Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 60

Thread: what makes you kinky when crossdressed?

  1. #26
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    3,040
    I kinda wish I had some but it's only in my hair, my 'drive' drove off and left me at the side of the road many months ago, must the hormones I'm not taking (is there an endocrinologist in the house) 😕

  2. #27
    Member Valery L's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    251
    All of the above.

  3. #28
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Usually, wearing a skirt somewhere
    Posts
    1,137
    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    Very small curlers.
    For a second or two, I tried to grasp what could be kinky about rollers, small or otherwise.....then I snorted my tea through my nose. You owe me a keyboard!
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  4. #29
    Junior Member junemay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    49
    It could be anything .....I heard crossdresser saying when she dresses she gets kinky for her hairs swaying down her back ...other one mentioned she loves her frilly skirt gets flowing...for some its getting "mam-ed" ...Or shall i say feminine feelings?!!!! I sure have to learn how to talk with girls

  5. #30
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,912
    I always had sexual feelings about crossdressing, until I just didn't. They stopped over a period of about two weeks a bit after I came out to myself as a woman.

    If you start out having sexual feelings about crossdressing, and those feelings go away over time - particularly if they go away rather quickly - then it's pretty likely that your crossdressing is really about gender identity. That was my experience, and the experience of other transwomen I know. Unfortunately, crossdressing with a sexual component doesn't preclude eventually needing to gender transition.

    I've heard the idea that it does from some folks here, and also from a fair number of straight transwomen whom I know. They are generally surprised when I tell them that there was a sexual component of it for me for the longest time. (It's really weird, by the way, to hear women who formerly incorrectly identified as gay men, and who probably masturbated quite frequently, get all squeamish when someone else does the same thing in a pair of panties.)

    By the way, since the OP mentioned kink, quite a lot of trans people are kinky. I mean a lot of us. I certainly always have been - I had feelings about kink before I had feelings about sex when I was quite young.

    My own experiences tell me that my feelings about kink were unrelated to my feelings about my gender. Both had a sexual component though, so it was easy enough to confuse them. Ultimately, my feelings about gender were many, many times stronger than anything I've ever felt about kink. Of course, like many others, I initially tried to pass off my crossdressing as a fetish or kink. Oh if only...

    A historical note about bad gender theories: The connection between sex / kink / MtF CDs / queer trans women was probably the only good observation Ray Blanchard ever made. There really do seem to be a LOT of lesbian or bisexual trans women who are into kink. (I'm sure some straight trans women are also into kink, I'm less certain of the prevalence of that, though.) Unfortunately, his theory that queer MtF trans women are simply men who've fetishized themselves into the opposite sex is demonstrably bunk. His ideas about straight MtF's, that they are gay men who seek to maximize their available male partners by becoming women, is equally stupid and insulting. Maybe that seemed really smart in the mid 80's when Blanchard gathered his ridiculously small and totally uncontrolled sample data, but today, if you are a guy who wants to be with another guy, you don't need a sex change - you just need grindr!

  6. #31
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    139
    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post

    ... That said, many (most?) TG people don't dress for sexual reasons. In fact, getting aroused is the last thing most CDers want when dressed.
    Many (most?) crossdressers (with time?) realize that they had feelings of wanting to dress feminine long before they made sperm, or had any sexual thoughts whatsoever. When those thoughts and feelings came, many of them mistakenly began to equate the two, and think they dressed "because of" their sexual jones. With time, and careful thought, they may realize, as Eryn noted, they do not want to be aroused when dressed. Many (most?) realize that as they get older, and the juices slow down a little, their desire to dress/present as female actually increases - and they see that, perhaps, the sexual arousal/excitement part of their life may have been obscuring the better part; dressing/presenting as/becoming their true womanly self.

