Why is it always the really trashy people who are rude?

[Nicole Erin]

In my day to day look I am pretty feminine. Not the whole "CD'ed" thing but just an overall femme look.
Thing is, when I go to places like gas stations or walmart, if anyone is going to say anything or act stupid, it is always some real trashy person who looks like they are not classy enough to live in the ghetto. Someone who looks like they got their clothes out of a thrift store dumpster. And yet, they have a problem with MY looks? Yeah I might be wearing mid-thigh shorts and a pretty top but at least my stuff is laundered.

The other day I was at a gas station and some two 20 something year old idiots who sloutched as they walked, had coffee-stain looking white tees, unkept facial hair, unkept everything period were commenting amongst themselves about "F'in freak" and of course did not want to get in the same line as me...
Had a similar incident the week before from some disgusting looking wretch of a human at Walmart. That guy's hair was not clean enough to scrub a toilet with.

So what is up with that? Do nasty, trashy people have a problem with everyone or just us "queer" folks? Is it cause they know they are complete nasty losers who no one wants around so they have to try to make someone else feel bad?

It is easy to say "Well look at them, why worry what they think?" but gyod it IS insulting when when something that looks like it lives under an overpass is acting like someone like me, who knows what soap is, is the nasty one.

What is the deal with this riff raff anyways?

[Patricia1]

Dumb & dumber. Cream rises; sediment settles.

[Joy Carter]

They took the word respect out of school and replaced it with self esteem.

[docrobbysherry]

So what is up with that? Do nasty, trashy people have a problem with everyone or just us "queer" folks? Is it cause they know they are complete nasty losers who no one wants around so they have to try to make someone else feel bad?

I would say, "Yes, they do!". In MY experience, anyway. Unhappy folks of ANY ilk, seem to rag on whoever is in front of them at the moment.

[dilane]

They took the word respect out of school and replaced it with self esteem.

Times 2, Joy!

Way back when, we studied how the poorest whites were the most bigoted, they had a fancy name for it: "The frustration / Aggression Hypothesis".

If you feel you're on the bottom rung, there's a tendency to put someone else lower so you can feel superior.

[Sheila]

well, now bit of pot calling kettle there I would say ................ Rude peeps are rude peeps regardless of class, the better educated may use different phrases don't make em less insulting .... but as usaul just my

[Nicole Erin]

well, now bit of pot calling kettle there I would say ................ Rude peeps are rude peepd regardless of class, the better educated may use different phrases don't make em less insulting .... but as usaul just my

There is a difference here - Myself or most TG don't see one of the above-described trashy people and say things in public like "Eww someone call animal control!" or make an ass of ourselves just cause some bigoted idiot refuses to wash his clothes or cover up the fat rolls on her 45 inch waist.

Like the guys at the gas station, I am sure the EPA would arrest them for being as gross as they were but I didn't sit there and say "F'in toxic waste monsters" and put on a chemical suit just cause they were around.

[Jessica Who]

At the heart of putting someone down, there is always a reflection of inadequacy. What I mean to say is that these people who are commenting on your appearance are, in fact, unhappy with or not confident in their own.

[Lisa Golightly]

There is a difference here - Myself or most TG don't see one of the above-described trashy people and say things in public like "Eww someone call animal control!"

No but you obviously think it... I've dealt a lot with the poor, and in all honesty I've never had an issue and only ever received the best they can offer (including the offer of a can of super strong lager at 9am) and the most courteous of behaviour (I got the chair).

I never judge anyone by their appearance, wealth, or social standing and having grown up in a social wasteland amongst the victims of poverty can tell you it is perceived arrogance that often provokes a negative response.

So yeah I've stood alone a transsexual amongst street urchins and the worst I've ever heard from them was 'Nice car mister *laughter*'... lol... Doh!

[5150 Girl]

It's called lack of parenting. Most parents don't teach respect, courtacy, manners and such. THey just sit them in front of that glowing babysitter in the living room so they can go about their own buisness

[Persephone]

well, now bit of pot calling kettle there I would say ................ Rude peeps are rude peepd regardless of class, the better educated may use different phrases don't make em less insulting .... but as usaul just my

Absolutely!

[Satrana]

Can't say I have noticed this myself but there is logic in the argument that people who don't care about their own appearance may mock those who expand effort in looking good whereas you are more likely to receive compliments from other people who like to look good.

On the other hand what you may be experiencing is the behavioral trend in people who are poorer, less well educated and more susceptible to projecting prejudices.

