the meetings were, but the next month in reviewing some of the old newsletters they had posted I found the location, and I found that just in time to get to that month's meeting. So off I went and forced myself upon them :D

They did explain that they preferred to interview people first outside before the first attendance, so when I showed up, I was an unknown factor, not even someone's "guest" -- I didn't know anyone there. So that concerned them a bit, but they recovered from that fairly quickly. If I recall correctly, I did wear a dress or something like that to the first meeting, so it was clear that I wasn't there to cause trouble or be a "trannie chaser".

So, going at all: no, no reluctance.

I did, though, have some trust issues to get through the first few months: I didn't know these people, didn't know what to expect at the meetings, didn't know the extent to which I could trust them not to leak my secret or get too nosy about who I was. The first few meetings, I called myself "Anonymous": they took that in stride.

But it turned out to be a good group of people. Some of them I know better than others. I can't say that I trust them all equally, but that is to be expected with any group of people.

My wife and I are currently searching for a group for socializing and for support. We live in the Boston area and are very eager to fin d a nice group.

There seems to be such a huge difference in cultures here.... :sad:

I just started going to a bar known as a trans meeting place, talking to people one on one, going for meals together, before I ever came to the internet?

Honestly, the concept of hiding away and putting people through a vetting procedure fills me with horror - it says more about the fears of the group, than anything else?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nicki B

Honestly, the concept of hiding away and putting people through a vetting procedure fills me with horror - it says more about the fears of the group, than anything else?

---

My local group is getting more relaxed about it (and never was as strict as Tri-ess sounds to be), but they have told me that when they started up, they did have some problems with "trannie-chasers" attending and hoping to succeed in propositioning one of the attendees.


My local group (and note I'm in Canada, where there is no Tri-Ess) does things differently than Tri-Ess

1) We do not ask that the spouse know; we do not by any means promote dishonesty or lying but we understand that for some telling isn't yet the right thing to do, and that for others it may never be. I would not have worked up the courage to talk honestly with my wife if I had not already had the support of the group for a couple of years.

2) If I understand correctly, Tri-Ess is only for heterosexual cross-dressers, and that non-hetro can at most be associates, not full members. Our local group is not concerned with sexual orientation: we just indicate in our mission statement that we are not a place to meet the meat. What people do outside of the meetings, we don't ask. Our membership includes gay and bi members; some of our members have dated each other. As long as the meeting is kept clean we're just glad to see
people find some happiness.

I don't think of myself as a spokesperson for Tri-Ess, but when I read something that doesn't run quite true, I feel I have to say something about it so that others don't get the wrong impression.

I belong to 2 Tri-Ess Chapters. My understanding is that each chapter is allowed quite a bit of latitude on rules, so it's possible that a particular chapter may have some special rule I don't know about. However, NEITHER OF MY CHAPTERS HAS ANY KIND OF RULE THAT SAYS YOUR WIFE HAS TO BE INFORMED ABOUT YOUR CD! Tri-Ess encourages couples to participate, but we have many members in my chapters that are single, or the wives DO NOT KNOW. At least in the two chapters that I belong to, we do not tell anyone how to run their personal lives.

What you do outside of your Chapter is your own business. I personally know many Gurls who are bi-sexual or gay. What everyone is told upon joining is....1.) This is a Social/Support Group, keep your nose clean when you attend. This is not a place for predators, it is not a dating service. 2.) You need to respect the privacy of other members, if you want to bring a guest you will vouch for their behavior and you are to let some person on The Board know that they are coming to a meeting.

Someone mentioned TS Gurls. As far as I know, we have no problem with them, and I know many who are current and past members. WHEN they begin active transition, boob job, SRS, etc., they understand that they will have a change of status and become an associate member. Doesn't mean they are shunned, or can't attend meetings. Many of them still attend even after transition, because they have made a lot of friends and seem to get some comfort from being with people. All persons are asked to "cool it," about talking about hormone regimens all the time, or having sexual relationships. And that is done to placate other persons (wives,) who can be very turned off by that sort of talk. Many GGs view that sort of thing as a threat to their relationship with their hubby. Everybody understands the rules and we all seem to get along OK. By the way, The Orlando Chapter was originally started by a Gal who is TS and has since transitioned. The Board of National Tri-Ess had to give their approval for that Group's Charter 20 years ago. Does that sound like an Organization that spends a lot of time worrying about everyone's sexual orientation?

