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Thread: Have you been with a guy?

  1. #51
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    I dunno y'all, never having had any of that kind of experience, all I can think of is smelly and messy. Those that partake how you actually dealing with that? Seems like it would be an awful lot of work an not very spontaneous. Just wondering and exposing my niavete in the process.

  2. #52
    happy and complete kkaye's Avatar
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    I was born in the 60s. I had attractions to other males but religion, social life and family suppressed acting on it. I lived a heterosexual life, married,kids etc. But, I did eventually act on my desires. I did not feel guilty. I was born with these feelings. Once, I had the feeling of being penetrated, I was hooked. I like women to much to go fulltime. It is more fun to do it with another guy.

  3. #53
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaM View Post
    Why couldn't a CDer be 50% man and 50% woman mentally?
    If they were, it would extend to a lot more than clothes, makeup, hair, shoes, and having sex with men to "feel" feminine. lol This is a very limited way of understanding what women are all about.
    Reine

  4. #54
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Fakley View Post
    Loosen up, yall ... it ain't like we're all that normal of a crowd to start with. Why start drawing arbitrary lines between us?

    Love yourself for who you are, and forget about the rest of the BS in our culture!
    Well said. You are a gem!

    For some reason, this thread reminds me of the song Signs by Five Man Electrical Band: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oeT5otk2R1g

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    If they were, it would extend to a lot more than clothes, makeup, hair, shoes, and having sex with men to "feel" feminine. lol This is a very limited way of understanding what women are all about.
    Indeed... poor understanding I would have used instead.

  6. #56
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    ReineD I really disagree with your #54 thread, a CD or non CD doesn't have to have mental/emotional wiring to think 100% their gender. I'm really surprised your open mind said that. People can be 100%, 50-50%, 15-85% or to any degree having tendancies opposite of their gender, in other words their are men who tend to be more feminine than normal and women who are masculine in their thinking. Going back to my thread you can get dressed as a woman, psych yourself out to where you are a woman and enjoy/enhance the entire evening in that mindset. It just takes CDing to a higher level that some threads on here can't relate to. And when totally dressed as a woman in women's and performing sex on a male partner you are dressed the same as a woman, performing sex on a male just like a woman and you can be imagining yourself as a woman while this is going on.

  7. #57
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    Deebra, while I agree with your post on some level (the tendencies everybody can have), I disagree with your disagreeing with Reine. Let me explain...

    Being a woman is not about clothing, thinking you are feeling "feminine", sex or any of these topics. Being a woman is just being a person of a given gender, whatever your personality might be, and it cannot be equated to what most in society seem to think a woman is (looks, clothes, sex, and other very repeated topics I'm tired of seeing).

    Thats what Reine ment whe she posted that.

    And by the way... those who think that can understand women better just because they crossdress... well, they are deluded, because they are not getting past the gender topic.

    Its very simple, stop seeing a woman as a woman, and see them for the important part of what they are, people, persons. To understand a woman, all you have to do is to understand a person, and get past the gender and all the societal associations its got attached.
    Last edited by Ezekiel; 08-23-2015 at 09:51 AM.

  8. #58
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    I want to challenge part of the basis of the original question.

    If a guy is into you enough for intimacy when dressed like a girl but not as a boy, then he is more interested in the idea of a girl than a boy. Ergo, he is "straight". You, on the other hand, have an interest in a guy, but only feel comfortable when assuming the 'female role'. That is 'gayish', but still not gay.

    I really want to do it but I am wondering if I am going to regret it later. My questions are
    1. Has anyone done it before?
    Yes, lots of times.

    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
    Nope. I enjoyed it.

    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
    Um, you either like guys or you don't. It may get easier your second or third time, but the base interest still has to be there.

    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
    Nope. Some have liked me dressing up all femme, others have liked me all butched out.

    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?
    It is just different, not better. The men I have been with have tended to be more in tune with showing hunger and more of a willingness to be aggressive or 'dirty'. The women I have been with have varied, the minority being aggressive.

    Also, nobody knows what feels good as well as someone who owns the same equipment.

    <3

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  9. #59
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    lol This is a very limited way of understanding what women are all about.
    Sorry, that is not what I said. I said, I could only have sex with a man if I feel like a woman the entire time, I didn't say I have sex with them to get the feeling.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Lori Kurtz's Avatar
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    While dressed in drab, I once clocked a "girl" as a cd. I was immediately and intensely aroused. In a secluded outdoor area, I told her that I dressed up too, and we started kissing and hugging. Neither of us removed any clothing; when I showed her how ready I was for some sexual activity, she showed no eagerness to perform oral sex. I reached orgasm by rubbing against her; she did not have an orgasm, but she obviously enjoyed the experience. We agreed to meet up the next day, and I said I would be en femme. I envisioned doing something similar to what we had just done, but as female-on-female, and with more mutuality of satisfaction.

    Then I chickened out. I didn't meet up the next day, partly because of my fear of the complications that would be introduced into my life. And I never did any such thing again--not during my first marriage, not after the divorce, not during my second marriage, and not since my second wife died.

