Having a hard time convincing my wife to let me keep my legs shaved

[rebecca_morris_75]

Sorry in advance if this topic has been discussed to death

In the wintertime I always wear pants, never shorts. I don't wear swimtrunks or shorts until usually late May/June. But during the wintertime I like to keep my legs (and everything else) smooth. I could probably just not wear shorts during the summer and just stick to jeans.

I'd like to keep my legs shaved year-round, but she is not really 100% excited about the idea. She doesn't mind it during the winter/cold months, when she knows that I'd be covered up. We take a week long summer vacation every year with her family at the beach, so I would definitely be wearing shorts, and she's worried someone in her family would say something. They know I don't swim competitively and that it wouldn't be for athletic reasons. We just got back from the vacation last weekend, and I haven't shaved since May, and am DYING to do it right now. Is there something I can possibly say to convince her that it's not that big of a deal? I definitely want to respect her wishes, but this hair has GOT to go!

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

Rebecca,

Maybe you can talk to your wife and tell her that you aren't comfortable with hairy legs. I keep my legs shaved all year around and I go swimming and wear shorts and no one even notices. I never liked hairy legs but I used to worry about it then one day a year and half ago , I said the helk with it I'm shaving my legs and I never looked back. My wife even said that I look better without body hair. If anyone would ever ask which I highly doubt, just tell them this,MYOB! (Mind Your Own Business)



Felicity

[Christina Horton]

Try this and ask her to look and other men's legs and arms and see what she See's. I am sure she will like this, and she might fine that hair can not be seen and highly as she thinks . She might even see some men have there legs shaved just cuz they are too hairy. No one has ever said or do the realise I shave. Only when it grows back will people see it. Just tell her that people don't care to much if a man has shaved cuz it is not there worrie box.
If it does not affect them then they just don't see it. We all see whet we want to and don't see whats standing right in front of them.

That's why most of us who go out dressed don't have a prob and why some people are so worried about whats going on in there lives that they just don't care to notice these things.

[MissConstrued]

Do it, then tell your wife that you're a leader, not a follower. See, if more men shaved their legs, more men would then shave their legs. People, by and large, are sheep. Most men won't do something like that unless they see enough of their friends or peer group doing it... and therein lies the conondrum.

Maybe, just maybe, there are friends of yours wishing they too could rid themselves of leg hair, but are afraid because they think no one else is. Step out, lead the pack, and others will follow. Soon enough, you'll all be sheep again... shorn sheep... and you'll both be happy.

And really... do her grooming habits require your stamp of approval? Hypocrisy rears its ugly head.

[Sarah Doepner]

Consider the torture machine, the epilator. If you use it occasionally on your legs you get a couple of results (other than the electric pain). The hair that comes back in is usually a little finer than what you removed. So if you use it in the winter and spring and don't shave in the summer, you have less hairy legs. The other option is to use it to thin what hair you have on your legs during the summer. Still some hair there for your bride to see, but much less than you would normally have. After a couple of summers of progressively more aggressive use you have nearly smooth legs all year long.

[chrissie-h]

Sorry if I sound like the odd one out, but it seems to me that you've got a pretty good arrangement with your wife already. It appears as though your wife is comfortable with you shaving your legs. She's worried about the potential backlash of criticism and disapproval from friends and family. You may be ready to deal with that, but your wife may not. I know its a pain having to grow your hair again just to fit in with society's expectations. It's really a question of how much you want to push things ... and risk your marriage. As a compromise, you could keep your hair short by using clippers over the summer months and see how things go from there? (Sarah's suggestions sound good too.)
Just a thought.

[Gerard]

Make up a medical reason if anyone asks?

Heat makes it go ichy, and applying creme X solves the issue but the hairs get in the way of applying it?

Or you need physiotherapy and massages due to sitting/standing too much (whatever applies), and the tugging on the hairs hurts so they had to go? (I know some football* players shave their legs to make massaging them not hurt.)

Make up some excuse the family will buy if the ask, and see if your wife is ok with it then. otherwise maybe give in, a relationship is a two way street.

*) That's Soccer to you Americans.

[Teri Jean]

Maybe she would be okay with you using a clippers to cut them shorter and then bleaching them so they are less noticeable. Just a thought. Many men shave them and it isn't an issue.

Teri

[Carly D.]

THE ITCH THE ITCH... I feel for you.. I thought I'd let my leg hair grow back to see how it feels.. YUCK!!! man I hate leg hair.. so what do you do to convince her you want to have your legs shaved?? well two ideas come to mind; one just do it and tell her you feel better this way.. or the second idea is to shave your legs and wear pantyhose with shorts and say you just feel REALLY comfortable this way..

