I wouldn't say that, bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes en femme or not.
Are you attracted to him? Just his penis? The act of submission?
It is very complex though, it may require lots of deep soul searching to discover the truth.
I wouldn't say that, bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes en femme or not.
Are you attracted to him? Just his penis? The act of submission?
It is very complex though, it may require lots of deep soul searching to discover the truth.
Needless to say I've agonized over these questions for years
- "what am I?"I haven't found an answer. All I can say is that the term "CD" is very loosely defined and that reading this thread has made me feel that I'm not alone. I'm not weird (ok maybe I am, but that has nothing to do with my crossdressing ).
- "is this a sexual fetish or something deeper"
Thanks you all for sharing.
Sammy
Hugs
Sammy
xoxox
I myself am not really attracted to men. I accept I can be attracted to men that look like women. I am physically attracted to the female form. If the guy has a female form other parts don't seem to bother me. But I have not actually been in that type of situation so I can only speculate how my body will act in that moment.
Heres where im at on the subject. I consider myself bisexual . Let me try to explain without giving to much details. Im not necessarly attracted to men, do i think some men are good looking sure but i dont want to date or kiss one. But i do like having sex with one well im in cd form and being submissive when we have sex. Now the weird thing is the guy has to be straight so to say not gay. I also have the best of both worlds cus my spouse finds it a sexual turn on when im dressed up! She also likes being the dominant one. Now when in male form no guys for me but i do like transgender females. I find them really attractive i think because a lot of times they are more femine and take extra time to look beautiful then a lot of ggs. Again just my opinion
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genuine and its better to be absolutely ridiculous then absolutely boring...Marilyn Monroe
This is a great thread!
I feel this way exactly. I think part of it is the time and energy it takes to dress up. And also that, at least in my wardrobe, the clothing is a bit more sexy. I may cover up with a denim skirt and a button down shirt, but the feel of what's beneath is still a turn on.
Maybe it's because we have already crossed a gender boundary?
However it works out, I wouldn't classify myself as gay. I do know I'm up for more "alternative" options when I'm dressed.
Anyway, great thread, keep it up!
ShoeziQ
Being dressed and having a man take you out is wonderful. I want the world to see me as a wife, girlfriend etc.. It is such a turn on to have a man tell you how sexy you are. I can get get physically and emotionally turned on to men. I prefer women but I could be with the right man for the rest of my life.
So well said! The thought of being feminine is to me the best turn on ever. If I was honestly treated as a women... I would not care about the sex of the person that thought of me as a girl. If it was a man, well hell, I'm good with that! But then again I am bisexual. I prefer women, I love them, I want to be one. But yeah, some guys are just ****ing hot! Can't help it and I wouldn't want too. I think my world would only be half as much fun if I limited myself to a strict half of what I find sexy now, I'm just working on myself to be the sexy person I know that I am!
Hillary
Hi Toni, I'm a male that loves to dress as a lady the best that I can and have no attraction to another male.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Susan, my feelings exactly. When I'm dressed (sometimes when I'm not) the thought of a guy viewing me as a woman is a real turn on. I doubt that it will happen, but I'd love to be presenting as a woman and be able to dance, chat, walk and touch with a guy. Even if it didn't go further than that, it would be great. Maybe it's about wanting to be flattered, to have someone want you in a way that could never happen before.
This is a really interesting discussion. I must say I have been struggling with thoughts very similar to the OP. I have a GF who likes to role play" and now I associate pleasure with "that" and it starts to make you wonder what the real thing would be like without the rest of the body attached. As they come connected it leaves mixed emotions and confusion about my own sexuality.
Last edited by Nigella; 07-21-2012 at 05:11 AM. Reason: "toys" are not a topic for this forum
Fascinating. Thanks for the link Shan. I read the first part and then wondered if CDers or TGers would think like women and turn down casual sex then read the second part.
I think a study would be interesting. I wonder what the results would be?
I guess I'll just have to hope that only people who are viewed unsafe and unattractive will hit on my husband from now on. *smile*
Define "normal"
I came across this the other day about autogynephilia. It helps explain why / what fantasizing about being with a man as a woman if you are not a homosexual transgendered person.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blancha...alism_typology
Last edited by rata; 08-13-2012 at 04:05 AM.
