Worried about going out in public

[deja true]

Here hunny!

This thread running in tandem is just what you need to instill a little confidence.

The wish to be seen:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=104654

[Nicki B]

im in the east of england. North a london really

Umm.. Perhaps you could narrow it down to a county?

Cambridgeshire? Northants?Leicester? Lincs? Norwich? There are lots of folk around Essex..

And there's always Pink Punters to go to, in Milton Keynes?

[KimberlyS]

I ditto Karren, but I am not quite as bold as she is. I do not take pictures in the bathroom.

[linnea]

Just do it. Do it with confidence. Do it with a smile. Enjoy it. Enjoy the sounds, the sensations, the make-up, and the swish of your skirt.
It can seem overwhelming difficult, but it is amazingly simple.
You WILL be noticed, but few (if anyone) will care that you are presenting yourself as woman. Most won't realize that you aren't a woman.

[Christina Horton]

Were still busting down the door, Joy!! lol You get a make over or something?? You look awesome!




Lucky girl!! Obviously your way ahead of the curve here... Most of us are still males.... and were till trying to figure this passing thing out... after 5 decades... sigh....

You know Karren you and I should use my rig and drive all over the country and give CDer that are in the closet and make them over Gorilla style. Like "open up mam We have you surrounded , Put down that beer and clicker down and come out with your hands up." then bring them into the truck's trailer and make them over and do it all on TV. We could call it mobile makeover mob madam's. LOL.

[tricia_uktv]

Start slowly, find a place where there will be other crossdressers or a gay bar. Then gradually build up your confidence and attitude. I find that dancin really helps. The first few times you go all the way in public are so exilerating yet very nervy too. Read "You'll never walk alone" in my blog for what it feels like when you start. Fun, fun, fun!

[Debie]

Hi Melissa

I will be posting a thread some time today about this, as I went out for the first time ever yesterday, had a great time, was with a GG went shopping 3 stores and out to lunch at a very busy Diner in Atlanta. Definitely do plan the day and do it you will not regret it. Yes, you will be nervous and yes people will see you but I do not know if they really take time to notice or just don't care, it seems that nobody really took a second look. I did a lot of what Karen spoke of, held my head high and tried to walk with confidence. Good luck let us know how it goes, and remember take pictures.

[SIZE="2"]Trying to bust out of the Closet!!![/SIZE]

[Tracy_Victoria]

Ive been enjoying buying new clothes and dressing up at home but im really worried about going out in public. I worry about being noticed etc

has anyone got any advice for me or tips?

Never leave your house dressed, it so easy to do your make up, Bar Lipstick Wear sun glasses (so people can't see your eyes) and drive part dressed in baggy male clothes.

Find a quite place to park and change there, ie female top clothes, wig and final make up, from there you can drive anywhere you like, but if you know where there is a quite restroom, toilet, you can go there to check your look.

your'll find it easier to mingle with small amounts of people first, so park in a side street, and move nearer and near to people as you go. ie pass people on the other side of the street, if they don't note anything wrong, cross over behind some one, then pass some one. Each step will clarifiy your look, and confidence.

Remember, passing out as a Woman is more than just looking like on. ie it the look, the mannerism, and a confidence, to be the person you are, over the person your hiding beneath. Take small steps to start, and then move on, just driving enfem in your car you will be noticed as being a female, so if you drive like Jenson button, again people will see something odd, ie most woman drive slower and more careful than Men!!!

Small steps, set a goal, and try to do it. but be warned we all get read sometime.

[Christina Horton]

Never leave your house dressed, it so easy to do your make up, Bar Lipstick Wear sun glasses (so people can't see your eyes) and drive part dressed in baggy male clothes.

Find a quite place to park and change there, ie female top clothes, wig and final make up, from there you can drive anywhere you like, but if you know where there is a quite restroom, toilet, you can go there to check your look.

your'll find it easier to mingle with small amounts of people first, so park in a side street, and move nearer and near to people as you go. ie pass people on the other side of the street, if they don't note anything wrong, cross over behind some one, then pass some one. Each step will clarifiy your look, and confidence.

