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Thread: Public crossdressing without passing

  1. #1
    New Member stephan's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
    Greenville SC and Atlanta GA

    Public crossdressing without passing

    On a business trip last week. Stopped by JCP on the way to the airport and picked up a black knee length skirt. Professional looking with a double belt closure in the front and a nice wide metal zipper in the back. Tried it on - fit beautifully.

    Fast forward to the next leg of my trip (not home but to another destination). That morning, leaving the hotel, I decided to wear flats, the skirt, a regular mans dress shirt and a sport coat. On top - dressed as a man, from the waist down, dressed in a skirt and flats (with an understated bow on the toe). No makeup. No attempt to walk like a woman or pretend that I was anything other than a man wearing a skirt.

    Mind set: I am conducting a social experiment to find out how people react to this - using myself as the means of delivering the experiment.

    Moment of truth - I left the key to the hotel room on the desk - once the door closed behind me, no return. I called for the cab to pick me up in 30 minutes. Click. The door is closed, bags in hand, head downstairs to have breakfast. No one in the elevator.

    Probably about 5 people (men) in the restaurant. I am sure I was noticed, but no one gave the impression that I was unusual. Took off my coat (reveals the zipper in the back of the skirt, so this is obviously a woman's skirt and not a kilt) and headed to the buffet. Interestingly, the waitress that I had become quite chatty with throughout the week wasn't very talkative an this morning.

    I chose a booth to sit so that I wouldn't have to worry so much about keeping my knees together.

    Taxi arrived about 20 minutes later (early) and called on my cell phone. I headed outside - past reception - two girls staring at me as I smiled at them. One smiled back, the other with her mouth open in astonishment. (OK, that was unsettling).

    Taxi driver opened the door and asked if I wanted my bags in the back. Took them from me and opened the back passenger door for me. I watched his eyes. He glanced down at the skirt and then asked me if I preferred to sit in front. I should have said yes, but I declined because there was a bunch of papers and stuff and I didn't want him to have to move it. (Should have said yes).

    The taxi driver and I talked the entire way to the airport. Even during those pauses where you just figure the conversation is going to die, he found something else to talk about. The economy, politics, travel... We talked about a lot of stuff including our wives and children and never once did he inquire or make any reference to the fact that I was wearing a skirt. COOL! Very cool!

    30 minute ride to the Jacksonville, FL airport ended with a nice tip for the cab driver and my heart racing. Two carry on bags, so no need to check anything. Just got my boarding pass from the automated thingy and headed to security.

    Definite looks from the TSA. This isn't normal. But no one says a thing to me - just professional. Unfortunately, I had to go through the full body scanner. Normally, I avoid those (even if it means the extra pat down), but if I opted out, I figure it would look like I was some sort of perv looking for the extra attention, so I went through.

    I got pulled aside - no surprise and had a special check. Interesting, though, the only area that I was patted down was the area covering my panty girdle. (Yes, I really was wearing a panty girdle - that's not an embellishment). Still, the moment where I was standing there without my jacket with my arms outstretched WAITING for the pat down seemed excessive. I know that for the 15 or 20 seconds that I was standing like this, I felt VERY vulnerable.

    Security cleared, I headed to the gate. I debated standing in line at Starbucks, but decided to go to the gate and do some work. Sat down, opened the laptop and place the computer bag in front of my shoes - not really wanting to draw so much attention to myself in a situation where I couldn't exit easily.

    New problem. I got to the airport early, so after an hour, I had to pee. I was worried about heading to the men’s room but a little more terrified about walking down the aisle on the plane, so I decided to go to the men's room in the terminal. Busy. Once inside the stall, felt pretty safe. Afterward, I headed straight out. Should have washed my hands, but didn't.

    Flight was called, so I joined the throngs lining up to board the flight. Usual deal, get your boarding pass checked and then find yourself queued up on the jet way. Interesting, that the person behind me was leaving a large gap (like 3 feet). I was going to turn around and see why, but I choked my curiosity and I am glad I did! The next thing I saw was the flash of a camera and the click sound. Someone took my picture (from behind) with their camera (or camera phone). I didn't dare turn around now and give them an opportunity for a frontal shot with my face, so I just did my best to remain calm and hope that the queue would star moving again.

