Just wondering for those who get at least somewhat aroused by dressing do you lose all interest post orgasm? Is the desire the same or just slightly less? This is an area that I am exploring with my therapist and I wonder how others feel. For me the need does diminish most times but not for very long. Does anyone feel turned off by dressing at that point? Thanks for sharing.
In the past. Yes. I did feel almost disgusted with myself. Take it all off and tell myself that it was bad and I should feel bad about it. Hang my head n shame. Try and pack it all away or sometimes go so far as to throw a certain item away that I was fixated on. That was then. I don't feel that way any more for a couple of reason. Which I won't go into. But I did in the past and I do not now.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same
When I dress I usually have little or no sexual urge; on the rare times that I do, it's not related to the dressing but more likely because it's been several days since I last had an orgasm and if going "solo" I most likely will fantasize on something completely different from the dressing, usually about having sex with my wife. Dressing usually takes the edge off and when dressed, I can actually postpone orgasm for a day or two longer than usual. I just feel more "me" when dressed and it's a nice feeling but not as much sexual one. If I should orgasm before dressing either solo or after intimacy, to a certain extent the urge to dress afterwards goes away but only briefly. I admit when I dressed in my 20s, a session was much more likely to end with self-gratification like Natasha and with the same feelings. Now dressing just seems like a natural part of my personality (I'm in my 50s). NOT dressing does result in intense frustration though, at least when I'm in the mood to dress. I can go for long periods of being mostly on the male side of the spectrum, my gender is somewhat fluid, and varies from 60/40 male/female to 60/40 female/male, with the latter being the most usual. And in when I'm in the latter mood, as I am now, I need to dress at least several times a week and I wear panties 24/7, the latter with my wife's approval and support, the rest DADT.
I do think however, that this will vary from person to person, age, where we we are on the gender spectrum, the basic etiology of our CDing, etc.
Most of what JeanTG wrote also applies to me. Dressing up doesn't set off any sexual urges, nor does feeling horny initiate the desire to dress up. But there are times when I experience both together. The fantasy never seemed to change depending on whether I'm dressed as a girl or boy. After self satisfaction it doesn't alter the desire to stay dressed up. Hope that answers your question.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Dressing for me is multi-faceted and I doubt that I'm very different from many of you. (1) It's definitely sexual. (2) It's nice to step outside of myself and be someone else for a while. (3) I find female clothing and females in general to be so much more pleasing to all senses that I want to be part of that. Females are so much more interesting and appealing than men.
All of that being said, after "satisfaction" my need to dress subsides for a few days to a week and then it quickly moves back into the front of my mind. Since I only dress during business travel, sometimes the need to dress can boil for a while.
I have long gotten past the self-disgust that I experienced after dressing. And I'm much better at understanding that my she-side is part of the total person. Oops - venturing off-topic and now wading around in a stream of consciousness.
I think Pamela's reply mirrors my feelings spot on. The biggest difference is that I can dress as often as I want and am encouraged by my SO to do so. Sometimes, I wonder who she likes better!
Much Much more before than after that said, I used to want to get out of the clothes in 10 seconds...now I am very comfortable after...but the urge is less. For me sexuality and crossdressing are connected..
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
There is no right or wrong answer. Everyone has their own way of addressing the arousal crossdressing can bring, and some CDers say there is no sexual connection. So it doesn't matter what other people do. But if you're just curious, when I'm done, I'm done. But it's not out of shame and disgust.......it's just over for now. I'm meticulous about cleaning up and putting everything away, ready for next time. That is certainly not a loss of interest.
The "need" to dress does vary before and after orgasm. This is natural and due to the effect of neurotransmitters in your brain.
As you stimulate yourself your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other feel good neurotransmitters. Dopamine levels peak with orgasm and then the prolactin kicks in. Prolactin is the neurotransmitters associated with the pulling away response post orgasm. For a short period after orgasm you no longer feel the dopamine influence. Then the prolactin wears away and you are back to your old cross-dressing self.
http://www.entelechyjournal.com/pull...after_sex1.htm
This all seems to suggest to me that crossdressing is a biological condition, and not just a psychological one. Your brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female, and responding by releasing appropriate neurotransmitters. Now most men can wear women's clothing and not get the same response. Their brains will not release the neurotransmitters, but ours do... I believe this indicates that sometime in our early brain development (synaptogenesis) we made neural connections between feminine articles and identity.
Please note: Getting aroused from dressing is not why we do the dressing. We do the dressing because we need to feel the good sensations from these neurotransmitters. Even if I never use crossdressing to arouse myself, I would still get sensations of comfort, well-being and self authentication from doing so.
Last edited by Confucius; 02-01-2016 at 11:56 AM.
I don't get aroused by dressing. What I have noticed is that if I'm dressing for an extended period, 8-10 hours or longer. there is no desire for any sexual "pleasuring" once the time to go drab arrives. However if my dressing time is limited to a short period 1-2 hrs say, then self gratification is a way of nutralising my disappointment at having to return to drab prematurely. It draws a line under the proceedings.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
really? You want to know other's sexual habits? (Stay in the rulez, keep it clean and for the love of Mike NO DETAILS)
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
long ago, a teenager with raging hormones-yes it was more of a sexual attraction- now years later, not having red polish on my toenails is something I'm constantly aware of when its missing...even in drab with work boots. For instance, i wish so much i could wear several gold bangle bracelets but my hands are too large- not sexually related but when i hear someone wearing that sound of the bracelets it's reassuring, comforting. Like many answers, most things related to CD are not erotic but they soothe and enliven me.