Remember, passing out as a Woman is more than just looking like on. ie it the look, the mannerism, and a confidence, to be the person you are, over the person your hiding beneath. Take small steps to start, and then move on, just driving enfem in your car you will be noticed as being a female, so if you drive like Jenson button, again people will see something odd, ie most woman drive slower and more careful than Men!!!

Small steps, set a goal, and try to do it. but be warned we all get read sometime.

Us far as I am concerned unless your hiding your CDing from your wife you need to ether go out fully dressed or make a appointment at a place that will do you makeup while your in drab in a private room and then get dressed up. If you read my thread First time out YAAAAAAAAAAAAA you will see how I did it and maybe it's for you. But like I said If you want to go out I think that going out as Tracy said is the hardest way and is a great way to get seen sans makeup or wig. I think the girls whom do that might be ok if they have no choice BUT I THINK IT'S THE WRONG THING TO DO! I don't mean to step on some girls toes whom does it but I speak my mind and when I don't like something or disagree with someone I will stand up and say something, if you don't like it well to bad. It's my right to speak my mind and your right to do the same. I would never get dressed in a car are you kidding me yuck. I have a makeup vanity and it's takes 30 min to do my makeup and then 10 min to get dressed. But in the end your the one whom need to decided what she wants to do. I do agree with the small steps if you need to but me I went on my first outing from 0 to 1000 mile per hour in less then a second , but that's me. HUGGS and good luck hun.

[roxannneff]

What I have found in going out in public is it is easier to go out with another girl than to go a lone. Always dress for the occasion to match the other women that will be there. Go to stores where there are not a lot of people until you get use to being a woman in public.

I hope this helps you.

Roxann

[JoannaCaroline]

I read some good advice. When you are reluctant to do something you want or need to do ask youself; "what is the absolute worst that could happen and how long would it take you to recover?" Generally it's not as bad as you think and the worst that could happen probably won't and you can recover fairly quickly. I wish I someone had given me this advice about business in my 20's. I probably would have taken a lot more chances.

So you decide to go out in public in a safe place away from your local grocery! The worse that could happen is some 20 something male looks at you, laughs and calls you a derogatory name. This has happened to me. It's terrifying but really not that bad in hindsight. If the worst that can happen is something like "your mother would see you and die of a coronary!" You might want to change locations.

[Sally2005]

Don't forget to consider the best case...what will I gain by going out? Or what will I be missing if I stay in? The hardest and most stressful is finding a 'secure' place to transform, if you can get most done before going out and just cover up somehow. If you can venture out all made up a lot of the stress is gone because you are always in character. I guess the hard part is actually stepping out the door and closing it. In that case, make a plan and then just do it. Take the good with the bad it is all worth the experience.

[Tracii G]

I don't worry about the neighbors I get all dressed up and head out the door.
Go where every I please and do my errands as Tracii.
Shopping, grocery,gas station,GoodWill store(they love when I dress enfemme) just be your alter -ego and act as a woman would.
Most people will not even notice you are not a female.Mannerisms and attitude are the key to a successful day out.
The gas staion I go too see me both ways and the girls there always say tell Tracii hi when you see her.
Be confident you CAN do it.

[Tracii G]

Finding a TG/CD group is a great confidence builder.
My group has some very beautiful ladies so they set the bar high.

[noname]

Just remember one thing... It's called equal rights. Women wear mens clothes all the time, heck they make menswear for women. If other people don't like what your wearing, that is their problem, not yours.

[Tracy_Victoria]

Us far as I am concerned unless your hiding your CDing from your wife you need to ether go out fully dressed or make a appointment at a place that will do you makeup while your in drab in a private room and then get dressed up. If you read my thread First time out YAAAAAAAAAAAAA you will see how I did it and maybe it's for you. But like I said If you want to go out I think that going out as Tracy said is the hardest way and is a great way to get seen sans makeup or wig. I think the girls whom do that might be ok if they have no choice BUT I THINK IT'S THE WRONG THING TO DO! I don't mean to step on some girls toes whom does it but I speak my mind and when I don't like something or disagree with someone I will stand up and say something, if you don't like it well to bad. It's my right to speak my mind and your right to do the same. I would never get dressed in a car are you kidding me yuck. I have a makeup vanity and it's takes 30 min to do my makeup and then 10 min to get dressed. But in the end your the one whom need to decided what she wants to do. I do agree with the small steps if you need to but me I went on my first outing from 0 to 1000 mile per hour in less then a second , but that's me. HUGGS and good luck hun.