  7. #32
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5,000
    Years ago I read a definition of crossdressing which, following the wearing of clothing language, added "for sexual or emotional reasons". Today I checked several online dictionaries and none of them included a motive. Wikipedia specifically excludes a motive - it's simply the wearing of the clothing, which includes costumes and disguises (Tootsie, Doubtfire...). To me, it takes two things to be a crossdresser: an inner desire to wear clothing normally worn by the opposite sex, and the act of wearing the clothing. Without the former, disguise and costume wearers are excluded, and without the latter, those who desire to wear the clothes but never have (yes, there are such people) are excluded. But Webster didn't ask for my opinion, so motive doesn't matter.
    You see two men dressed as women. Which one is a crossdresser, and which one a fetishist? You can't know unless you determine their motives? Even if you could, it's not all or nothing. For many of us, there is a sexual aspect to dressing, but there are non-sexual aspects as well.
    This is all an attempt to distance the all-girly-inside dressers from sex-crazed deviants by those fearing the association. As one who enjoys the sexual excitement crossdressing brings, if someone thinks I'm all girly inside, I can handle it. haha
    I always find it interesting (and irritating) when a dressing-for-sexual-excitement thread prompts those whose dressing is non-sexual to drive the point home. Is this really necessary.
    I dress up as a woman. I'm a crossdresser. Or am I?
    Last edited by Lorileah; 11-03-2015 at 05:36 PM. Reason: Unless Eryn gave you permission you don't know what she would like

  8. #33
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    I like the old joke about the difference between adventuresome and kinky. Adventuresome uses a feather duster, kinky uses the whole chicken.

    I tend to agree with Nicole. In an attempt to distance the TG umbrella away from what is perceived as Deviant (euphemism for bad), we often like to ignore that sexual side. However, it is actually quite natural to have urges and feelings of a sensual nature, even long before puberty. We do not always recognize or understand these feelings, they vary in intensity, and may be triggered by multiple stimuli. I understand that people are also creeped out by others sexuality when it is expresses in an unusual way. There is a natural fear of overt or "abnormal" expression. Not that it is rational, but the fear of being abused, attacked or subverted (or having you family thus subjegated) exists, even in the back of a big burly dudes mind.

    I for one, would not want to be classified in the same category as a pedophile, but let's face it, that is a pervading nuance to our public perception. Otherwise, we wouldn't have to protect our children from being exposed to "those" people.

    As far as my own feelings in the matter, yes I still have feelings of sensuality with dressing. Is it to a level of lack of self control, or overt enough to cause discomfort to others? I certainly hope not. Also there are many other feelings of enjoyment and self satisfaction that accompany my dressing that are not really sensually related.
    Last edited by Meghan4now; 11-03-2015 at 09:03 AM.

  9. #34
    Non-binary/Questioning
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    380
    I'm bi, so I'm happy to attract either sex, but it has little to do with dressing - the kinks I have all pretty much predate it. I consider myself to be an autogynephile (not to give any credence to Blanchard's 'stupid and insulting' theories, as PaulaQ aptly puts it) rather than a fetish crossdresser, so my CDing is to me more of an expression of my desire to feel female than a sexual thing. I've recently been thinking about being with a guy while dressed, though, so that's new for me but I think that may just be because I now (as a CDer) have a way to concretely realize that desire to feel more like a woman (given my male body) in a specifically sexual situation, rather than seeing it simply as a gay encounter (which it would be without the clothes). Did that make any sense to anyone?

  10. #35
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,912
    I think very little of the cross dressing that goes on here is really kink or fetish related. Crossdressing can be extremely sexual, but in my opinion a big part of that is that for people who's libido is driven by testosterone, everything tends to become sexual very easily, and if one has even a partial female identity, it makes sense to be sexually stimulated while expressing that identity. If part of you feels feminine, how else is that part going to express itself except by presenting as a woman? The extreme case, trans women, tend to fantasize about being women during sexual activities because they ARE women. I don't believe that most women, when they fantasize about sex, imagine themselves as being anything other than women in their sexual fantasies.