Wow! after reading parts of the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blancha...alism_typology I am starting to understand that my sexual orientation was probably not odd when I was twenty.
See, you learn something new every day.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Now that we are on this subject it brings me back to halloween 2001. We were at my in laws house with a few family members and the neighbor came over and wanted us to dress up and we would go to friends houses and surprise them. So we dressed up and of course i dressed in my mother in laws cloths and who was a monster and clown and off we went to friends houses. We drove around and made about five stops and the neighbor said he wanted to make a last stop at a friend that he works with. We went there and we sat down and had a coffee and all the time i could see at any chance he could get he was trying to look up my skirt. I had my mother in laws cloths on that my wife made a bit more slezzy her pantyhose and her pink granny panties. At that point I felt like a women, and at one point when I caught him looking up my skirt I closed my legs tighter and we had eye contact and he had this look like C-MON let me look up. So we finished our coffee and me being the one who wakes up first in the morning I started walking to the front door, he walked up behind me and said it was nice to meet me and said he couldn't believe how much I looked like a women and then without any warning he lifted my skirt and he put his hand on my ankle and moved his hand all the way up my leg and even gave my butt a little grab and told me that i have great legs. Just like a women I pushed his arm away and pulled my skirt down in a fem way. We left and when we were driving back to my in laws house i could still feel his hand feeling my leg and i was so aroused. When i got home my wife asked me if i got a thrill from that guy feeling me up. I didn't think anyone seen, she said she just caught it. I am very open to my wife and i told her I got aroused by it and she said she Knows that i don't like men it was that at that moment i felt like a women. My wife kind of made it feel ok but it kind of scared me. I have no attraction to men but at that moment and only at that moment i felt like a women. So going back to your question I have no attraction to men but at that moment it felt alright. I guess. So I don't know what that makes me.
Last edited by Maria 60; 08-12-2012 at 08:42 AM.
I would like to be treated as a woman an for me to even consider bein intimate with a man i think that i would realy like to try it with a man i dont know how i would feel afterwards proberly it would make me feel disgusted with myself but the trouble with me is im so bad mixing with people i do not like the thought of men as in the sense gay but when dressed totally en femme an in the mind frame of a female i think i would give in to the whole exprience of bein a woman.
This topic is so fascinating to me, and judging by the number of responses, it is interesting to many others, too. And I want to thank everyone for participating in this discussion, and especially Toni and Reine, for expressing so eloquently, some ideas that it just took me 5 or 6 sessions with a great therapist to arrive at. Autogynephilia. I totally get it.
What I have found, is that the reason I enjoy the thought, and the fantasy, of having sex with a man while I am in the female persona, is the same reason that I cross dress in the first place: I feel special. For many complicated, inter-related reasons, perhaps genetic, perhaps experiential, probably some combination of both that no one will ever understand, I feel pretty and sexy and special. It's my own personal arena. I don't have to compete with anyone while I am there. The idea that he (he = the anonymous, faceless penis) finds me attractive, and I make him aroused, makes me feel attractive and desired and special.
I think this might be similar to Toni's experience, and many others, from what I am reading. And, I can't express how grateful I am to have found this forum, and threads like this, to help me know that I am not alone, and I am not so crazy. I am SOOO grateful for this gift. But I'd also like to address another one of Toni's original questions: How do heterosexual cross-dressers, with spouses or SO's, deal with this reality?
I don't have any great answers to the question, and I invite others to please contribute their experiences here [and please IM me if you care to have a more personal discussion about this], but I'd love to share my experience, so far.
My wife is aware of my cross-dressing, but is not completely comfortable with it. We do have the blessing of having been great friends before we were married, and so I feel comfortable being very honest with her. We do share our fantasies with each other, and we both have shared very non-traditional fantasies with each other. In the coming days, however, I plan to share with her, the fact that while she was recently out of town for a few days, I purchased a toy, with the intention of dressing up and getting as close to the fantasy as I could possibly get, without involving another person.
I bought a life-like male anatomy toy, and then got all dolled up, and spent the evening with my toy, doing everything to that toy, and with that toy, that my fantasies have ever imagined. And I had a wonderful evening. I really let go, and completely enjoyed myself.