    So I've answered your first question. Now on to the rest of them.

    Did I feel guilty about it? Yes, because I was married to my first wife, and it was a betrayal of her. It was wrong, simply wrong, and I still feel guilty about that aspect. I also felt (and still feel) guilty about using this sister CD sexually, saying I would meet up with her, and then dropping her with no explanation. But do I feel guilty about having had a sexual experience with someone who was a male? No. Surprised, yes, since I had always considered myself heterosexual, but not guilty. Being gay (if that's what someone wants to label me) is not something to feel guilty about. And I still consider myself primarily heterosexual--but apparently something less than 100%. I still have an active fantasy life that includes some homosexual things, with me dressed up as female. I don't get hung up on trying to define how straight or gay I might be.

    Did I get addicted to being with a guy, or did I decide to go fulltime? No. Obviously not. I still had some sex with my first wife, had lots more sex with my second wife, and I still find women desirable.

    Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? Hard to answer that one, since it was just one experience. Sex is such a marvelous thing, it's hard to single out just one thing as better than most others. I've had a lot of wonderful orgasms all by myself. I remember my magnificent first time with the woman who later became my second wife--and many great times with her after that first one. The one experience with that other CD was likewise wonderful in its own way, because for me it was unique. But I don't feel that it changed me in any way. I don't think you should expect that having sex with a man (with or without the presence of a real woman when it happens) will change you either. My advice is to be honest and non-hurtful in anything that you decide to do and with whoever you decide to do it with, and then just relax and enjoy it.

  11. #61
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaM View Post
    Sorry, that is not what I said. I said, I could only have sex with a man if I feel like a woman the entire time, I didn't say I have sex with them to get the feeling.
    I know, but being a woman is so much more than having sex as one. There are 168 hours in a week. If a woman has sex for 3 of those hours per week, this is less than 2% of her time. Who is she and what does she do, the other 98% of her time? This is perhaps difficult to understand for many here.
    Reine

  12. #62
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    Never have and never will. I have never been sexually attracted to any man, so the idea wouldn't ever cross my mind. 100% hetero.

  13. #63
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    ReineD, we're not talking about the 98%, we are solely zeroing in on the few minutes a CD spends having sex with a guy and "imagining" he/she is that sexy, desirable female lover while having sex. The CD is trying to get the same feelings a woman would have while having sex while transforming their mentally state to that of being a woman. Similar to a fighter psyching himself out before the fight that he can't loose and he'll be the next champ. This self inflicted mental transformation "can" start as I stated in my first thread to when getting dressed for the big evening; picking out special sexy lingerie to wear, shaving all over, putting on perfume, eyelashes, lipstick, etc. and it can continue and build throughout the evening, that is the feeling of feeling you are a woman and not a CD.

  14. #64
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    An unintentional bias?

    I'm noticing what is probably an innocent and unintentional bias in this discussion which can be illustrated by this question:

    Why can't you be treated like a woman by a woman?

    When my wife gets in that mode she is gentler with me, calls me sweeter things, tells me I'm pretty. It is a much different experience than when she is in her high-hormonal state and wants me to be more beast than beauty.

    I would suggest that only feeling like a woman when under the attention of a man is tied into a heterosexual model. How you get treated is independent of who is doing that for you.

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  15. #65
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    The CD is trying to get the same feelings a woman would have while having sex while transforming their mentally state to that of being a woman.
    This may be true for some here - perhaps even most - but I doubt that it is true for all. If these threads demonstrate anything, it's that the people on this forum are a very heterogenous group and that not everybody has the same motivations for CDing.

    Too bad these forums don't allow inline polls (I mean without linking to an external site).

  16. #66
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Ime, hooking up with a guy can be pretty hot, and it can satisfy a need that, to me, is a natural part of being fem, but it comes in a distant second to being with a woman. One thing it will do is teach you a lot about men and what it's like to try to please them. So many guys are so coarse and insensitive, sometimes I wonder how the species survived. ;-P

    Oh, btw, ime the more conditions you place on your fantasy the less likely it is to happen or be satisfying, but that said, I will add that I have been surprised more than once over the years by a woman's curiosity about m/m or mmf bi sex. They may be rare, but they are out there.
    Last edited by sherri; 08-24-2015 at 10:33 AM.

  17. #67
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri View Post
    Ime, hooking up with a guy can be pretty hot, and it can satisfy a need that, to me, is a natural part of being fem, but it comes in a distant second to being with a woman. One thing it will do is teach you a lot about men and what it's like to try to please them. So many guys are so coarse and insensitive, sometimes I wonder how the species survived. ;-P
    There is a segment of gay male culture that thrives on 'coarseness'. It rolls around in the muck of male Id* like a pig in mud.

    All the gays are macho, can't you see their leather shine?

    - Joe Jackson "Real Men"
    At the same time, there have been many studies on female interests in family & breeding from an anthropological standpoint. Females tend to like one kind of 'stable' guy for home-building, but like the 'bad boy' for breeding. It is in some ways seeking out the diametric opposite of who you are.

