My bf and I began as friends and became really close very quickly. After ten months of friendship we began dating. Two weeks after we became a couple he told me he was a CD. I was a complicated mixture of feelings. Shock, disappointment, hurt, betrayed. He said he had tried to tell me when we were just friends, but I didn't take it seriously, I just thought he was joking and he didn't make sure that I understood. I am the only person he has told and I know I have a huge responsibility now. My response can greatly impact how he feels about himself and his relationship with others. So, I have tried to be really understanding and find out as much as possible. I've only known for about two months now, but still it feels as though I'm failing to provide him with the support he needs. I've gone shopping with him, and surprised him with a dress too. I let him dress around me, help him with his makeup, let him wear my clothes and lingerie and have even had sex while he's dressed.

What hurts me is that he's not the person I love when he's dressed and I'm really uncomfortable even though I try to hide it. I've told him that his mannerisms and even the way he talks changes when he's dressed and I don't like it because then he's a stranger. I don't want to get close to him or kiss him. He said he changes because he's too worried about what I think to be natural and he can see in my face that I am uncomfortable. He wants me to let him hold me and to be the same as we normally are, but I just can't help it. This person that I fell for, this masculine, wonderful, amazing person whom I adore, desires to be something that I don't know and am not sure I like and it's scary for me. I love him so dearly, but am terrified that he will want to dress all the time and I will lose the person I'm in love with completely. I also fear for his mental and physical well-being as well, if he choses to go out or if someone else finds out.

I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to learn as much as possible, but the information is limited and scholarly research on the topic is almost nonexistent. Plus, a lot of the stuff online is, in my opinion, really perverted and that doesn't help me accept him when I see that.

I'm putting him first in this. I want him to feel comfortable, accepted and loved. Once that is accomplished, I want to be ok too. I just don't understand why he does it.

Please help! Tell me what I need to do for him and anything you can tell me that will help me understand his thought process would be greatly appreciated.