    Now on on the flight headed toward my seat. Still early enough that I didn't have to search for overhead space - great. I took off my jacket and put it in the overhead (love showing that zipper) and in a quick motion stepped to the window seat.

    Full flight, about ten minutes later a man about my age sat in the middle seat. I am not a big talker on airplanes, but I do engage in a bit of pre-takeoff chit chat. I decided that this should be no different, so I started up and he was very jovial - even friendly. We talked for the whole flight. At one point - early on - I slipped my shoes off and crossed my legs. Skirt rode up somewhere between mid-thigh and knee, but no mistake that I am wearing a skirt. I made a bit of a deal out of unbuckling my seat belt so I could pull my skirt back into place. Then I re-buckled my seat belt without breaking the conversation.

    He never made mention of the skirt, nor did he lead the conversation any where near the topic. Just nice pleasant conversation. Two men having a chat. -- These are the moments I am looking for: awareness that I am cross dressing but no acknowledgment that it is anything unusual.

    Landed at my destination city and got the bus to the long-term parking lot -- again, without incident.

    So, that's my story. I hope you found it fun and interesting. I would love to hear more about successful (and unsuccessful) public outings from other cross dressers that do not try to pass.

  2. #2
    In the closet - for now. Shadeauxmarie's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    I applaud your courage! IMHO it is harder to go in public without meeting the public expectation of how one should dress. I believe crossdressers trying to pass as women are tolerated more than someone breaking ALL the molds.
    May you live long and prosper.
    Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.
    "Smiling makes my face ache." F. N. Furter

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    Jan 2010
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Thats an interesting experience. You're pretty brave!

    I used to go out in a kind of androgynous blend of clothes and make up. Lately, I've gone full femme. Either way, the reaction of people has been either indifference or friendliness....with a few adolescents behaving as one would expect adolescents to behave. Men seem to have the most difficulty with it...which might make an interesting dicussion of itself.

  4. #4
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Southern Utah
    Wow....first of all welcome to the forum. That's a heck of a post for your first one! It's incredible that you did it, I certainly wouldn't have the gumption to go out 1/2 and 1/2.
    Any plans to continue your "experiment"?

  5. #5
    Gen thechic's Avatar
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    Aug 2009
    New Zealand
    OMG you have great Courage ,i just could not do that as a man.

  6. #6
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    May 2006
    Alpharetta, GA
    My dear late wife always did my makeup and fixed my wig before I went out in public. When she died 6 years ago I decided to just go out without makeup or the wig, but fully dressed enfemme! I have been doing that now for the 6 years and I go everywhere that way. Hardly anyone pays any attention! People just don't pay attention unless you are dressed in a way that is designed to draw attention!!

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  7. #7
    Member meri's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    Third rock from the sun.
    Your experience is a lot like my experience when I first walked out the door in a skirt, otherwise dressed as a guy. I had a gal drop her jaw too, it was fun!

    There are many of us around the world that do this on a regular basis, check out the Skirt Cafe group, it's all about guys wearing skirts, but as guys...

    Central Ohio

  8. #8
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Central Alberta, Canada
    I would rather attempt to live the way you described your experience than to attempt to pass. Whether it is laziness, or I would look horrible, I would just like to do my own thing without the problems, or hassles that could arise. Your courage to experiment has raised the bar for others to step out and push the limits. I think that we as a group would get change in society quicker by doing what you did than by going the whole nine yards. Sort of like baby steps, one step forward and let people get used to the idea before taking the second step. It seems that in human nature we try to do everything all at once. Like the story goes, "how do you eat an elephant"? Answer,"one bite at a time". This has me wondering where can I take a bite.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    NYC Area
    Sounds like what I do nearly all of my free time. (At work I'm in my male "uniform.") I wear what I like, but don't make any attempt to make people think I'm a woman (not that I'd have much success even if I tried.) I live in a small town, walk all over the place in my skirts, so it's hardly a secret. I suspect I'm pretty widely known in my area as "that guy who wears skirts."