What I hope to do, is to tell my wife about this experience. To tell her about my feelings and my desires. My hope, in my heart of hearts, is that we will be able to share this experience. Is that she will be, even more, a part of my journey. That I can look at her, with open heart, mind and soul, and say, "this is me". And that she can be part of my soul journey...and share my toy! I think we would both enjoy it!
I will write back to let you all know how it goes.
Anyway, thanks, each of you, for your honest, heartfelt input.
Last edited by StacyPump; 08-13-2012 at 09:56 PM.
*StacyP*
Autogynephilia. One of the things I've discovered about myself since coming here about 5 years is; I r one of those! Still working out LOTS of other issues, tho.
Another is; despite my early fantasies about being with a man when dressed, I'm not gay or bi. I figured out that I'm straight. Because EVERYTHING about men, especially a penis, is a TURN OFF for me.
One other note: There's a HUGE difference between fantasies of being with men and actually doing it! Since the OP has been with men and likes penises, I DON'T BELIEVE SHE'S STRAIGHT! My opinion only!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
But that's the whole thing. There is SOME difference between the fanstasy of enjoying the faceless penis, and the desire to be in a loving partnership with a same-sex partner. What is the difference? I have NO idea. I can't pretend to understand it. But there is some crazy, un-literal, hazy difference. Dontcha think?
Wow. What an amazing, diverse community this is.
*StacyP*
Yup, it's the difference between having one's sexuality being internally focused as opposed to focusing on the mutual benefit of the give and take and truly wanting to please and be pleased that exists BETWEEN partners.
It's a form of object oriented fetish, except the object is one's own self as the image of a woman. There are a number of fetishes where people also have difficulty experiencing mutual sexual satisfaction with partners, unless of course the partners are also equally into the fetish but in reverse, for example a Domme/sub relationship:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias
I'm speaking strictly about AGP. If someone is transsexual and she hates all of her male physical self, then she will feel better about herself sexually as a woman and sex will then be more fulfilling for her. And so she will be able to enjoy a sexual/emotional relationship WITH her partner whether this partner is male or female (depending on her sexual orientation).
Reine
Autogynaphilia. Yes, this is me too. I completely understand what others have said, and it is so nice to know I am not alone in this, and its nice to know it has a name. I have also found that when I am in love, I don't think about crossdressing. I am satisfied, so I think it has something to do with having someone that you love and cares for you, and for whom you also care for equally. I've found that when I am distressed, such as losing someone who I am in love with, the desire to cross dress, along with its associated fantasises arise.
I don't know if I have Autogynaphilia or if I'm truly attracted to men.. It really can be hazy. I think actually being with a man can help .. or maybe just imagining yourself being in a real relationship with a man, would that make you happy? I think it would for me, and playing the female role, but I haven't tried it yet, so til then it just feels blurry
yea, they did say it so well!
My desire to be with a guy was very gradual. In general, I didn't have any interest in being with a guy, but gradually gave in to the experience when a friend revealed he was gay. Since I liked him anyway, I went with it. I enjoyed the experience and realized although I prefer women, when en femme I have been attracted to men I found interesting, and on a few occasions was perfectly happy to play the female role as I like it to be for me. I don't feel attracted to men on a daily basis though.
I'm the type who plans Halloween months in advance. I usually have an elaborate costume such as the Joker or Freddie Kruger for example. This year I have decided to unleash Amber on the world as my Halloween costume. I have a male cousin who loves Halloween just as much as I do. I love him and his wife dearly. One night last week my SO, Gina, and I decided to show them my ” costume” for this year. They gave no idea that I'm a CD. His wife is very critical but she loved meeting Amber. She even have me some pointers! Gina was loving this and Amber was giddy. Anyway, as a joke, I sat on my cousin's lap and kissed his cheek. He had his hand on my thigh and grabbed my ” boob”, playing up my joke. Oddly, although I'm not attracted to him, it felt good. I wanted to lay my head on his shoulder. I refrained though. I guess I fall under the autogynophilia label. The feeling was wonderful. I felt so feminine and Gina smiled the whole way home.
” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”