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Thread: After you walk away from the counter e'femme...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Stephanie Miller's Avatar
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    After you walk away from the counter e'femme...

    Don't know why.. but I've always wondered what people say about me after I walk away. You know the thoughts.. "Did I pass?", "Are they making fun of me?" "Did they really give a rats patootie?" etc...
    Well, this last weekend my wife and I (me en femme) and another couple (he was in femme also) went to the mall after fixing a purse with a video camera to record reactions. We traded off with me and my wife and then just me and then me and my friend. My friends wife had the rigged purse and always lagged behind as though unrelated, just to catch the responses after we left.
    It was a hoot. Most sales people who really gave a diddly were the over 40 crowd. A lot of the young people didn't care or brushed it off with a one liner is all. I was supprised at a couple that responded with something like " she dresses nicer than a lot of real women I know". Yes, I did get one "pervert!" And that lady I would not have suspected because she was really nice at the counter! As a whole, the people felt and acted more at ease with me when I was with my wife rather than by myself.
    Overall it just made me a little more at ease knowing they weren't ALL pointing and laughing when I left.
    Oh yeh... One younger girl did turn to her worker girlfriend and said - after I walked out - " I wonder if I could get (insert boys name here - probably her boyfriend) to dress up like that?"
    If that was your girlfriend and your on this forum - I hope it helped

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Bobbi Lynn's Avatar
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    This is a great experiment! Really neat.
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  3. #3
    AKA Elizabeth, Latin Girl
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    That is so cool, Stephanie. I appreciate the effort and information. I guess we are going to have another in our mist in a couple of years. hahaha

  4. #4
    Senior Member Christina Horton's Avatar
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    I have allways wanted to do that. We shuld make a TV show called non CDer's caught on Tape!!!! and sell it to the networks . Like canaided camrea! LOL I think it would be a hit. I should do that to how did you all rig the purse and who's purse was sacrficed for the causs. I hope you bought her a new purse? Can I get the film I will pay 29.95$ for it would be funny. HUGGS
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  5. #5
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    Great post Stephanie! What an interesting experiment. I think most of us have wondered what has been said about us after we have left the sales counter. I have always wondered what the guys who monitor the security cameras are saying to each other when they spot an obvious cd'er. I'm sure I am read quite often but that will never be a reason to stop me from going out en femme.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Miller View Post
    Don't know why.. but I've always wondered what people say about me after I walk away. You know the thoughts.. "Did I pass?", "Are they making fun of me?" "Did they really give a rats patootie?" etc...
    Well, this last weekend my wife and I (me en femme) and another couple (he was in femme also) went to the mall after fixing a purse with a video camera to record reactions. We traded off with me and my wife and then just me and then me and my friend. My friends wife had the rigged purse and always lagged behind as though unrelated, just to catch the responses after we left.
    It was a hoot. Most sales people who really gave a diddly were the over 40 crowd. A lot of the young people didn't care or brushed it off with a one liner is all. I was supprised at a couple that responded with something like " she dresses nicer than a lot of real women I know". Yes, I did get one "pervert!" And that lady I would not have suspected because she was really nice at the counter! As a whole, the people felt and acted more at ease with me when I was with my wife rather than by myself.
    Overall it just made me a little more at ease knowing they weren't ALL pointing and laughing when I left.
    Oh yeh... One younger girl did turn to her worker girlfriend and said - after I walked out - " I wonder if I could get (insert boys name here - probably her boyfriend) to dress up like that?"
    If that was your girlfriend and your on this forum - I hope it helped
    We would love to see that video if you can.

  7. #7
    Girl next door Cristi's Avatar
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    I'd love to know what goes on after I'm out of earshot.

    I work in a business that deals with a lot of the public. Once in a while, we get a CDer in (though I never see her... I work in the back office). It usually results in a bit of conversation, but nothing too negative. It mostly sounds like curiosity, or a critique of the way she was dressed.

    The one thing I've noticed is that people don't use the words 'crossdresser' or 'transvestite' when discussing these encounters, they usually just say 'Man dressed like a woman' or, in one instance that bugged me, the term "he/she" as in "We had a he/she come in today"

    One time, a few years ago, it made me happy after a crossdresser (or TG) left and the only conversation was a manager confessing that he didn't know if he should have called her "Ma'm" or "Sir".
    In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is never to let them find out.
    -- Robert Heinlein

  8. #8
    Senior Member Stephanie Miller's Avatar
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    the ceiling and blurs

    I will look into getting what I can on-line. I don't want to be "invited" to court for non disclosure or some privacy issues. The video really isn't worth looking at, as it mostly shows blurs and ceilings. Holding the purse at your side, you can only guess where or what it is pointing at. It wasn't the video that was important to me as much as the verbal info that was obtained. We are thinking of just taking a digital recorder if we ever do it again. Another thought we had waws to put a recorder in a bag that is inadvertantly left on the counter, that we come back for in just a few minutes.