  11. #36
    Non-binary/Questioning
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    380
    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    If part of you feels feminine, how else is that part going to express itself except by presenting as a woman? The extreme case, trans women, tend to fantasize about being women during sexual activities because they ARE women. I don't believe that most women, when they fantasize about sex, imagine themselves as being anything other than women in their sexual fantasies.
    Exactly. I can tell from your previous post that you're familiar with the objections to Blanchard's work. I only call myself an autogynephile because I'm not (yet?) convinced that I am a woman, only that I sometimes want to be one, and that label (in its strictest sense and without Blanchard's interpretations) seems to fit me best at the moment. I'm certainly not a gay man who feels that being female is a better route to getting it on with other guys because I can do that just fine as a bisexual male. I don't have the fantasy because I'm CDing, but dressing during sex with a guy might help me make that particular fantasy a bit more 'real'.

  12. #37
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,264
    I'm the most unkinky girl on the planet.
    I dress for me to complete me.

  13. #38
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,303
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    I always find it interesting (and irritating) when a dressing-for-sexual-excitement thread prompts those whose dressing is non-sexual to drive the point home. Is this really necessary.
    The positive reaction to initially strong sexual gratification does rewire the brain and eventually it does change a person's personality, even after libido has decreased. Maybe the people for whom it is no longer or rarely sexual have selective memory?
    Reine

  14. #39
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    SW England
    Posts
    2,924
    "No Sex Please, We're Prudes Here."
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  15. #40
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,912
    @pamela7 - yep, that's pretty much the situation. We're really hung up on sex and sexuality, particularly in the United States. And so anything having to do with sex is seen as less legitimate - and I do mean anything. Of course the irony is that sex sells, so our culture is just steeped in it.

    There are a number of reasons though, why someone for whom dressing isn't sexual might chime in. I women people now who CDed from a VERY young age, or performed in drag at a later age, and claim it was never sexual for them. I'm inclined to believe them, as they've been forthcoming with me enough about other sensitive topics that I think they'd admit it were it the case.

    There are trans women who NEVER put on a stitch of women's clothing until several months after starting HRT. None of this was sexual for them, ever.

    So for people in those first two groups, it's pretty hard to imagine something like that, because the idea is so foreign to them.

    I know people for whom CDing was highly sexual, including me . There is a very powerful impulse in the trans community, I think, to tell "the one true trans story," i.e. you knew from birth you were a girl, it was never sexual, you're straight, etc. Telling people - "yup, I would put on women's garments and masturbate," just makes the rest of the narrative seem less real. We're all really embarrassed that we do that, right? (Well, many of us seem to be!) By the way, these feelings stopped for me after I came out - so it really is pretty hard to imagine feeling sexual about wearing clothes, but I remember well how I used to feel. It was highly sexual - until suddenly it just wasn't. I'm just not ashamed to admit it, but I suspect some of us are.

    I'd actually say more about my own experience, but I'm probably pushing the envelope here...

  16. #41
    Member Jennifer0874's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    148
    I will say that my dressing has led my wife to be more open about her own sexuality. In turn we have tried some kinky things. Those kinky things often center around my dressing.

    Just the same I can be dressed for several days in a row without any kind of sexual interaction and I'm happy just the same.

  17. #42
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    24
    I was alluding to this when I asked in a thread about "Where I fit". I am kinky, but not "all-inclusive" kinky. My kink manifests itself in my CDing, being submissive, wanting a woman to "Catch me" and have her way with me (including tying me up!), my love of hosiery and heels (On me and on most women!). For me, CDing is very sexual. For you? Well I'll leave that to you!

    I don't think all this makes me "bad", it just makes me, me! Each here has their own reason(s) for why they are here, including for most, some sort of understanding/acceptance that isn't readily available in our "normal" (often judgmental) world!

  18. #43
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,253
    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    "yup, I would put on women's garments and masturbate," just makes the rest of the narrative seem less real. We're all really embarrassed that we do that, right? (Well, many of us seem to be!)
    It's a little personal and yes, I'm a bit embarrassed but... I guess I am one of those gals. In fact, if I don't get that out of the way pretty much right after I step into a pair of heels there is not a way I'll be able to tuck the dangly bits away or even think of doing anything else to try and transform. Not every time but much of the time.

