The thing is, "dressing prettily" only describes the day-to-day motives of a small fraction of women. Most women dress for function. The way they present in their day-to-day lives (at home, at school, at work) is who they are.
Look carefully at these women's style of clothing, their faces, body types and ages. Would it be your aim to look like any of them, or would you rather look like the prettiest, most stylishly dressed. And if you did this, would you then put blinders on and not see the others. Would you tell yourself that the prettiest, most stylishly dressed defines "woman", while ignoring the rich diversity of womanhood in this picture.
https://www.cs.helsinki.fi/group/uhc...photo-2015.jpg
They are ALL women.
A vagina is beside the point when also considering trans-women. Vaginas don't define all women in my book. I know fully transitioned TSs who are women, who go about their daily lives living as women and who don't all have vaginas. One fully transitioned TS friend is a contractor and dresses in overalls and workboots during most of her day, with her hair pulled back, no makeup, and no jewelry because these things get in the way of her work.
No. The flaw in your argument is that you say, "one may want to have ALL of these attributes". What are
all the attributes. In the picture above, some women have short hair. Some are overweight. Some are older. Some have square-ish bodies. Most dress for function and not style. Most don't wear makeup. Most don't have long, painted nails. Most aren't wearing jewelry. Some don't have the type of looks that would get them hired as models, nor would they even want this.
So you really are wanting only a select set of attributes: pretty, stylishly dressed, and with curves, "feminine" in the
Mad Men (or similar) traditional view of femininity. This does not describe being a contemporary woman. But it does describes what many CDers want.
Does this make sense?
I'm not putting you down for being a CDer. Of course you should feel free to dress prettily and stylishly, to express what femininity means to you. I fully support you. But to say this makes you a woman is simply false, when the reality is that most women don't adhere to your representation of what is a woman ... nor do they want to.