Sorry don't think you understood my post at all!

lets look at the facts that you completely seemed to miss?,

One I don't need to hide the fact that I crossdress from my wife, she know, and I follow and old and golden rule, that means I never poop on my own doorstep! My niebours do not need to know anything about my dressing or the fact that I crossdress, nor do that need to feel embaressed about it, therefore I dress in the manor I do for all concerned, not just me!

Two, I've never, ever paid for anyone services regarding my dressing, everything I do, and know is self taught, and learn from reading and trial and error. I first stepped in to the world as tracy at the age of 15, and I have been passing ever since. that 33 years, so I feel I have a damned good Idea about what I'm talking about, and how to get out discretely in public as a woman. to me visiting gay bars, and dressing services is not passing, as we are talking about here.

Three, I don't dress in the car, you give the imression I dress fully in the car, which is totally wrong. as I said, I dress fully including make up wig etc before leaving, I only remove items and cover up obvious signs of being dress before leaving my house. (ie baggy clothes, and sun glasses to cover my eye make up!) Ie your not the only one that spend 30 minutes in front of the mirror, I do too, however when I leave my house, the idea is no one sees anything out of the ordinary. and from 10 yrds or so, no one can see I'm wearing makeup, or items of female clothing.

To qoute " I would never get dressed in a car are you kidding me yuck"

Fine that your choice, however it is only your choice, not mine! My way of changing has been worked out over years, it is quick, discrete, and no one knows anything about my transformation if done in a quiet place. in minutes I can change from male to female, and then move on. ie how long or how difficult is it to in cert and slip on a dress, jumper/coat and shoes! add a wig, and my own mother wouldn't reconise me, all change from male to female, in about three minutes. And as I clearly pointed out once the basic are in place finishing and preening can take as long as you want where ever you want.!!!

As I said, this all depends on what you call passing, and to me passing is being Tracy in the real world, not in some club, gay bar, or hotel room. I use my method to discretely exit my home, where my family and friends live, without them having a clue about my unusual hobby. Once out it takes a discrete place and minutes for me to fully transform and then the day is mine, I can do what I like as Tracy and no one has a clue I'm a crossdresser and I can freely mingle. going home is a simple reverse ie remove makeup, baggy clothes and glasses and no one knows what the hell I have been doing not that they probably care anyway.

My point of this post was to show it is possible to get out in to the world discretely and be who you wish to be without any stress. and having done this, for 33+ years I think I have a good idea of what I'm doing.

I understand people need dressing services, but some of us don't, and many people will use this sort of method to discretely get out dressed. If you feel it Wrong fine your welcome to your view, but you must also accept that many CD/TV do this everyday to get out in to the real world, and that where I want to be, Not locked indoors, in four wall, or paying for some one to dress me up in the confines of there four safe wall, that not passing, nor is walking from the car, to the club, or bar. interacting with real people who see you as a female, is!!!

This method works for me and other, so please don't knock it, if it not for you fine, but it work for me!!!

[Tracy_Victoria]

Just remember one thing... It's called equal rights. Women wear mens clothes all the time, heck they make menswear for women. If other people don't like what your wearing, that is their problem, not yours.

I'm sure many a TV that has just been beaten up, have said that very same thing!, But sadly it probably didn't stop them from getting a good kicking! You can quote equal rights all you want,however it didn't stop Martin Luther King from getting shot did it!!! Want the names of a 100 others? , your rights won't stop you getting a pasting from a bunch of small minded idiots, if your foolish enough to wander in to there neck of the woods alone! (crossdressed, or sometimes just being there!!!)

Good rules of thumb

Be discrete,
Don't stand out
Look the part, not over the top
Have confidence
Don't make yourself a target
Be were you are for a reason, not a desire.

Most of all, don't go, where a single woman would never be caught alone, ie dark parks at night, dark corners of car parks, secluded areas, etc.

I think my bi-line, say it all!!!

[Debie]

Hi Melissa

I told you that I would post a thread about my first day out dressed, you can find it here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=104801
Hope this will help, let me hear from you on what you think. Have a great Girl Day.