Peace and Love, Joanie

I tried quite a few years ago and never went again. Was a Tri-Ess Dinner and the attitude was very bad.

Never went again.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sterling12

I don't think of myself as a spokesperson for Tri-Ess, but when I read something that doesn't run quite true, I feel I have to say something about it so that others don't get the wrong impression.
[...]

Someone mentioned TS Gurls. As far as I know, we have no problem with them, and I know many who are current and past members. WHEN they begin active transition, boob job, SRS, etc., they understand that they will have a change of status and become an associate member. Doesn't mean they are shunned, or can't attend meetings. Many of them still attend even after transition, because they have made a lot of friends and seem to get some comfort from being with people.

---

My local club (in Canada, not part of Tri-Ess) does not have an "associate member" status. Pretty much anyone polite and respectful is welcome at the meetings, whether they are currently paid-up or not, Dressed or not. Non-members can't vote, of course, but little is put to the vote at the regular meetings. And if there's a non-paid member attending that we've known for years, chances are they'll be given a complimentary door-prize ticket, in recognition of past contributions to the club.

Officially the policy is that you don't have to come to the first few meetings dressed, which tends to imply that you should come to later meetings dressed, but what the club really wants to know is whether you are sincere about your crossdressing or are just there to get a thrill by looking at the members dressed up. Once people in our club know you are serious about your crossdressing, they aren't concerned about whether you are dressed any particular night. There were many months were I attended not dressed or barely dressed (e.g., maybe just forms), and left the meeting after 15 minutes or half an hour: they understood that I was doing the best I could under my life circumstances and any comments were strictly light teasing intended to let me know that they were glad to see me.

TS Girls: we have a few members who have completely transitioned, and a few who are somewhere in the process. They are as much a part of our club as anyone else is. There is a more specific transgender support group in town, but I am told it is more of a "how to" kind of meeting, with not a lot of socialization going on.

It's a good group, locally, and the GLBT bar that is our current meeting place has treated us quite well -- they even donated funding to offset costs for several of us to attend an out-of-town crossdressing conference. We cross-promote them, they cross-promote us, a good time is had by all.

I have been to meetings of several different support/social groups in different cities. Each one has been very friendly and I have always been made to feel welcome.
A favorite is the Diablo Valley Girls as mentioned by Paula Rae, they are a wonderful happy group, I wish I lived closer so I could get to more of their events.

I'm not sure I would want to join a group that would accept a weirdo like me!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

I'm not sure I would want to join a group that would accept a weirdo like me!

---

You've been here since Sep 07.... :heehee:

I went to a group meeting back when I was first getting out into the world. The group had potential but were going through a reorganisation after the previous organisers dropped out. They met in a church basement and did little of interest.
I guess it was a good thing for me, though, since it showed that if I were going to get out I would have to get up the nerve and just do it on my own. :thumbsup:

Robyngirl:
King of Prussia, is that too far? Check out www.ren.org and go to the Phila chapter. There is also a Lehigh Valley, and a Wilmington, DE group. Rennaissance is very accepting of the whole spectrum of cd-ts people, and you just show up. There's no pressure to act or dress a certain way. See you next month?

I have been encouraged by a friend to join a group and have recently contacted a group that I would join if I lived close enough. Unfortunately, I will only rarely get to that area to follow up with them. Locally (San Diego), I haven't found any group.

I have never been a joiner in any sort of group for any interest I have. But I would love to learn from others about makeup and dresses and just have a chance to be relaxed around other girls like me. My concerns are (1) my age and the fact that girls 30 years younger won't relate, and (2) dressing up for the first meeting (I'm still in the Bozo-stage of makeup).

If I could find a group I would attend events like makeup workshops and shopping and casual wine parties. Is that what others are looking for too?

I'm relatively new to this... Not dressing; as I've been doing it all my life. But, I'm new to the politics of all this. I didn't realize that there was so much distaste, confusion, and untrustful sentiments among us. And that makes me sad. I was hopeful that if I wanted to join a group or meet somebody with my interests, I would be fully accepted. It is sad that we have groups and people that judge us before actually meeting us. I understand the need for privacy as I don't want to be outed by another, either. But, to accept us... you have to meet us.

Just saying.

I used to be but after reading various postings I have changed my mind.
It appears there is just to much complication involved and they seem more like an AA meeting group than an uplifting experience. Also from reading it seems there is a bit of jealousy involved with whatever your stage of passing you present as at these groups.

