Adina
The same thing Wild. It will take a lot of courage to say anything. It will be regarded as Bimini trying to tell the woman how to raise her child. I might say something but I am outspoken and my friends would know I had an opinion. The OP doesn't have that luxury I assume. And it depends on how close they are too. Co-workers don't tend to accept advice on personal matters from other co-workers. A good friend mightwhat will happen the next time?
The child is 3, they see things and they like things and sexuality or gender doesn't enter their minds. It is just playtime. The bad part is now the seed is planted and the child has this idea now that dressing is a sign of weakness or that wearing a dress makes you less (I know the mother may not have intended that but I am sure the comment was something like "Boys don't do that"). You have to be taught prejudice and stereotypes.
And as far as saying the mother is teaching the child current society values, I can only think "Thank goodness JFK's mother didn't do that" or any of the thousands of people who marched with MLK, Gloria Steinem, Cesar Chavez. Just because society says something doesn't mean it is right and by allowing people (even 3 year olds) to think for themselves is how the world evolves and gets better. We should be teaching the following generations love and acceptance, not following blindly behind. Parents can and often do take the easy way out on issues like this, after all there are so many other things they have to do as parents (no that isn't sarcasm, but the truth, they are overwhelmed with everyday). I have been in practice a long time and I am now seeing grandchildren of people who were young parents when I started. I have to tell you I can tell the children of parents who taught their kids love over hate and acceptance over staunch ideals. These kids who are now parents of their own children spend the time to explain the Vet who now is a woman. And the kids find that awesome usually, they don't question why I am doing it but celebrate who I am. Before I was "out" to most the world I did things that pushed the status quo. I would wear nail polish and sandals for one thing. One day a tween girl saw that and looked at her mother and said "Look mom, HE'S wearing polish!" The mother calmly looked at the girl and said "I know, cool huh?"
