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Thread: Ask A Transsexual - Part Two

  1. #51
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    It hasn't been 3 years, it's been a long, slow journey of 35 or 40 years for me because I identified as a crossdresser for many of those years. In a way that self-definition prevented me from seeing the scope of my gender identity quandary. I didn't recognize my dysphoria for what it was and found the easiest ways to stop feeling that strange, uncomfortable longing. I picked the low hanging fruit, but as the years went on there was less and less that I could reach. In the beginning it was once every few months in the closet with just a few borrowed clothing items that would do the trick. Then I wanted my own things and looked forward to more frequent and longer sessions. Then I had to get out of the closet, then meet others online, then in person, then tell someone and so on and so on. The dysphoria was being addressed but it was not being resolved.

    It wasn't until I was years into hormone therapy, out to the world and following a couple of surgeries that I no longer felt my dysphoria. It was either transition or carry the weight of hiding and feeling the misery of dysphoria with me all my days. Today, I'm finally mostly comfortable with who I am, but I don't plan on stopping my transition journey. The motivation is just different than it was before.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  2. #52
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    Question for those that have transitioned: what made you decide that transitioning was right for you?

  3. #53
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Plenty saved for retirement! Decided the workplace and neighborhood was sufficiently open minded enough for me to transition in place!
    When they put in a dress code I was able to wear skorts to work and nobody said anything.
    High heels were quite practical as they could hear me coming down the hallway even though they couldn't see me as there was a T intersection.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 01-22-2024 at 07:32 PM.

  4. #54
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    Found it harder to not accept myself as the decades went by, then the combination of covid restrictions preventing crossdressing and creating worry of mortality plus a few 'gender swap' selfies led to the proverbial egg crack, and once I allowed the idea of actually transitioning it felt undeniable. Read the list of effects of HRT more seriously and thought I want all of those good ones.

  5. #55
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I tried everything I could think of or was told about that might help quiet my dysphoria. Some never worked and others worked for a while before they too failed to provide relief. Once I was widowed and retired in an "empty nest" I found all my reasons to not transition were little more than false fronts that hid the truth. I was startled to discover how much correcting my hormones helped me find peace of mind. It wasn't enough and I had to get some surgeries and start living full time. Finally, that longing has vanished, and I can finally experience life as someone cis gender does. That is, not worrying about my gender and being able to focus on life without running everything through the "fear of discovery" filter.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine Spirit View Post
    Oh fun, label time. I have used many of them over my life:

    child/teen - weirdo, freak, social misfit
    20's - sexual fetishist
    30's - transvestite
    early 40's - cross dresser ----- see right here, I used cross dresser, lol
    mid 40's - trans woman
    now - woman/female
    Your journey always sounds like what happens in my head. In my culture, there are some spirits who are both male and female at the same time. So I?ve always identified as such and cross dressing has been enough to satisfy that side but dreams and repeated specific feelings when when fully one side of myself have me wondering how some of you made the decision. I imagine I would just know and that?s that, like no question at all, but is that just a fantasy? Were you girls
    Just as skeptical or absolute?

  7. #57
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Speaking for myself, it was absolute. If there is a choice, don?t transition. Here?s why; you may lose family, friends, home, community, wealth and possessions. Physical/medical transition is painful with long recovery and horribly expensive. Hormones and surgeries will not turn you into the young attractive female in your fantasies, only a feminized version of yourself.

    You have not experienced life as Olivia, just occasional time alone, maybe an inconspicuous drive. You also seem to be in a DADT relationship. You remain in this situation because of your fears. I know because this was my life many years ago.

    You will know if and when transition is necessary.

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