Going out for the first time, should I tell anyone?

[Nicole Erin]

"I am really nervous to do this. Shopping is hard but I get a rush. I almost got caught last night when the wife came home early so I went ahead and told her. It actually went well. So far I have just been to a couple drag clubs. No one knows I do this but my wife and a few drag friends. I am thinking of going out during the day en femme but where should I go and how to act? I just feel really sexy when dressed up. I worry when people look, what if they know?

That would have been my thread if it were summer of 1998 and I was here.
Pretty familiar stuff yeah?

Now fast forward to today.
Going out en femme is just the natural thing to do, pass or not. Shopping for women's things is no longer any kind of rush. I am too old to be sitting around in some drag club.
And for telling the wife? Well, she long knows of course and it is one of the factors that she said led to our coming separation/divorce (details still at work).
The fun gets replaced with normal life. The wife's "cool with it" finally got to be no more. Friends are far and few between. The feeling of sexy turned to "I better watch my back". The thought of "OH gyod they are staring and they know!" has become "Oh joy, some SOB can't mind his own business". Family knows and "still loves me cause I am their brother/son/uncle..." yeah I know what they are REALLY thinking. "If only people knew" has become "if only people accepted".

So, newbies to the TG life, there is your answer. Being CD/TS starts out fun and adventures but can eventually consume your life once you step out of the closet. No it does not happen overnight but eventually you start having probems in life that you never even thought of before. Yes you start thinking, either knowingly or speculatively, that being TG is the cause of many other problems. Yes you do sometimes think of suicide.
The worst part is, you cannot just give up being who you are.

Stepping out of the closet is very fun at first, but you start getting hooked, want to push things, and before you know it, you become "her" in many ways. It is like a drug - fun at first but you become needy of it and eventually it ruins things in your life.

Back in the old MSN chat rooms back then, some of the TS women had warned me of all this. Hell I was 24, I knew everything, I didn't listen to them. So now, tho not much older, I guess I can warn other TG women who may or may not listen to me.

[Holly]

I'm sure your description fits your reality, but it would be unfair to leave the impression that your results are predetermined for everyone in the trans-gender spectrum. I've been crossdressing for longer than you've been drawing breath and my wife and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary in a few days. Yesterday I had lunch (dressed) with my 25 year old daughter in a restaurant. The result you describe is not unavoidable. I hope as you turn to a new page in your life, you find some contentment.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've been crossdressing for longer than you've been drawing breath and my wife and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary in a few days. Yesterday I had lunch (dressed) with my 25 year old daughter in a restaurant.

Congratulations Holly!

[KELLYANN]

HI ERIN. i know how you feel sometimes. occasionlly, i fell like i've lost my LUSTER. i've met so many 'girl' friends in the last 5-7 yrs. and have been very happy going out. shopping, clubs, events, get togethers etc. as i get older, i realize it's harder for me. worn arthritic hands, can't hide 'em. (turn wrenches for a living) not complaining' love what i do. sometimes i feel like and old girl who should be put out to pasture. i do my best to be KELLY i always will. if i live to be 100. just the girl in me. HANG IN THERE

[Christina Horton]

Ok Hun you have some challenges good and bad but not every one will have that bad experience , hopefully. I wish everybody could at least be as good as mine. You have excepted who you are and that is the first and most important step in a TGs life. The rest is in the hands of the TG and for them to make there life with the people around them right. My advice is be yourself and be true to your loved one's. If that means that they leave you cuz they can't be with a person that lied to themselves and them well I guess that is up to the TG and the SO. You can't go through life lying to yourself about who you are or lying to your Wife/husband/girl/boyfriend or kids. The Kids is of course up the the parents to tell them but (IMHO) I think they should grow up knowing this.

If you have not excepted yourself or think you can give it up I am afraid it is almost not possible. Some have done it But I think they will (fall of the wagon) some day.

Erin I know you have had a rough time in your life , you still have my # if you ever need to talk call me day or night and I will only yell at you for waking me up then I will be there for you hun.

If your reading this and feel you need help then just get help . It will be worth it believe me.