Things got dragged out, initially, apparently because my first email got lost in a computer glitch. A subsequent email resulted in no initiation of the interview process, perhaps because they simply thought I was not a prospect because of ambivalence, and thought that following up was superfluous.
But I thought that an ambivalent person, assuming deeply conflicted, was just the sort of person such a group would be most helpful to support. Apparently not. Which takes us back to my eventual conclusion, that I might need more individual and private therapy but not group participation. (Though my last therapist specifically recommended group participation, at the group where I tried to initiate membership.)
That's where it stands now. I should next try a private therapist. I am not enthusiastic about trying a group again.

I am saddened by some of the responses here. Some of us don't fully understand the complextities of our lives, including me. Therefore; group help, influence, and understading are a major part of what we need. I don't think we need to be fixed, per say... But, we definately need support. Why is it that a person that wants support cannot find it in a place that advertises support? Makes no sense to me.

I have been coming to this site for quite awhile; so far it is my only group, though of course it is not face-to-face. I would a face-to-face group if there were one in my area. Alas, there is not. At least, as far as I know there is not one near me in southeastern Washington state.

I joined the beaumont society a while ago.Went 2 a couple of coffee evenings and a xmas function,they were amazing.Got a little scared and gave it up.Seriously considering joining again.All the girls were fantastic on a face 2 face basis.guess there the ones who give us all hope along with this site.I was so nervous when i arrived 4 the 1st home meeting,but changing facilities were there,it was fantastic.Truly want 2 be a girl amongst girls

I have been reluctant in going anywhere dressed. I have this discussion with my wife and we are thinking I could go to a large meeting like Southern Comfort or something maybe after retirement. The thought of being outed is not very pleasant for me and I would be very humiliated if it ever happened. My big question is what happens when you meet outside of the group. If you are all from the same place odds are you will meet again and I'm just curious about of what happens. There are some very vindictive people and they love to see others suffer. It's just a thought and maybe I am sometimes a bit paranoid, but still I can't help from wondering.

Jeannie.

if there was one, i'd join it.
but, around here,
it would probably be a trap to draw me and other "affected" souls out for a good ol' fashioned lynchin, even if they bought that i wasn't "one o' them sorts," i am this sort.
if you catch my drift.
proudly, to you,
in hiding, to them.
freaking chicken hypocrite,
jessie

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jeannie

The thought of being outed is not very pleasant for me and I would be very humiliated if it ever happened.

---

To paraphrase Dear Abby,

"Nobody can humiliate you without your permission."

You know you dress. Your wife knows you dress. If you haven't been going around bad-mouthing cross-dressing (which would leave you open to accusations of hypocrisy) then you should be able to meet comments with a response along the lines of "Yeah? So what? I suppose you are going to tell me that you don't have any bedroom excitement that is really no-one else's business?"

Quote:

---

There are some very vindictive people and they love to see others suffer

---

There are, and you can deny them their pleasure by refusing to suffer. In many situations, the big damage does not arise from an action itself, but rather from the cover-up. A US president does not get impeached for an affair, but rather for lying about it under oath.

Is there a particular reason why you might already be unpopular with people? Been a criminal defense lawyer or an executive for a tobacco company or promoted a seal hunt or been a partisan politician or something like that? If you've just been a "good guy", participating in your neighbourhood, then even if you have noticeable public status (e.g., perhaps you are well-known as the best kitchen refurbisher in town), then unless you live in a pretty uptight community, chances are the great majority of people have better things to do with their lives than to even think about picketing your house to get you to move out of town. In your community, are gay people fairly well integrated? If so then chances are excellent that your community can tolerate known cross-dressers as well.


Is it possible to lose your job just for being found to be a cross-dresser? In the USA, I gather the answer to that is, in general, "Yes". The workings of the US "at will" hirings are a mystery to me here in Canada, but it is clear that if you are in an unprotected situation in the USA and some "moral majority" group decides to start picketing the business fearing that you will "contaminate their children" (c.f., the school dress-up day reported on in the Media forum a month or so ago) then the business might choose to let you go as a pure business decision, even if they'd prefer to keep you on. I wouldn't say that that sort of thing never happens in Canada, but in Canada it would have much more the character of a "buy-out", so as to avoid a wrongful termination suit under the Canada Human Rights Act.

There are several groups inthis area. I doubt that I will ever join one of them. Being a neck down dresser, I will never pass at this point. SO going out surely is not an option now. I would love to meet some of the others in the area. But I doubt that it will ever happen.