[Carly D.]

You gotta be prepared for the best of and the worst of doing this.. I am closeted and would love to go out and am taking baby steps towards that end but I don't pass, unless it's really dark and the person(s) I'm trying to fool are blind.. anyway my feeling is that I just want to wear what I like to wear, but I feel like I would have to try to pass or this is all for naught.. as far as being seen out in the public eye, I agree that this is what you want.. to be seen and mingle with the public..

[Tracy_Victoria]

You gotta be prepared for the best of and the worst of doing this.. I am closeted and would love to go out and am taking baby steps towards that end but I don't pass, unless it's really dark and the person(s) I'm trying to fool are blind.. anyway my feeling is that I just want to wear what I like to wear, but I feel like I would have to try to pass or this is all for naught.. as far as being seen out in the public eye, I agree that this is what you want.. to be seen and mingle with the public..

Carly

it is many dressers desire to be out, why I don't know, just we seem driven to do this. My first time was as scary as most, and in those early days I was read, and went places I was not ready to go, ie I was read in seconds, because I was just not dressed right.

Passing is possible for most, but in one form or another. ie someone seeing a Dresser from half a mile away and only seeing a woman, not the man he really is, is in fact passing, it not the same as walking in a crowded town surrounded by people, but no mater how your mistake for a woman, when that what people see, ie only a woman, than you have passed.

Slow steps is what is needed, your look needs to improve to get closer to people and belive me the desire to be out and do more makes you improve, well it did for me. However my one main piece of advice is stay away from quiet places in the dark, ie sulking from tree to tree in the middle of the night. there is always someone out there, and by doing something a RG would not be seen dead doing (ie along in a dark place) by doing it yourself you make yourself a target. (and many will tell you, when that happens it is not pleasent!, not Pleasent at all)

Good luck

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Ive been enjoying buying new clothes and dressing up at home but im really worried about going out in public. I worry about being noticed etc

has anyone got any advice for me or tips?

There are lots of Cd's who have gone out and have not got read, so they have this since of confidence that they have build up......then one day they get read and that confidence that they had is gone and the first thing that they do is hold there head down and try to find a place to hide.....then they come here looking for answers

Buying new clothes and dressing up at home dose not mean you are ready to go out in
public most Cd's start off buy going to tg friendly clubs and places at night going out in the day time is a real challenge for all of us and how you look and act is very important,
a lot of Cd's will not go out in the day but those who do are very confidence and know how to act.

The one thing I do when Cindy is out and about at night or in the day is when some one is looking at you DO NOT SHY AWAY it is a dead give away hold your head up and make eye contact with them and smile in other words STAND YOUR GROUND.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Bootsiegalore]

Wait!! Going out in public by definition is getting noticed? Isn't it? If you didn't get noticed then did you really go out in public? Lol

My stratagy has always been... Bust right in the front door.. Like you own the place!! Walk with your head held high.. Project an attitude that says you belong there dressed as you are and no one will give you a second, closer inspection.. Don't be timid and try to blend into the walpaper because all eyes will be drawn your way.. Like your trying to hide something..

Yeah I get noticed.. But I have had no issues with anyone..

That's my plan and its served me well..

Karen Has it.... I have been going out more now that my kids know....

I go to Walgreens and buy make-up and Pantyhose. I go out to sunday Lunch with my wife! It is AWESOME. Now and then I see a snicker. BUT no one has ever treated me badly.... Besides, this is AZ, - everyone packs heat! All sales assistantrs are lovely. I went to Dillards and bought an expensive pair of sunglasses and Tressor perfume.... The sales girls were all sweet and helpfull and referred to me as she and her. I do still get nervous though. But if you have the attitude, it works!

Tara

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I'm with Karen, agree whole heartedly except for the purple wig, that will surely get you noticed.

[Joy Carter]

You get a make over or something?? You look awesome!

I shamelessly took the picture of a popular dog trainer, Victoria Stillwell. She's just my idyllic woman. Looks pretty good to be forty she dose.

[Nicki B]

You know Karren you and I should use my rig and drive all over the country and give CDer that are in the closet and make them over Gorilla style.

Do you hate them that much?