  9. #9
    Lady in Training Jenny J's Avatar
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    Power of the Purse

    Great job Stephanie, I'd love to hear those conversations especially after you've spent a couple hundred $$$ on clothing and accessories in the store.

    Power of the Purse is a strong incentive to be cordial.

    Jen


  10. #10
    Member Lucypink's Avatar
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    Great experiment! Thanks for sharing.
    With Love and Kisses...

    Lucy


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  11. #11
    Aussie girl Tasha McIntyre's Avatar
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    Great post Stephanie.

    This is the kind of info I need as I have fiinally got one foot out of the closet.

    Cheers

    Tash

  12. #12
    A wolf in sheeps heels amaya's Avatar
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    If you need the help getting a place to host the files and not worrying about people outside this forum finding them. I can give you private location to host them.

    Also if the video isn't worth it you can always just rip the audio out separate.

  13. #13
    erica lynn stone erica12b's Avatar
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    letters

    we should all send letters to the networks and have them do a show, (what would you do if) or opra, that might make a good show and it would make people see us in a diffrent light

    any one want to produce it ? and what gurls want to star in it?
    anyone ? stand up
    I like my femself; it makes me feel more civilized, i think girltime should be a requirment for all kids.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Miller View Post
    Don't know why.. but I've always wondered what people say about me after I walk away....
    I'd be saying... wow was she ever hot! I hope she comes back here again....

  15. #15
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    I
    have always wondered what the guys who monitor the security cameras are saying to each other when they spot an obvious cd'er.

    I've done that before and only one or two times did we observe CD'ers and it was "oh a couple of crossdressers"...they were in the women's shoe section...and we moved on...we were looking for people who might be shoplifting and not "dressing...it really was a non-event....this was in one of the large upscale clothing stores...

    Also it was way before I started dressing...so it's not like I had some association with them or what they were doing....

    Come to think of it although we'd watch a lot of different people anyone who was a cder didn't really hit the "oh got to watch them"....no one really cared...also never heard any of the SA's like in cosmetics or women's clothing ever make any comments about CD'ers shopping...it's all about sales & comissions....
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  16. #16
    Member Marcie R.'s Avatar
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    Wondering

    I have often thought of what kind of response others have of me when I am out in public dressed as a female. Looking in the mirror, I have always felt that I pass convincenly. However, many times I see other CD's that likely feel as I do, but there is quite often some little thing that makes you realize it is really a man in drag. It is very important to keep working on your appearance to perfect it and then you will feel very confident when you are out in public.
    I think the experiment with the camera was great.

  17. #17
    Silver Member victoriamwilliams1's Avatar
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    This is good information.

  18. #18
    Luvin it Patty's Avatar
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    Thanks for the results -- what a great test.

  19. #19
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    What a very cool thing you have done!!! It really comes the closest to telling us whether or not we "passed" because absent documenting the reactions of those one encounters, we simply never know for sure. Sounds like you blended in that you were treated with respect and in accordance with the gender you were presenting...face to face. Then true colors of some come out after you step away. On second thought, maybe that's stuff we don't want to see or hear !?!?
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
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  20. #20
    Blue Tigress PheonaP's Avatar
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    Stephanie, if the video is a problem, privacy issues, can you extract just the audio track and post that somewhere for us all to listen to??

  21. #21
    Member Girly Sara's Avatar
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    Hi Steph,

    Thanks so much for sharing this thread with us. Really interesting!

    Sara xxx

  22. #22
    Junior Member Jennifer N.'s Avatar
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    This is very insightful and thanks Steph for the had work along with your freind and spouses.

    Just had a thought; What if a few girls got dressered and went out to a mall and then have two people follow them with a video cam and interview people about their thoughts and reactions?

    I know, sense this is my idea, I should step up to the plate and do it, but I am sure there are a few more seasoned girls that could do a better job.

    Thanks Againfor the info.
    Girl-N-Hose! Heels 2

  23. #23
    Member Katelyn's Avatar
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    That was really great! Sneaky. I've always wondered that too. Now I know.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Great thread Stephanie! Yes if you can share with us the audio, that way you are not exposing any of the cashiers or SA's.

    Eileen

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