    But with the forum having the culture that we do of putting sex, eroticism, arousal, kink, fetishism way, way, way in the background where we don't see it much, don't you think it offers a bit more legitimacy to this site over the thousands of others where the sexual aspect is constantly talked about or in your face? I don't know. Maybe. Not trying to turn the thread... more of a rhetorical question.

    Paula's comment above though (plus several of the others) helps me feel like I'm not weird though for needing to touch myself once I start putting on my girl stuff.
    I am not a woman nor am I a man... I am an enby. Hi, I am Wren.

  19. #44
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,800
    OK people back ON track with the OP. Read it and quit arguing over WHY
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  20. #45
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    7,118
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    The positive reaction to initially strong sexual gratification does rewire the brain and eventually it does change a person's personality, even after libido has decreased. Maybe the people for whom it is no longer or rarely sexual have selective memory?
    I kind of wonder; my initial crossdressing encounters were for someone else's sexual pleasure, and it did involve sexual behavior, though at the time there was no sexual excitement on my part at all. That would come much later in my life, but still, it wasn't connected to the clothing I was wearing, but to the concept of doing what a girl would do in whatever situation I was in at the moment. So even though there was a period in my life when I would get sexually aroused when dressed as a girl, it wasn't the dressing up as a girl that initiated the arousal, but more that I was just a horny young male who was horny pretty much all the time, so it was inevitable that it would occur sometimes when I was in 'girl mode'. Still, it didn't 'rewire my brain', because as my libido declined a bit, it's still not connected to crossdressing. I don't know if anyone else has had similar experience.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  21. #46
    Rene L -
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    64
    In the interest of getting back to the OP

    1. I fantasize about attracting males and have one acquaintance that likes it when I can dress for him.
    2. Not so much for attracting females, would like to "fit in" sometime at least once.
    3. YES! Makes me want to get caught, "punished", and made to do things, but all in a controlled environment. (I won't post details here so as no to violate any rules. Pm me if you want more information.)
    4. I LOVE heels and handcuffs. .

  22. #47
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    610
    Lola . . L O L A Lola . . . Lo, Lo Lo Lo Loooolaaaaaaa!

  23. #48
    New Member anton jon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    wexford Ireland
    Posts
    25
    Hi have no attraction to men in any way, I have no interest in attracting men or women with cding. I am a one woman man.
    Now with that said I am by far the kinkiest person I have ever met. I will try anything but not with men and cding has never been part of that.
    Don't get me wrong because I have had fun alone in dress over the years and over the last week my wife and I have tried a colection of things and have a list of other things we wish to try with me as anton jon . We have had a lot more action with me as anthony.
    We are very very very active with our sex life, many times a day and most days but me as anton jon only expanded our options it didn't change everything else we do.
    I don't want to be a woman I don't need to look like a woman, I am a little angry with the fact that my wife could walk down the road wearing any of my male clothes and no one would care in the least bit but if I walked down the road wearing what I am wearing every single person would look, most would not have a problem with it, I am shy and don't want anyone looking at me.
    I dress because I look good in that style I don't look like a woman I just look good now with that said I do like when I do look like a woman but it has nothing to do with sex. By the way I am wearing alime green ladys american football style tshirt with matching lace panties with white skinny jeans that flare out at the bottom and I have a pair of lime green ladys slippers on. I don't look like a woman I look gay, I wish I had a pure white wig on and my very gem filled glam make up on. Then I would look like a woman to other but not too me, to me I would just look hot.
    So with that explained no to attracting anyone else it to be attractive to me and not for any thing sex related.

    Hope that was not too off point but it did answer the question.

    Love
    Anton jon

  24. #49
    Member CD Tammy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    462
    For me it is the naughtiness of it. I like wearing clothes that are tight and I do self bondage. I haven't tried to be passable, yet.

  25. #50
    Sometimes Clueless Laurie A's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    300
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    The positive reaction to initially strong sexual gratification does rewire the brain and eventually it does change a person's personality, even after libido has decreased. Maybe the people for whom it is no longer or rarely sexual have selective memory?
    Interesting you should say that, as I think that is what happened to me, except that I do remember, and I actually miss my libido..... What was once kinky to me is now more or less meh

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State