[rebecca_morris_75]

chrissy-h brought up a really good point. The first time I shaved (I've only been doing it for about a two years now) I didn't tell her, but surprised her. She couldn't tell they were shaved until she felt them. Then she laughed and said "I'm not sure how I feel about the possibility of your legs being smoother than mine all the time". She did say it looked good, but, at the end of the day, I'm not trying to push the issue too far. I do think I'm pretty fortunate, although I know some of you have it even better than me.

I just hate the feeling (and the look) of pantyhose practically pulling my leg hair out

[Joanie_Shakti]

Sorry in advance if this topic has been discussed to death

In the wintertime I always wear pants, never shorts. I don't wear swimtrunks or shorts until usually late May/June. But during the wintertime I like to keep my legs (and everything else) smooth. I could probably just not wear shorts during the summer and just stick to jeans.

Where I live, it is so hot in the summer (116 F predicted for Saturday) that I find I always stick to jeans.

I don't have a solution on how to convince your wife but just wanted to share something a friend told me. I'm about as hairy as bigfoot and wear shorts year round. I just started shaving my legs (as well as grooming the rest of my body) a couple of months ago. When I revealed my new, (mostly) hairless body to a GG who is a good friend that I've known for years, I told her that I was really self conscious about the legs in shorts. She told me that lots of men shave their legs. Since she is a masseuse in trade, she sees a lot of different people in her work so I figure her observation in an accurate one.

When I first went out after shaving, I thought everyone was going to point and stare. All I've seen is indifference if anyone's even noticed at all. I think keeping them smooth will be less obvious than having a week's worth or so of nubs.

[AllieSummers]

A ton of guys now days shave their legs. Every book I've ever bought on excercise programs/working out mention shaving your body. It shows your muscle definition better.

Just do it. If someone asks just say that you don't like having hairly legs. Leave it at that. What are they going to say or think and what difference does it make?

They aren't going to jump to the conclusion tha tjust because you have shaved legs that you are a crossdresser.

They are going to need to love your for who you are.

I've shaved my legs for years, years before I ever came out to my wife.

If it is that much of a problem you can also do what I did. Start by trimming them. Then triim them closer and closer until one day you go shaved all the way.

Kisses,

Allie

[PetiteDuality]

I have a problem similar as yours. I only shaved my legs once, but have shaved chest several times.

She doesn't mind the look, but she says that is not normal for a guy to be concerned about his body hair (is she telling me that shaving is a gay behavior? Hmmm.... maybe)

And I'm a bit self conscious when my legs are shaved. My parents found about my crossdressing when I was a teen, and although it has never been mentioned again, I'm afraid that it would bring it back.

I have the athletic excuse (I run). But this is not a good excuse. Serious bikers admit that the main reason for shaving is aesthetics, and that all the other "reasons" (wind resistance, massage, scratches healing faster, etc), are just BS. If they were true, they'd shave their arms too. But biking does not develop nice and toned arms

Ask your wife what does she fear. Does she think that her relatives will think that you are gay? That they will suspect you are a crossdresser? By the way, does she know you crossdress?

I know it's not fair. Genders are not equal. Why can't we show more (hairless) skin? Women can show legs, feet, shoulders, even cleavage. They can wear tight clothes. We can't even groom as we like for fear of what others might think. Awful!

[MsSamanthaErica]

Some great replies already but thought I would throw in my

Many pro (and semi-pro) bike riders and swimmers shave their legs for improved performance. If you're into either you may want to consider that approach.

Other than that you can try the bleaching/thinning approach. Thinning probably makes more sense. Or just talk to your wife about your feelings and see if you can come to a compromise. Even gradually cutting them back with trimmers over the warm months may lead to people not noticing as much until you can have them smooth all the time.

[rebecca_morris_75]

Thanks so much for all your replies! For the record, she knows I crossdress, although I rarely do it around her. We've been shopping before and she thought it was kind of fun. She knows that I like to keep my leg hair short (or non-existent) because it looks and feels better to me.

I think I'll talk to her this weekend about it (we haven't done talked about it since March I think) and see how she feels about me keeping it trimmed or something. She doesn't mind the way it looks herself, I just think she's worried about what others are going to say (which I am not).

Thanks again!

[JulieC]

Sorry if I sound like the odd one out, but it seems to me that you've got a pretty good arrangement with your wife already. ...It's really a question of how much you want to push things ... and risk your marriage. As a compromise, you could keep your hair short by using clippers over the summer months and see how things go from there? (Sarah's suggestions sound good too.)
Just a thought.

Chrissie hit it on the head.

As crossdressers, we often have a tendency to be sad about our circumstance and wish it were just a bit better.