    I get hot & bothered in very different ways when looking at a pretty trans vs a burly biker. I admit that the pretty little thing gets my aggressive juices flowing vs the biker type making me want to be submissive. I admit that bias.

    - MM

    *Id : Id, ego and super-ego
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  18. #68
    Senior Member Krististeph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Hi,

    I really want to do it but I am wondering if I am going to regret it later. My questions are
    1. Has anyone done it before?
    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?

    Before dressing up, I used to see shapes as masculine and feminine. Like certain shoes are obviously feminine (slim).. you know what I am saying.. Now I dont have those thoughts any more since I started dressing up. I am wondering if being with a guy would make one gender fluid. I am thinking about it but I want to know other's physical, emotional experience before taking this step.
    Hey Chicago! Great questions- very deep. I think a lot of us play with this in our minds, Leona, but are loathe to admit it. Frankly, I'm a little surprised to be answering this myself...

    In answer to question 1- No Not done it, but I'm married, and male or female- that's off limits for me (unless my wife decides to experiment). I'd say i'm a good 97%-98% straight. I've though about what it might be like to be with a man (me as a female) but it pretty much just does not do it for me. I like girls, as friends and as mates. I have male friends- and we can goof around as much as we want- but there is no sexual attraction.

    If you have homosexual feelings- talk to some gay guys- they will not try to jump your bones- let them know the conflicts you are feeling.

    If you are gay and TG, well, hey, there's a fairly unique subset you are in, and that's kind of neat. If it were me, being in this position, I'd want to learn more about it for the intellectual aspect as well, but you owe it to yourself to explore- just be safe and kind.

    In a way some of us might be envious/jealous as crossdressers- if you are gay and TG- you get to live and explore the classic female life more fully than many of us.

    But what a brave and honest question you ask- I for one would like to know what you find for yourself, if you care to share it with us.

  19. #69
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    Thanks Everyone for the answers. I am very straight guy. I wont say fully alpha but I stand up for myself when needed and I never think of being with a guy.. But I asked this question because I feel a strange attraction towards that. I dont wanna do it because I am gay, I wanna do it because it would make me feel like a woman emotionally and physically as well. Thanks all for all the answers. They were really helpful

  20. #70
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Leona, I'd like to offer a different twist on this if you'll bear with me. Before I start, I want to say that I have no bias or prejudice against people in same-sex relationships.

    First, I think we can assume that men who are homosexual, who have always been and will always be homosexual and who do not have gender issues (most gay men do not crossdress, at least according to the way they present in all the gay clubs my SO and I have been to), do not feel feminine when they have sex together. And so we can infer that having sex with a man does not necessarily lead to feelings of femininity for most men who have sex with other men on a regular basis.

    If up-til-now-hetero CDers feel feminine at the thought of having sex with a man, it is therefore all in his mind? And so might the attraction to a male be more fantasy-based than having any real attraction to the male? In other words, might the sexual fantasy become exciting based more on the CDer having thoughts of himself as a sexually attractive female than anything else, and using a man in the fantasy (for a hetero CDer who would define normative sex as being between a man and a woman) serves to intensify the desired feminine feelings?
    Reine

  21. #71
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    ReineD, you hit the nail on the head in that last paragraph, I totally agree, How About That!!!

  22. #72
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    If up-til-now-hetero CDers feel feminine at the thought of having sex with a man,
    Men are yummy, all ripples and muscles and sweat.,, (ahem)


    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    it is therefore all in his mind? And so might the attraction to a male be more fantasy-based than having any real attraction to the male? In other words, might the sexual fantasy become exciting based more on the CDer having thoughts of himself as a sexually attractive female than anything else, and using a man in the fantasy (for a hetero CDer who would define normative sex as being between a man and a woman) serves to intensify the desired feminine feelings?
    This gets into all kinds of gender discussions. A man in Brasil can enjoy a submissive without questioning his (or your) identity. Topping a submissive male is no different than topping a girl.

    Roles, roles roles... this is the chorus of our song.

    Play the part and don't be sorry for it sweetie.

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  23. #73
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    " Topping a submissive male is no different than topping a girl."

    Well, you are wildly wrong here. It's different. The number of penises alone makes it really different. Justify it or excuse it any way you like but it's different.

  24. #74
    New Member Dana P's Avatar
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    This hits the nail on the head for me too. I like to FEEL female. Im not so much attracted to men as to them being attracted go me. No done this yet, but have fantasies about it quite often.

  25. #75
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Jennifer, no need for arithmetic, it causes my brain to go into gimbal lock lol. While in our culture, being with the same sex is indeed an act of something other than hetero, there is truth that in other cultures, it is not considered to be gay or even bi. Ancient Greece, and today in some Asian countries, the prostitutes are often MTF, and being with one is not considered to be gay for them. The MTF prostitutes are so feminine and convincing that the Marine who was found guilty for choking a TG likely did not realize what he was getting himself into, literally.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

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