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Thread: What if a CD friend fully transitioned?

  1. #1
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    What if a CD friend fully transitioned?

    There is another thread questioning how accepting you would be if someone you knew came out as trans.

    I've been out to a large number of TGs who I thought were "Just a Crossdresser". I was kind of thrown for a loop when they decided to transition to become full-time, post-op transwomen. Not that I had a problem with it. How can a CD have and objection to someone deciding to live as the girl inside. I was just kind of surprised.

    I've also had private conversations with friends about how far they would go if life/circumstances were different.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    i know how I would react, because, like you, I have friends who once classified themselves as CD who ultimately transitioned. I always am supportive of those who make that realization and find the way forward.

    I also must admit to feeling a bit of envy and a little fear that I may soon have to confront a similar tipping point.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Many years ago I had two friends who transitioned, I was more than enthusiastic and slightly jealous of their "luck".
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
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    If I knew a CD that was about to transition, I would be accepting, but I would also ask them to fully think it through before doing anything too drastic.

    I've seen far too many post-op regrets and de-transitions in my time.
    Last edited by Queen Bridget; 05-23-2018 at 04:14 PM.

  5. #5
    Member Richelle423's Avatar
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    When I met my SO her roommate had a BF that was a CD. They got married but after a few years he/she came out as trans. Then they got divorced. The wife started dating women All I can say is that he/she looked way better presenting as female. BTW nobody knew I was CD/TG as well. I always wish everyone well if they choose this new path of life

  6. #6
    Señora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    Having known more than one person that has transitioned, I would have to say that I was surprised as in all but one case they were completely in the closet, then bam! they were transioning.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-23-2018 at 05:04 PM.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Bridget View Post
    If I knew a CD that was about to transition, I would be accepting, but I would also ask them to fully think it through before doing anything too drastic.

    I've seen far too many post-op regrets and de-transitions in my time.
    Really ??

    Exactly how many post op regrets and de[transitions have you seen in your time??


    FWIW

    I know personally of none...and I know close to 200 people that transitioned or plan to....

    I know its cd forum but keep it real...
    I am real

  8. #8
    Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    I'm not sure.... I guess I'd be happy for them. If I knew he was a CD I don't think it would come as a surprise really. I'm sure the frequent dressing prior to the decision would have made me wonder anyway.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele View Post
    Really ??

    Exactly how many post op regrets and de[transitions have you seen in your time??
    I don't keep an exact number count. Sorry. I kind of hesitated to even bring it up. I know of some who were treated badly by communities for even suggesting their regret. It's quite a taboo subject in some circles.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I have a friend that is transitioned. No problems with that. She is a good friend.
    Part Time Girl

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I know several people that have become fully transitioned to female. They are family friends that are totally accepted by the family and who attend family events in which they are accepted and treated as they are. No big deal.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    Now this is just my opinion, The longer i've been around people in the community, the more i'm convinced that there are very few CDers within the community. I believe we are more like amphibians.
    Starting out as a tadpole and if conditions are right becoming a Frog.
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  13. #13
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    I would like to think I would open about it but I know I would have a hard time swapping pronouns full time. I’m a bit slow on the uptake at times!
    “Hatred only breeds more hatred.” -The Invid Regis

    “We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest... trying to figure itself out”. - Delenn

  14. #14
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    My friend has recently decided after much soul searching that she needs to Transition,Not totally out of the blue but she has my full and unwavering support.She will need the support of her friends as she still has to explain to her two children about her plan,and she will need us to rally round

    Also she has been there for me when I've been going through hard times with my son,always letting me bend her ear.If we don't support and look out for each other then we would be very poor friends indeed
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

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  15. #15
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Steffi, it has happened to 3 girls I know so far... one went from never dressing to transitioning within 3 years and the first year she was very much a guy crossdressing, then walked away for 6 months and came back trans...it was quite a shock too as for a long time she was definitely saying I am a man and like being one, I just like to dress occasionally...now she is on hormones..
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  16. #16
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    That wouldn't chnage my friendship at all, I would try to help them wherever possible.

  17. #17
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    It is her life - she would have my support and continued friendship

  18. #18
    Sixty Something Gypsy Sam's Avatar
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    A work associate has changed his name to a female one, and aggressively has argued with other associates who would not use the female name when interacting with them. Customers still call him sir, though he has begun hormone treatments. Jeans and a shirt with a collar on it are the work requirements. Other associates male and female treat the matter with scorn, but avoid conflict when inter acting with this person directly. Choose not to reveal my desire to CD, as no one but my wife knows. Our store has a number of lesbians who are proud about their choices, but not in your face about it. No male admits to being gay. Long history of Hetero relationships leading to marriage, Large corporate entity has accommodated the trans person by HR guidelines. The general populace of associates mock his desire to transition,females more than males.

  19. #19
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    I would treat them the way I would hope to be treated if I were the one transitioning. I would have no problem with it.
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Steffi,
    That's the great thing about attending a social group , we have a mixture of some who have transitioned , some who are on hormones and some are mostly crossdressers for a few hours . So there is support for everyone , hearing the view of someone who is starting on the TS road and the obstacles they face is always food for thought but we aren't there to discourage them , if that's their need then we accept it .

    Kelly,
    Now a frog is something I've never wanted to be but I get your analogy !
    Last edited by Teresa; 05-24-2018 at 10:17 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  21. #21
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have to ask how well you knew and how often you interacted with these "Just Crossdressers"? I ask that because when we only see someone periodically, maybe at social gatherings, we really do not have a lot of time getting to really know the person, nor to participate in whatever public conversations they have about themselves and where they are in life and where they may be going. To me these are very casual relationships, that most of us have in some way with co-workers, friends of friends or even members of special social or special interest groups. I have to believe that if one is close enough to that other person, they would see some part of the transition taking place and not be totally surprised.

    I personally know several people that have gone from zero to full on transiting over a very short time period, several of those are or were active members here. They had dealt with their gender dysphoria all their lives, sometimes not even knowing what it was, confusing it with being gay sometimes, then all of a sudden with better information, including being members of this site, they realize what they are. Some like that start out crossdressing, thinking that is what they are to only realize later that they are actually in the wrong body and transition is necessary to balance their lives, remove the dysphoria and start enjoying their lives. I took one of those out into the real world for her first time crossdressing as a woman. She is now way past post transition and living a full life as the woman that she is.

  22. #22
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I've met quite a few TS and others that are currently transitioning. Can't say it's happened to anyone that was more than an acquaintance. But it has been surprising that quite a few that come to our support group aren't crossdressers. They nervously come to one of the meetings dressing in front of others for the first time. But they have a high degree of dysphoria and don't wanna be male anymore. Still, others are on the fence about transitioning due to family, career etc.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  23. #23
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Given that transition is such a huge, difficult, often painful (emotionally and otherwise) ordeal, I can only have admiration for those that I know who have done it. Mere acceptance would never be a question.

  24. #24
    Somewhere in-between. Krea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth G View Post
    I would treat them the way I would hope to be treated if I were the one transitioning. I would have no problem with it.
    That's exactly it. I would want to be there to support them.
    "Welcome to my scene.
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  25. #25
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I guess I don't get the sense of the question. "What if a CD friend fully transitioned?" somehow draws a distinction between CD friends and all others. Why? If I knew someone as a CD and they decided to transition I'd assume they discovered a new truth about themselves and were acting on it. If I knew someone as CIS and they decided to transition I'd assume they discovered a new truth about themselves and were acting on it. In either case, the key word in the question is "friend" not "CD" and not "transitioned." If they were my friends, I'd support them.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

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