Can you give up crossdressing?

[Brenda Locke]

Can I give up crossdressing ?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. After repressing the desire for 15yr's due too my work and living arrangements. Finially getting my own place allowed me too release Brenda and let her be free.
Having said that, just being Brenda is just so relaxing and in a way rewarding for me it would be impossible for me to give up...
I find that Brenda is slowly taking over, to the point that when I am not working, I am at the very least underdressed all the time, and quiet comfortable being so.
I don't know if going full time is coming in the future or not but at this time I am not concidering it. But hey who knows things happen ,things change, that's life after all.

Brenda

[theresa]

Nathalie,

Short answer. No way! I will always have the need to present myself as Theresa.

But you've asked the fundamental question. Why is crossdressing even an issue? On a fundamental level, we're simply talking about exchange of clothing. Probably wasn't an issue hundreds of thousands of years ago when everyone ran around naked. But now society has established "norms" which say that people wear clothing, and that males are identified by certain types of clothing while females are identified by somewhat different (and better!) styles of clothing.

So perhaps what we are talking about here, is not so much what clothing we are wearing, but what gender is being presented. For me, I know that when I dress as Theresa, I'm really trying to present myself as female. If society readily accepted men wearing little black skirts, I doubt I would find much joy in wearing those black skirts and would switch to whatever society had established as social "norms" for women to wear. For me, I think it's not so much what society has forced upon me, but rather, how I have interpreted societal norms for "what is female" and applied those norms toward my desire to present myself as Theresa.

[Jaclyn NM]

No, I can't give it up, and I've tried many times, but keep coming back. I guess it's just a part of me, and I have stopped fighting it. Besides, it's my favorite part of who I am.

[Mardi]

No, never, no way

[TGMarla]

Can you give up crossdressing?
I don't know. I don't think so. I've never really seriously tried to.

Do I want to give up crossdressing?

Well, no...I really don't want to. What I'd rather give up is the stigmas attached to it, the secrecy involved, and any guilt or shame about it in any way. I'd like to not think about it day in and day out, and not have this constant craving to dress up and be feminine.

Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?

Heck yeah, it's affected me. How much time have I spent crossdressing when I might have been doing much more productive things? How many times have I forgone other activities, and made reasons to be home by myself for long periods of time just so I could crossdress? How much money have I spent on this which could have been spent elsewhere and more wisely? It's an omnipresent part of my life that never leaves me alone. How could it NOT affect me?

Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?

I think it's because it gets imprinted on your being. It becomes a part of your blueprints. It's not like other activities, as it involves gender, and thus presents a way of approaching life that we otherwise miss. It's a part of life as a human being that is denied to us as men, and so it teases and tantalizes us like forbidden fruit.

Is it still a big secret?

Not to my wife. She knows. I don't think she knows how far I take it, though. And my immediate family found out, but I doubt they have any details as to just what it is that I do. Generally, I don't tell other people about it, and as far as I know, other than my immediate relatives, no one is aware of this part of me. And no one is aware of just how deep it goes with me. I've told one friend who found my Flickr page, and that's all.

Will you always be a crossdresser?

I think so. If it was going to stop, it probably would have done so by now. And as long as I feel that I'd rather have been a woman to begin with, I doubt the desire to "be" a woman will ever go away. I don't know what it's like to not be a crossdresser. Perhaps it's like addictions in that once you are one, you'll always be one, whether you partake or not.

Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?

I would. And I have done so. But I doubt I'm ever going to be some kind of Transgender Warrior about it. But when others need help, or need to talk, I usually do it. I'm happy to help.

[shycd1]

I have tried and I have failed, so for me no.

[lowlavalentine]

Pretty much hard wired as far as I can tell. Had a cd friend once who claimed she was "cured" of crossdressing through some sort of religious experience. Turned out she returned to worship at the altar of her feminine side after a short while. There have been times in my life where I thought how simple things would be if I didn't dress, but simplicity is overrated.

[Christina Horton]

Why would I want to stop ("I love love love love being a Crossdresser")!!!!!

[DaisyG]

Can you give up crossdressing?

I tried numerous times but it never works. The urge always returns.

Do I want to give up crossdressing?

No. Probably never.

Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?

Certainly it has. Second only to my 39 year marriage, CD has had the most significant impact upon me over nearly all my 70 years.

Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?

It seems to be hardwired. I'm not sure even brain surgery could re-route the circuits.

Is it still a big secret?

Yes. My wife was the only person I'm aware of who knew. Probably because at my (pre internet) age, I grew up with a huge load of guilt, and isolated my soul so much I thought I was the only CD in the world. Only in the last couple of years have I got enough of a handle on myself that I'm considering coming out to my grown grandchildren.

Will you always be a crossdresser?

I wouldn't at all be surprised to carry CD to my grave.

Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?

Absolutely. I have supported CD and transgendered people on the web for years. I will continue to do so but wish my support not pull me out of the closet when I don't want to go.