    It hasn't been a problem, not even with my ex-wife. (Of course the kids are both over 18, so there's not much she could do to louse things up legally, anyway.) I've gotten maybe a half-dozen or so obnoxious comments in 5+ years I've been doing it, nothing worse. I get far more "like the kilt" and "like the skirt" comments, often from guys. Also some people slowing down to take a picture of me on their cell phones (I'm not sure I want to know where they end up....)

    I have to say, I think if I did try to pass as a woman, it would be much too stressful for me. I'd feel like a spy or something, always worried about that moment when "they" would "find out." This way, I've got nothing to hide.

    By the way, this isn't to say that I might not have a problem living as I do if I lived somewhere else. I live in the NYC metropolitan area, which is (by USA standards) pretty open-minded about these things.

  10. #10
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    At home in my own skin
    Hi Stephan, thank you for sharing quite an interesting introduction with us. I'm glad that you had a largely positive outcome to your little experiment.

    I hope that you enjoy your time with us and that we get to read a lot more of your adventures.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  11. #11
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Yeah!! I love experimenting. In a urban environment you can do just about anything.... No one really cares. But try that in Southern WV.... The tar and feather will fly. Lol. I've done the reverse... Makeup, hair, jewelry, under pinnings and all male attire. No one said a thing not even in the ladies room.. I've also done fem dress suit with slacks in male mode and no one at the casino said a thing. Never done a skirt in male mode but other than pure experimental value I don't really care to do that. Not a look I like.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  12. #12
    New Member stephan's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
    Greenville SC and Atlanta GA
    The "experiment" continued about three days later. I was on a long (6 hour) drive, so I decided to wear a long black peasant style skirt with sandals and a T-shirt (something colorful but not fem). North Carolina, sunny Sunday afternoon, 3pm. After filling the car with gas, I went into into the convenience stor to the fountain drink machine. One male customer paying for gas, two women working there: one behind the counter and another with a broom and dustpan in her hand. The broom lady (probably about 45 y/o) walked up to me while I was filling the cup and said, quite loudly, "What's with the dress?"
    I looked at her and smiled and said, "Not a dress. It's a skirt."

    She: "OK then, what's with the skirt?"

    Me: "Have you ever worn a skirt?"

    She: "Well yeah, but I'm a woman."

    Me: "Well, I'm a man and they are very comfortable, aren't they?"

    She: "You wear skirts all the time?"

    Me: "No, just days like today. Really hot and I don't have air conditioning in the car, so this is perfect for me."

    She: "So what do your friends think?"

    Me: "Well, most of them don't care, two guys I know are weirded out by it, but my wife thinks it's great. She bought this one for me."

    Lady behind the counter: "Well, it's cute"

    Lady with the broom: "Yeah, it's a cute skirt"

    Lady behind the counter: "I'm saying he looks cute wearing it."

    Me: "And the two of you look pretty cute in pants. I hope your friends are OK with that too..."

    both ladies laughed out loud.

    I paid for my soda and headed for the door with a: "Have a nice day."

    Elements that I like about this encounter:
    1) Plausable response - some of my friends think it is OK and some think it is weird (well, OK, I was lying - none of my friends know I crossdress)
    2) I am heterosexual (as most crossdressers are), so get the message out into the public that we are not gay.... (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
    3) I turned what could have been a confrontation around into something light and funny because I am comfortable in my own skin.

    To my mind, item 3 is the biggest thing. What I learned from the airport experience is that if I have my story line clear in my head and I am completely justified in my actions that this confidence allows me to behave as if this is completely normal. That confidence allows those around me to feel comfortable also which helps me to advance my cause: Seeing a man wearing a skirt is not unusual. I just hope that they told two friends and they told two friends.

    Oh my, I am sounding like a crusaider!

  13. #13
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Lost in the ozone again
    I say, if this is your thing, go for it. It's not my thing, and I have to be honest and say that I don't quite get the whole "crusader" thing, but that's ok. I support anyone's right to do this 100%. I know if someone did this in the area I live in, what happened probably wouldn't be pretty. But, that's life.

  14. #14
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Ah, yes. You have stumbled upon a closely guarded secret. MOST people just don't care what you wear.

    Of course this isn't really a secret. But it is true. Read it again. MOST people just don't care.