Confucius,
It's been a while since you've posted but it's an opportune time and you describe it exactly how it is with me.
My dressing started with a bang just as you described I was about nine years old, it tied the male female side together with my sexual needs.
To answer Sara's question initially the male side would be satisfied and the clothes discarded, but then the need returns, now I stay dressed the male/female side is satisfied.
I will admit that wanting sex when dressed is beginning to become annoying, but can't be resisted , the clothes mean more to me now than the sexual part.
I used to lose interest in CDing for several days after. Now, it's just for a couple hours, if at all.
Last edited by MelanieAnne; 02-01-2016 at 02:14 PM.
I recalled the first time I slipped the panty on, got so sexually aroused, I "released" instantly, then followed by a lost interest completely. This cycle of sexual excitement and anticlimax diminished as I grew older.
As a teenager there was a sexual component to dressing. In the 1960's love was not as "free" as the history book portray. Not everyone was a Woodstock rolling joints and rolling in the hay. Nor was there porn readily available, and, the porn there was around really was tame by today's standards. I guess one may say dressing or using women's clothing was akin to a sex aid. Usually after "experimenting" with women's clothing there was a lot of disgust and self loathing.
As a more mature adult with a hot wife dressing with a sexual component gradually disappeared. Now? Comparing my teenage exploits with the opportunity to wear my mother's lingerie and one dress I could squeeze into with now, there is no comparison. Now, being en femme does not elicit any self loathing or disgust. I enjoy my womanly side. Self gratification while en femme? Nope! I have too much to do while en femme; laundry, ironing, vacuuming, dish washing, baking, meal preparation, etc.
As a youth would there be an difference between wearing women's clothing or reading Playboy? I suspect whatever turns someone on or acts as a sex aid diminishes after self gratification is over.
[QUOTE=Confucius;3889803]The "need" to dress does vary before and after orgasm. This is natural and due to the effect of neurotransmitters in your brain.
As you stimulate yourself your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other feel good neurotransmitters. Dopamine levels peak with orgasm and then the prolactin kicks in. Prolactin is the neurotransmitters associated with the pulling away response post orgasm. For a short period after orgasm you no longer feel the dopamine influence. Then the prolactin wears away and you are back to your old cross-dressing self. ...
/QUOTE]
Is there a 'Like' button I can hit?
Last edited by Lorileah; 02-27-2016 at 03:27 PM. Reason: yuou didn't need to quote the whole post to agree
Like many have expressed here, when I was in my 20's my dressing was pretty much all about the sexual turn-on. I would pretty much always satisfy myself and then undress and be fine for awhile. Now that I am a bit more mature, I dress more regularly. Yes, there is always a sense of arousal when I start to dress in Fem but not the urge to satisfy myself. I can now be dressed for 15-20 hours and never have the urge for sexual gratification. Though I am always aroused. And now, more often than not, I dress, and undress with no sexual component. Sometimes it happens but not always like when I was young.
When I am hungry, really hungry, I eat my food with joy and vigor probably faster than I should. At some point, I hit a phase shift, where suddenly what was so good now seems kind of gross. I don't even want to see the food in front of me at that moment. However, I know I will need to eat again, and I don't feel guilt about the meal I just had (well, maybe a little if I really over-gorged and am trying to lose weight). But the fact remains that I need to eat regularly, and know I will want to, and will do so some time later. It doesn't change the fact I have needs, and that it can be pleasurable to fulfill them. As long as it all has it's proper place, time, and quantity.
Then how do you explain gay (i.e., strictly attracted to men) and asexual crossdressers?Originally Posted by Confucius
Confucius your post makes so much sense, very interesting insight.
Also, as Natasha had mentioned, in my early and mid 20's I had similar feelings, but as I grew up and learned to accept and love myself I realized that I had no reason to hate myself or feel disgusted, this is a part of me and this is who I am.
So instead of trying to shape and mold myself into what I thought others wanted me to be, and being miserable, I focused on shaping up myself in a way that I could be happy with.
That said, I used to feel different pre vs post, but at this point I don't.
I don't get aroused from dressing, but I have noticed that afterwards, my gender identity often fluctuates. Generally speaking, the desire to dress as my internal gender dictates remains constant, but the internal identity doesn't. I usually end up wearing a different outfit afterwards than the one I was wearing before.
For me, it is a very strong arousal. However, it's only when I have on lingerie or stockings/garterbelt etc. that it happens. Sometimes, I will fully dress afterward, but in more conservative attire, just to lounge around in. Other times, afterwards, I lose interest for a couple of hours.
Last edited by Lorileah; 02-27-2016 at 03:26 PM. Reason: don't question the mods
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
My dressing is not sexual.
No, I feel good wearing female clothing no matter my sexual state. From the feel of the bra to my panties to the sweep of my long skirt across the tops of my feet, it all feels great. If i do need to gratify myself sexually it's within that context and i have no shame or disgust. My life continues as normal afterwards(with a little help from Kleenex) and my dress stays on. My wife agrees with that as well. As she says soiled lingerie is what washing machines are for.
Stephie.
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