Good provocative and thought-searching set of questions!

Daisy

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NO

I DON"T WANT TO

YES IT HAS AFFECTED ME

CANNOT STOP - TRIED TO - CAN'T

NOT AS BIG A SECRET AS IT USED TO BE

ABSOLUTELY

JoAnne Wheeler

[Emma Leigh]

If I could give it up, I probably wouldnt have wrecked the lives of my partner and kids, and maybe wouldnt be typing this from my mothers spare room. Sorry for sounding depressing, but thats how it is.

[Samantha43]

Do I want to give up crossdressing?
I couldn't even if I wanted to. I learned long ago to embrace it and enjoy it.

Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?
Yes. I believe it has made me more tolerant of people in general. It's allowed me to experience things that a "normal" guy would never experience.

Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?
I have no idea.

Is it still a big secret?
My immediate family knows. Other than that, it's a secret, and I prefer it that way.

Will you always be a crossdresser?
Yes.

Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?
It might make me uncomfortable, but I would probably do it.

[ReneeT]

As if I was unsure of the answer, I have proof, yet again. I gave it all up last January, and fell back on the wagon today! It feels nice to be home!

[Charleen]

no.

[Jayne]

I agree with all your points and feel the same.

My honest answer is no I can't stop.

[Rachel05]

Can you give up crossdressing?

I no longer think about it because I no longer want to, I did when younger and more confused, but now it is part of me

Do I want to give up crossdressing?

No

Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?

It has affected me yes but not in a negative way and now it is as much part of my life as anything else

Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?

I don't know but it is or it was when younger

Is it still a big secret?

My wife knows because she found me out but she will not talk about it with me, but it has made it easier for me to live with tat is for sure

Will you always be a crossdresser?

Yes for sure, there is no way I want to stop and it harms no one, started at 8 and now 50, so it has been with me a wee while

Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?

Well when I first came to this forum, I found that a little tough to start with but it is getting easier, I think it is hard to share when you have lived this life all alone for so many years

[Magickman]

The more important question is, "Why would I want to?"

[victoriamwilliams1]

Do I want to give up crossdressing?

I tried and it was stronger each time. I do take breaks fro dressing for up to 30 days

Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?

Yes, in a positive way

Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?

It is like an addiction for some and like a thrill ride for some and like both you push the boundries.

Is it still a big secret?

YES! However I am out in the public

Will you always be a crossdresser?

I think one day I will stop.

Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?

Yes I do in the online world.

[bimini1]

I think it depends on the person, some can, some can't some will some won't.

I think CDing can give up you before you can give up it.

My Cding has caused more stress than it has relieved. It stresses me out on a daily basis, especially when I hear co-workers make derrogatory remarks about people like me.

[camillegirl]

I have tried and thrown out a fortune in clothes, but I am old enough to see myself as I am, therefore the answer would be no, if it is in you, it is, if it isn`t then you can give it up.

[danielle.cd]

i think at some point we all have tried and with no sucess, the minute i try to go against how i feel i find my self going and buying more things whithin a week, in the last two years i purged twice for my wifes sack saying never again but with in two weeks of each time i had bought half the makeup and clothes again, i was feeling ashamed that i couldnt keep my promise to my wife, who didnt call me out on it until i sat her down and fully explained that i have tried so many times to quite but its like cutting off an arm or some thing its part of me and i cant just stop u married ME and thats a part of me if we accept it now it will save us alot more money, she was fine after that and i respect her now and dont throw it in her face because we both had ACCEPTED it! until u do that your gana go thru alot of money

[FireflyGG]

to be honest, I hope that my SO never does. It's a part of who she is and I love that about her. I fully support Melissa and everything about her and she's a part of my relationship with my SO. If she decided for herself that it was something she wanted to end, we would have to sit down and seriously talk it out. I would want to know why. I can't suddenly decide not to be bi, and I feel that my SO can't suddenly decide not to like stockings and heels and skirts. So we're in this for the long haul.

[Emme]

Never: I am lucky that I have accepted Wendi Emme Thomas as me!

The years of thinking I was the only CD on earth were lonely. As we get older and mellow out a little, what others think is not so important. What I think about me is important, AND WHAT YOU MY SISTERS.......... THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.......THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT.

I am comfortable in my own skin(as oily as it is) LOL

I may not be very pretty, and I may be extremely tall, but I can be happy with myself.
I does not matter who knows. We do nothing wrong, there is nothing to give up.

OK I confess: I buy too many coats, dresses and shoes. I might could slow down on that
but that is just the real girl trapped inside my big ole male body.

I LOVE MY GIRLS

[kimmy p]

Me? No.

[Lacelover]

I am the same as the rest of us. The answer is no. I don't have as many opportunities as I used to, but have learned to make the most of them. I also am glad to have found this community and get a lot of emotional support from everyone here.
Lacelover