    So, if YOU don't care, then what's the big deal? Well, the big deal is that all the fear, guilt, and shame that so many crossdressers carry around in their head is just that. IN THEIR HEAD. It's imaginary. An illusion. A construct built from whole cloth.

    Now of course SOME people will care. Your family will care. Your SO will care. Maybe your boss? Maybe your pastor? Well, your boss has an image to protect and a business to guard. Your pastor may mistakenly think that God cares what you wear. But by and large, it's just NOT an issue. The vast majority of people have no problem with a guy in a skirt. We have members on this very forum who have been crossdressing for YEARS with no attempt at pretending to be women. They have been talking about it FOR YEARS right here on this forum. Haven't you been listening? Most people just don't care.

    Young men hopped up on testosterone and alcohol can be a problem, especially when in a group of others similarly impaired. But it's really not that hard to avoid this kind of situation.


  15. #15
    Just Kate Kaitlyn26's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    DC area
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Ah, yes. You have stumbled upon a closely guarded secret. MOST people just don't care what you wear.
    That kind of depends on where you live. "What this world needs is a few more rednecks Some people ain’t afraid to take a stand". I have always liked the Charlie Daniels band, but I'll be honest here, I think the world needs a few more rednecks that can shut their mouths. They tend to "take a stand", a little too often, and against things that do not concern them. Do yourself a favor, if you're south of the mason dixon line, in a non-urban area, be prepared for rough water.
    "I am the beginning and the end. I bring order into chaos. "
    "I never tell the truth, because I do not believe such a thing exists. Truth, is in the eye of the beholder."
    "Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self serving, I shall simply say, good luck."
    "We give no crap, and we take very little."

  16. #16
    A Lucky Girl Kim_Bitzflick's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    A Carolina Girl
    Now THAT'S an interesting experiment. Not one I care to do, but I would like to be the "fly on the wall" after you leave the store. I myself prefer to get as close to female presentation as I can.

    "I just gotta be me"

  17. #17
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    Dec 2005
    Muskogee, Oklahoma
    My experiences have been much like yours. Many people like the honesty of the presentation (rather than trying to look like something I'm not).

  18. #18
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    I don't care if I don't pass, I just love the thrill of dressing full time.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  19. #19
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    I loved your post! And I enjoy your writing style .. very pulp fictionish. Welcome to!

    You opened my eyes big time! I've been plugging along in this forum believing that to "crossdress" means to emulate a woman. Judging by the majority of posts and pictures in our Gallery, I can say this is definitely the case for most of our members here. There's a lot of talk about lingerie, breast forms, makeup, tucking, being pretty, etc, whether or not it is a fetish. We do have a few well-loved and respected members here who do dress like you, but because they are so few in numbers I always assumed that the main purpose of crossdressing, for most CDs, was to appear as a female rather than to simply do as the term suggests, wear skirts or dresses as a man. I did assume our male-appearing members were on the fringe, and I honestly didn't consider their or your style of presentation as crossdressing.

    To me, if a man who presents as a man is wearing a skirt, then he is wearing a man-skirt whether or not it is purchased in the ladies' department and he is, therefore, not crossdressing. It is also my opinion that if the gender issues were taken out of the crossdressing (if men who wear skirts did not attempt to emulate women), then society at large would not have as big an issue with it and man-skirts would eventually make it into the mainstream like the Scottish kilts or Southeast Asian sarongs.

    I have read posts from other members who said their only reason for wanting to look like a woman was to be able to wear dresses and skirts in public and not experience any issues, since men in skirts are not well accepted. But then, men who transform their gender appearance aren't well accepted either (I should think even less), so I always took these explanations with a grain of salt .. as a justification of sorts, because the CD in question did not want to admit to having gender issues. Up til now, my definition of a crossdresser (save for the few here who wish to present as men wearing skirts) was a man who experienced gender issues to a degree, although the degrees vary depending on the individual.

    Quote Originally Posted by meri View Post
    Your experience is a lot like my experience when I first walked out the door in a skirt, otherwise dressed as a guy. I had a gal drop her jaw too, it was fun!