Never realizing of course that how we have it is a lot better than some other crossdressers have it.

It sounds to me like a compromise position your wife has given you. Be thankful. That's not to say accept it and never ask, but be thankful for what you do have.

[Sarah_GG]

Before I met my SO I never noticed how hairy (or not) mens legs were at the beach or swimming etc. I just never looked. Now I do look because I'm looking for telltale signs of crossdressing

My ex had completely smooth and hairless legs (by nature) and in the eight years we were together no one ever noticed or said a word. I didn't think it was unusual at all. Perhaps it depends how hirsute you are to start with? My son, for example, has a veritable forest on his legs - if they were suddenly hair free I would probably notice (but would anyone else?).

Most men don't look at other men's bodies. And most women don't look at other men's bodies either, certainly not a detail like hairy legs. I'm sure no one would notice.

0y SO does still have hairy arms and I would be reluctant for him to shave them off but just because I think it would look odd (although if he wanted to he could). Having shaved the chest hair off in male mode he looks ten years younger!

It's a dilemma! And I guess if your wife is accepting in many ways then why upset the apple art by making this an issue? You could always shave them for a special day and let them grow back again?

[Angie G]

I don't go out dressed. I do shave my legs and do so all year long. Only 2 have ever said anything one was my 3 yr. old granddaughter and one of my older granddaughters girlfriends to the GD's girlfriend I just said yes when she asked if I shave my legs. And she then she said nothing else.
Angie

PS I'm keeping my underarms shaved all summer also

[DianneW]

My wife works in a drug store, health & beauty. She tells me everyday men will come in to buy ladies razors & creams for hair removal. Many men will ask her for help in selecting the right products. Some have even told her that these are for themselfs, that they want a nice clean look when at the beach.

[Di]

Don't Rock the boat..........sounds like she is supportive and if ALL she is asking for comfort level to not shave during the summer months REALLY NOW is that so much to ask?

[Evelyn]

Hi Rebecca.

Whilst I can understand and sympathise with your wife's views on this, surely its time to have a long conversation with her about how you really feel. Establish that this is not a whim, but something that is very important to your identity.

You live with the consequences of such a conversation, I know, but surely you have to do it for the sake of your sanity.

If anyone does notice the lack of hair, which I very much doubt, let alone actually comments on it, just tell them that you have to do it so you can slither inside your latex sex suit. Just watch their envious faces drop.

Be hairless and smooth...be free. xx

[Olivia]

I started shaving my legs three years ago. We live in a small Texas town. Believe me, no one else cares if you shave them and if they do, then so what? These are your legs right? I've not had one negative comment about my shaved legs in this redneck town. Since I started shaving my legs, I've been careful to note other men with shaved legs. There are really quite a few out there who shave for various reasons. Please assure your wife that it is not that big of a deal, at least not anymore.

We had a large party here at our house a couple years ago. I was talking with a group of my wife's friends when the subject of shaving came up. I said, "why, I shave my legs too girls!" I was wearing white denim, ladies' Levis shorts and everyone of course looked at my smooth, tanned legs. After addressing a few questions, I also pointed out that I shaved all the hair from my body now, and then I tried to encourage several of their husbands to try it. One of the girls said that she just had to feel my legs. Sure, I told her, go right ahead. Her husband was watching and laughing and when I offered him the same "feel", he quickly said no, lol.

Please hun, if you want them shaved whenever you'd like, go right ahead. Simply put, it's not that big of a deal anymore. Have a great day! Olivia

[dawnmarrie1961]

Assuming that you wife isn't into the " el natural" look that she does shave her own legs ,and you do have an ample supply of razors & shaving cream or Nair hair remover on hand. I don't see what the problem should be. Athletes shave their legs for sports. Like swimming. It cuts down on the resistance and makes them move faster. Even a 1/10 of a millisecond makes a big difference.

So ,unless you've got better looking legs then your wife and need to be worried about leg envy, just do it anyway. If she doesn't like it. Tough luck!! They are "your" legs!

If she wants hairy legs tell her to stop shaving hers for a while. Or get a dog.:devil

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sounds like you and your wife are having an issue with boundries. Put the hair on the proverbial other leg, how would you feel if your spouse decided to stop shaving her legs for a year or two ? Sometimes you have to respect the boundry. relationships can be very fragile at times, push too hard and they can break.

It's amusing at times to read posts about how to 'convince' someone else of something we want, rather then sitting down and having a frank discussion. If you dress all year, especially if you go out dressed, then it would be logical to be shaved. 'Inventing' any other reason is being dishonest with yourself and others.

I think honesty will be best in this situation.

Kelly

[Bluesman]

Take up cycling.