Many years ago I made contact with TriEss in the Austin Texas area and ultimately made it to one or two of their meetings. They were a bit as you describe the group you contacted. I'd only been out a couple of times at that point, and those only to gay bars, and they insisted on meeting me in a very public place first. So I screwed up my guts and met them there on the way to my first meeting.
Right or wrong, that sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. In the end I suppose it wasn't really even their fault. After all, I made the decision to go to this first interview dressed so I guess I shouldn't blame them.
Anyway, one of the things I noticed was they seemed maybe a little . . . umm . . .militant about crossdressing. That's not the right word but it's the best one I can come up with. It seemed to me a little as if they wanted to make DAMN sure you knew they were men that just happened to like dresses. I think if you might have implied that it may be more than just crossdressing for you, they might have been a bit stand offish.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shawna13

My wife and I are currently searching for a group for socializing and for support. We live in the Boston area and are very eager to fin d a nice group.

---

Shawna,

I get to Boston once or twice a year and there is a GREAT group there. In fact, it's pretty much my favorite group to hang out with. It's called "Sisters of Boston" and they meet once a week. Actually, it started as just Sisters of Boston and now it's branching out all over the area and there are now many Sisters groups. Anyway, here is their web page - give 'em a shot. They are the friendliest and funnest group of Tgirls I've ever had the pleasure to hang out with.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_boston/

I wish I knew how to go about finding such a group and if there is one in my area (warren OH) any ideas let me know. I have been feeling alone to find others like me would be nice.

I feel alone here (Warren OH) and wish I could find a group of like minded people in this area sometimes I am afraid to be in public as a girl but having others with me would help me feel comfortable as me. So if I could find a group I think the screening process might be worth the effort.

I think support groups are vital for some people. Just like some people need to visit a therapist on a regular or occasional basis. If the alternative is sitting in your closet thinking you are some kind of weird freak, then you should visit or join a group which will provide some positive support and let you know that you are not defined by the morals and attitudes of a society which shuns those who are "different." If you are too concerned about being outed in your area, plan a trip once or twice a year to a city far away and attend a group there. No one will write about it in the local paper. You should be safe.

I am not a member of any face-to-face groups myself. I'm lucky because all of my friends have been very supportive. That doesn't mean that people don't make fun of me. They do. It's just not done in a malicious manner. My friends won't tolerate someone else making disparaging remarks about me though. Its kind of like two brothers may fight with each other, but if someone else tries to fight one of them, he'll have to fight both of them. I think we are sometimes a little too sensitive about what others may say or think. We tend to expect the bad and that influences our perception of what we hear.

Yesterday I had to do some shopping and decided to do it enfemme. As I was returning home, a friend called to say that she and her husband were boiling crawfish and were inviting some people over. She knows I'm allergic to shellfish and couldn't eat but wanted me to come over too. I did. As Glenda. No one made any remarks other than to say how nice I looked. So I don't feel the need to join a local support group when I have accepting friends. But if I was locked alone inside my home, I guarantee that I would seek a group to help validate my feelings. We all need some support, even if it is just as a member of this forun.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TxKimberly

Shawna,

I get to Boston once or twice a year and there is a GREAT group there. In fact, it's pretty much my favorite group to hang out with. It's called "Sisters of Boston" and they meet once a week. Actually, it started as just Sisters of Boston and now it's branching out all over the area and there are now many Sisters groups. Anyway, here is their web page - give 'em a shot. They are the friendliest and funnest group of Tgirls I've ever had the pleasure to hang out with.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_boston/

---

Amen Kim. I can give a huge endorsement for the SISTERS since not only were they the group that got me out the first time, I've since become a moderator of my own group. The SISTER aren't as much of a support group as they are a social group, but we do support each other and provide a network to all sorts of resources. Where I'm from, there are a lot of options as far as clubs and support groups, but most of the other ones I was told about or looked into either charged a membership fee or were more serious groups geared for trans-sexuals. SISTERS is more about girls getting together and going out and having fun. There is no membership process, like some of the other girls have described. All you have to do is show up at one of our gatherings, and the rules are pretty simple--no lewd behavior, no using the group for "hooking up" or hitting on people. And some of the venues have certain restroom protocol we have to follow, but we're open to everyone, including supportive friends and family. Just about everyone who has been to one of our gatherings has come back, so that should tell you something there.

Peace out Sister. :hugs: