Stalked while crossdressed?

[joann07]

Hey everyone!

Hope you're having a nice Thanksgiving holiday.
Just wanted to share with you a stalker like experience I had. Something that's never happened to me before.

Ok. So Wednesday I took the day off to relax and take care of some errands before the Thanksgiving holiday. Things started off just like any other day I've been out. I stopped at the local tax collector to pay my property taxes, made a quick stop at the gas station to fill up, and then headed to the mall to have a late lunch and do a little shopping before picking up some cakes I ordered at the local bakery. Now this is where things got a little weird.

After I finished eating, I walked over to JCPenny to check out their sales. As I was walking around one of women's clothing sections, I decided to cross over to another section when I heard a guy say "excuse me" as I passed in front of him. I wasn't really paying attention when he said it because I thought he was talking to someone else so I just kept walking and started browsing the clothing racks. As I turned to look at some clothes, I could see in my peripheral vision that, in the distance, he was looking at me and that's when I started to suspect something was up.

I got a good look at his face and then I remembered seeing him while I was eating my lunch. The food court was setup so that it was separated by a center walking area with food vendors and tables on both sides. I was sitting on one side while he was sitting on the opposite side talking on his cell phone while sort of facing my direction approximately 20 to 30 yards away. At the time, I didn't think much about it, but then it hit me when I encountered him at JCPenny. At that moment, I realized this guy was following me and so I knew I may have to cut my shopping trip a little short. I didn't panic and just kept browsing the various clothing racks hoping that, as long as I was there, he wouldn't approach me if there were other women around.

I continued to browse the clothing section, and I then lost sight of him for a moment, so I walked back to the clothing area towards the entrance way to the inner mall. As I was browsing, I noticed him again standing at the entrance way talking on his cell phone. At that point, it was my suspicion that he was waiting for me to come out and so I knew it was time for me to bug out. I had to find a way to get out quickly without him seeing me and so, to block his view, I walked behind a tall clothing rack, turned, and walked into the jewelry section. Then, I took a left hand turn and exited outside to the parking garage. I didn't look back, for fear that he knew I knew he was following me, and so I just kept on casually walking and walked back over to Sears on the adjcent side.

As I was walking through Sears to get to the parking garage where my car was parked, I looked around and then all of a sudden I said to myself "OH CRAP!" because, in the distance, there he was again coming from the left in the walkway perpendicularly to me. I was about to run into him if I didn't act quickly and that's when I noticed he was about to pass a 3 foot wide pillar at the corner of where our walkways meet. Fortunately, he didn't see me because he was doing something on his cell phone, but I didn't want to take a chance of crossing his path again so, as we got closer, I quickly cut the around corner on the opposite side so he wouldn't see me as he passed the pillar. I continued on, exited the store, and walked into the parking garage over to my car. I looked around to make sure he wasn't around and then I quickly got in my car. I took a few breaths to gather myself, then I started up my car and left.

I still had some time to kill before going to the bakery and so I stopped at Starbucks to have a little coffee, dessert, and to relax for a bit. As I was enjoying my coffee, I just kept thinking back about that guy. I had no idea who he was and why he followed me from the food court, but for him to tail me around like that was definitely creepy. I wondered whether he was going to try and pick me up, whether he read me or not, whether he was going to try and solicit something, or whether he's some predator, but I didn't want to stick around to find out because I was already starting to feel a little nervous and so my gut instinct said to get out of that situation as soon as possible.

Once I finished with my coffee and dessert, I felt a lot calmer. I then got in my car, drove over to the bakery, picked up the cakes I ordered, and headed for home.

After that experience, now I really know what it's like to be a GG and stalked by some creepy guy. Who knows, maybe he just wanted to give me a compliment, but for him to follow and watch me like that definitely brought up the red flag. Too many times I've heard of news reports of GG's being abducted, and later to suffer an unfortunate fate by some perpetrator, so we have to be very careful and never let down our guard. If you're out shopping by yourself this holiday season, be observant, and always keep a watchful eye wherever you are because you never know where or when you'll cross paths with a potential predator.
Looks like I need to start carrying my concealed weapon more often.

Hugs!

[Being Paige]

Good for you for staying so calm and not panicing!

[deebra]

For less than $20.00 you can buy pepper spray on a key chain that will shoot 20 feet. If he got close and started trouble a shot to his eyes would definately disable him, give you time to escape and a lot less trouble than pulling your gun. As we all know a gun could involve the police, you booked and taken to jail, making bond, lawyers at big bucks, trial and where you might be spending your future. You can only use the gun if your life is threatened so I say use the pepper spray first and the gun as a last resort. Everyone , male or female should carry pepper spray. You did the right thing, glad he didn't see you leave and follow you home. As attractive and eye catching as you are he probially saw a very nice looking woman and (nothing ventured nothing gained) decided he would try his luck and see if he could get anywhere with you.

[Karren H]

Scarry!! I've been followed a couple times by creeps... And once a guy turned around in his car and paced me as I walked down the street. I got out of there in all three cases.

[Amy Lynn3]

Great, for you JoAnn ! You did the correct thing and I am glad you are safe. You played it safe and did not hang around to find out his intentions, but that concealed weapon is not a bad idea, especially as much as you are out and about.

I have a concealed carry permit, just for reasons stated. I am in North Carolina and you in Florida and the permits are good in most states up and down the East coast, provided you want to travel with it.

[ShannonDragon]

Glad you are OK Joann. As I work for the Dept of Corrections, I can verify, there are a lot of very scary people out there.

Pepper spray can be a good idea, but there are a number of folks who can literally eat the stuff. If you have to use it, strike fast and don't stay around to see how its working, GET OUT!

[Marissa]

Joann, great evasive manuevers on your part..you played it well without alarming. Sorry you ended up knowing that stalking feeling. Its unforunate that it could have been a few of the other reasons but still not a reason to make someone uncomfortable like that.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure it will serve as a reminder for those who go out and about on daily shopping or other activities.

[Loni]

should have gotten a photo of him, reported this to the police. just maybe he is know to them, or at least it would prove another girls story about him stalking people.
but double yes on the pepper spray, get the foam with die in it, NOT the spray style as a lite breeze can blow it back to you.
and learn a couple blows that do not take much to do but will hurt like he**, and can even break bones.
like a heel to ones instep, a hard down ward blow can break his foot making it very hard to walk.
a knuckle to the apple.
a couple sharp pointy fingers to the eyes.
both hands cupped to both his ears hard and fast.
base of your palm upward to his nose. (just above the upper lip).
and many more.

the pepper foam to the face (in the eyes and mouth/nose) and a bit of pain get's the point across.

but good to hear you are doing the first step to keeping safe..keeping your eyes open. great job.


.

[tanyalynn51]

Two things Joann- one, are you sure this wasnt some kind of mall security? I would have asked someone in Penney's to call security for me. Either way, whoever he was, that would have done something about it. Two, you did the right thing. And, if necessary, dont hesitate to defend yourself. If it comes down to you or the other person, its always better if you win. Your skill at evading him was great. You have great instincts, so always trust him. I deal with a lot of dangerous people in my job, so I have to watch for being followed myself. Go with your gut.

[ChristiesGurl]

I'm glad you are okay. The scary thing too is if he read you, he may have intended some harm. I had a trans friend once who said she was always afraid of getting jumped, so I always walked her to her car.

[Nicole Erin]

You should have said - in a masculine voice -
"Hey baby, wanna see the surprise in my pantyhose?"

THAT would have gotten him to leave you alone

[joann07]

Thats creepy. I'm glad your safe.

Thanks girlfriend! That was definitely a creepy moment I started feeling uncomfortable and I'm glad I was able to evade and get out as quickly as I can.

Good for you for staying so calm and not panicing!

Thank you sis! My experience going out and dealing with adverse situations definitley paid off.

For less than $20.00 you can buy pepper spray on a key chain that will shoot 20 feet. If he got close and started trouble a shot to his eyes would definately disable him, give you time to escape and a lot less trouble than pulling your gun. As we all know a gun could involve the police, you booked and taken to jail, making bond, lawyers at big bucks, trial and where you might be spending your future. You can only use the gun if your life is threatened so I say use the pepper spray first and the gun as a last resort. Everyone , male or female should carry pepper spray. You did the right thing, glad he didn't see you leave and follow you home. As attractive and eye catching as you are he probially saw a very nice looking woman and (nothing ventured nothing gained) decided he would try his luck and see if he could get anywhere with you.

I appreciate your support girlfriend. Yeah. Maybe he was a decent guy who was just trying his luck with an attractive girl, but just too shy. However, my gut instincts just didn't feel it was right and erred on the side of caution and decided it was time to play it safe and get out. Besides, I wouldn't be interested in him anyway as I am lesbian. LOL!

Pepper spray is something I'll have to look into. Although, I would have to be careful using it because, if the table turns, the attacker could get a hold of it and use it against me and then I would be really really screwed.

A gun could definitely involve the police. Fortunately, I have a permit to carry a concealed weapon and it could be a deterrent if I were to quickly flash it or put my hand in my purse to show that I have a weapon. Now here in Florida, we have a new law called "Stand your ground" which permits you to stand your ground, anywhere, anytime, you are attacked. No longer must you take the risk of retreating from an attacker before protecting yourself with deadly force.

These are some details of this new law:

A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity, and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.

A person who uses force as permitted in s. 776.012, s. 776.013, or s776.031 is justified in using such force and is immune from criminal prosecution and civil action for the use of such force...

Hopefully, I will never have to use a gun to protect myself while I'm dressed as that would definitely involve the police, lawyers, and most likely it will out me as it would probably make the local news. Then my family and friends (who don't know) would find out and that would not be a good scenario.

Scarry!! I've been followed a couple times by creeps... And once a guy turned around in his car and paced me as I walked down the street. I got out of there in all three cases.

Most definitely scary sis. I'm glad you were able to get out of some similar situations.

Great, for you JoAnn ! You did the correct thing and I am glad you are safe. You played it safe and did not hang around to find out his intentions, but that concealed weapon is not a bad idea, especially as much as you are out and about.
I have a concealed carry permit, just for reasons stated. I am in North Carolina and you in Florida and the permits are good in most states up and down the East coast, provided you want to travel with it.

Thanks for your support sis. A concealed permit is definitely something worth having in this day and age. There are so many crazy people out there and you just never know when you'll cross paths with some psycho. Thanks for the info. It's good to know that my concealed weapons permit is honored in North Carolina.

Glad you are OK Joann. As I work for the Dept of Corrections, I can verify, there are a lot of very scary people out there.
Pepper spray can be a good idea, but there are a number of folks who can literally eat the stuff. If you have to use it, strike fast and don't stay around to see how its working, GET OUT!

Appreciate your support sis. It is definitely very scary how many bad people there are out there. I've heard stories of pepper spray used on people, including tazers, and it doesn't affect them because they're so high on drugs. It's scary.

Joann, great evasive manuevers on your part..you played it well without alarming. Sorry you ended up knowing that stalking feeling. Its unforunate that it could have been a few of the other reasons but still not a reason to make someone uncomfortable like that.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure it will serve as a reminder for those who go out and about on daily shopping or other activities.

Thank you sweetie. It's definitely something to keep aware of because you just never know who you encounter and being calm and cool in situations like this helps you to think on your feet so you can avoid a dangerous situation.

should have gotten a photo of him, reported this to the police. just maybe he is know to them, or at least it would prove another girls story about him stalking people.
but double yes on the pepper spray, get the foam with die in it, NOT the spray style as a lite breeze can blow it back to you.
and learn a couple blows that do not take much to do but will hurt like he**, and can even break bones.
like a heel to ones instep, a hard down ward blow can break his foot making it very hard to walk.
a knuckle to the apple.
a couple sharp pointy fingers to the eyes.
both hands cupped to both his ears hard and fast.
base of your palm upward to his nose. (just above the upper lip).
and many more.

the pepper foam to the face (in the eyes and mouth/nose) and a bit of pain get's the point across.

but good to hear you are doing the first step to keeping safe..keeping your eyes open. great job.


.

Taking a picture of him would've been a good idea, but its like one of things where you don't think of it at the time because you're in survival mode and just want to get away. Now that I've had my first experience, I'll have to keep that in mind.

Thanks for the defensive blow tips. I've heard of some of those and if there's a time when I have to use hand-to-hand defensive tactics I am definitely playing dirty. I won't even hesitate to bite some flesh to protect myself.

Two things Joann- one, are you sure this wasnt some kind of mall security? I would have asked someone in Penney's to call security for me. Either way, whoever he was, that would have done something about it. Two, you did the right thing. And, if necessary, dont hesitate to defend yourself. If it comes down to you or the other person, its always better if you win. Your skill at evading him was great. You have great instincts, so always trust him. I deal with a lot of dangerous people in my job, so I have to watch for being followed myself. Go with your gut.

No no. He definitely wasn't some type of mall security guy as he was wearing blue jeans and a light olive green t-shirt with a white pattern print on the front. And if he was security, why would he be following me? I wasn't doing anything suspicious or illegal. All I was doing is eating my lunch at the food court so something was definitely not right when I saw him at JCPenny tailing and watching me. And with him talking to somebody on his cell phone, who knows, he could've been calling his friends to come out so that they can follow me to the point where they can corner me somewhere where there's no way of escaping. So the first thing I had to do was get out of the situation as quickly as I can.

Being observant of my surroundings is something I am always doing when I'm out in femme because I have to remember that I am no longer the guy, or the aggressor, but a woman who's the now vunerable one. And because I am vunerable, I have to be more attentive to the people around me especially if I'm alone. I am greatful my instincts kicked in because I don't want to be in a situation where I could be assaulted or killed by some would-be predator.

I'm glad you are okay. The scary thing too is if he read you, he may have intended some harm. I had a trans friend once who said she was always afraid of getting jumped, so I always walked her to her car.

Thank you for the support sweetie. Yes. It is scary if he had read me and who knows what his intentions were. I didn't want to stick around long enough to find out.

You should have said - in a masculine voice -
"Hey baby, wanna see the surprise in my pantyhose?"

THAT would have gotten him to leave you alone

LOL! Funny sis! I'm sure that would make him run with his tail under legs, but I wouldn't want to do that as that would give him a negative image about us.

[Crissy Kay]

Just Wow!!! Glad you are OK. You really have to be carefull out there. It would have been panic time, if it was me. You handled it very well.

[Cheryl James]

I am so glad that you were alert and that you acted prudently to avert a, possibly, dangerous (at the worst) or uncomfortable (at the best) situation. A similar situation happened to me recently as I browsed in a bookstore in a large mall near where I live. As I browsed in the store I happened to glance up and saw a man in the mall (with a cell phone, no kidding) watching me through the store window. My radar was on as I continued to browse the books. A couple minutes later I sensed that someone had entered the aisle where I was. I glanced over and saw the same man. He was pretending to look at a book, but I sensed he was really paying too much attention to me. I, casually, put the book down that I was looking at and moved to another aisle but I kept a watchful eye on him. He moved, also, to an adjacent aisle where he could observe me. I fought the urge to just run and, instead, moved to another aisle that was close to the outside entrance to the store. He did not match that move and, short of running after me, would have been unable to immediately intercept me as I made my way to the outside door. I had visions of him catching up to me, but I placed myself near a group of people exiting the mall and made my way to my car (safely). It does give one pause and gave me a greater appreciation for what GG's must deal with regularly. Be safe!

[GingerLeigh]

You're lucky you got away from him. From what you described, I doubt his intentions were pure since nobody nice follows anyone around that long without something sinister on their mind. Maybe next time (hopefully there isn't one) pull out your cell phone and make like you're talking to someone, even look his way and make like you're talking about him to your caller. Even snap a picture of him etc... That will turn the tables and if he had any ill intent, he'll get the heck out of Dodge before he get's ID'd.

I got stalked by a group of men on Halloween while dressed as a girl. I was about nine and I was terrified (times were different then, I went out alone). Lucky some creepy pedophiles didn't get me, I probably wouldn't be here today if I didn't do some quick thinking by running to a stranger's house and telling them someone was after me. I just hung around there until I was sure they were gone. Never got stalked in drab, funny huh?

Ginger

[Chickhe]

What you can do is play dumb for a bit until you can identify them and verify they are following you and try to get a license plate number if they are in a car.

...at the mall, I would not be surprised if they are asset protection/watching shoplifters and since we might look a little suspicious if nervous and only browsing for example they might watch us.

[ReineD]

I'm glad you're safe, Joann! But now you'll never know his motives! If he did read you, maybe he wanted to find out how you go about looking so good, and blending in so well?

At any rate, it's maddening being a woman alone and feeling powerless in the face of danger from a man. Sometimes it's good to run, but in your case, I would have walked up to him in the safety of the store and said, "Excuse me, can I help you? You seem to be following me". You either would have heard a denial on his part, if it was pure coincidence that you happened to be at the same places at the same time, or he would have perhaps felt emboldened enough to tell you what was on his mind. Maybe he thought he recognized you from somewhere? Or, if he did have nefarious reasons for tailing you, he would have felt caught and he would have bolted. There are always security people in stores who can help. If he would have bolted, I would have explained the situation to either the store or the mall security, and asked if I could be escorted to my car. Joann, walking alone to your car in a deserted garage might not have been the best way to deal with this.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Not in broad daylight at a mall, and at night I always avoid situations where I might compromise myself by being alone in deserted places. But if something like this should have happened, there was a time when I would have simply called my ex. This is no longer an option, so now I need to have plans to protect myself and the best way is to confront the situation when there are other people around and to get them involved if I do feel compromised.

[docrobbysherry]

Joann, I know that had to be such a scary feeling! I'm sorry it happened to u and SO HAPPY the way it turned out!

I won't go out dressed alone for a number of reasons. One is, I can't seem to get past the idea that what I'm doing is somehow WRONG! And, that people will somehow SENSE that if they know I'm a CD! So, of course I wouldn't want to attract attention!
If I had been out dressed in your situation, I would have probably done the same things as u!

But, then I asked myself what I would have done if it happened while I was in drab! I realized I would have handled it COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY!

First, if it was a store with others around, I would have walked rite up to the guy and asked if he was following me. If he answered or acted strangely, I would have told him to leave immediately or I will have someone call security or the police! And, if he didn't, I would!

Why wouldn't I do the same dressed? Oh yeah! A CD with a stalker! Bring in the police, maybe the media?
Whether or NOT we would be treated fairly is not my point. Just the fact that we mite WORRY about being found out and treated badly IS!

Does anyone ELSE see how UNFAIR this is?

[Jorja]

Wow, creeeeepy! I am glad you got away safely.
One thing to keep in mind, as secure as you may feel carrying your gun, it too can be taken away from you and used against you just like the pepper spray can be. I strongly suggest you find a YMCA, Police Dept., Community Center, etc.... doing self defence training and attend a class or two. It is well worth your time, effort and safety. I know, I have had to use it a time or two.

Also just to add a thought.....
Unless you have ever drawn your wepon on another human being, aimed and pulled the trigger, then watched them fall to the ground, you might as well leave your gun at home in the lock box. It is not Hollywood and you are not Olivia Benson from Law and Order SUV. It is REAL and too many people cannot pull the trigger when it is needed. A person is not a target on a gun range.