    There are many of us around the world that do this on a regular basis, check out the Skirt Cafe group, it's all about guys wearing skirts, but as guys...
    I went to this site and poked around a bit, and I was further surprised. There are many men out there who just like to wear skirts, and who don't feel compelled to appear as a woman in order to do so. Several of the members on the site explain that they also started out believing they were crossdressers, but eventually realized they are men who wish to present as men who wear skirts. These men further said that in their opinion, if society allowed men to wear skirts, there wouldn't be as many men who questioned their gender and perhaps there would be fewer crossdressers who wish to present as females. I was dumbfounded!

    I wonder how many of you there are, and how many men at would give up emulating women if the man-skirt or the man-dress concept were to be embraced by society. I also wonder what is the line between appearing as a man or a woman. Is there a distinction among the members at between a man who wears a basic, black or navy A-line skirt with sober flats and a man's shirt, and a man who wears a frilly, sparkly dress with bangles , drop earrings, gauzy scarves, and pink six inch heels, even if he does not wear makeup, wig, or forms?


  20. #20
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Southern Utah
    As expressed earlier, it probably would be wise to watch where you conduct your experiment! So far, so good and sounds like your having fun with it.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
    Chattanooga, TN USA
    I admire the OP's courage to wear a skirt as he does. There is no way I'd do that in my area (Tennessee, USA). I've witnessed multiple confrontations in my area in which white rednecks provoked, harassed, and hurled epithets at non-whites who were absolutely minding their own business. This is why I detest living in the southern US. When financial circumstances change, we'll move. I think it takes an extra dose of fortitude for me to venture into public crossdressed in my small-minded neck of the woods.

  22. #22
    Member Joanna41's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    Wow...that is so awesome! What a great post. Me personally I'm not that

    To Reine...I know its your personal definition of CD however I would like to comment about it. I personally have no gender issues...I dress in full female mode and try to pass because I think its the biggest challenge I have ever entered into. I do it because not only do I love the way my clothes feel but its very erotic in a sort of way for me. Dressing as a full woman is dang challenging and its no different compared to other challenging things like rock climbing or running a marathon. I do things because its a personal challenge for me and crossdressing is the biggest one ever. I don't know if I'm totaly passable yet but I work on it when I can...just thought I would throw another perspective of it at you. Didn't mean to hijackthis apologies.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Be who you are...not who you think I want you to be

  23. #23
    Junior Member Chrissy.Sexton's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Hello All,

    I see where this thread is going but dressing in a man-skirt is not for me. My reason for crossdressing has its roots in my admiration for the female gender. I admire women so much that I want to be one. Can't do that so I do the next best thing - crossdress and present as a female the best I can. Whether I "pass" or not is in the eye of the beholder. In the end I could care less since it's my need that's satisfied.

    To me, the motivation to crossdress is simple and requires no experiment - but, hey, whatever blows your skirt up . . .


  24. #24
    Senior Member Intertwined's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    Looking for direction
    Congratulations on your experiment, I agree with some of the other members, location, Location, LOCATION... There are some places it may not be wise to present yourself as you did.

    When I do dress, I almost always dress in what I call my 50/50, and except for a few "oh my god"s or "what the #£¥*" I have never had a bad experience.

    I took your experiment to the extreme several months ago, I was nominated for Employee of the Year, I got up on stage at one of our schools, in a mens dress shirt and tie, pencil skirt, argyle tights & 5 inch high heels, to accept my nomination, shaking hands with the school district superintendent, in front of 400 co-worker (most who did not know of my gender variation), to date, the only change at work has been being greeted as "Marsha" instead of "Marshall" which always puts a big grin on my face. Photos of the awards ceremony can be viewed at my Flickr page found in my signature below
    "I am Yin & Yang, North & South, Night & Day, Feminine & Masculine" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  25. #25
    Junior Member Wendae's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
    Tampa, Fl
    I wear light pink nail polish on fingers and toes. shaved arms, legs, chest, bracelets, rings, ankle bracelets, toe rings, triple pierced ears with colorful ear rings. As this is Florida I wear shorts 363 days a year.
    I have worn women's jeans and boots when shopping No one has ever said anything or even stared except to say they liked my ear rings.
    I believe I was a lesbian in a previous lifetime.

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