[Alice Torn]

Crassness, lack of manners,lack of self control, dumbed down everything, are rampant today, and lack of responsible parenting is a lot of it, and, as someone already pointed out, about schools not teaching respect, and responsibility. No wonder the streets are becoming so mean, and brutal, and love is rare. The way society dresses, has really gone down the tubes. I just watched a 1954 movie, and it was certainly a time, when women dressed nicer, with nicer hairstyles, too. I live in a rough blue collar area in Tacoma Wa, and it is scary around here. I would not go out dressed as Louise, in this area. Some thugs would not be far.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

What is the deal with this riff raff anyways?

A complete lack of sophistication, education, personality and a poor upbringing, to name a few.

I know the type you're talking about. Got 'em plenty in my town!

The best way to attack this attitude is to better educate society as a whole about people like us. Once we're no longer seen as freaks for simply being ourselves, attitudes like this won't be as plentiful.

At the same time - what does it matter what some low-lives think? I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but it's true. They'll make idiotic comments about anyone for anything so long as it doesn't fit their limited view of "what should and should not be". Their rude comments are not limited to transgendered folks.

[Christina Horton]

Is it possible that you have a little chip on your shoulder and they sense that hun. Maybe you lost your tolerances with people and they sense it on you like a bear senses that you scared . That could be But I am not sure.

Just a thought. My

[deja true]

Anybody else see a connection between this thread and the recent 'internalised transphobia' threads?

A lack of self respect leads to a lack of respect for others...

[insearchofme]

For people who feel bad about themselves it is self affirming to make fun of others. It's just human nature.

[Sarah...]

...trashy person...

...not classy enough...

...idiots who sloutched...

...wretch of a human...

...guy's hair was not clean enough to scrub a toilet with...

...nasty, trashy people...

...complete nasty losers who no one wants around...

...something that looks like it lives under an overpass...

...riff raff...

Yes. There sure are some intolerant people around. They generalise about others and fail to understand that everyone has feelings.

Life would undoubtedly be worse if everyone was that intolerant. We definitely need to work together to ensure we don't go down that road.

It was disappointing to read the OP here. Factual reporting of hate incidents is one thing. Incendiary hyperbole is quite another.

Sarah...

[Karren H]

Remind me not to visit Indiana any time soon...

[mklinden2010]

People wind up at the bottom of the social barrel, and stay there, for a variety of reasons. People who willfully hurt others, to no one's profit, tend to sink to the bottom and stay there. No surprise, when you think about it. The people you describe seem to be, in large part, self-defeating. Maybe it's what they know, maybe it's what they think they deserve. And, it's not just the poor and unwashed who behave poorly; those higher up may be trying to hang on, but for their own reasons realize they may be sliding down the social scale... Somehow.

None of that is your particular problem, until you meet them. Then, you have to realize that they want something from you, from the exchange. People, in any exchange, either give or take. Beating you up is taking from you. Give them something else. Make 'em feel smarter and better without them having to beat up on you more. Say, "Hey, good one! You got me there! Hey, fellas, you guys like fishing? (Baseball, trucks, girls) Who you think is gonna win the tournament, off road contest, Jimmy's wet t-shirt contest?" It won't hurt to try, and it may turn a nasty exchange into at least a, "Well, that went OK" one.

Social judo... It's not just for Miss USA contestants anymore.

[StevieTV]

Dumb & dumber. Cream rises; sediment settles.

Becareful, cream does rise but so does scum. People with ignorant attitudes can be found everywhere.
I believe constructive criticism is good, insults are just words coming from a closed mind.

[paulaN]

I understand your point very well. I have not experienced it wile dressed yet. (notice I said yet). I live in Maine and there seems to be a ton of it here. I think it has a lot to do with lack of education and poverty. Maine is full of ignorant people. Any thing any different than them selfs is not right in there world. And that is all there is to it. And in my old age I am finding it harder and harder to deal with ignorant people of any kind and at any place. I went to a graduation Saturday and in the program was a note that said (please remove your hats). I pointed that out to my mother who was with me. When the anthem was started I counted in my field of view three people with hats on. If I could have reached them I would have pointed the note on the program out too them. The thing is it would have done no good what so ever. Ignorants is a pet peeve of mine. Rant over.

[featherelizabeth]

Have experienced prejudice like this, dressed or not, short hair or long....find comedy in their tragedy...

[Jilmac]

It sounds as if you have had some experience with these people Nicole. It's not always the trashy ones either some well kept and well educated people insist on putting down others to make them feel better about themselves. Ignorance and intolerance has as much to do with it as their own self esteem. The way I see it is if people don't like me because of the clothes I choose to wear, they can all go to that hot place where the devil lives.

[docrobbysherry]

A lack of self respect leads to a lack of respect for others...

No one can say it better, or plainer language, than that!