[kymberlyjean]

Just to be devil's advocate here, I try not to automatically assume the worst in people. I say that and also add that you should always be alert and aware of your surroundings and trust your gut feeling. Looking at this particular situation from the outside, I wouldn't discount the possibility that this guy was just simply fascinated by you and trying to get closer look. Someone that wishes to do you harm would not typically approach you inside a store and say something to you. A true scumbag would probably be a little better at being discrete and not give away his presence until he was able to suprise you in the parking lot. The whole thing with the cell phone up to his ear was him trying to get a good picture of you without being obvious and the "doing something else on his cell phone" while he was walking out to the parking lot was him checking out the fruits of his labor. Still creepy? Yes. Where you right in trying to evade and distance yourself? Certainly.
Just my $.02, if it's even worth that.
Kim

[TxKimberly]

I wonder if he was just a cross dresser trying to get up the courage to speak to you?

[Jorja]

Everyone here needs to go read this http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ton)&p=1357065

Be safe

[eluuzion]

hiya joann,

There are lots of "boogie men" out there. The best way to be safe is to be aware of your surroundings at all times and not dismiss anything that you feel is peculiar. You paid attention...the first step. The goal is always to get away...never to confront. The only real "weapon" is people. Never run away aimlessly...always run toward people.

Malls are prime hunting grounds for muggers, rapists and theives, particularly parking lots. They are "fringe" areas, which are "in between" areas that criminals love. Just enough people passing by to find victims, not enough traffic to hinder carrying out the attack on the preoccupied shoppers. A 30 second window is all that is needed, and an easy escape route to vanish.

Your best move is to go to a mall security guard and request an escort, as well as identifying the "suspect". Going unescorted to your car is exactly the opportunity a "stalker" is looking for. You are alone in a "cage" that muffles any screams...bad idea.

Knowing what is normal for a "fringe" area is the key to safety. Parking lots... They wait for friends by entrances or go directly to and from a car. People with decent vehicles do not stand around leaning or sitting on them either. People do not "loiter" or wander around in between cars unless they are up to no good. If they move toward YOU, immediately head for the populated area closest to you. Never let anyone closer that 20 feet to you, and never respond to the "excuse me, could you..." set-ups...never stop walking.

The worst thing you can ever do is allow somebody to take you to a second location. Crooks know the penalty for kidnapping is close to a murder rap, so there is every incentive for them to kill you. You must fight the battle if you are in that situation, as once you are mobile...you are almost certain to not return alive.

Don't pull a weapon if you aren't willing to use it. If you are relying on it to scare someone away so you don't have to use it, you shouldn't have one. A violent person knows the difference between a bluff and his world of violence. You will just disrespect him and he will take that gun away from you...and he will not hesitate for a second to shoot you with it. His world is the reality...yours is the fluff and fantasy of movies and "karate" advertising promises of defense training (that will be useless on the street).

So, other than that...Have fun holiday shopping! hhehehehehe

[5150 Girl]

I woul have told a sales associate that the dude was folowing me, and had them call security to check this joker out.

[Annaliese2010]

Golly Joann, the incident you recounted had me on the edge of my seat! Dash the thought of any harm coming to such a pretty face!

Yes, this is a violent world and when you see it on the news you just never imagine it could happen to you. And yes, I guess the ultimate peace of mind is had by carrying a LadySmith or lil pink Glock. Or is it. I did at one time - permits to carry are so easy to qualify for in these parts. But the weight, the responsibility, the ever present knowing, wondering, worrying if I could pull the trigger & waste a life...yadda yadda yadda... It's all such a downer and just a bit much.

So now I just sometimes carry a pepper spray gun. Or a small but powerful little stun gun which fits easy in a purse or pocket - its square shaped, lightweight and about the size of a makeup compact case. Non-lethal force is more me. Except in bed that is - or what I've been told anyways.