Rip and tear..or..a more gentle approach?

[Rogina B]

We have the discussion going on what feminine means as well as one about changes as a result of CDing..What about how you carry out the simple tasks of life? Do you do it smart like a girl would ?Or rough and tough like a guy would? Has that changed over time? I used to rip and tear any package open while my wife would smartly use the scissors to do the same.Tear the price tag attachment on clothes vs cut handily with scissors..Carry something heavy in your arms vs getting the two wheeler.Firmly closing the truck door vs gently. So,because of your increasing feminine personna,are you taking a kinder,more gentle approach to many things,including handling people problems? Are you learning a smarter,more feminine approach along with brushing up on mannerisms? I find myself changing.

[bron]

Good observation Rogina......i find i don't rip open letters anymore...i use my long fingernails....as for mannerisms, my partner always points out how i hold a cracker or hold a glass of wine.....she thinks i do that in a very feminine way...which i take as a compliment.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

thats a really great question...

My answer is some yes and some no...i still rip (in fact, half the time i get.."uhh maam your tag is hanging of your jeans"....heh)...i am not a good housekeeper, i slam the door, i pop the top off my beer and try to get into the trashcan. i still come into my house, throw my coat into a pile and kick off my shoes...

however, i've always been a bit feminine in some of my mannerisms and so my answer would be that very little has changed

[Kate Simmons]

Are you kidding, I still rip and tear. Traits are not limited to gender after all. My good left hook ain't going anywhere either.

[Loni]

it is a requrment to rip open a package.

some things i do as a boy and some as a girl. just being my self.
i do have to keep a eye open that not to much is done "girley" at work.

.

[minalost]

One thing is for sure, growing your finger nails out FORCES you to do some things in a more fem way!

[sherri52]

I still rip open a package and will most likely ball up the paper and try to make two points in the trash can across the room. I will pick up immediately if I miss. I don't slam a door as hard as I used to but I'm not entirely gentle. Cleaning is more refined as well as making sure my clothes match perfectly and that there are no wrinkles. Some things chang and others not so much.

[Alicia Grey]

It all depends on how I'm feeling at the time, I can be gentle when in a femme mood (dressed or not), or growl like a bear if I'm disturbed while engaged in a task.

On the whole I do think the femme persona has had a soothing effect on my behavior, in dealing with inanimate objects like packages, opening them with scissors instead of a hunting knife.

[Katesback]

OMG that is such a good question. I being TS know this one all too well. Also having been very mechanically inclined I can tell you my story.

I used to like to work on my cars and stuff. Now days after the hormones have made me much weaker I have little desires to mess with mechanical stuff anymore.

For me to change the oil in the truck is a big affair. First of all I have to be halfway in the mood to do it. Second I have to go excersize so I get all sweaty and yuckey in the first place. Third a supply of rubber gloves has to be available, forth I find that I do have to plan the whole thing out more because I dont have the strength I used to have. My best friend is the air compressor and impact wrench for big stuff.

Yes I do do it all girly but then often I get pissed as I am doing this stuff because I dont have the strength to do what I used to!!! Guess now you can see how it is a major affair to get me out to work on stuff these days!

Katie

[Christina Horton]

Great Question hun.

Yes I find that since I found my fem-self and let her blossom , I find that I am more gentle with 90% of what I do. Before I had to get rid of my pretty painted long nails , I found that "like said above" the nails teach you how to move your hands in a fem-way. When I am home or alone I walk and move more fem then if I am out at a truck stop etc. So Ya I find that I am much more fem......I still get pisst off when I have a stupid 4 wheeler doing something dangerous on the highway. Then I am all man , curse and swear etc. I have been driving truck way to long.

[Lorileah]

someday, when I am old, there will be no more "girls do this and boys do that". Girls slam car doors, often more than the guy who just spent 50K on that car. Some men use letter openers and some women rip the flap. Some women walk like men and some men walk like women and no one ever does all the things that people here expect them to do because of gender roles. The harder you try and cubbyhole yourself into a stereotypical behavior the more you stand out. In today's world females can and do, do the same things guys do.

[Stitch]

Are you kidding, I still rip and tear. Traits are not limited to gender after all. My good left hook ain't going anywhere either.

Lol, exactly.

I love ripping open packages, it's so much fun. On special occasion's like Christmas and Birthday's I like to make the biggest mess possible with the wrapping.

As for those labels with the little plastic doodads that attach them.. I bite through them, that's if tearing doesn't work.

[Persephone]

One thing is for sure, growing your finger nails out FORCES you to do some things in a more fem way!

someday, when I am old, there will be no more "girls do this and boys do that". Girls slam car doors, often more than the guy who just spent 50K on that car. Some men use letter openers and some women rip the flap. Some women walk like men and some men walk like women and no one ever does all the things that people here expect them to do because of gender roles. The harder you try and cubbyhole yourself into a stereotypical behavior the more you stand out. In today's world females can and do, do the same things guys do.

I sorta agree and disagree with you on this one, Lorileah.

There is often too much stereotypical thinking among us crossdressers and too many stereotypical expectations, but, out in real life while there are women who rip snack bags open with their teeth and men who use scissors, the other way around is probably quite a bit more common.

As a matter of fact, it is likely that the number of "macho women" who work at behaving like guys is probably roughly equal to the number of "feminine men" who crossdress.

On average, the rest of the population is generally quite comfortable in their gender roles.

[Genifer Teal]

Many times i do things differently to protect my nails.

Gen

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

but not all things. But I'm definitely becoming gentler in many aspects including dealing with people. I don't walk as fast anymore, tend to user shorter steps, walk more upright, take more pride in how I look, drive slower etc. Tend to use carts to carry boxes, use manual lid openers vs using my hands as my strength is not what it used to be. My habits, my manners and methods are slowly changing. Kimberly Marie Kelly

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rogina

Careful so I don't brake a nail sometimes it means work gloves.
Forget about latex gloves.
Got to watch how Mr drab does some things.

Orchid

[Dee2U]

In my Xmas stocking this year I got a special tool for opening all those annoying plastic wrap items - not fem or masculine - just darn handy. It may be the development of my feminine side but I believe it is also my personal work in therapy and in buddhist meditation / study but I believe that my behaviour is changing to slowly become more kind and gentle (I still get upset and sometimes angry but am often more able to observe myself and respond more skillfully). This is most apparent in my driving.

In my relationships with inanimate objects I definitely have become less aggressive towards them if they do not "cooperate". I also am limiting my attempts at "handiness" to those things that I can do. Why frustrate yourself unnecessarily? In this regard I have given up trying to be "the man" when I dont know what the heck I am doing! I attempt more to move things and myself with more grace. Works out better for the inanimate world and for me. It seems to be a more skillful way of behaving and moving through the day.

Although in a position of some authority in my workplace I am making serious efforts at listening more, thanking more, appreciating more. Not sure that is more feminine but it is more human. I am trying the same in my personal life as well with my SO and offspring. I am also trying to share my frustrations up front and openly with my SO rather than bottling it up and then becoming cranky (definitely NOT consistent here). I hope that in the long run this will improve relationships and I believe with my offspring in particular it has.

Sorry to ramble on and I know that some who are purely into dressing my find this maudlin (sp?) but that is where I am going from a behaviour and gender perspective....Dee

[Rogina B]

Great to hear from people on this.And I had forgotten to mention our hands.Seems that once you get them looking good[reasonably so!] you hate to mess them up...so out come the gloves.Also,I had wanted to ask for replys from transitioned girls and found it confirming from what they said...lack of physical strength changes the game. I think that as our fem personna grows, perhaps it rids of us some of our lousy male tendencies.Can that be?