I knew a CD and his wife years before I met my SO, therefore the concept was not entirely foreign. But, I did appreciate having an understanding GG to talk to in the beginning, even though our experiences weren't the same. And yes, it is difficult to keep this part of my life from my kids for two reasons: I don't want them to know about my SO (neither does she), and also they don't know about my involvement in here, which is considerable. I feel sometimes as if they have no clue about a significant part of my life and this is difficult for me. I also feel a degree of stress when we go out, at the prospect of running into someone whom we don't wish to tell.
And no, there is nothing that my SO can do to make any of this better. Societal bias against the CDing is what it is and we just deal with it the best way we can.
I found this forum and told my SO about it. She joined immediately and I joined a week later. She participated for about 6 months while I spent most of my time reading (and getting spooked). When I began to participate, she stopped. I think she just got bored with the place. She's been going out in the mainstream for years, she knows how to present in a believable manner, she knows who she is, and so there isn't anything she needs to work through. Also I don't think she's a big fan of some of the fantasy element in here. Anyway, she told me recently that she has forgotten her password for this place, it's been so long since she logged in.